I know I haven't updated in a long time. I am sorry I am REALLY busy right now. I think work is going to drown me….lol. My editor is a…well, he is a nice person but he is pushing me over the edge. I barely have time for nothing, this next two months I am really busy so I don't know how much I would update. It depends on how much school work and chapters of my novel I can get done over the break. I am really struggling not to put this story in hold because I love you guys and you are helping me a lot with my writing…besides, I really LOVE this website and writing ff. I wouldn't change it for ANYTHING.

Reviews

Random3; Paige is not dead if that is what you're asking. You'll find out about her in this chapter, I wouldn't be mean to Paige, I really like her…well. You'll have to read to find out. Poor Ethan, do you really think he is bad…I think I am falling in love with him (jk) Thanks a lot for the reviews, I'm glad you like the ff.

PrueTrudeau; Prue was dead when Ethan was around thirteen, but I haven't said his age yet. Ethan is a traveler, yeah, but not that kind of traveler, he is not like Chris if that is what you asked. About the bruises, you will find out soon…I think I'm gonna write a chapter about Ethan's life soon, I am getting everyone confused. Anyway, you just got one more chapter free…or maybe just a longer one…I don't know. LOL. About Cole, well, everybody has secrets in this ff…so…you'll find out soon too. He is not evil though…I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't do that to you guys, letting you know what happen before it actually happens lol. Thanks for your reviews! THANKS A LOTT!

Shanfan; The most beautiful thing about writing is that you can write what you want to read because, of course, it hasn't been written yet. The one with Prue and Cole will come probably when I am done with this freaking quarter at my high school. I am really loaded with hw.

peanut2lb; I am checking your ff now! I really like what your writing so I'm sure I'll love this new one. Sorry about the subplot, it is the way I write, I can't say things right away, besides, where would the fun be? I liked writing Andy's show too. It is just the way I imagine popular Andy in high school…

And finally, the chapter in which, I AM GOING TO EXPLAIN some things that you guys wonder, I hope is not too long…

Chapter 7

Everyone's secrets, everyone's reasons

Prue had essentially a tragic life, so she refused to take it tragically. It was like one of those habits you build while you grow up. Prue didn't want to assume what had just happened, yet, just like anytime before she felt like she had no options left again. Everything has gone way to fast for Prue, not just what happened that night but before, ages before, it seemed like the two people within Prue were in conflict, it seemed like the world was surrounded by darkness and that chaos had summoned itself in Prue's life. She didn't want to think about Ethan—or whatever reason for which he hadn't been there—nor Andy, or her perfect date. She didn't want to think about Phoebe's innocence being stolen when she was told about what had happened to her baby sister. Everyone was together, holding themselves really tightly –even Ethan was there. He had whished he could leave but something, somewhat loyalty towards Prue and the Halliwells had kept him right there, even though he knew that that time, the punishment would be extreme. Andy held Prue while he gazed the disaster. The house was ruined, just as if someone had defeated dead right there just a few minutes ago. He wanted to call his dad, call the police but something within Prue's eyes kept him from doing anything. Something he had never seen, yet it was oddly familiar to him, just like that first day of high school when he thought he saw Prue's inner soul. Now he was sure that that odd sparkle in her eyes was the real Prue Halliwell who needed the real Andy by her side. Phoebe hadn't stopped sobbing and Cole, hadn't stop holding her, looking oddly guilty about everything. Piper was there, staring at Ethan who had his eyes locked on Prue. Patty with tears on her eyes, knowing she was walking a path that didn't belong to her but somebody else. All of them stared at Paige's door, opened wide, letting them see Paige's body, laid on the bed just like if she was laid on one side and the rest else where. The time they stared it was just a quarter of a breath but it seemed like years and years of pain, especially for Patty, who knew that she had missed out…once again.

Prue was the first one running towards Paige's body. She didn't care about not being the strong one anymore. She cared about the baby sister she had just known for a few months and she had gotten to love so deeply that she could give up her life just to make her smile. She held Paige in her arms and rocked her softly, wondering if she would break her in a million pieces. She had never held anyone like that, or at least, that is what she thought. "Paige please, Paige" Prue cried, not so sure about what to say. "Please, wake up. Please be okay" Andy was the next one there, holding both of them. "Honey, we have to go to the hospital," He whispered. Piper was unable to move and so were Patty and Cole.

"Ethan move your ass here and fix this! Do your damn work!" Prue yelled losing her nerves. Andy held her tightly, ignoring Ethan's presence. "It is not his fault honey…" Ethan once he was able to move –sprinted to the bed and looked at Paige.

