Chapter 8: Dis-Understood Delirium
Disclaimer: See Chapter 7, smart ones. Oh, and I don't own any "The Little Rascals" stuff, too. Oh, and, don't own any POTC, or POTC 2 material either. But you should know that... :D
Arya turned around, muttering at the amazement of Eragon's sheer GENIUS.
(Genius being an offending statement.)
Eragon rolled his head back and forth on HIS rock in a state of wild delirium, pounding the stones around him and chanting, "Rocky, rocky, rocky, want to get OUT OF ROCKY! BAD ROCKY! ERAGON STUCK IN ROCKY!"
Eragon's eyes opened for a moment, understanding suddenly enlightening him, and bellowed, "BAD, BAD, ROCKY! ROCKY, ROCKY, ROCKY! ERAGON NO LIKE BAD ROCKY! ERAGON LIKE GOOD ROCKY! "
Eragon paused,
"SAPHIRA GOOD ROCKY! ERAGON LIKE SAPHIRA! ROCKY, ROCKY, ROCKY! ERAGON NO LIKE BAD ROCKY!"
Incensed, Eragon's pounding took up a wilder rhythm, and he was nearly screaming, "ROCKY, ROCKY, ROCKY! ERAGON NO LIKE ROCKY! ROCKY MUST DIE!"
Arya looked round at this fierce pronouncement, alarm flickering in her eyes.
Orik stopped his search for a massive branch in which he could lever Eragon out of the pile of rocks, and looked over in fear at the infuriated Rider.
Arya, afraid of adding fuel to Eragon's wild fury, whispered, "Eragon..."
Eragon was pounding the rocks so hard that when Arya saw his hands lift up for another blow, bruises dotted his fists.
Eragon started chanting in a lounder, more strained voice, "DIE, DIE, DIE! DIE, DIE, DIE! DIE, DIE, DIE!"
His voice echoed, bouncing off the offending rock, the offending tree, the offending elf, the offending dwarf, the offending cliff, the offending forest, the offending land, the offending, offending...
Saphira raised her head in the general direction of Eragon's shout, which reached her both physically and mentally, Oh, no! Why haven't those two gotten him out yet!
Saphira gave two, great flaps of her wings, sweeping the pine needles and leaves covering the forest floor everywhere.
She took off, a great blue arrow in the night sky...
Eragon's shouts reached a climax, and, his body on fire with pain, used it to fuel his magic.
Arya, as if in slow motion, ran toward Eragon, shouting,
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Orik grabbed a branch, then thinking of the uselessness of it, dropped it and ran as fast as his stubby legs could carry him, shouting,
"WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
The tree yelled,
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The rocks yelled,
"MOE! (CURLY AND LARRY), AND MOE!"
Sixty miles away, (Now you know why Arya was angry, sixty miles is a PAIN!), Angela snapped open a pickle seed, and got squirted with it's foul smelling and tasting pus.
She shrieked in anger, for the pickle seed burned her skin, and shouted,
"GROSS!"
Saphira beat her wings faster, hearing the shrieking cries from not so far away.
She turned her head toward Angela shrieking, and muttered to herself, Silly human. Doesn't she know that pickle seeds are entirely useless everywhere, including this fanfiction?
She looked up, shooting an accusatory glance at the sky.
The authoress was snoozing in her bed, a laptop lying open on her legs.
She jumped, and read what she had written, and grabbed the pickle seeds sitting in a jar behind her and started to snack on them.
"Yum. I love pickle seeds."
She thought for a moment on words rhyming with, 'O', and excitedly stood up, upsetting the jar of pickle seeds, and shouted, "I'VE GOT IT! "
A disappointed look crossed her face and she sat hurriedly down, saying, "No, wait , I don't got it."
She stared into space, then a bizarre look came over her features, and she crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue.
She grabbed the jar of pickle seeds, and began to do a little victory dance, singing,
"I GOT A PICKLE, I GOT A PICKLE, I GOT A PICKLE, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!"
She looked down, grabbed some pickle seeds, and popped them in her mouth, crunching them sporadically and frequently.
A dreamy look came over her face, and she stood there, munching on her pickle seeds.
Saphira stopped in mid-flight, and shouted angrily upwards, ARE YOU DONE YET?
The authoress glared down at her laptop, and shouted just as loud, "NOT YET!"
A trace of glee came into her voice.
Saphira groaned and put her claws on her head, NO, NO, NO! WE'LL BE STUCK HERE ALL NIGHT!
The authoress frowned, saying down into the laptop, "Technically speaking, it's still light out. So, you'll be here all day."
Saphira moaned and shouted, SAME DIFFERENCE!
The authoress' frowned deepened, "Same difference? BUT THERE IS NO SAME DIFFERENCE!"
Saphira gritted her razor sharp teeth together, making grinding noises aggressive enough to scare off an avalanche, or maybe someone's late night snoring.
It's just a saying. Stop using logic, and get GOING already!
The authoress whimpered, "But I'm not a literal thinker. I can't think literally. I'm a logically literal thinker. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Saphira looked with apprehension at the sky, Oh No!
All that happened was a downpour of pickle seeds, (the authoress spilled them, AGAIN!) in which Angela, sixty miles away, became increasingly furious and started screaming curses at the sky.
Whew, glad that's over, Saphira glided around the treetops, anxious to find her rider.
"Oh no you don't, " The authoress muttered, picking up the pickle seeds, "I'm telling the story."
The author turned on the T.V., and promptly forgot about Saphira in the excitement of the football game.
Glad to say, her team won.
"WA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the authoress shouted, glee making her dance in circles until she was dizzy around the room.
The authoress' sister came in, took one look at the screen, and at her sister dancing, and walked away, muttering, "What a WEIRDO!"
The authoress took no notice, and grabbed the jar of pickle seeds, holding them above her head in triumph, "TOUCHDOWN!"
She slammed the jar of pickle seeds, as if imitating a football, on the floor, where they burst everywhere, scattering under all the hard to reach places.
The authoress gasped in horror, frantically searching through the ruined seeds, "Where is it? Where's the thump-thump?"
The authoress then paused, "HEY, WAIT A MINUTE..."
She sat back against the couch and crossed her arms over her chest, a pouty expression covering her face, and said, "I want my jar of pickle seeds."
Saphira sighed in relief, circling lower and lower.
Finally, she spotted it.
A great rock pile, jutting out of the earth like some sort of ear, but in pyramid shaped form.
A figure was lying prone, stuck in the hole on the top of the rock pyramid.
Two other figures were frantically scrambling up the craggy rocks.
Saphira beat her wings faster, and faster, summoning the ball of fire in the back of her throat...
"Brisingr!" Eragon screeched, at the same time as Saphira hurled gallons of fire at the rock from her maw.
Saphira quickly stopped the fire, seeing that it was Eragon, and safely crashed into some small trees rooted innocently nearby.
Arya and Orik were lifted and thrown away from the path of Eragon's fire.
The rocks exploded everywhere, and Eragon, finding that he no longer had a bunch of rocks to support him, said, suddenly exhausted, softly, "Oh."
He dropped out of the sky.
Saphira, battling the furious inactive trees, wasn't there to catch him...
...As he fell onto a soft bed of kernels, and collapsed, motionless...
(A/N): R&R...NOW! Pleaseandthankyou.