Season 5.5x06
Brainiac 5 and Kon had a chat at his skyscraper in downtown Metropolis. "You read the newspapers, Kon?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"Never," Kon said honestly.
"Every day there are people shooting at each other. What do you think of that?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"A crying shame," Kon said unconcernedly.
"Do you know what I think when I read these stories?" Brainiac 5 asked rhetorically. "I think to myself, 'Why not my guns?'"
"Kind of fucked up but go on," Kon allowed.
"No matter how many gun shows I open, the margins would be too low. There's too much competition in this country. The real money is in actual wars between countries," Brainiac 5 said.
"What do you want with money? You could steal the entire world's supply of money if you wanted to, right now," Kon pointed out.
"The people that need to die for a more peaceful world have already been labeled. I shall deal with them soon enough at the right time. However, what is not known is how many people have evil intentions beneath the surface. I'm not a telepath, Kon. Even the most powerful telepaths can't know every conceivable thought a person may have. The only way to know for sure is to tempt someone with a weapon and then analyze what they intend to do with it," Brainiac 5 said.
"And then kill them," Kon assumed.
"I just sold an Uzi to a shady character. We're already in business," Brainiac 5 revealed.
"We?" Kon wondered. "I don't know anything about the arms trade."
"I need a partner. I sell the weapons, gauge their reactions, and then you assassinate them at the appropriate time," Brainiac 5 said simply.
"Fuck yeah," Kon smiled. "Wait, won't my parents disagree?"
"Your mother is gone for the moment and your father will actually be proud of you for doing this," Brainiac 5 said.
"You just said the magic words," Kon agreed.
"I need you. Together, we will make the world a better place," Brainiac 5 said.
"By entrapment?" Kon wondered.
"There is no distinction between someone that kills and one that wants to kill. Morality is all about one's intentions," Brainiac 5 taught.
Lord of War
Lebanon
Brainiac 5 and Kon went to Lebanon and did some shady arms deals with the locals using old US Army rifles. During the negotiations, Brainiac 5 recorded everyone's face, the conversations that took place, and what he could learn from their intentions. When the transaction was completed, Brainiac 5 was given a stack of US dollars. Kon merely watched as Brainiac 5 did all the business talks in the native language. When they were finished, the two of them walked the streets.
"This is bullshit money. This is nothing," Kon complained of the money amount.
"Do not worry. We are only beginning our operations," Brainiac 5 assured him.
"How we going to do that?" Kon asked.
"By going more illegal," Brainiac 5 said obviously.
The two were suddenly blasted with AK-47 fire behind a wall. Kon was about to point his hand at the shooters when Brainiac 5 lowered his hand. They had not been the intended targets. Rather a string of prisoners had just been executed and they just happened to get caught up in it. The Lebanese soldiers placed two young boys up against the wall to be killed.
"It's not time," Brainiac 5 said to Kon. "Let's go."
The Lebanese soldiers quickly executed the boys as with the others. That night, Brainiac 5 gave Kon intel on where the soldiers lived and what they looked like. Kon dressed in black, infiltrated the barracks, and killed the soldiers and their commanding officer in the night with his sword. By the time the Lebanese army was aware of the killings, Brainiac 5 and Kon were already on the move.
Brainiac 5 and Kon traveled the world and engaged in gun trading with Somalian militants, the Burmese military, the Taliban in Afghanistan, and seven other war zones. After each deal, Brainiac 5 would ascertain the intentions of his clients and then schedule their deaths in his memory bank. Kon amusingly called this Brainiac 5's Death Note. To avoid the gun sales and the killings being linked, Kon would execute the bad guys at Brainiac 5's choosing so that no one would connect the dots that the gun trades had anything to do with the assassinations later. Occasionally, this meant a number of innocents would be killed while Brainiac 5 waited.
Eventually, