House was wandering the hospital in a desperate search for something to do. And he had better find it soon. His leg was killing him. His intern sucked. Who took an hour to fill one pill bottle? He spotted Meredith at a nurses' station, looking worried and like she didn't want to talk to anyone. So naturally, he headed towards here. Leaning casually against the desk, he asked, "So who'd you do last night?"
Her head whipped up, deer-in-headlights expression firmly fixed upon her face. "No one," she lied…badly.
House made a loud buzzer sound. "Wrong answer. Ooh, was it McDreamy again? The nurses will have a field day!"
Sure enough, the nurses who had all been listening discreetly had all glanced up.
Meredith shot him a look and led him away from the nurses' prying eyes. "No, it was not Dr. Shepherd."
He studied her. "I'll find out. Mark my words."
"You are in desperate need of a hobby."
"That's what they tell me. I, personally, think prying is a great hobby. Snoop around, discover a secret, and then videotape the fallout. Reality TV is hot lately."
Meredith rolled her eyes. "Anything else, Dr. House?"
"Yeah, find my intern. He kidnapped my pills."
"You can't kidnap inanimate objects," she pointed out.
House looked shocked. "Don't say that! They might hear you," he stage whispered.
Meredith shook her head. "I'm sure you'll last a few hours without them."
"But I like them."
"Most addicts do."
"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but pills will make it better."
"I'm leaving now."
"Fine, I'll just go find other interns to torture. If Bailey asks, I'm not here. And send that moron intern to me. His name is Alex. But don't tell him I know that."
Meredith froze at the mention of Alex's name, her face coloring. She knew it was more to hope for that House had missed that reaction and decided to make a quick getaway and put off the inevitable mocking. The man took too much joy from discussing her personal life.
"You slept with Alex?" House asked in a loud whisper, putting a hand to his open mouth in fake shock.
"I can't hear you," Meredith called on her way to the elevator.
"I said you slept with Alex?" House yelled.
Meredith practically ran to the elevator as the nurses erupted in conversation.
House grinned smugly. Finally, some excitement.
---x---
"Hey, Chase."
Chase didn't even look up. He wouldn't let himself. As soon as he saw Izzie, he would want to kiss her and he couldn't do that. Cameron's life was too important for him to devote any less than 100 of his attention. "Hey, Iz," he answered finally.
"So, whatcha doing?"
"Working," he answered curtly. "Did you want something?" He could practically feel Izzie's hurt stare.
Her breath caught a few times and out of the corner of his eye, he saw her bite her lip.
"Nope, nothing important."
The door slammed a moment later and Chase leaned back in his chair, hanging his head with a heavy sigh. He had no idea what to do, as usual. Getting to his feet, he began pacing, his mind racing. Somehow, he found himself walking out the door and down the hall into Cameron's room. She was unconscious, as per House's orders. He claimed it would make it easier to handle the various symptoms. He took Cameron's hand in his own, rubbing it lightly with his thumb.
"Hey, Cameron…Allison. Never called you that before. It's weird. Especially since we…you know. Listen, I don't know what to do and yes, I realize you can't exactly help me, being unconscious and dying and all. But I just…I needed to talk to you. I like Izzie. She's a nice girl. But I can't help feeling guilty. Especially after that talk we had before you left for vacation. Speaking of, Seattle? Really, Cam…Allison? At least go somewhere sunny. Although I suppose House wouldn't think to look here. God knows he checked everywhere else. The man has OCD, I swear. You should have seen him. I-I think he likes you, actually. He probably doesn't realize it yet, but he does. I can see it. And that scares me and pisses me off. He's what you've wanted all these years and now that you've started moving on and we're ready to try dating, he's going to come in a swoop you off your feet. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Allison, if you can hear me, I want this to work. I want us to work. I just hope you want that, too."
The monitors started beeping and Chase raced around the bed to study them. "I need help in here!"
---x---
Alex sighed and rubbed his brow. The idiot in the front of the line was arguing over the inflated price – $2 difference for Pete's sake! – and the equally moronic pharmacist was arguing back.
