"You wake every morning to fight the same demons

That left you so tired the night before,

And that, my dear, is bravery."

-Unknown

Chapter Twenty – Broken Dams

"How could you?"

Her words, while quiet, were full of anger. Caryssa was furious, completely and utterly livid. In fact, she could not remember a single moment that she had ever been this angry at her brother and her mother. The pair of them eyed her with concern from across the table, seeing the fire in her eyes and her clenched fists and knew that they were in for a fight.

"We had to cross the Twins. You know that Walder Frey always demands a toll." Robb answered, then winced as he realized just how badly he had phrased that. He was lucky to be wearing his armor, because he wasn't certain if her love for him would be enough to stop her from trying to stab him.

"So…instead of gold or some land in the north, you gave him our sister?" Caryssa's voice had risen at the end so she was almost shouting the words at them.

Catelyn squeezed her eyes closed and counted to ten, knowing that her daughter was really upset by this and needed to be handled in a calm manner so she wasn't agitated further.

"It was the only way. Daughters have been given away for alliances for centuries. It's just how the world is." Catelyn stated, her voice even and calm, even when she saw her daughter's expression darken.

"Is that what you tell yourself to ease your guilt, Mother? 'It's just how the world is'. Does that bring you comfort when you know that Sansa is trapped in King's Landing, betrothed to a boy who disembowels his brother's pets and thinks people's pain is a funny joke. Will that ease your mind when this war is over and Arya resents you for marrying her to a Frey boy when she didn't want that life?" Caryssa questioned, her voice oddly calmer than it had been, though her face betrayed just how disgusted she was. The world was wrong and one day, if Caryssa ever had children of her own, she would not force her children to marry for anything other than love. The way the world should work. "Did it bring you comfort when you were riding away from King's Landing, knowing that in a couple of days I would be marrying the Kingslayer, my virtue taken by a man I did not love?"

"That is not fair-" Catelyn started, but her daughter cut her off.

"Do not speak to me of what is fair. You sold your daughter like a slave for a bridge! A bridge, Mother. Arya is not even here to speak in defense of herself. That is unfair."

Before Robb or Catelyn could defend themselves, Theon sauntered into the tent, a sealed letter in his hand, and all three Stark's shot him murderous glances, angry that he had interrupted what was clearly a private family discussion.

"What do you want, Theon?" Caryssa demanded, and Theon looked at her in surprise. She hadn't called him by his first name in years. She was too angry with the family sitting before her to even bother to participate in her usual hatred for the Kraken.

"A raven from King's Landing." Theon handed the paper over to Robb, who opened it quickly, wondering if it was another letter from Sansa. Maybe there had been news of Arya's whereabouts.

Caryssa watched as her brother's eyes scanned the page, and she could pinpoint the exact moment she saw his face pale and his eyes dull at whatever news he had been given. He was silent as he dropped the letter to the table and stormed out of the tent, Theon following him and asking him what was wrong. Caryssa quickly snatched the letter up and read it herself.

Eddard Stark,

former Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North,

has been executed for his treason by order of Joffrey Baratheon,

First of His Name,

King of the Seven Kingdoms.

Long live the King.

Caryssa read those few words over and over again, until her vision was too blurry to see them anymore.

A note with just thirty five words had broken her heart and destroyed her world. The young she-wolf felt like she couldn't breathe. Her free hand moved to her chest, her nails digging absently into her skin as though she could claw the pain out with bloodied fingers.

"What does it say? Why did Robb leave like that?" Catelyn asked, gasping when she saw the devastation in her daughter's eyes.

Caryssa's anger had melted away and had been replaced by pure heartbreak. The one other person she was closer to in this world than Robb was her father and now he was gone and Caryssa couldn't even find the words to tell her mother.

So she didn't.

She handed the note over to her mother, not even bothering to hide her tears in front of her. This was not the time for vanity or pride.

Catelyn read it once, twice, three times before she crumpled it and tossed it away, her entire being in pain right to her soul.

"They killed him," Catelyn looked up at her daughter, who was staring at the table and she knew that, despite the tears rolling down her pale cheeks, Caryssa was holding most of her pain back. "They killed him. Father's dead."

Caryssa repeated the words over and over, aloud and in her head, and they still did not seem real. She could not fathom a world in which Ned Stark did not exist. As a child, you always believe that your parents are immortal beings that will not die and leave you, and while Caryssa was old enough to not believe that fairytale anymore, she also couldn't believe that her father had been killed.

He had fought in wars against men bigger and stronger than him and had walked away from them. He had battled wildlings and hunted bears and mountain lions and had never been harmed. How could he have been killed at the order of a boy who had never fought a day in his life?

