Turnabout Pirates

by Charlett

A woman is found, murdered, in an alleyway on No Name Island. But when the finger is pointed at Zoro and people begin to sharpen their pitchforks, a rather... strange attorney is called to get him acquitted.

2. Day 2: Trial Morning

Boo! Alright, here we are. PLEASE, don't kill me! This is probably the first time I have written a real mystery story. Hopefully you guys'll kinda not hate it or something. Also, this is one of my first "First Person Perspective" stories, as well. I personally think I did a good job with that. Also, PS. The story will slightly spoil a few things in Phoenix Wright's third adventure, Gyakuten Saiben 3. Nothing that will like, spoil the ENDING or anything, but some people go insane about stuff like that. Weird... Anyway...

READ ON! and all that jazz.

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Phoenix Wright: MangaLandian Attorney
Case File 1; Turnabout Pirates
Day 2: Trial; Morning

January 18, 5:46
Fangirl Order Headquarters
Defendant Lobby No. 2

Zoro yawned and stared at me, his eyes half banked from lack of sleep, "Bloody Fangirls. Can't they hold a trial at a NORMAL hour of the day?"

I began to chuckle, "What, you mean three in the afternoon?"

"Much better," Zoro said, and I sweat from the fact that he was serious.

"NICK!" I nearly fell over when Usopp and Chopper barreled into me, "Hey, Nick, you're going to do great out there! Take them DOWN, Nick!"

"I… I'll do my best…" I replied as the other people from that Merry ship came to see me off (It's the best I can do… after all…), "Alright, wish us luck, everyone!"

"GOOD LUCK, NICK!" Luffy shouted, and I began to twitch from the shouting. If I was ever about to fall asleep before this trial, that certainly woke me up…

"Good luck, Wright-san!" Nami said.

"If Marimo gets sentenced to death for this, it's okay with me," Sanji replied (why do I get the feeling they don't get along well…?).

"Attorney-san, I'm looking forward to seeing how you take the law into your hands," Robin said, as primp and proper as ever.

"See you soon, Nick, Zoro!" Chopper and Usopp proclaimed, "We're all behind you, all the way!"

"Yeah yeah," Zoro muttered through a yawn. Then, serious as all get out, the swordsman glared straight at me, "Look, buddy. My life's at stake here. This is the first time I've given my whole being to someone I don't even know." He glanced in Luffy's direction, and then turned back to me, "Alright, TWICE, but if you screw up, I swear…"

"I'll… do what I can…" I muttered, scratching the back of my head as I sweated (dangit, as if the stakes weren't high enough…), "Well, either way, it's just about time for us to head into the courtroom. Zoro, you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," The first mate replied, looking away in an aloof manner, "I'm always ready."

"Alright then!" As I led the defendant to the courtroom, I suddenly felt a sinking feeling in me. This was… the first time I really didn't have anyone at my side… There was Maya, and then Ema… but now, I have a grumpy swordsman with a no good streak as my only company… things… are going to be hard…

---

January 18, 6:00
Fangirl Order Headquarters
Courtroom No. 3

The entire courtroom fell silent as a young woman slammed a gavel down. The Fangirl Judge began the trial, "Order! This court is in session! Silence will be upheld during this trial, and that means no outbursts of '(Insert lust interest here), I love you!'"

I began to sweat (They actually DO stuff like that…?).

"Uhhh, Um…" I looked across the way, on the other side of the court, and I saw a young woman, who seemed to be rather clumsy, as she was trying to catch her glasses that she dropped from fiddling with them too much, "The Prosecution… it's ready, Your Honor."

"The Defense is also ready, Your Honor."

"Good good," The judge replied, swinging her gavel around like the entire thing was a game, "The prosecution's opening statements, please and all that jazz."

I couldn't believe it. (Even the Fangirls' judges don't take murder charges seriously?) Maybe I should have listened to Edgeworth. Can't be cocky when there's a judge that doesn't really care how this turns out…

"I have found… sufficient… evidence that says Roronoa Zoro is the man who killed Imra Bid, Your Honor," Tashigi said, fiddling with her glasses. She looked down at what appeared to be a rather thick book ("law book," I thought to myself), and then back up to the judge, "I would like to have Detective Gumshoe of the "Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney" World of MangaLand come forward, please ("Earth's… nickname is named after ME…?" I gasped). He is the investigator of the crime, so I think his testimony and summary of the crime will help people better understand it. Alright?"

