A/N: Hi guys, sorry but updates will be kinda slow for the unforeseeable future. I got a new job and I'm still finding my way into it (wish me luck). But I got a few chapters prepared in advance and kiminicricket does a great job betareading them for me. So, there are still a few chapters of Masks, PoR and one chapter of PEA ready to be published. I hope that once I settled into my job, I can pick up writing a little bit again.
As for this chapter, everyone mentioned in this chapter is from Thorne's side story in Stars Above, 'The Carswell Guide to Being Lucky'. I needed a gang and since I can't use Cinder, Kai & Co. (who are all over the world, being superheroes), I had to come up with a new one. I made up their personalities, so I hope you enjoy them even if it's not our usual TLC crew.
Enjoy and please take time to review. I promise you every review motivates me to write. :)
Cress flinched as she gingerly closed the last button on the high collar of her dress. If she placed her short, wavy hair right and maybe used one of her colourful scarves, then hopefully no one would notice the glaring bruises on her neck. She was sure she could hide them from the people at the baby party but from Thorne? He would surely notice. If not the bruises then her blood-shot eyes, her careful movements, and scratchy voice.
Cress healed faster than the average person but it would still take at least two days until she recovered from her fight with Ran. Even hacking into the police's database and falsifying their findings ever so slightly had zapped her of more strength than usual. She dreaded keeping up with the police's progress for the weeks to come but she had made that promise to Wolf and she would try her best to ensure that no one would ever find out who the omega had been.
Right now, she would give anything to crawl into bed and just rest and let the painkillers she had taken work their magic. But she couldn't get out of the baby shower without raising questions from Thorne.
"Cress? Are you ready?" Thorne called from down the hallway.
Her throat ached with the effort it took to raise her voice. "Just a minute."
"What?"
Cress huffed in annoyance. Talking in her normal voice already hurt, yelling was out of the question. She didn't answer a second time, instead she looked around for a scarf in one of her drawers.
The door to the bedroom opened behind her and Thorne's head popped in. "Hey, are you ready to go?"
Tired and injured, Cress snapped. "I told you I would be there in a minute!" The sharp tone pained her damaged vocal cords and Cress dissolved into a coughing fit. Every cough shook her, tears forming at the corner of her eyes. It took her a few moments to calm down and only then did she notice Thorne rubbing circles around her back. It was a futile gesture but Cress was too weak to fight it.
When it was over, Thorne took her in his arms and Cress allowed herself to lean against him.
"Is everything alright? Are you sick?" She could hear the worry in his voice as his hand felt her forehead. "No fever, that's good."
"I'm fine. Just got something stuck down my throat," she said sharply. Before he could question her further, she turned around and grabbed the scarf, wrapping the thin fabric skillfully around her neck to hide her bruises. The colourful floral print toned down the severity of the dress, giving it a much more casual look. She had only picked the dress because of its high-collar, though it was probably a bit formal for a baby shower.
When she caught a glance of Thorne in the mirror, he looked uncomfortably at everything but her, his hand scratching at the back of his neck. Cress felt a flicker of regret. He had done nothing wrong but she was using every bit of energy just to keep it together.
Still, she couldn't behave like that at the baby shower. She needed to push through the pain. Cress plastered a smile on her face and turned to Thorne. "I'm feeling better now. We should hurry or we're going to be late."
Thorne eyed her for a few seconds but eventually nodded. If he wasn't convinced by her sudden change, he didn't comment on it. Instead, he smiled too and together, they left.
"Are you crazy, man?" Anthony hardly welcomed Cress and Thorne, too distracted by the huge gift basket Thorne was holding with some difficulty. "Did you buy the whole store? Look at this, it's too big to fit through the door!"
"Har-di-har," Thorne huffed but struggled with the weight. "Now move out of the way so I can set it down."
Anthony moved aside but Thorne still needed to turn the basket so it would fit through the door. Maybe they had overdone it just a bit with the gifts, Cress thought.