"Hey, buddy! I'll give you ten bucks if you shut up and pay."
The idiot turned and shot Alex an exasperated look. "That's not the point." He turned back and picked up the argument where he left off. Everyone else on the line groaned in unison.
"Hey, you! Intern! Where are my pills?" House made his way to the pharmacy, staring the line in curiosity.
Alex held up the empty Vicodin bottle. "I haven't gotten them yet."
"I see that. The question is why."
The intern sighed heavily. "That moron is fighting over a two dollar price increase."
House stared eyed the man. "Hey, cheap wad!" He limped up and elbowed the guy out of the way. "Move," he added unnecessarily.
"Hey!"
The doctor discreetly moved his cane above the man's foot and pressed down. The man yelped and jumped away.
"Oh, so sorry." He didn't even try to look sorry. Instead, House just slammed his pill bottle down on the counter. The pharmacist was staring at the swearing man off to the side and didn't move. "Good God, man! Hurry it up! Some of us have patients."
The pharmacist glared but took the bottle. "I'll need your prescription."
House snapped his fingers behind him. "Intern! Bring your prescription pad."
Alex scribbled a prescription and the still-glaring pharmacist filled it. House slapped down an extra two dollars and grabbed the cheapskate's medicine. Just as he was about to toss it to the man, who's limp now matched House's, he caught the medication name. Tuberculosis meds. Fingering the bottle, he stared off thoughtfully. He vaguely registered the sound of a pager going off until Alex called his name.
"911 on Dr. Cameron."
He pocketed his pills and tossed the others to the man before following Alex to the elevator, his churning mind stilled by inexplicable concern for Cameron.
---x---
Foreman reached the room at the same time as House and they walked in together.
"What happened?"
Chase stepped forward, running his fingers through his hair nervously. "Her lungs aren't working properly. I had to put her back on the respirator."
House watched silently as her chest rose and fell, aided by the machine next to her bed. Something wasn't right. He almost had it, but not quite. "Follow me, kiddies."
---x---
The team filed into the conference room grimly. The Seattle Grace surgeons, Webber included, and the interns all followed. Even House was worried, as much as he tried to convince himself otherwise. Picking up a tennis ball, he started bouncing it off the wall. "What's the differential?"
"Could be cancer," Foreman suggested.
"MRI, CT, and ultrasound were fine," Chase pointed out.
"Maybe the scans missed it. We could run them again."
"We already ran them three times. Maybe it's Reye's Syndrome?"
"Her liver is fine," Webber answered.
"Encephalitis?" Cristina offered.
"Or meningoencephalitis?" Meredith added.
Shepherd joined in, shaking his head. "EEG was fine."
"We're close, I can feel it." House lobbed the ball at the wall with too much force.
"I still think it might be cancer."
The ball bounced back and hit Foreman in the head.
"See, even the ball knows that's a stupid idea."
Foreman tossed the ball back, hitting House's pocket which made a rattling noise.
"Careful! You'll hurt my little buddies." House dug into his pocket and withdrew the pill bottle. He popped it open to take a few, but paused, staring at the bottle. They had reminded him of the TB pills the idiot from the pharmacy had gotten. His mind started racing again.
"What is it?" Foreman asked. "I'm not paying for more if they broke."
House pulled himself up, shuffling over to the white board. He added 'lung failure' and tapped the board impatiently with the marker. "What we have is a sneaky little bugger. It's like a gang of thieves. Each one has a specialty, something it does that the others don't. That's how they get you. You're expecting it to show one way, but this guy has to be a little different, just to throw you off. Her EEG was fine, but what about her CT? Are you sure it was clear?"
"Well, it showed minor brain swelling, but we figured it was from the medication. You think it's a brain infection?"
"But we already established that it's not encephalitis and it can't be meningitis." Burke said.
House turned around. "Why not?"
"Lumbar puncture showed clear spinal fluid. The CSF was fine and there were no organisms on the smear," Bailey answered.