"Alright then, bring him in…" The judge replied, a smile brought to her lips. It took only a few minutes, as Gumshoe was in the audience at the time. After being brought up on the witness stand, the judge looked him down, and instantly seemed disinterested again, "Well, hurry up with that testimony, we don't have all day…"

"Right!" Gumshoe replied, smiling, "Here's a synopsis of what happened. On January 16, Ms. Imra Bid was impaled by a long sword, or, more specifically, a Katana. It ripped through her heart and left her dead on the floor. This here is the Katana," and with that, he pulled up a long sword, curved a bit, with gloves, "This is the very murder weapon that was found lying next to Ms. Bid on that day."

"The court accepts this evidence, Your Honor?" Tashigi asked, adjusting her glasses.

"Yeah, yeah. It's a nice piece of work. Is it named?"

"No, it is beautifully made," Tashigi said, "But it's not a Meitou or anything. The design is great and the handle…"

"Objection!" I shouted, pointing my finger at the rambling prosecution, "Please, Your Honor, do we really need to know THIS much about the murder weapon?" (and what is a "Meitou" anyway?)

"Yeah, the defense has a point. I'm getting bored of it now anyway. Oh yeah, it's accepted as evidence now. Whoopdiedo…"

"Oh, another thing; about the forensic tests…" Detective Gumshoe continued. He pulled out a small file and handed it in, "All of the tests have been completed. Here they are."

"Well, at least someone knows what to do around here!" The judge proclaimed, "Lemme see…" She looked over it a little, all the while the prosecution and I listened intently, "Apparently… this file contains the tests on the fingerprints and the blood upon the Katana. The fingerprints are from Zoro… his left hand, apparently…"

"WHAT?" I roared, the color draining from my face. I turned to stare at the swordsman, "You did FAIL to tell me about this, Zoro!"

"Aren't you supposed to investigate this crap?" He growled in response, glaring right back.

"Also, the blood on the sword… is from… Ms. Imra Bid… and… Sakura Tenshi?" The Judge shouted in disbelief. There was a murmur among the people.

"Shut it! Shut it up, all of you!" The Judge shouted, slamming her gavel down, "Tashigi, what's the meaning of this? How did Sakura Tenshi's blood get on the sword, anyway?"

Tashigi looked like she was going to be sick, but she recovered fast, "Well, that's really weird. You know, since she IS the witness and all. That night, she was cut along her arm. Can you believe it? I think there's really only one way to figure out what happened…

"Detective Gumshoe, if you don't mind, could you bring in the Mary Sue, Sakura Tenshi, in as a witness?"

"Whatever you say, you're the prosecutor!" Gumshoe replied, relieving himself of the podium to go collect the woman. It took a little longer than usual, but suddenly the door opened and a call rang through the entire courtroom.

"Hello, my darling chickadees! It's ME, Sakura Tenshi!" The Mary Sue proclaimed, throwing kisses to everyone in the room. The only blemish she had was that one of her arms was bandaged, probably from the cut that was mentioned a while ago, "Created by none other than your FAVORITE One Piece Fan, Digitaldreamer!" (What kind of girl calls herself "Digital Dreamer?" I wondered).

The woman took the stand, and she smiled at everyone, "It's been a while since I saw you all. I seem to remember it was something along the lines of banishing me off the face of the planets!" She sniffled a bit and went into a horrendous (and probably memorized) angsty speech, "All I wanted was to be near my dearest, my one true love! How could you keep me away from Zoro-kun? Oh, Zoro-kun, why won't you accept our love? We've loved each other in our past lives, it's DESTINY that we live together in this life!"

I shuddered inwardly at that word… Destiny…

---

"Ryu-chan…" The woman said, "Don't ever be sad. We're meant for each other. It's Destiny when we met that day, and now, we'll love each other… forever…"

"Yeah, Chii-chan… Forever…"

---

The gavel suddenly slammed down, ripping me from my weird flashback. It was something… I remember, and yet, something inside me told me to forget… "You okay?" Zoro asked, and I turned to him, blinking, "You look like you saw a ghost."