"No, you are right. It is not your fault Ethan. You warned me," Prue reasoned, forgetting the fact that no one but Ethan knew what she was talking about. Then she gazed at her mother. "But you…Piper is right. I have never said anything to you, even though you are much worse than I remembered. I have never been there for my sisters…and now look at Paige…look what happened. I am eighteen now…but I am NOT moving out, you are mom." Everyone kept silence but Patty who broke in to tears. Piper looked at her sister proudly and so did Phoebe.

"She is ok," Ethan laughed relieved. "She has fainted that is all!" Ethan and Prue stared at each other. None of them could believe it. Paige was safe, someone had intervened, she was safe.

"She hasn't been…?" Prue asked. "She is really okay?"

"Prue…what…what is going on?" Andy asked, a little scared of what he could be finding out. "How do you know this guy?"

Prue ignored him; she looked at Ethan instead who looked radiant. She realized that he couldn't be as old as she had thought, his eyes, looked younger and yet, familiar.

"She hasn't been what?" Piper asked.

"Never mind," Prue smiled holding her baby sister. "Never mind" she repeated.

"Never mind what?" Patty asked losing control. Prue turned to her. Everyone though she was going to go off and start yelling incoherencies but she didn't. She suddenly felt angry and confused. She wished no one was there. "Prue I…"

"Shut up" Piper said. "What is going on Prue, what happened?" Prue stared at everybody. Everybody needed answers but she couldn't give them any. Not even to Andy. Andy understood, Prue would never let him in, Prue would never tell him whatever she was keeping from him. Why did he think she would? Why would she? Maybe he wasn't good enough. At this point, Ethan was the only one aware of the entire situation. "I am gonna get beaten up again" he thought.

It took a long time to get everybody to go home. Cole was the first leaving and then Andy who didn't look at Prue, who didn't even touch her. He needed his time to think whether Prue was worth it or not. After they left, Prue took Paige to her own room (Prue's) and put her in her bed. She didn't want to leave her alone. After that, they all went to clean up the mess that the house was. Even Ethan helped. Piper was considering to tell Prue about Ethan but Prue had too many things to handle that night and it was the first night in years that Prue had been up to her sisters' expectations. Patty helped to clean up too, hoping she would have a little-long talk with Prue afterwards. Phoebe was about to fall asleep while cleaning but she didn't want to go up. She was scared. What if whoever had broken in the house came for her too?

"Phoebe honey, go to bed please," Prue said. Phoebe shook her head while she yawned. Prue smiled gently and added "If you want to can sleep in my room too,"

Phoebe's eyes lightened "Will you come later?" Prue hugged her sister and smiled "Always" Because she will always come back, sooner or later. "Piper you too, go to bed. You both can go in my room" Piper nodded, as tired as Phoebe and they both went upstairs. Patty couldn't take her eyes away from Ethan, she remembered him to well. Then, she looked back at Prue and spoke, "Prue, I need to talk to you… I need to explain"

"Good, because you have way to many things to explain" Prue furiously said. "You can start now"

"It is his fault!" Patty pointed. Ethan stared at Prue, begging her just like when he was a kid. Begging her to believe him. For some bizarre reason, Prue did. "He made me…"

"He made you keep Paige" Prue finished her mom's sentence. "You were going to give her up because you made a damn mistake that got you pregnant of a whitelighter. You did not want to face the elders anger so, you figured that the best option was to give her up. However, what you didn't know is that you were going to feel empty and guilty. So guilty that you would come to see us to the summer camp we were at…and get yourself killed. He didn't do anything wrong but maybe, saved your damn life. Now I see that it is a life that should have gone to waste" Prue had never spoken like that before. She spoke every word with anger and rancor. She charged every single letter with fury and sorrow. However, she didn't regret. She would never regret saying the truth, even if it should have been said earlier. Patty's eyes were filled with tears now and so where Ethan's even though he tried to hide them from Prue.

"I never meant to hurt you…" Patty tried to explain. Prue gazed at her. "You did hurt me mom"

"I didn't know…I didn't know that…"

"What?" Prue yelled. "What didn't you know? That alcohol is bad, that when you punch me it hurts or that you were a horrible mother and person!"

"I didn't know that I was supposed to be dead!" Patty yelled. "Or that you knew about magic, I would have done something Prue! I would have told you something…didn't I say to you that you shouldn't be messing with destiny!"

"Destiny can be changed!" Ethan snapped. "That is the problem with all of you! Destiny is something you can change!"

"No is not!" Patty yelled. "Who the hell are you? If you were working for the elders you would know better. You would know what the consequences of what you did…"

"Alcoholism is not a consequence of anything magical. It was your choice!" Prue yelled defending Ethan.

"Prue shut up you are just seventeen!" Patty yelled.

