(The following conversation is based on the CW Crisis on Infinite Earths Part 1 episode revealing the creative processes that went into its script. As it happens, the transcript of that conversation was leaked and now available to the public)

In a bland conference room, Kara, Alex, Brainiac 5, Hank, and Lena sat at a table with scripts in front of them. The screenwriter and producer sat across from them on the other side of the table. "So, we've invited you all here to get your thoughts on the Crisis script. Please be as candid as possible. Your feedback is most appreciated," the producer told them.

"I don't have time for this crap. I got worlds to save and...," Kara said and then noticed a staff member put a plate full of crullers in front of her. Kara stared at the crullers wide-eyed and stopped her protest.

"So, we think we should start the episode off with a bang. We're thinking Spike the dragon," the screenwriter said to them.

"Already blowing our budget in the first five minutes, I see," Lena said as she crunched the numbers.

"Cool," Kara said pleased as she stuffed a cruller into her face. "Will there be fireballs?"

"Yes, but no one will be killed. Spike is a good dragon, after all. He's just scared because of the incoming Crisis," the producer said. "It's foreshadowing, basically."

"Wait, did Oliver not warn us about the Crisis weeks ago?" Alex asked confused.

"Uh, he did not," the screenwriter answered.

"That bastard," Alex said displeased.

"Well, I knew. I've watched every Arrow episode," Kara said nonchalantly.

"You bring up important shit like that," Alex scolded her.

"We're also bringing in Wil Wheaton as an 'End of Days' protestor that Supergirl will save from Spike," the producer brought up.

"Who?" Hank wondered.

"He's that annoying-ass kid from Star Trek Next Generation," Alex told him.

"Nerd!" Kara mocked her.

"He'll be saying something along the lines of no one can save you to everyone around him. But then Supergirl saves him...so yeah," the screenwriter said.

"So, I'm basically God now," Kara said pleased.

"I wouldn't go that far," the screenwriter told her. "So, in the next scene, it will be at the DEO where Barney here will exposition about a world-wide earthquake."

"What's causing the earthquake?" Brainiac 5 asked.

"The incoming anti-matter wave," the screenwriter said.

"Anti-matter is particles, not waves," Brainiac 5 corrected.

"Well, it acts as energy that threatens the entire universe," the screenwriter said.

"But it's not energy, it's matter. It only causes energy when it reacts to matter," Brainiac 5 said to him. "And where is this anti-matter coming from?"

"It's like everywhere moving across the whole universe," the screenwriter told him.

"Going at what speed?" Even at light-speed, it would take 92 billion years to go from one side of the universe to the other and that's not even possible because the universe is expanding faster than the speed of light," Brainiac 5 said.

"Well, it's based off the comic, so there," the screenwriter said defensively.

"So, this is going to be faithful to the epic 1985 Crisis comic? That is so cool," Alex said thrilled.

"Well, faithful in some areas. It's more like 10% faithful, 90% whatever we want," the producer said to her.

"If we're going to pick and choose what parts of the comic we are adapting, wouldn't it be prudent to be as scientific as possible?" Brainiac 5 asked.

"We need the Earth destroyed in a dramatic way," the screenwriter said to them.

"How much time do we have to prepare for the wave? I mean, it sounds like it's already at our doorstep," Alex said concernedly.

"A day," the screenwriter shrugged.

"I'm sorry. This sounds like bullshit," Kara mocked.

"Look, we'll put in some ironic dialogue on how this is all impossible. We'll have exposition man, Barney, do it," the screenwriter said and began furiously writing dialogue in the margins.

"I want a dramatic entrance," Hank demanded.

"Sure," the producer agreed.

Brainiac turned the page on the script. "Wait, I don't know who the Monitor is?"

"No, he needs to be explained to you because you weren't at the last crossover," the screenwriter said.

"But I know everything," Brainiac 5 said confused.

"It's going to be okay," Kara patted him on the back. Kara then frowned as she read more. "What? You're destroying Argo? What the fuck is this? You can't do this," she said outraged.

"Honestly, we haven't done anything with it since Season 3. By destroying Argo, we can have a scene where Superman and Lois send their son off in a rocket. You see, it's like poetry, it rhymes," the screenwriter said.

"Argo is a small little speck in space. How is that Lex Luthor could target it in Season 4 and it just happens to be in the path of the anti-matter wave here? That's a little too coincidental if you ask me," Kara objected.

"We need an emotional moment from you, Kara. Having your civilization and your mother dead will bring that out of you," the screenwriter said to her.

"Are you saying I could get an Emmy for it?" Kara asked hopefully.

"Kara, this is your mother and the last of your people. How could you think about an Emmy in a time like this?" Alex scolded.

"Honestly, I forgot I even had a mom in Season 4," Kara shrugged.

"So, we good?" the producer asked.

"Yeah, fuck it," Kara threw up her hands.

"So, why does the sky turn red?" Brainiac 5 asked as he turned the page to the next scene.

"That's an indicator the anti-matter wave is approaching," the screenwriter said.

"That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works," Brainiac 5 objected.

"It creates dramatic tension," the screenwriter told him.