House leaned on his cane with both hands, staring at the ground with narrowed eyes. "Foreman, Chase, what do you know about Cameron's personal life?"
Foreman shook his head. "Nothing. You're not going to make us fly back and search her apartment, are you?"
Ignoring Foreman, House stared at Chase, who had remained silent. "Aussie?"
Chase sighed. "Her parents live in upstate New York. Her sister lives in Quebec. Allison doesn't talk to any of them very often. They had a big fight when Allison got married in college."
"When did you learn all that?" Foreman asked incredulously.
"Probably about when he started calling her Allison. She have a boyfriend?"
Chase hesitated for a moment. "No."
House tilted his head slightly.
"What?" Chase asked defensively. "That's all I know."
His boss didn't bother answering. He just left the room, hobbling down the hall to Cameron's room.
"C'mon. He had that 'I'm gonna does something crazy' look," Foreman told Chase, already running after their boss, Chase and the other doctors close behind.
House closed the door and propped a chair against it before slamming his cane on the bedside table with a resounding crack that stirred Cameron. "Cameron. Wake up. Cameron!"
Her eyes fluttered open.
"Good. Focus."
She directed her eyes at him. The rest of her head had been strapped in place in case she had another seizure.
"Remember that idiotic doctor, the one with TB? Have you seen him?" He lifted her respirator mask.
Cameron's eyes went wide and she started gasping for air.
"Have you seen him since he left the hospital?"
"Yes," she gasped.
"House!" Foreman yelled, beating on the locked door.
"Cameron, look at me. How long ago did you see him?"
"House, stop it!" Chase ordered through the glass. They managed to get the door open and rushed House but he beat them back with his cane.
Cameron's breath came in short rasps. "Six…months. Back…for more…meds," she answered finally.
House nodded and replaced her oxygen mask, much to everyone's relief. "He came back too soon. Idiot gave the pills away. Start her on a tuberculosis meds."
"She has tuberculosis?" Izzie asked, her confusion mirroring that of everyone else.
"The tests were negative," Webber reminded him.
"That's because she doesn't have TB," he answered. "It's tuberculosis meningitis. It wouldn't show up on regular TB or meningitis tests. Do the CSF again. This time use a polymerase chain reaction."
No one moved. "What're you waiting for? Her to die? Go!"
Foreman led the interns away. Chase, however, didn't budge. He was glaring at House.
"You bastard. How could you? She trusted you. You took away her oxygen."
"I had to know if she saw him. You know that and so does she. Why do you care so much all of a sudden? Are you channeling Cameron's compassion while she's out?" House paused and then smirked. "You love her."
The Seattle Grace staff, expecting a blowout of epic proportions, quickly excused themselves, shutting the door as they left.
Chase stammered a denial that only made House's smirk grow.
"Oh, just admit it, you wuss!" He collapsed into a chair and burst out into laughter – real laughter – for the first time in God knows how long.
Chase shifted uncomfortably, chuckling a little. Slowly, he built up to full-out hysterics, falling into the chair beside House.
"Why are we laughing?"
House giggled. "I have no idea."
"Fair enough."
After several minutes, the fits had, for the most part, subsided. House glanced over at Chase. "Remember who signs your paychecks."
"Cuddy?"
"I was being metaphorical, moron. Lemme dumb it down: tell anyone about this and you're doing my clinic hours until Jesus comes back."
Chase held up his right hand. "Swear to God."
"Wait, shouldn't you use your left hand?"
The other man shot him a questioning look.
"You're Australian. Even the toilets are retarded."
Chase rolled his eyes and lifted his other hand, too. "I'm not gonna tell. Mostly because you scare me."
"Good. Gotta protect my street cred."
Neither one noticed Cameron grinning a few feet away. My boys, she thought. Total losers and completely adorable.
---x---x---
Sorry for the longer than usual wait. I've been volunteering at a camp and planning my Sweet Sixteen. I'm only gonna do one more chapter, just to wrap things up. I hope you all like how it's ending up. Lemme know what things you want to make sure are resolved and I'll do my best to do so. Thanks everyone!