MIRIALLIA: GUILT

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She didn't know what possessed her to walk towards the prison cell, carrying a tray of food. Perhaps it was her duty as a member of the crew to take food to him, perhaps she felt sorry for him that everyone else seemed to have forgotten that he was there, or perhaps it was guilt.

Guilt because she had tried to take his life, and ended up injuring him.

What's wrong, did your good-for-nothing Natural boyfriend go and die on ya or something?

Those words had made her blood boil. How dare he talk about Tolle like that! Anger and grief had overtaken her as she reached for a knife.

Why did you stop me! You're just like me, you're the same!

No, I'm not the same as you.

She didn't know she had it in her. She shook her head, trying to clear her conscience that she did not attack him simply because he was different, because he was a Coordinator.

It, it wasn't me.

She gasped a little at his words, his face full of apology.

From then on, she brought him food. She had mixed feelings about this guy, and when she told him that he was free to go, she had felt both relief and sadness.

Why was she sad to let him go? Could she really like this, this idiot? No! She was still mourning Tolle, her heart reminded her.

But when she saw the beam protecting them coming from the Buster, she felt confused as her heart leapt a little.

Why did you come back?

As they got to know each other, she felt guilt once again. Guilt from knowing that she was not supposed to fall for him, guilt because she still loved Tolle, that she wasn't supposed to be over him yet.

She was torn, between her guilty conscience and her desire to love again.

He was so different, completely opposite of her sweet, gentle Tolle. He was arrogant, rude, immature, and often made her angry. But for some reason, he brought a certain happiness to her heart.

She wanted to be happy, but her conscience would not let her, because she was not supposed to be happy. The guilt within her grew as she found herself liking him more and more, threatening to crush her.

But you know, Tolle-kun would want you to be happy and to move on.

The older woman's words struck her, woke her, and forced her to open her eyes and look at things from a different perspective. Perhaps she was making up excuses, but it didn't matter, because it lifted the guilt from her heart, and she had felt free, free because she could try to be happy again.

We can't go back and change the past, so why not try our best to be happy in the future.