Catelyn moved around the table, sat on the bench beside her and pulled her daughter into her arms.

Which is when the dam broke inside Caryssa and the flood began.

She sobbed onto her mother's shoulder, big, hearty cries, not caring that Robb's men outside the tent may hear her. Her father had been killed and nothing like that mattered anymore. Not her pride, not her vanity.

She was just a broken, damaged girl crying over the loss of her father, seeking comfort from her mother.

"They killed him!"

"We will avenge him, my love," Catelyn's voice was hard, harder than her daughter had ever heard it, and as strong as steel. "We'll show them just what the Wolves of Winter will do when they hurt us."

Caryssa nodded against her mother's shoulder, her breathing still harsh

She would show them.

The wolves would come for them.

And the lions would die screaming.

Once her mother had left the tent to search for Robb, Caryssa threw on her cloak and tied her sword about her waist and stormed out of Robb's personal tent, only once her tears had dried, with Rhaenyra in close pursuit.

It was dark and several fires had been lit, but Caryssa did not give the change of hour any attention, deciding to put her efforts to avoiding as many of Robb's men as possible.

She did not succeed.

Everyone she encountered gave her their condolences, having heard the news from Robb or Theon or perhaps her mother, and she nodded gracefully as a way of thanks to any who did, though she did not smile. On the outside, she imagined she looked like the ice lady everyone thought her to be, but on the inside, she was lost and fragile and broken.

Some of the Lords must have expected her to stop and talk to them, really listen to their condolences and thank them for their service to her father, but she did not.

Caryssa had someone else to speak to and she would not waste her words on anyone else.

She marched past everyone until she was deep within the camp and was near to the place the prisoners were kept. Her pace slowed as she approached him, her footsteps quiet but for the sound of leaves crunching underneath her boots. That coupled with the soft growls rising out of Rhaenyra's throat alerted the man she had come to see to her presence.

"I was wondering when they would allow you to come visit me. I didn't think it would be this soon-" Jaime cut himself off, seeing the red rims around his wife's eyes and having already heard the news about the newly departed Ned Stark. She was closest to her father out of all of his children and Jaime knew that his death would come at a heavy personal price to her. "I am sorry to hear about-"

"I'm going to kill them," Caryssa interrupted him, her voice taking on a quality not unlike her mother's had earlier. Hard, cold, detached, unfeeling. "I'm going to kill them all. Cersei, Joffrey, Tywin…They are going to die by my hand and I will make sure they die screaming."

Jaime stared at her, wide-eyed and in a state of disbelief and shock.

He knew that his wife enjoyed more male pursuits, like hunting and politics, but she had always hated death. He knew that from the guilt he saw in her eyes when she told the story of the first man she killed, and how she barely spoke after her friend Jory's death and killing the soldier who had stabbed her father. Killing was not something she relished in, not like him. She did not wish to be a soldier or a warrior, like her little sister had. That was not why she had learned how to shoot a bow or wield a dagger. Caryssa had only wished to have the means to protect herself, as she thought all women should have.

The woman standing before him sounded all too eager to end the lives of his family. This new Caryssa was bloodthirsty and chomping at the bit to see Joffrey, Cersei and Tywin dead, but strangest of all, she wanted to be the one to do it.

Jaime knew better than most the pain of losing a parent and how it could change a person if they were not prepared for it. He hadn't been and Caryssa certainly wasn't. It hadn't been Lady Joanna's time when she died, and it had not been Ned Stark's time either, and he knew how close she was to him. He knew that Caryssa idolized her father, respected him and adored him, perhaps even more than she loved the brother who had him chained to this post.

But he never believed that Lord Stark's death could push her to such a dark place.

"I can't let you do that." Jaime finally said. Not just for the sake of his family, but for Caryssa's own sake as well.

His feelings had grown exponentially for his little wife over the course of their short marriage. She was no longer just an amusement to him, a distraction from his ended relationship to Cersei. Caryssa meant more to him now. He just didn't know what the feelings were exactly. It was different from what he felt for his sister, that was for certain, but it was just as strong.

Caryssa looked at him, her blue eyes usually so light seeming dull and darker than usual, and her gaze left him feeling cold. The Ice Maiden, Jaime mused, colder than the lands beyond the Wall.

An odd, weak smile spread across her lips, though it felt wrong to be smiling with how she was feeling on the inside, and she watched confusion sweep across her husband's face.

