Chapter 3
Link went up the mountain, and was doing quite, until he saw a large orange tetekite. "Hi, Mr. Spider!" said Link. Mr. Spider wasn't so friendly, however. It blinked an eye and screeched, before jumping on Link. "Awww! You love me, Mr. Spider! I love you, too!" said Link. Mr. Spider then did the unthinkable. Yes, that's right folks, he ate the pasta Link packed for lunch.
Link, who was less concerned about his own safety, cried. "Mr. Spider! You ate my din-din!" Link slapped the spider, and ran off crying. Half way up, he finally shut his mouth. Then out of nowhere, a large yellow thing was rolling in his direction. Link, being to dumb to move, got ran over. This, being a work of fiction, however, Link popped up. So, anyway he walked the rest of the way up, and entered a cave, which really turned out to be a city, Goron city. Link wandered around, until he reached the bottom of the city, and went to a door. That incredible urge to play came once again, and Link entered.
A stupid yellow guy stood their, obviously with his underwear in a bunch, because he had a rather angry expression plastered on his face. Link thought, 'I know a good pick-me-up.' said Link putting an Ocarina to his lips and playing some forest song. The retarded Goron started dancing about, making Link nearly peed his pants laughing.
When the Goron stopped, he asked, "What do you want little fella?"
Link said, "I want that tacky stone you got."
Darunia gasped, "You mean my lunch? Oh...well I'll only give it to you if you kill the dumb drangon that's eating all the rocks in that cave at the base."
Link said, "Fiiiiiiiiine. Just give me the key."
Darunia, even though he was quite dumb, thought Link was stupid, and sighed, "Kid, you need this strength bracelet to pick up bomb flowers and throw at the cavern." he said handing Link a golden bracelet, with the Goron symbol.
"Thanks," said Link running out the door. Darunia sighed once more,
"We'll starve..." said Darunia, sitting on his throne, rubbing his temples.
Link reached that one little area with the bomb flower and picked it up, but being the moron he is, he held it until it exploded, this caused Link to turn very dark, and be in a lot of pain. So, the second time around he threw it before it exploded. Good boy, Link. Causing the stone slab once blocking the entrance to the cavern, to explode. Link jumped down, nearly breaking his ankles, and went in the lovely dungeon. He blew up another door, and went into the next room. He jumped across a platform, and blew up another room, going in.
In the next room were bay dodongos, trying to kill Link. Link slashed one of them, making it blow up. Link now had an owwie. So, he learnt the almighty avoidence mineuver, and managed to get to the end of the room. The next task was to move the armos knight on the switch, Link did so, after having it explained to him by Navi...several times. He jumped up and entered the next room. This room required lighting all the bombs at once, to lower the platform. He managed to do so, and climb up the stairs. He opened a chest revealing the bomb bag. Then it came down to throwing bombs in the dead dodongo's eyes. Link nearly went into seizure when it's mouth opened, until Navi reassured him that it was an inatimate object. He jumped down and entered the dondogo's mouth, and opened the door. Guess what? It's the boss room!
King Dodongo, the almighty...wait...iguana? Link, being the sweet little boy he is, went over to pet King Dodongo. "Aww! Hi, little fella. You scaring the ugly yellow guys away?" asked Link. The iguana opened it's mouth, emitting a flame, catching Link's shoe on fire. "AGH! MY FOOT!" screamed Link. Link hopped around dropping every last bomb in his bag. Kingy, thought, yum-yum, and ate the bombs. A few minutes later, let's just say iguana guts were everywhere, and Link was missing a toe.
A blue portal appeared, along with another heart piece Link picked up, and a pink fairie, healing him, making his toe regenerate. Link stepped into the light, happy to leave. He ended up in front of a heard of Gorons, and yahoo and yippee-ing.
"Thanks! You know my sworn brother!" said Darunia, giving Link the tacky red stone, that looked like costume jewelry. "Now, it time for a biiiiig Goron hug!" said Darunia and other Gorons, arms wide-spread.
Link ran for dear life, as the Gorons looked quizically, "He no want hug?" they asked.
Link went back down the mountain, and wondered where he'd go next...
Dundundun...another chapter. Yay.