I turned and stared at Sakura, who was shaking from the gavel's noise, "M… Maybe I did…"

The Judge said, "You're here to tell us some testimony, not to cry about the way defendant isn't returning your affections!" She said, "Now, Prosecution, please, continue."

"…Yeah…" Tashigi replied, adjusting her glasses, "Um… Witness, what are your name and your profession, please?"

Sakura smiled at Tashigi, "Don't be scared, young one," She said, turning to look at me (or maybe just Zoro… I couldn't tell…), "The truth will come out soon." There was silence for a moment, and she smiled, "My name is Sakura Tenshi, and I'm a Mary Sue. My profession…?" She winked in the defense's (Meaning Zoro's and my) direction, "being CUTE!"

I nearly lost all feeling in my legs and I had to slam my hand on the desk before me to keep upright (Although it had a second purpose; now no one noticed the way I was sweating profusely). Why… did this girl make me feel so weird…? "Th… The witness will refrain from HITTING on the defendant. If you don't mind."

"Oh, such a spoil sport…" Sakura replied, looking away and puffing up her cheeks.

"If you don't mind, Sakura, could you please tell us what you saw that night, two days ago?" Tashigi asked, and the Mary Sue smiled once again at the Marine.

"Whatever you say, I'll only tell the truth, cross my heart and hope to die!"

"Please!" Zoro whispered, loud enough for me to hear, "Let her DIE…" I smirked a bit to myself as Sakura began her testimony:

"Let's see…" She said, looking at the ceiling and thinking hard, "It was really dark… it had recently stopped raining…"

She looked back down at the people in the court, and continued, "I was walking down the back alley, because I had smelled Zoro-kun about!"

I followed the smell of my one true love. I had almost gotten to see him when…"

She gave a frightened look, remembering the horror she saw, "I saw Zoro-kun, and that totally un-hot cook, Sanji was next to him!"

"Zoro-kun was holding that Katana in his left hand… but the deed had already been done."

"She gave a fiery look, to heighten the suspense, "Like some scary mystery story, Imra Bid was DEAD!"

"It was absolutely horrible! When I tried to apprehend Zoro-kun, he attacked me and gave me this gash on my arm before I could send the Fangirls in."

"They finally apprehended him, though, and that's how this whole mess started! Or, really… ended…"

I gulped from the testimony given. People were murmuring amongst themselves, although I could distinctly hear Sanji murmur, "Mellorine, Sakura is so wonderful when she's degrading my existence!" The chattering made it hard for me to think, "Contractions, contractions… I need to find a contraction… given the evidence I have…"

"Order! Order in MY court!" The Judge shouted, puffing up her cheeks, "Defense, are you ready to cross-examine the witness?"

("Not reaaaaaally…" I wanted to say) but instead, I said, "I am, Your Honor," Although I couldn't find anything. This evidence… Nothing I have can help this case! Nevertheless, I prepared to cross-examine this witness. If Zoro really WAS innocent, it would be found with a contradiction to this story!

I placed my hands on the desk and looked the witness dead straight in the eye, "Alright then, Sakura, was it? I need to know: How do you SMELL Zoro?" He asked, and the girl smirked, her smiling making me wish I had never taken the case in the first place.

"Zoro-kun has a very… distinct smell, I can tell his location a mile away. I've been trying to find him by traveling from World to World after I was BANISHED by the very woman who created me!"

"Witness, please," The Judge moaned, "Shut up…"

"And, are you sure you saw Sanji with Zoro?" I pointed up towards the audience, where the Straw Hat Pirates sat, "The one with the eye covered by his bangs?"

"I have a photographic memory, of course I'm sure!" She replied tapping the side of her head. She began to sniff, "Why don't you believe me, you meanie?"

"Please, Wright-san, don't make my witness cry," Tashigi said, "She's… delicate…"

"What does that remind me of…?" I wondered.

"Oh! Speaking of photographs! I remember this!" Sakura pulled something out of her cleavage and presented it to the judge, "You see, Miss Judge Lady? It's a photograph of the CRIME SCENE! Oooooh!"