"Looks like I'm overdramatic again as Lyla enters the DEO. Why am I always the one to confront people when they enter the DEO unannounced?" Alex asked.

"Because you're in charge of the DEO," the screenwriter said simply.

"Can't I delegate people to guard the entrance or something?" Alex asked.

"Well, you see, you're like Captain Kirk where you're both in charge and doing all of the action scenes," the screenwriter explained.

"So, I order every available agent out in the field to figure this out," Alex read. "Will we see those agents in action?"

"No," the producer said flatly.

"So, Lyla comes in first allowing Alex to overreact and then Oliver, Mia, Batwoman, Superman, and Lois will then appear," the screenwriter said.

"Why can't they all come together?" Alex asked.

"Because we need you to overreact to Lyla. It's empowering for your character," the screenwriter replied. "Then Superman will confirm to Kara that her mother is dead as well as her entire race."

"So, as soon as I find this out, you have Batwoman punching Lyla to the face about rabbits and then Barney makes a juvenile joke about it," Kara read.

"That's right," the screenwriter replied.

"I just lost my mom and my entire people. I need time to process, to cry, to get hugs, to emote. You're ruining my moment with this and you make Batwoman look completely aloof," Kara protested.

"We need Batwoman to show that she's tough and won't take any crap even from a god-like entity like the Harbinger. We're empowering her, so to speak," the screenwriter said defensively.

"At the expense of my grief, frustration, and sadness?" Kara asked.

"Right," the screenwriter agreed.

"I find this a little tone-deaf," Alex said skeptically.

"I agree. It's like if my family was burned to death and then immediately following Kara remarked on how Agents of Liberty got away from her," Hank said.

"Yeah, I'm not okay with this scene either," Kate said.

"When did she get here?" Kara asked amazed.

"Kate, we're in charge of your character. We're speaking for you," the white straight cisgender male producer told her.

"Fuck this," Kate said walking out of the room.

There was an awkward pause. "So, moving on," the producer said impatiently.

"Lyla gives an exposition dump on the anti-matter wave and then we have Kara and Superman discussing baby Jonathon," the screenwriter said.

"We're spending a lot of time on this one baby. Aren't we trying to save the universe?" Kara wondered.

"The baby represents innocence, increases the stakes, and is very cute," the screenwriter replied. "So, then there's a scene where quantum towers rise from the surface."

"Why didn't Lyla discuss this in her briefing?" Alex asked.

"It's supposed to be a surprising reveal," the screenwriter said.

"No doubt many civilians were killed as the towers rose from the surface," Lena remarked.

"If there were, we won't see any of it. Remember, the towers are good," the screenwriter said. "Then, we have another Lyla exposition dump on the towers."

"How do the towers keep the anti-matter wave at bay?" Brainiac 5 asked.

"I don't know, quantum something," the screenwriter figured.

"How are they powered?" Brainiac 5 asked.

"How about...solar power?" the screenwriter shrugged.

"This sounds like bullshit," Kara doubted.

"It's in the comic," the screenwriter told them.

"The whole 'speaks my language' quote disturbs me seeing as how this is completely, totally, utterly, without-a-doubt preposterous," Brainiac 5 said.

"Barney, I have you say sci-fi bullshit in each and every one of these episodes. Just go with it," the screenwriter reminded him.

"Another empowerment moment with Kate, I see," Kara rolled her eyes. "You know, you can still make Kate look cool without making Ray look like an ass."

"This seems simpler," the screenwriter said.

"Barney will then exit Earth to help Lois and Sara find baby Jonathon," the screenwriter told him.

"I have no interest in this child," Brainiac 5 said to him.

"Well, we don't need you for exposition anymore so you're back to making awkward nerdy jokes with Lois and Sara," the screenwriter said to him.

"Ah, burn. You have no relevance," Kara mocked him.

"How the fuck am I supposed to get all of these alien refugee ships to carry the entire Earth's population in less than a day?" Hank asked.

"It's not important. You'll do it off-screen," the screenwriter told him.

"Is Lena really the only one that can build a trans-matter portal?" Alex asked.

"Fuck you, Alex. After three full seasons, I deserve to be in a crossover," Lena said pissed-off. "Wait...it took weeks with me scheming with Queen Rhea to build one of these things. How am I supposed to make one twice as big in less than a day?" she asked the screenwriter.

"It's not important. You'll do it off-screen," the screenwriter said dismissively.

"Looks like a cool scene with me and Superman," Kara smiled as she read the next page. "How come I'm the one reassuring Superman? Shouldn't it be the other way around since he's older and more experienced than me at this?"

"It's your show, Kara," the producer reminded her.

"Oh, right," Kara agreed.

"On the Batwoman episode in part 2, Kate will do the same to you," the screenwriter said to her. "Next, we have an Alex and Lena scene."

"Took long enough. We're at the half-way point in the episode," Alex said impatiently.

"I'm just really really grateful to be included," Lena said to the producer.

"So, the world is coming to an end...and Lena is still butthurt about being lied to. Is this for real?" Alex asked as she read the dialogue.