"Eighteen actually!" Prue yelled. Ethan knew he shouldn't have spoken but just to see Prue like that hurt him so badly that he couldn't take. Prue hurting was the only thing he could never take." Patty breathed and stared at Prue and Ethan. She had so much anger held against the kid, for some reason she knew he wasn't good. Maybe something in his eyes told her that that kid was dangerous. Patty sat on the couch and breathed again, blinked her eyes and said "Prue I think your friend should leave. I need to explain you something"

"He can stay mom. He knows more than I do…and he has helped me, and my sisters"

"Fine" Patty cut her off. Ethan looked at Prue and felt like running in to her arms, telling her he was sorry for everything. That he should have known the consequences.

"Prue pass me that knife right there please" Patty asked her daughter who didn't hesitate. Patty grabbed the knife and pressed it against her skin. Prue felt like throwing it away but Ethan held her. Patty wasn't bleeding, nor grimacing, nor nothing. She was calmed and collected, even although the knife was cutting her skin. Prue was too shocked to speak. "I was meant to die Prue…" Prue covered her mouth with her hand. He whole world was going down, fast. "Some people cannot be saved. Some destinies can't be changed" She said this not looking at Prue but looking at Ethan who was lost within himself. He was slowly shaking his head, denying. That couldn't be true for him. As if it was a reflect act, Prue grabbed Ethan's hand. She wondered why her feelings where growing and growing towards Ethan. It wasn't love, at least not the kind of love she felt for Andy, it was…even deeper. Ethan pulled his hand away. "I should go"

"You stay" both Patty and Prue said. Then Patty added "Prue I am so sorry for what I did. You are right. I should leave and…I don't know. Drinking is the only thing that makes me have some control over what I feel. I have always feel empty since the day I…I didn't give up Paige. I have always wondered why. In the beginning, I wasn't able to feel little things, like the sun or the wind. After, I couldn't feel happy or sad anymore, nor emptiness or guiltiness…then, I stopped feeling love or anger or pain…" Prue eyes broke into tears "…Alcohol is the only thing that makes me feel again…but I lose control…I really didn't mean to hurt you…it's just, the frustration comes back and…you are always there."

Prue stood up. She had heard enough. "Are you saying that you beat me up because I am always there. Because you can't take the frustration. I am sorry mom; sorry for saving your life…I know I was right, since you don't feel anything at all."

"I'm sorry Prue," Patty apologized.

"You can't be sorry. You don't feel" Prue snapped hurt. Patty wished she could explain Prue what she felt. Sometimes the feelings were there but she couldn't quite define what she was feelings. Sometimes she didn't have feelings at all. The only thing that mattered was that Prue was right. Patty was no longer able to be a mother. Patty should leave for good. Also, she wanted to warn her daughter about the guy that was standing by her side. Ethan looked at Patty, he had never met her but…he had wondered how she was or why…well, it didn't matter because he wondered a lot of things.

"I'll leave Prue," Patty said. "I'll leave now if you want me to, but first I need answers. Why did you do it? Why did you save me?"

"Because you are my mother!" Prue said trying not to cry harder. "Why else?"

"I know you didn't do this just for me. You changed the past, why?" Patty asked again.

"I did it. It wasn't her fault!" Ethan intervened.

"She knew what you were doing was wrong…she didn't keep you from doing it. Were you dead Prue, is that what you were trying to change. Maybe someone else's death, Andy's maybe?" Patty said coldly. Prue had to remember that her mom couldn't feel.

"I did it for good" Prue and Ethan said at the same time. Then Prue added "Look mom. If the future can't be changed, fine. I have failed. We have failed, but I should try to build another future for us, since the one we had already sucked enough. I don't lose anything by trying." Ethan couldn't believe Prue was saying that. Well, he could because he had always seen Prue as the strongest woman ever, however, since he got to know her before she died he had realized how many things she had kept from him. Things that hurt him.

Patty shook her head. Wondering where she would go, or even if she would go somewhere at all. She headed to the door and, just when she was about to reach it she looked at Prue and said, "Long time ago I filled some papers up just in case this day came. I named you guardian or your sisters and heir of the house and everything we own. When your dad left, he did it because he couldn't stand Paige. Sam was taken away by the elders because he tried to stay here…it broke my heart Prue…it truly did, but you have to know Prue, that what I did to you hurt me the most…I feel a little shadow of pain in my heart…although I can't feel. Before this happened, I loved you and your sisters so much. I would have rather died than put you in this hell I have put you through. Even though I can't feel, you have to know that I am sorry for every single thing I have done to you…You are special Prue. You are my eldest daughter, and if someone can change their goddamn rules, and their way of doing things. That is you."

