By the time they finally rose, it was early afternoon. It hadn't been the plan, but when their tray filled with a late brunch got upended, sending a river of coffee and orange juice cascading over pillows and sheets, they grudgingly left their love nest.

Kathryn stripped the sodden bedclothes while Chakotay went to get new sheets and pillowcases. When the bed was remade, he stepped up behind her and kissed her neck. "I like being domestic with you."

"Better not get used to it." She turned in his arms to return his kiss. "The domestic genes all seem to have passed me by. Besides, I'm a wanderer."

"Even wanderers need base camps," Chakotay shrugged and hugged her before releasing her. "Now, what are we going to do with the rest of this beautiful day?"

Since it was once again sunny and warm, they decided to go for a walk. Kathryn wanted to see more of Chakotay's neighborhood, and he showed her some of his favorite spots.

That evening, they went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant which, according to Chakotay, served the best enchiladas he'd ever tasted. When they walked home later through the moonlit streets, Chakotay with his arm around her shoulders and Kathryn with hers around his waist, he couldn't help but note how very content he felt with her in his arms. Somehow her presence in his life brought him a measure of peace he hadn't felt since leaving his family twenty years ago. This was all the more surprising since they'd spent a total of less than two weeks in each other's presence, with a three-month gap in between. Maybe it was nothing more than hormone-induced infatuation which would fade over time, but he thought it was much more than that. He'd never quite believed in the concept of 'soulmates', but now he was tempted to revise that opinion.

Kathryn's nightmares did not return that night. On Sunday morning, they rose early to rent a boat and spent most of the day cruising up and down the coast, sunbathing and taking the occasional swim. They returned to Chakotay's apartment in the late afternoon and, still full of energy, headed right back out after a quick shower and change of clothes. Sunset found them once again close to the beach, at a small restaurant overlooking the ocean that was very reminiscent of the one where they'd had their first real date on Kelvaris.

It was over dessert that Chakotay finally dared to breach a subject he'd been thinking about for most of the weekend. Kathryn had been asking about his classes again, and he took the opportunity to suggest, "Why don't you come to campus with me tomorrow and see if you can arrange a counseling session?" Starfleet Academy and Headquarters were situated right next to each other and, in fact, shared the grounds. "We could have lunch together and I can show you my office, if you like."

Even though they weren't touching, he practically felt her tensing up. "I'm not sure if I'm ready for that," she replied, looking down.

Chakotay leaned over and placed one hand under her chin, tilting her face up until her eyes once again met his. "You know I'm here to listen, and I'll gladly offer any support I can – including a shoulder to cry on." At that, the corners of her mouth turned up slightly, just as he'd hoped. "But the fact remains that I'm no psychologist. I may be able to help you go back to sleep when you've had a nightmare, but I don't think I can provide the kind of help you need in order to put what happened behind you. Otherwise it's bound to catch up with you once you go back to the Al-Batani."

Kathryn reached up and removed his hand from under her chin. Holding it in both of hers on the table, she lightly traced the lines in his palm with her index finger. "I'm not sure if I'll be going back."

Startled, Chakotay scooted closer and gripped her hand. "Why not?"

She shrugged, making light of the situation. "I just don't want to be reminded of that... failure all the time."

He didn't agree that running from the memories would make her feel better, but he also felt that there was more she wasn't saying. "You could ask for a reassignment," he suggested, closely watching her reaction.

Kathryn shrugged again. "Maybe I will. I haven't decided."

Her seeming indifference set off a string of alarm bells in Chakotay's mind. "Kathryn, what are we really talking about here? Are you just thinking about not going back to the Al-Batani, or are you actually thinking of leaving Starfleet?"

She squirmed and tried to pull her hand from his, but he wouldn't let go. "I don't know," she finally sighed.

Chakotay was at a loss for words. Kathryn's troubles and insecurities were way out of his area of expertise, and he didn't want to make matters worse by saying the wrong thing. "Please come to campus with me tomorrow," he tried again gently. "With any luck, one of the counselors there will have time to see you, even if it's just for a few minutes. And if not, you can make an appointment for next week, when you're back from Indiana."

Kathryn hesitated for a few moments more, clearly struggling with the decision. "Alright," she finally acquiesced with a sigh, which earned her an encouraging smile from Chakotay. He wasn't sure whether she agreed because she was convinced that she needed professional help or whether she just wanted to set him at ease. Ultimately it didn't matter, as long as she talked to a Starfleet counselor.

Chakotay had first-hand experience with counselors. When he'd come to the Academy at fifteen, the new surroundings had been surreal. He'd grown up without any modern technology, and to suddenly be surrounded by PADDs, terminals and viewscreens everywhere threw him into a true culture shock. He'd also been much younger than most of the other cadets, which made finding new friends doubly difficult. After three weeks he'd been ready to give up, convinced that he'd never be able to fit in with this new world no matter how much he wanted to. But his decision to abandon his Starfleet career had only led to new problems. Returning to Dorvan had not been an option, not after how he'd broken with his family, especially his father. In his despair, joining a band of space pirates had seemed like a logical solution, but he wouldn't even have known how to find them. He'd had no connections and few possessions, nothing of value that would've bought him transport to anywhere.

He'd finally left the only way he knew how – on foot, turning his steps eastward because he'd heard that wide open plains lay that way. Relying on his survival skills, he'd figured that he could hold out for a couple of weeks until a definite plan for his future presented itself. However, he hadn't made it very far. Having been alerted by Chakotay's roommate when he failed to return home by midnight, campus security had caught up with him in an old, abandoned shed only a few hours' walk from the San Francisco city limit and dragged him, screaming and punching, right back to the Academy where they'd deposited him in the office of one Lieutenant Duncan, head of Student Counseling.

Even though Chakotay had been wary of the counselor at first, he'd soon found a sympathetic listener in this human born and raised on the colony world of Caldos II, whose inhabitants also valued adhering to old traditions over introducing new technology. Duncan had helped Chakotay by relating his own experiences, and also by organizing a crash course in manipulating modern appliances. He also suggested that Chakotay take up boxing as a way to improve his physique so he'd look more like his fellow cadets. Once he felt more comfortable about both his looks and his understanding of this new way of life, making friends had become easier. Still, Counselor Duncan had remained a trusted advisor throughout Chakotay's time at SFA.

Kathryn remained subdued for the rest of the night and claimed she was very tired shortly after they got back to Chakotay's apartment. Since they would have to get up early the following morning, he joined her, and they lay together in the darkness, each lost in their own thoughts. It was the first night since they started sleeping together that they didn't make love, but when Kathryn wrapped her arm tightly around his waist and turned her face into his chest with a shuddering inhalation which was almost a sob, Chakotay felt closer to her than he ever had before. He held her, soothingly running his hand up and down her back until she fell asleep. And when her anguished cries woke him in the dead of night, he held her again, whispering words of reassurance and love until she quieted enough to go back to sleep.

-==/\==-