"The scene would be over in thirty seconds if you were both on the same page," the screenwriter shrugged.

"Everyone is going to hate Lena because of this," Alex pointed out.

"It's okay, Alex. As long as I get to be here, I'm cool with it," Lena said sacrificially.

"You only get three minutes of screen time," Alex told her.

"And I will savor every second of it," Lena said gratefully.

"Then, we have Nia and Kelly with a cameo appearance," the screenwriter continued. "We'll give Kelly the Guardian shield to block some falling debris on someone."

"So, no James?" Kara asked disappointedly.

"James agreed to only four episodes this season," the producer replied.

"You can't get him back for Crisis, not even a cameo?" Kara asked.

"No, he basically told me to go fuck myself and that he was moving back to LA," the producer frowned.

"I find it interesting that Nia didn't dream about this Crisis. I mean, isn't that her job?" Hank asked.

"It's not nearly as exciting if you all are properly prepared and ready to go for this Crisis. I prefer chaos and confusion," the screenwriter replied.

"Are we going to address the fact that I'm from the future and therefore it's impossible for us to lose?" Brainiac 5 asked.

"No," the screenwriter shook his head.

"Finally some action," Kara grinned as she read the next page.

"These shadow demons are anti-matter based?" Brainiac 5 asked.

"Sure, whatever," the screenwriter said dismissively.

"Wait, is the Anti-Monitor from the anti-matter universe or just using anti-matter for his own purposes?" Brainiac 5 asked.

There was a long awkward pause. "Yes," the screenwriter said finally.

"You don't know what the fuck you're doing, do you?" Kara chided.

"A lot of the action scenes will be cheap CGI so most of the fighting will be throwing stuff at the screen," the producer told them.

"Can't the Flash just take them all out in a split second?" Alex asked.

"He does but only at the end. We need to make sure the other characters have something to do," the screenwriter answered.

"Holy fuck, Oliver dies on my show in the first episode? A lot of people are going to be pissed," Kara laughed.

"I think it's stunning and brave, actually," the screenwriter said defensively. "It's completely unexpected, a real shocker."

"Ah, you're going for the Rian Johnson strategy," Kara realized. "So, Oliver fights alone for about a minute...and this stalls the shadow demons enough to save one billion more people."

"That's correct. His sacrifice is like a really big deal," the screenwriter said.

"That kind of implies you could evacuate an entire planet in less than ten minutes," Kara pointed out. "I mean, that's some impressive logistics."

"The main point I'm making here is that Oliver's death was not in vain...until part 3. Then, it will be in vain," the screenwriter said.

"You know what? Fuck it," Kara said tossing the script on the floor.

"And that's a wrap. So, what do you think?" the producer asked.

"I think the Anti-Monitor should make an appearance at the beginning, tell the audience what he wants, and set the stakes like Avengers Infinity War," Kara said.

"We've decided that the Anti-Monitor won't make an appearance until the end of part 2 as a cameo and not actually show himself doing anything until part 4," the producer replied.

"Maybe some minions with a personality like Avengers Infinity War?" Kara suggested.

"Nah," the producer shook his head.

"So, no villain, no minions, just a white energy wave," Alex clarified.

"Yeah," the producer nodded.

"I don't want to tell you how to do your job," Kara said condescendingly. "But it's always better to show rather than tell, alright. You could show the Anti-Monitor kicking the Monitor's ass to show how strong he is and what his mission is right off the bat in the beginning. You could show Parriah witnessing it so he can tell everyone else. You could have an Anti-Monitor defector that gives us more insight into his goals and personality. We could have scenes where characters have to choose whether a loved one dies in order to prevent the Anti-Monitor from achieving his goal. We could have a philosophical debate on whether it's okay to trade lives if it's for the common good."

"Am I talking crazy here?" Kara asked her side of the table.

"Not this time," Brainiac 5 allowed.

"Yeah...we're going to have to take a hard pass on all of that," the producer told her.

"So, what are we doing in part 2?" Alex asked.

"Only Kara and Hank will be returning for the next parts," the producer said.

"Ain't that a bitch?" Kara mocked Alex and gave Hank a hive-five.

"But I'm the smartest being in the universe," Brainiac 5 said confused.

"We'll have Lex Luthor take your role," the producer told him.

"Wait, what the fuck?" Lena wondered.

"It's complicated," the screenwriter said to her.

"And we're out of time," the producer said looking at his watch.

"This is some bullshit," Alex said displeased.

"Hey, it's cool. You know what will brighten things up? Let's go to our favorite bar and get drunk as fuck," Kara suggested.

"I'm with you on that, Supergirl," Hank agreed as they exited the conference room.

Author's Notes: This script session was inspired by the behind the scenes of Game of Thrones Season 8 when the actors clearly indicate their displeasure with the script. I don't like putting words in the actor's mouths. That's not fair to them, personally, so I have everyone still being in Adventures character. I tried to comprehensively destroy this script while making it fun at the same time. I'm never going to claim my version is the best that could possibly be written but...this was something else. The way they handled Argo's destruction was really bad and possibly the worst moment in the SG show.