"Really, this is way too much, Cress. You shouldn't have bought so many things." Anthony hugged her while Thorne walked into the living room where he was greeted from the other guests. Cress could hear them make room for him and help him set up the basket.
"Oh, you know how it is. When we were at the store, there were so many beautiful things and well, we couldn't resist. We just got excited, I guess."
"Okay, well, thank you then." He helped her out of her jacket but Cress made sure to keep her scarf on. "Carina is upstairs feeding the baby but she should be down soon. Can I offer you something? No alcohol"—He looked dismayed at that—"but we have non-alcoholic beer, sodas, and juices. We've got that grape juice you like, I'll get you a glass."
Cress followed him into the living room, a pit forming in her stomach. Meeting new people and starting conversations was difficult for her. She had gained some confidence since she got her superpowers, but it didn't often carry over to her normal life as Cress. She was glad that Thorne was with her. He had no trouble talking to anyone who crossed his path.
Already, he was joking when she entered the room and Cress was relieved to see a few familiar faces - well, except for Blakely who was just done hugging Thorne and did her best to give Cress a fake smile.
Cress could have really done without that familiar face.
"Did you rob the store, Thorne?" Chien cackled. "Hey, Cress." He waved a hand which held a fork but didn't make any attempts to stand up. Instead he shoveled potato salad into his mouth, engrossed with the food.
Thorne's hand found her lower back, a bit more at ease now. Their walk to the Kennards had been short but tense. "Why does everyone say it's too big? It's perfectly sized. Ask Cress, the lady at the store assured us it was a fairly common size for a gift basket."
"Did you ever consider she just wanted to sell you that huge-ass gift basket?"
"Language, Chien," Blakely hissed, flicking her hair over her shoulder.
"Oh, please, Blakely, where are we, in pre-school?" Anthony entered, carrying a glass with grape juice for Cress and offered a non-alcoholic beer to Thorne with shrug.
Thorne raised an eyebrow. "Judging from the choice of beverages, it certainly feels like it." He still took a few sips.
Anthony sent him an amused glare. "I was told in no uncertain terms that if Carina couldn't have any alcohol, neither could anyone else. And believe me, you don't want to break the rules Carina set up." He turned to Cress. "I can't wait for you to see my boy. Be prepared to meet the fattest baby ever."
Cress was unsure if he was joking but Blakely chimed in. "Oh, that is not true, Anthony! How can you say that? He is the most beautiful baby. Such a darling. I saw him at the hospital and he was just the cutest. Did you already see him, Thorne?"
"Unfortunately, I was a bit busy. We both were." He gave Cress's hip a squeeze and while she usually delighted in his touch (and not-so-subtle way of telling Blakely to back off), he was dangerously close to her bruised hip. She adjusted herself slightly in his arms.
Blakely pursed her lips when she saw where Thorne's hand was. "Well, I just had to come as soon as possible and see him. I'm never too busy for my friends."
"Thank you, Blakely," Anthony said amiably. He turned to Cress and Thorne. "I'm a really bad host. Let me hit you up with some food ... before you meet my fat baby."
They followed him into the kitchen, greeting Rob and Ryan as they made their way into the living room with plates full of food. They ran into a woman Cress didn't know but who introduced herself as Kate Fallow. Nice, if quiet, Cress took an instant liking to her. She had brought puff pastries and a cake, which made Cress realize that she had forgotten the brownies she had intended to bring. She hoped the gift basket was enough to hide the fact that Cress and Thorne forgot to bring anything edible.
"As you know, whatever you need just take it. The fridge is yours."
"Thanks Anthony." Thorne filled a plate for himself and helped Cress with hers. "So, how is it being a dad? Kid keeping you up at night?" He asked, chewing on a piece of bread.
"Everything's fine. Who needs sleep, right?" Anthony joked.
"Do you have a name for him yet?" Cress asked. So far, she hadn't heard anyone calling the baby by name (and 'fat baby' certainly didn't count). And by now he was almost two weeks old.
