FOREVER CHANGED

CHAPTER 3

AWAKENINGS

It had been nine days, nine days since Johnny slipped in a coma.

Ponyboy was sitting at the desk in his bedroom. Because of the ten days of school he missed, when he was on the run and then when he was sick, Pony's grades were slipping. He would probably need to go to summer school for math and history, because those grades weren't that great to begin with. But Mr. Syme agreed to give Pony a passing grade in English, if he completed a composition on a personal experience. The only problem was trying to figure out what to write about.

Pony's mind was wandering, he couldn't concentrate. All he could think about were the horrible things that happened in the last two weeks; Johnny killing Bob, the fire at the church, Dally dying……Johnny... He couldn't stop thinking about his best friend, the friend lying in a hospital fighting for his life, the friend he hadn't seen since he ran from hospital eight days ago..

Wracked with grief and guilt, Pony blamed himself for everything that had happened. If he hadn't run into that burning church, Johnny wouldn't have tried to stop him. If he didn't run after Darry hit him, they would have never gone to the park and Johnny would have never had to kill Bob in the first place.

Ponyboy sighed and leaned back in his chair. Something caught his eye, it was a picture of him and Johnny sitting on hood of Two-bit's car, goofing around. Pony plucked the picture off the board and smiled, but that quickly faded.

He laid the picture down on his desk, his hand hit the corner of a book; it was 'Gone With the Wind'. Pony opened the book and found a piece of paper neatly folded between two pages.

He unfolded the paper to find handwriting he didn't recognize on the back of a hospital requisition form. He started to read:

Ponyboy I asked the nurse to give you this book so you can finish it. I also asked her to write this letter in case I don't make it, kind of like a last will and testament. The doctor came in a while ago to tell me it doesn't look good, but I knew anyway. I keep getting tireder and tireder and it's getting harder to breathe. Listen, I don't mind dying now. It's worth it. It's worth saving those kids. Their lives are more important than mine, they have more to live for. Some of their parents came by to thank me and I know it was worth it. Tell Dally it's worth it. I'm just going to miss you guys. I've been thinking about it, and that poem, that guy that wrote it, he meant you're gold when you're a kid, like green. When you're a kid everything's new, dawn. It's just when you get used to everything that it's day. Like the way you dig sunsets, Pony. That's gold. Keep it that way, it's a good way to be. I want you to tell Dally to look at one. He'll probably think you're crazy, but ask for me. I don't think he's ever really seen a sunset. And don't be so bugged over being a greaser. You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want. There's still lots of good in the world. Tell Dally. I don't think he knows.

Your buddy, Johnny.

Ponyboy felt tears sting his eyes, he felt unworthy. He didn't deserve to have had friends like Johnny and Dally ...friends that would do anything for one another...even give their own lives.

He hadn't been to see Johnny in over a week, lying to the guys and making excuses to get out of going. It broke his heart to see Johnny that way...

Pony knew it was too late for Dally, he was already dead. But Johnny wasn't dead, Pony owed him, he had to make it up to him.

He remembered what the pretty nurse had told them when they all came to see Johnny...so that's what Pony decided to do, he'd talk to Johnny. He'd tell him to keep fighting.…to stay gold too .

With a smile on his face and a renewed energy, Pony wrote a note to Darry and Soda, grabbed his composition notebook and the copy of 'Gone with the Wind', and headed off to the hospital.

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On the bus ride to the hospital, Pony decided on what to write about for his assignment. He would tell the story of what he and the guys went through during that long, scary week.

"Hey Sonny, ain't this yer stop?", the old bus driver asked.

Pony looked up from his notebook, and nodded sheepishly. He hopped off the bus and headed north, toward the hospital.

The weather outside was bright and cheerful, but inside the hospital, it felt sad and gloomy.

He rode the elevator up to the intensive care unit and walked quietly to the room he remembered was Johnny's.

The door was closed, Pony grasped the handle, but couldn't make himself walk in.

A nurse came up to him, not the same, pretty nurse Pony remembered. This nurse was older, she had a nice smile and soothing voice that reminded Pony of his mother.

"Can I help you Dear?", she asked.

"Uh...yeah, I'm Ponyboy Curtis, my friend's...um..."

"You're looking for Johnny Cade, right?" He nodded.

"I haven't seen you before." Pony dropped his head in shame.

The nurse put a comforting hand on his back. "C'mon, I'll take you inside.", she said guiding him to the sink and handing him a paper gown.

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Ponyboy wasn't sure what to expect when he walked in, but he sure as hell didn't expect to see what was in front of him.

The first thing Pony noticed was the oxygen mask that had replaced the breathing tube. That was good, but as Pony got closer, he could see that Johnny's face was all red and puffy, his eyes were shut and his lips were swollen and the skin cracked.

Pony's eyes moved down and a lump formed in his throat. The nurse hurried to his side. "I'm sorry, I should have warned you, we wash his burns every day at this time. We have to let the antiboitic ointment air dry, before putting the bandages back on."

The burns to Johnny's neck, shoulders and abdomen were hideous. The skin was bright red, some parts of his body were peeling, others had giant blisters that were oozing and the rest were bleeding slightly. There were also two scars on either side of his ribs, where the chest tubes had been. His arms, hands and fingers were also red and raw.

Pony felt sick to his stomach, he wanted to run to the bathroom and throw up, but his feet wouldn't move.

"If you want to wait outside, I'll get you as soon as I'm done.", the nurse offered.

Afraid he might run out of the hospital again, if he left Johnny's room, Pony shook his head and decided to stay.

He sat on a chair near the window, and opened his composition book.

"Ooh, sorry Sweetie, didn't mean to bump your hand.", the nurse said out loud.

Pony looked up from what he was writing. "So he really can hear you, huh?", he whispered.

She smiled. "I think so. he's showing some signs of waking up too. He knows when his friends are here, he seems calmer." Pony started to feel guilty again.

"And his blood pressure tends to go up when he's stressed or in pain; like late at night when he's all alone or when we have to clean his wounds."

"See.", the nurse called to him. Pony rose and walked over to Johnny. "His blood pressure went down as soon as you started talking."

Pony smiled. He brought the chair he was sitting in, closer to Johnny's bed and began reading while the nurse finished her bandaging.

Before he knew it, the nurse was done. "I'll be right back Ponyboy, I have another patient to check on."

Pony nodded, then stood up to stretch his limbs. He looked at the clock, it waspast supper time. He needed to get back home.

He leaned in closer to Johnny and touched his arm. "I gotta go now Johnny, but I'll be back tomorrow right after school."

Pony looked for any response, there was none. He sighed heavily and placed the book on the bedside table. He picked up his notebook and headed for the door.

He glanced over his shoulder at Johnny, then continued forward. His whole body turned immediately when he heard a small, hoarse whisper, "P--p--pony."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yay, he's awake. I know the story seems to be moving slowly, but that's intentional. I want to get a lot of the angst out in the beginning so the rest of the story can highlight the friendship aspect of the entire gangs relationship. I tried to not change the wording or meaning of the beautiful letter Johnny wrote Pony too much, I also wanted to emphasize the fact that Johnny really did think he was dying. Hope I did a good job of that. Thanks to PINKxSmurf and SamSammySamantha for the reviews, I apreciate them very much. Please let me know how you feel about this story, comments and constructive criticism are welcome. Thank you.

DISCLAIMER: They are not mine.