"Hum? Lemme take a look at that…" After further inspection, she nodded, "It certainly does SEEM to be a photograph of the scene of the crime. Here, the defense and prosecution may look at it."

I stared intently at the photograph after Tashigi inspected it (a lot of fiddling with glasses was involved). It was just a picture of the late Imra Bid, dead, stabbed through by a Katana. The weapon was sticking straight up, looking rather like a grotesque grave symbol. The potholes next to her didn't help. They looked like empty graves. I couldn't place my finger on it… but something seemed weird about this picture.

"So… about the sword… How was the defendant holding it…?" I asked, rubbing my chin thoughtfully.

"Objection!" Tashigi cried, "That… doesn't have any relevance to the case! Who cares how the PIRATE was holding his murder weapon?"

"Objection!" I countered, "You cannot slander my client just because of his profession!" I pointed at the prosecutor dramatically, "Should I say next that half Marines in your world are corrupt and enjoy take bribes?"

"You… How DARE YOU!" She screamed in response, "If… Captain Smoker knows about ANYTHING, he would do everything in his power to…"

The gavel banged and the court became quiet, "Mr. Wright, please, don't be stupid. Just tell us. Does the sword's location mean anything to the case?"

"It does, Your Honor," I said with a nod, "Sakura, where was that katana?"

"Jeez, you really need to listen," The witness replied, checking her nails, "He was holding it in his hands, like THIS!" She showed off by holding her hands up, high above her head, as if to bring an imaginary sword down into an imaginary victim.

I shook my head, and opened my eyes, the passion returning in a moment, "Except it COULDN'T happen that way! I OBJECT!" I shouted, looking up at Sakura, who looked at me with those EYES… I nearly lost my nerve, "This… this picture shows an obvious contradiction!" I pointed directly at the witness, who pursed her lips; they were turning white, "You said you saw the victim WITHOUT the sword within her body! Why is it in there now?" She gave a squeal and reeled as if she had been punched in the gut, crying out.

There was a murmur among the people, and I could distinctly hear Robin say, "He certainly knows what to do…"

"Order! Order!" The Judge said, "Jeez, I'm going to have to throw you all out! Seriously! Alright then, Witness, what's up?"

"It's simple, really…" I said, tapping the photo, smirking a bit, "This photograph is a fake! If you'd kindly look at the potholes…"

"Hum…" The Judge stared hard, "What's wrong with them…? They look like grotesque, empty graves."

"That's just IT, Your Honor. They shouldn't be EMPTY, they should be filled with water from the rain! This means this photo was taken AFTER the crime was committed!" I slammed my hands on the desk, "How to you explain that, Ms. Sakura?"

"Uhhh… uuuuggg…?" Sakura groaned, "I don't feel so well…"

"Don't feign sickness, Witness. What did you do with the photo? Did you manipulate it in some way? Hummm…?"

Sakura continued clutching her stomach, her eyes half banked. Even then… she looked absolutely beautiful… She then quickly gained her composure, "It's… simple, really! I… I…!"

"The defense rests for this testimony," I said, "It's too filled with holes to even continue. Next time, Ms. Tenshi," I pointed my finger at her accusingly, "tell us the TRUTH!"

"K… KYAAAAAA!" Sakura screamed, nearly dropping to the floor. She had to grab the podium to keep upright, "You… monster! How DARE you pick on a poor young woman?" She began to moan, and big, silvery tears fell from her face, "You can't just tell me I'm a liar! That's the long nose's job!"

"People are going to call you a liar if you lie, Witness," The Judge said, sighing a bit, "Now, you have to tell us what REALLY happened. Alright?"

"What… really happened? About that dumb photo? A…" She looked away, stood upright, and faced back towards the judge, "Alright, I'll do it…"

"You see, when I heard the first scream, I rushed towards the scene. I… I saw a katana sticking from the victim's body."

"I… used my Devil Fruit power, you see… to make the water in the potholes dry up."

"I wanted to make sure the blood didn't seep into the water. That's it!"

"I then took a picture, and I hid away, because I heard that the murderer always returns to the scene of a crime!"

She looked away, a little sadly, "But, I couldn't believe it when I saw Sanji and Zoro-Kun. I really, couldn't believe it was Zoro-Kun!"