Anthony grabbed a few chips, munching thoughtfully. "No, not yet. Carina and I had a few ideas and I had some really cool names picked out for him. Like Jax. Dexter. Or Kace. Just imagine: 'Kace Kennard, FBI'," he declared in a deep voice. "Something really cool, you know?"
Thorne nodded approvingly which worried Cress.
"But then he popped out and as I said, it's like a big blob. And he just doesn't look like a cool action hero. More like Carina's uncle Ainsley who was an accountant."
"But ... he won't always look like a ... big blob," Cress said in a hushed voice as if she was scared the baby could hear her. "You can't go by how he looks now."
"Yeah but really, he does look like her uncle. I held some glasses to his face and it's scary. Like a tiny fat accountant who wants me to pay my bills." He chuckled good-naturedly. "Anyway, so the cool names are out of the question. And really, you'll agree with me when you see him. He needs something really old and weird. Like ... Norwood. Or Ainsley, like Carina's uncle. Maybe even Quincy." He shuddered. "Or Carswell."
Thorne, who had just taken a sip of his beer, broke into a coughing fit.
"Woah, buddy!" Both Anthony and Cress hit on Thorne's back to help stabilize him. "You okay?"
"I'm... fine," Thorne coughed a last time. He wiped at his eyes, his whole face red. "Just got something stuck down my throat."
Cress rubbed soothingly on Thorne's back, a bit taken aback. Thorne always was very smooth and in control. With his red cheeks and wet eyes, she almost didn't recognise him. She knew he didn't like looking anything less than impeccable, so she steered Anthony's attention back to the topic at hand.
"I don't know. I don't think Carswell is too bad." Both men looked at her aghast. Thorne's eyes held a hint of suspicion that made her laugh. "Seriously! I mean, Quincy or Ainsley aren't great, and Norwood is just terrible. Seriously, Anthony, you can't do that to your child." She shrugged. "But Carswell is kinda hot."
"Oooh, careful, Thorne." Anthony cackled. "Or your wife is running off with the first Carswell that comes her way," he nudged Thorne who still looked at her in disbelief ... and was it wonder she detected? But then the door bell rang and Anthony excused himself. "Let's see who's here. If it's a Carswell, should I send him straight your way, Cress?"
Cress rolled her eyes but Anthony had already gone to greet the new guests. She focused on her food, nibbling on some puff pastry Kate had prepared. It was deliciously filled and Cress made a note to ask her for the recipe. She hardly noticed that Thorne hadn't touched his plate. He leaned casually against the kitchen counter but the way he stared at her intensely belied his indifferent body language.
"So ... Carswell, huh."
"Oh, not you too. What? It's a good name. I like it." She had no idea why they were so set against Carswell. It wasn't a name she was familiar with (she certainly didn't know any Carswells not even back when she had studied in England) but it had a nice ring to it.
Thorne leaned forward. "I didn't know that you had a thing for it, that's all." His mouth was curved in his familiar easy smile but his blue eyes had an expression she couldn't read. "Want to call me Carswell tonight?"
Cress sputtered. "Don't be weird. Why are you so hung-up on it? Because I said I like the name Carswell?" She bumped her hip against him, teasing him, "Are you jealous?"
"Of Carswell? Nah. Who would ever be jealous of a guy named Carswell?"
Cress raised her eyebrow in question but Thorne had already started to carry his plate and drink into the living room. Not in the mood to dissect Thorne's weird behaviour, she followed him.
"Oh, he's so cute, Carina," Blakely cooed, holding the baby. "You should pick a name soon."
"I know," Carina agreed with a pointed look at Anthony. "We just can't agree on the same name."
"Cress is voting for Carswell," Anthony announced with a smirk.
Usually, Cress liked Anthony and his easy humour, but today her body ached and she was exhausted, so she only had weak smile for him. She tried her best to appear okay even though shewanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed and sleep for days.