"They killed my father. They have my sisters," Caryssa stepped closer to him, and then dropped to her knees in front of him, not caring about the mud that would surely cake her skirts now, and she cupped his dirty cheeks between her hands. "What do expect me to do, Jaime? When you believed my mother would kill Tyrion, you immediately sought revenge. Why do you expect me to do any differently?"

"Because you are a good woman, you aren't a murderer," Caryssa shook her head at his words, her hands sliding away from his face and to her sides. She was. She had taken more lives than she had ever wanted to. The guard at Winterfell, the Lannister guard who speared her father in the leg, the guard who tried to kill her in her tent, and a few in the battle. Caryssa knew that there was blood on her hands that wouldn't wash away and guilt that would never leave her because of it. Jaime could see where her mind had gone and shook his head. "You aren't. Lives taken in self-defense do not count. There was no malice behind them…well most of them. What you should seek for your father is justice, not vengeance, just like he did for his father, brother and sister. Because that is what Stark's do, isn't it? Fight honorably and seek justice. Leave the vengeance to darker, more twisted people, like me."

Caryssa stared at him, tears welling up in her blue eyes once more. That's all she seemed to be doing recently. Crying like a child. Gritting her teeth to try and stave off the tears, she took in his words. Even though she thought she had gone to him with the intention of taunting him with her plans for his family, she realized that what she really sought was advice.

Like her mother and father would, she thought numbly.

Even though Jaime sometimes played the fool, he was anything but, and his words did resonate with the part of her that was screaming for good and clean justice, instead of the more immoral, messy and altogether painful vengeance the other half of her was crying out for.

She was a Stark and, be him alive or dead, she was still the daughter of Eddard Stark. She knew that her father had been welcomed by the Gods in the Seven Heavens and was watching over her, so she had to live her life as honorably as she could.

After a long while, Caryssa nodded and Jaime's body relaxed.

When he had looked at her a moment ago, he saw a dark haired version of Cersei; vengeful and hate filled.

It had surprised him how unsettling that had been.

"Lady Caryssa!" They both snapped their heads towards the voice, and saw Lord Umber standing just a distance behind her, his son, the Smalljon, beside him. Caryssa rose to her feet, brushing off the mud from her skirts the best she could before she turned to face them. "You should not be here alone. He'll try to poison your mind with his lies."

"If you believe that anything I say could influence my wife to do anything or believe anything…you do not know her very well, do you, Umber?" Jaime forced a smirk onto his face, as he watched his wife step closer to his enemies and further away from him.

"I've always taken everything my husband says with a grain of salt, Lord Umber. I'm not a naïve child," Caryssa replied, her voice dull and cold once more. "Has Robb returned to camp with my mother?"

"Yes, he asked for us to find you. There is to be a war council in his tent, my lady." Smalljon informed her, and she gave him a wane smile that lacked warmth.

"Then we should not keep him waiting," Caryssa said, twisting her head round so she could look at Jaime once more. "I got what I needed here. Goodbye, Ser Jaime."

"Until next time, Lady Caryssa."

A/N:

Hello, lovely people of the internet!

Once again, I am so sorry for the wait, and for how short this thing is. I keep promising long chapters and then only ending up with short ones. I really just haven't had a lot of inspiration recently for my more medieval-based stories. I've mostly been writing Marvel and The Walking Dead stuff, so I am sorry for the shortness and probable lack of quality with this new chapter.

But Ned is dead. Sad stuff, and I tried to convey Caryssa's sadness with this. I don't know if I did it well, because I've just not been in the zone the past couple of months. Basically what I was trying to get across is that Ned's murder has hit her hard, and that will be displayed more over the coming chapter. Despite the conversation with Jaime, Caryssa will still be torn between wanting revenge and taking the higher road to justice.

Oh and Caryssa found out about the price Robb and Catelyn had to pay for crossing the Twins, and was not happy in the slightest after having been forced into a marriage herself and knowing how badly Arya wanted to follow her own path. Though it's not mentioned in this chapter, she is equally unhappy that Robb gave up his chance at finding true love like she had always wanted for him and settling for an arranged marriage for an alliance and a crossing. That will come up a little later.

Reviewers for the last chapter are very much loved by me and were these beautiful people:

DarylDixon'sLover, Sparky She-Demon, lisamariem, NicoleR85, Arianna Le Fay, MADStar529, Guest (1), shika93, Guest (2), Sarah423, Lucy Greenhill, HermioneandMarcus, FlammableBatman978 and MonsterxChild.

Thank you guys so much for reviewing and to all my new followers as well!

The next update will hopefully be on August 24th, so watch out for it.

Thanks for reading, guys,

SophStratt.