"However, he picked up that katana; his fingerprints are on that katana and not Sanji's fingerprints…"

"So it must not be the cook. It HAS to be Zoro-Kun!"

"I see," The Judge muttered, "So you went there before hand and… changed the crime scene? Witness, that is a terrible offense to change a crime scene like that!"

"But, Your Honor! I was only trying to HELP the Fangirls. If there's too much water in the blood, it's hard to take a test with forensics!" Sakura said, shining a brilliantly winning smile, "I wasn't forging evidence or anything, I was being helpful!"

("What are 'Devil Fruit powers'?" I cried to myself.) Then, regaining my composure, I began the cross-examination, "Sakura, about your 'Devil Fruit powers'…"

"Ahhh, yes," Sakura replied, smiling, "You don't know the first thing about Devil Fruits, huh? You see, when you eat a fruit of the devil, you gain special powers, but you lose the ability to swim in sea water. That saying, my Devil Fruit is called the Element Element Fruit. It gives me the power to control all the elements in any way I desire, and it gives me telekinesis, so I simply made the sun shine right where the water was and had it evaporate."

("But telekinesis doesn't have anything to DO with the Elements!" I said inwardly). Shaking my head, I continued, "But Sakura, why didn't you SAY anything? You could have called for help!"

"But the Marines can't fight evil people. Only I'm strong enough to fight evil murderers!"

Tashigi looked away, "We can too fight… we need to…" She murmured, and for the first time, I noticed that Tashigi was a devoted officer of the law…

"Either way," Sakura said, "I stayed because I know I could have overpowered the murderer once he appeared again. I let the Fangirls handle Zoro, though… I couldn't bring myself to subdue him with my brand of Santouryuu, although it would be very easy…" I sweated a bit. Was there NOTHING this woman couldn't do?

"But something seems really strange…" I thought, "Something's wrong, but…" I continued to sweat when I realized, "I can't find out WHAT is wrong…!"

"Well, Mr. Wright?" The Judge said, "If there's nothing to be gained from this cross-examination, we can assume that the witness' testimony is rock solid. Which means only one thing. She DID see the defendant killing the victim, which means that…"

"No! No!" I whined, getting cold and clammy as the woman began to bring her gavel down, "There must be something! Something!"

"This court finds the defendant, Roronoa Zoro…"

"Bastard!" Zoro growled gutturally at me, "DO something!"

"I've got to do something, now!" Before the gavel fell, I slammed my hands on the desk, "OBJECTION!" The gavel stopped, hovering just inches in the air.

"What is it NOW, Mr. Wright?" Tashigi said, sounding angry, she was even adjusting her glasses with irritancy.

"Your Honor, the witness is clearly lying." I looked as determined as I could, but Sakura looked absolutely enraged, "This piece of evidence proves it!"

The Judge looked sad that she couldn't pound her gavel, and she began twirling it again, "What are you talking about, Mr. Wright? WHAT piece of evidence proves WHAT?"

"Uh…" I sifted through everything I had, "Um…"

"Your Honor…" Tashigi addressed the Judge, "Mr. Wright OBVIOUSLY is only stalling for time. Please, if you will, just give us the verdict and let us go on with our lives."

"We can't rule out any possibility!" I said aloud, "I think I know what I can use now. Here it is. The contradiction in her testimony!"

"You lie. You don't have anything," Sakura said, although I could tell that beads of sweat were accumulating on her forehead.

"Your honor, I present to you, the murder weapon!"

"Whoopdeefeakingdoo," The Judge replied, "What's so special about it NOW?"

"The fact of the matter is," I said, gaining confidence with each new word I spoke, "Sakura said that she was waiting for the murderer to return. Not only did TWO people arrive on the scene, but she clearly testified that during the sighting of the two pirates, Zoro PICKED UP THE MURDER WEAPON!"

"And that means…?"

"It's simple, really, if Zoro picked it up now, and left fingerprints, what's to say he ever picked it up in the first place when he apparently 'stabbed' the victim? The answer? He never DID!"

There was a murmur among the audience. Zoro looked like he was regaining composure, as he was apparently blacking out during parts of this trial, "Objection!" Tashigi shouted, looking terribly angry, "That's… purely speculation! He could have picked it up twice with his left hand! Do you have evidence to support your claim?"