"Ew, Cress," Blakely admonished, her pretty face in a sneer. "You can't be serious, Carswell is a horrible name! Only ugly, stuffy nerds are called Carswell."
If Cress had only a weak smile for Anthony, she had even less than that for Blakely. There was a tense silence (except for an uncomfortable cough from Thorne) for a few seconds before Anthony chimed in, "Yeah, well, we can't call him 'the fat baby' forever. We would appreciate some suggestions. The one with the best name gets an actual alcoholic drink."
Rob, Ryan and Chien cheered, "Count us in," before discussing possible baby names between them.
Carina pursed her lips. "Stop calling him the fat baby. He isn't fat."
"Sure thing, darling."
"Don't 'darling' me. He isn't fat! And don't think I don't know you're saying he looks like my uncle to everyone. It's not true! Look down at your own belly and maybe consider he might just look like you," she told him with a raise of her eyebrows.
"Yep, you're absolutely right, dar—Carina." But as soon as Carina moved on to a discussion with Blakely about if the baby's name should start with 'K' like their surname. Anthony whispered conspiratorially to Cress and Thorne. "You know, I was actually quite skinny growing up but Carina as a baby? Her family put her in a watermelon costume for her first Halloween and placed her next to a real watermelon. Even the watermelon looked slim. If you don't believe me, I have the photos to prove it."
"What photos do you have?" Carina asked, her attention again on her husband.
"Just of our baby right after birth. Precious memories." He winked at Cress and Thorne. "Okay, who wants to hold the baby next?"
"I think Thorne should hold him. I'm sure he's amazing with kids."
It took a lot for Cress not to snap at Blakely who looked adoringly at Thorne as if Cress wasn't there. She usually didn't say anything when Blakely hit on Thorne, ignoring the fact that he and Cress were married. She felt uncomfortable calling Blakely out and every time, Thorne was quick to do something that made it clear whom he was in love with. Still, Blakely's shameless behaviour grated on her nerves, today moreso than usual.
Beside her, Thorne stood up, puffing out his chest. "I'll let you know, Blakely, that I'm amazing with everything and everyone. Just ask my wife. Right, Cress?"
Cress tipped her chin as if in thought. "You have your moments."
Everyone laughed and Thorne held a hand to his chest in mock-hurt. "Ouch, that hurt," earning him another round of laughter - from everyone but Blakely who just glowered in her corner of the couch.
Something about Thorne's words gave Cress pause. She could swear she had heard them before but couldn't place where. Before she could try and figure it out Thorne sat down next to Blakely (who took the opportunity to scoot way too close for Cress's liking). He gingerly took the baby in his arms.
"Careful with his head," Carina said, as if anyone would drop the baby the minute it was out of her arms.
"Careful is my middle name. Right after suave and daring," Thorne answered but didn't take his eyes off the bundle in his arms. "Well, hello there, little fellow."
He continued to babble at the child. It was too young to do much really, but he had stopped fussing and was staring up at Thorne with big eyes.
There must have been an odd expression on her face because Kate next to her leaned over to whisper, "Everything alright?"
Cress nodded but before she could say anything Chien answered for her. "Probably wants to have a baby now that she's seeing this one. She's got that look. Classic baby eyes. Run, Thorne." Chien snickered but hardly anyone else chimed in.
"That's not—," Cress started but already Kate had spoken up.
"Not every woman is just waiting to get pregnant. It's ignorant to say that."
Cress was surprised by Kate's words. She hadn't raised her voice at all but even so, her words carried through the room. But when all attention was on her, she hid her face behind some thick brown strands of hair.
Chien huffed. "Don't believe me? I've got four sisters and been to plenty baby showers. I know baby eyes when I see them."
Rob and another girl names Elia joined in the argument but it was Blakely who could be heard the clearest. "Stop it, Chien. They're too young to even think about kids yet."
That statement was met with some amusement from the guests. Thorne continued to gently cradle the bundle in his arms but Cress could see the sudden tenseness in his jaw.