Prue watched one of the hardest things on earth. Something no one should ever watch. She had to watch her mother walking through the door. That is the worst feeling. Prue wondered if she would see her mother again, and if she did, would she be the person she should have been? The person that –deep down—Prue knew her mother was? Prue wasn't mad at her mother anymore…well, maybe a little, but she had left for good. She had left because she loved them all, but she couldn't be the mother they deserve to have. She wondered if she would be able to tell her sisters that her mother had left and what she would tell them. She couldn't tell them the truth, and she didn't want them to hate their mother forever. She didn't want to hurt Paige more…she still had to find out what happened…Then, her thoughts went back to Ethan.

"so, what now?"

"What do you mean?" Ethan asked confused. Prue stared at him and softly said. "You know you can't lie to me forever…There was something between us, something that connected us and that is why you saved me, innit? Look Ethan, I need you to tell me the truth because I am going crazy. I need you to tell me why do I care so much about what happens to you"

"I can't" he said. "Prue…It is…it is complicated and hard…and…look, I'll tell you, someday." Ethan looked away from Prue's eyes.

"Will you?"

"Yeah, I always tell you" Ethan whispered. "What was that?" Prue asked. "I just said yes" Prue nodded.

"I have to go" Ethan said but he didn't mean it. He didn't want to leave. "Why do I have the feeling that you didn't mean that?" Prue asked.

"Because I didn't" Ethan smiled.

"Stay" Prue said. "You can sleep on the couch…I need to talk to my sister…Paige" Ethan nodded and thanked her.

"If you need something you can get it yourself. Whatever you need okay?" Prue said. "Oh, and clean your injuries…yes Ethan, I can see them I am not blind" Ethan nodded and stared at her. He wished he could tell her. Wait a minute, he could tell her, at least a little bit of the truth…

"The elders" Ethan confessed. Prue looked at him confused. "What?" Ethan looked away from her again and then, stared at her in the eyes. He shot the truth. "The Elder I live with"

Prue looked at him while he curled on the couch and grabbed a blanket. She wanted to ask and find out but she knew that Ethan wouldn't say anything else so it was a waste of time. "Night Ethan" was all she said.

Prue went upstairs to her room where she found her three sisters. Piper was the only one awake…Prue and Piper stared at each other.

"I'm sorry," Piper said. "You are a great sister Prue"

"Thanks Piper. It really means a lot to me," Prue admitted "I'm sorry I wasn't there…I was caught up with Andy and cheer and everything…"

"Prue, you have your life, it is normal. Besides, you made it up today" Piper said. She wanted to ask about all the weird stuff she had heard but…she didn't want to know so she just decided not to. Sometimes, living in the ignorance is better than live in a messed up world of knowledge…Prue was now playing with Piper's smooth hair while Piper pulled Prue in to a hug. Phoebe woke up and stared at her sisters.

"I don't get a hug?" she pointed. "Join!" Prue squished Phoebe against her body. "I am so proud of you girls," Prue said. "I know I don't tell you guys how much I love you…or at least not enough times…but I really do"

"We know you do"

"Go back to sleep" Prue said. "I don't think I can" Phoebe answered. "Can I go get ice-cream?" Prue didn't want to let Phoebe go downstairs alone but then she realized that Ethan was there. "Sure, but one of my friends is sleeping on the couch so try not to make noise okay?" Phoebe nodded and jumped off the bed.

"The guy with bruises?" Piper asked when Phoebe was out.

"Yeah" Prue answered. "Do you know him?"

"He was looking for you today…he was pretty stressed…I think he knew something about…Paige" Piper said. Prue smiled letting her know that there was nothing to worry about. "He is weird" Prue laughed. "Yeah. He is"

"Can I go get ice-cream too?" Piper asked. "Maybe…we could spend the day together tomorrow…"

"Sure" Prue said. "Go get ice-cream" Piper ran out of the room and Prue had the feeling that, after all, she wasn't doing that bad….She wouldn't do that bad taking care of her sisters…she could always ask Andy…Oh god. Andy…She picked the phone up and thought about calling him but then she realized that it was too late. She didn't want to bother him. Paige moved and took her out of her thoughts. She was crying.

"Paige babe" Prue said. "Are you feeling okay?" Paige stared at her sister without knowing what she was talking about. "I'm fine" she said.

"What happened honey?" Prue asked. "Who broke in?"

"What?" Paige asked without a clue of what had just happened. "I don't know. I was in my room and I heard something in Piper's room and then a really weird man came through the door and…I fell asleep."

Oh my God. I'm sorry this chapter is not very good. I promise the next one will be better. I just needed to get Patty out of the house and Andy mad…next one will be better. I promise. I have been really busy…Reviews please! I really find them useful.