"I don't need evidence," I said, shaking my head, "More of Sakura's testimony is enough." I put my hands on my hips, a cocky grin lighting up my face, "If there were 'Two People' who returned to the crime scene, what stops Sanji, the cook, from being a suspect?"

"Bastard!" Sanji roared from the audience, "You want some of this, saying I'M the murderer? I'll cut you into little pieces and feed you to the crows! EXTRA CRISPY!" I began to sweat. Maybe that wasn't the smartest thing to say.

"Order! Order in the court, dangit!" The Judge shouted, banging her gavel (which seemed to make her a little happier), "What are you saying, Mr. Wright? Are you saying Sanji was the one who killed the victim?"

"I didn't mean it that way, your honor," I said, sweating bullets, "I just mean that there are plenty of possibilities that can be brought up through the evidence given. We shouldn't even rule out that the real murderer was wearing gloves!"

"But who could be wearing gloves that day who had met with the victim? The answer is none," Tashigi said, wagging her finger at me, "Shame on you for throwing out useless suggestions."

"HOLD IT!" Everyone gasped. Who could have shouted that? They looked around, and suddenly there was a "THUD". I moaned as Monkey D. Luffy leapt up from the ground, because he had fallen from the raised audience seats, "I know who was wearing gloves that had seen the witness that day! I know!"

"Monkey D. Luffy, you have something to say about this trial? You're a witness as well?" The Judge said, frowning in thought at the young captain. Sakura hissed under her breath, but at Zoro's features tugged to make a slight smile ("Oh SURE," I thought, "Put your trust in a guy who doesn't know the first thing about law!").

"I don't know ANYTHING about law!" Luffy said, giving evidence to my thought, "But I do know that if there's someone who's witnessed something, he should witness! Isn't that true, Judge Lady?"

"Luffy!" I cried hoarsely, "it's 'Your Honor'!"

"Are you saying, Monkey D. Luffy, that you're a witness to this murder?" The Judge asked.

"Well, I guess you could say that," Luffy said, "You see, the lady, Imra or whatever, and I were playing tag in the town on the day she died!"

"Your Honor!" I cried, pointing directly at the chuckling captain dramatically, "I request that you allow Monkey D. Luffy to testify before the Court of Law!"

"This is turning out weirder than I expected this case to be…" Tashigi muttered, adjusting her glasses and gasping when they fell from her face.

"What are you pulling, you stupid rubber monkey?" Sakura hissed as Tashigi groped for her glasses, finally finding them, and replacing them on her face.

"Nothing," Luffy replied with a smile, revealing his hands, palm faces up, "My hands are empty!" The silly reply both made me feel slightly happy he was witnessing… but also made me afraid this would turn out worse than it already was…

"Alright then," The Judge slammed her gavel down, "Court is in recess! The witness will refrain from speaking with either the Defense or the Prosecution. Alright?"

"Right!" Luffy said as the people in the audience stood and everyone shuffled from the courtroom…

---

January 18, 3:22
Fangirl Order Headquarters
Defendant Lobby No. 2

"What's going on here…?" Zoro asked, his fingers drumming against his arm, "What's going on with Luffy?"

"Don't worry, the bailiffs don't just randomly kill people, no matter if they're pirates or not," I replied, "It's just supposed to be a procedure to make sure that I don't feed him lines. You know, don't poison the well?" I tried to continue, but Zoro didn't seem to be buying it, "Besides, your captain seems to get along with everyone. It'll be fine."

"Well then, what's the plan?" The swordsman asked.

"Well, since you ARE innocent…" I muttered, in deep thought, "Then Luffy's testimony will be able to contradict Sakura's, and then… Well… HOPEFULLY things will turn out okay afterwards."

"What was that?" Zoro growled, "Are you insinuating something…?"

"…Nothing…" I looked away, sighing. Well, really, all we had to do now was leave it up to Luffy's testimony. If he could help this case, then that was all I could ever ask for…

…

To Be Continued…

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Originally I was going to make it even longer than this (one chapter for each day), but this came out way too long. Expect other days to be separated as such. Review and all that jazz or something!