Carina laughed. "Blakely, Cress and Thorne have been married for a year now. And Cress, you're what, one year younger than me?"
"I'm twenty-two, yes."
That didn't seem to satisfy Blakely at all. "Yes, but you and Anthony have been together for five years now. Thorne and Cress basically met weeks before they got married. If Cress hadn't needed the papers to get—"
"Careful, Blakely." Though his tone was soft, Thorne's voice cut through the room. He hadn't taken his eyes off the baby but his warning to Blakely was clear.
There was a short uncomfortable silence. Easy-going as he usually was, it was almost impossible to make Thorne truly angry. Even in situations where others would be mad, or at least, annoyed, he kept his composure. Cress knew he disliked open confrontation, preferring to smooth over any conflict with a joke - which bothered her like crazy during a fight. But it only confirmed how serious Thorne was now when Blakely questioned the relationship between him and Cress and it warmed Cress to the core.
"I didn't mean, you know ... I just wanted to say—" Blakely sputtered but Thorne interrupted her smoothly by talking to the baby again.
"What is it, Mr. Kennard Jr.? You have urgent business to discuss with your mother? I certainly will refer you to her right this second." He offered Carina the baby who cradled it happily, only too glad to have her son back. Until...
"Oh, who's got a full smelly diaper?" She excused herself, though not without a glare at Thorne. "I thought you were so cute just now but you just wanted me to take care of the diaper, right?"
Thorne winked at her. "Yep. But you thought I was cute and that's all that matters."
The tension was broken and everyone started to chat while Carina took care of the baby. Cress played with the necklace Thorne had given her, lost in thought.
She knew without a doubt that she had no baby eyes, as Chien called it. Blakely was right about how quickly Thorne and Cress had gotten married and they were still navigating being together. But it had been the right decision, one that shouldn't be questioned by anyone, least of all Blakely.
No, Cress wasn't worried about having baby eyes. She was worried about Thorne having them.
Maybe not now but soon. He was a normal guy, with a normal job and as far as he knew, they both led a very normal life. He didn't know about his wife's double-life, the dangers she was getting herself into just to be a hero worthy of her powers.
A mediocre hero at best.
It wasn't fair to Thorne, the secrets she was keeping from him. Not to mention that if anyone were to find out who Satellite truly was they would try to find her, hurt her and, in the process, find Thorne and hurt him too. He was in as much danger as she was, and he didn't even know about it. He had no way to defend himself.
But as Satellite, she also couldn't plan for a normal life that included children. How could she be a superhero and a mom? Being a superhero and a wife was already difficult enough.
For now, she knew the topic of children wasn't on the table. But who knew how long that would last?
"You were quiet tonight." It was the first thing Thorne had said since they arrived at home. It might have to do with Cress snapping at him sharply for the better part of the last half an hour, so he had left her mostly alone at the Kennards. Which had been exactly what she had wanted then. "Everything alright?"
"Mhm-hm." Weary to the bone, Cress was barely holding herself up. Every bit of strength had left her and she wanted nothing more than to fall into bed but now she realised that changing into her pyjamas would require even more excuses so he wouldn't spot the marks on her throat. She had no choice, she had to pretend to be sick. "I just don't feel very well." Her voice cracked a bit which sold her lie even better.
Thorne, who had carefully kept his distance from her tonight, slowly stepped closer, the slightest hint relief washing over his face. "I thought so. You should have stayed at home, resting."
But when he tried to reach out to her, Cress evaded his touch, grabbed her pajamas from her side of the bed and made her way to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Slowly, she changed clothes, every muscle in her body aching. She left the scarf on, so it might look like she had a sore throat. Eyes already drooping, she just stumbled out of the bathroom. Thorne wasn't in their bedroom anymore Cress noticed as she let herself fall into bed, her body overtaken by exhaustion.
