Siblings and Quibblings.
Punchline.
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Chapter Summary: Norway goes to the market and leaves Sweden with the task of keeping Denmark out of trouble. In hindsight that was a stupid idea.
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Note: This fanfiction takes place roughly during the late Iron Age or the migration period. (Roughly around y400-700. Basically, just before the Vikings). They be Smol Beans. However, to avoid confusion l will still call them by their modern nation names in Hetalia.
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While Denmark liked to claim he was the oldest, he certainly wasn't the most responsible of their trio. Denmark had a kind and big heart, sure, but if you asked Norway his brother had more muscles than brain. Thus it usually fell onto Norway's shoulders to do the trading during the market days, to make sure they actually got what they needed rather than everything which caught the Dane's eye. Sometimes Sweden went to the market instead, but more often than not it was Norway's task since he didn't actually mind doing it. Besides, while Sweden never complained, it wasn't difficult to tell how much Sweden disliked big crowds of people – something which was sure to appear during the market days when several villages gathered together to sell and trade their excess.
"Everything prepared?"
"Mm, just need to check I packed all the tools I made for you to sell."
Norway glanced past their dear horse Hvítta's muzzle towards the last saddle bag Sweden had packed to the brim with beautifully crafted tools of all kinds. Not for the first time Norway was thankful for Sweden's skilled hands and creative mind. Despite how all three of them were already older than the majority of the village elders in their lands, they didn't look much older than the humans' toddlers - which made it difficult to do too much physical work when humans were nearby while still keeping a low profile. It was also why they usually settled a bit further away into the forests or mountains and only really went into the villages for the market days. However, Sweden's crafts and tools were easy to sell for a good coin, and if anyone asked where Norway got the tools he could just cover up their existence by saying he was selling them for their father.
"If those aren't all of the tools we can always trade the rest next time, Sví. This will be more than enough to eat like chiefs for the next weeks, and it's always good to have a bit of a buffer for next time."
"Mm, true," Sweden hummed back and fastened the last strap securely.
"I'll likely be gone for the next 2-3 days. Assume I got into trouble if I take longer."
"Mm. Which one of the villages are you going to this time?"
"The nearby one by the fjord."
"… Which one?"
"The one with the only decent boats."
"I like that one."
"I know," Norway snorted in amusement and swiftly mounted the saddle when Sweden took a step away from Hvítta.
"Remember to keep an eye on Denmark if you go down to our village. He will anger the wrong person and get punched in the face."
"Sure, I would love to see Denmark get punched in the face."
"Try again."
"Fine. I'll stop Denmark from getting punched in the face," Sweden sighed dramatically, but Norway could tell he was silently laughing.
However, seeing as Sweden had always been completely unaffected by Norway's unamused glare, Norway ultimately decided his younger brothers only had themselves to blame if they actually managed to get themselves into trouble while he was away.
"Start packing while I'm gone. Dan is growing restless, so we might as well begin to travel south again before the winter hits the mountains."
"Mm," Sweden agreed. "See you soon."
With those words they waved goodbye and Norway begun the slow ride down what he had since long dubbed his mountain, while Sweden walked back into their shared house to wake up Denmark for the day.
The path down the mountain was harsh, but Norway loved every second of being alone with his thoughts and horse for a while. Truth to be told Denmark was not the only one who was beginning to grow restless, so a trip to the market was just what Norway needed to calm his steadily growing itch for the sea.
His mood spirits only continued to rise when the market day went even better than expected – he was able to sell off all the crafts and tools before the end of the first day – and was then able to buy everything they needed for a fair price. For some of the profit Norway was even able to buy Sweden a better pair of protective gloves to use for his crafting, while Denmark got a thicker tunic and robe to keep him warm in the upcoming winter. Goddesses knew Denmark already complained enough about the "cold" in the pleasant autumn air anyway.
Norway's good mood lasted all the way back home to the house, only to plummet like a stone in a landslide the moment he came close enough to see Denmark sit outside fuming on the stone stairstep leading up to their house with his arms crossed over his chest and an impressive blackeye covering almost half of his face.
Clenching his teeth Norway immediately dismounted Hvítta and led her the last bit.
"Denmark."
Denmark's head immediately snapped up at the call of his name, quickly followed by his entire body the moment he saw Norway.
"Nor, Sweden punched me in the face!"
"What?"
Inside the house a thunderous crash was heard as something was dropped (or thrown) to the ground, quickly followed by Sweden throwing the door open with a furious roar and an impressive black eye of his own.
"You tattletale, you told me to punch you!"
"Not in the face!"
"Maybe you should have dodged better then!"
Norway, beyond the point of patience, grinded his teeth together while cursing the idiocy of his family.
"Denmark. Why did you tell Sweden to punch you in the face?"
"I wanted to go down to the village, but Sví was a complete bore about it and said he would have to go with me to make sure I didn't end up in a fight!"
Norway told me to keep an eye on you!"
"So naturally I told him I was way too awesome to get into a fight! Why would anyone even want to fight me!?" Denmark continued loudly, either choosing to ignore - or not hearing - Sweden darkly commenting: "Want a list?"
"Besides, even if they started a fight I would have been able to dodge any punch they threw at me! Sví, the total bore that he is, didn't believe me - so naturally I told him to try it!"
"So. Then Sweden punched you in the face?"
"Yes!"
"I was aiming for your chest! Not my fault you're idiotic enough to try and dodge a punch to the chest by ducking!"
"Who the hell even punches someone in the chest!?"
"Someone who tries to avoid the face!"
Norway took a moment to look up at sky and take a deep breath.
"And considering Sweden's own black eye, you then punched him back?" Norway directed towards Denmark, already knowing the answer but wanted the confirmation anyway.
"It was reflex!"
"Like hell it was!"
"… Alright," Norway breathed out. "New rule! Sweden, if Denmark tells you to punch him again, ignore him. Denmark, don't tell Sweden to punch you unless you're prepared for the possibility of getting hit. If any of you break the rule you're sleeping outside for the night and Hvítta gets your bed. Any questions?"
His brothers didn't stop sending each other dark glares, but ultimately stayed quiet at the threat of their horse getting their beds.
"Good."
As Norway then saw smoke slowly begin to wift out from their house the itch to take a nice and long trip to the sea, alone, by himself, had never been stronger than before.
"Now, please don't tell me that's our dinner which is currently burning."
Considering the way Sweden's eyes almost comically widened before he rushed inside with colourful curses leaving his mouth, there was no such luck. Indeed, a trip to the sea - alone - sounded wonderful right now.
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. [The End] .
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(A/N) : "Write a short snippet," I said. "This random idea won't take long," I thought, then spent hours researching what a horse nose is called in English(muzzle), when horses even arrived to Scandinavia (Fjord Horse, at least 2000+ years ago in Norway) and when saddles were invented.
[From what I can tell the first more modern-looking saddles were made in China around 200BC, and at least by 100BC they had reached the Romans. So I'm gonna take a gander and say Scandinavia had saddles by the time y400-700 arrived. Sorry if that's not correct, horse historians.]
I'm still not entirely sure when they began to actively use coins more frequently in Scandinavia instead of simply trading, but I know they at the very least used them by the time the Viking age rolled around, so at this point I'll just run with it. This has already been way too much research for my random 1am fanfiction idea anyway. x'D
Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed this "short snippet". I have a lot of fun with writing sibling idiocy. x) /Jezz.
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