There was no way of knowing how long she had slept but suddenly she was aware of someone softly brushing hair from her face. It was a soothing touch.
Cress cracked an eye open. Thorne sat on her side of the bed, but it was dark so she only saw his shadow. "I didn't want to wake you."
Making sure that the scarf was still hiding her bruises, Cress sat up groggily. "What time is it?"
"Half past twelve."
But Cress had already looked up the time in her mind. She also pulled up the documents on the omega, making sure to alter their DNA results slightly so they wouldn't match with whoever Ran had been before. She also checked her alert on Captain who had the most successful raid in New York so far while she had been occupied with the wolf mutant. Two museums, two antique shops and one jewellery store.
Cress rubbed her eyes. "Why are you still up?"
It wasn't unusual for either of them to stay up late but she had expected him to be asleep next to her already. Or maybe he had left to have some peace and quiet. Cress had treated him badly today, snapping at him for no reason. She wouldn't blame him if he stayed in the living room, watching TV so he could avoid another snappy remark by her.
But Thorne's voice was kind when he replied, "I just wanted to check in on you. And I went and bought a few things. Chicken broth, some fruit, tissues, a few meds. Stuff like that. Whatever you might need tomorrow to get better soon."
And just like that, Cress burst into tears.
Heavy sobs shook her body that was still hurting. Thick, hot tears streamed down her face, her throat burning with every shaken breath.
The events of the day came crashing down in one second, the fight against the wolf mutant, the panic of almost dying at his hands, the bruises on her body, the baby shower where she had to keep up appearances, Blakely, Captain whom she just couldn't stop.
But more than anything, she felt so ashamed for the way she had treated Thorne today. And he still went and bought anything one could need to treat a cold. Because he thought she was sick - one of the many lies Cress had told him over the last year and a half.
Strong arms embraced her, drawing her close to Thorne's warmth. He rocked her gently, kissing the top of her head. He didn't say anything, didn't ask, just held her in his arms. Cress smelled the fresh scent of fabric softener and Thorne's skin, warm and familiar.
He deserved so much better than her.
A wife who wasn't lying to him at every point and turn at least. And for what? For proving herself to be a mediocre superhero with lame powers? If she really made a difference, if she could catch Captain and actually defeat any bad guy that came her way it would make it worth it, or at least understandable. But as it was?
Her sobs quietened down to mere sniffles but neither Cress nor Thorne moved.
"I'm sorry, Thorne."
"For what?"
Her fingers played with the soft hair at the back of Thorne's neck. "I was mean to you today. Horrible, really." She knew that was only half the truth, but it was all she could offer to him.
Thorne laughed, his stubble tickling her ear. "Yeah, you were."
"Hey!" Cress moved away from him a little, rubbing her tears away. "You weren't supposed to agree."
"Just kidding." He pressed a quick kiss to her temple. "You weren't horrible but I knew something was off. I'm just glad you weren't mad at me for some reason."
Cress huffed but didn't say anything. On the night cabinet she spotted a box of tissues, probably brought by Thorne. She took one and blew her nose, rolling her eyes when Thorne made a face.
"Cress?"
"Hm?" She crumpled the tissue and threw it somewhere. She was sick, she was allowed to be a bit messy. And she was allowed to cuddle close to her husband as much as he wanted, not caring about leaving unladylike fluids on his shirt.
"I just wondered ... was there anything else?"
"What do you mean?"
She could feel his fingers trail the length of her spine. "Just ... are you just cranky—"
"Not cranky," Cress pouted playfully.
"Noted. Are you just not as charmingly cute as usual because of your cold? Or is anything else the matter?"
Cress thought to her fight with the wolf mutant, her unsuccessful ways of dealing with Captain and her generally less than impressive superhero career. Cress decided this would be her last lie. "No. Nothing's the matter."
And it would be, she swore to herself. She was done being a superhero. No more lies, no more patrolling at odd hours, no more fights she would lose or futile attempts to get her father's research papers back from Captain.
No more Satellite.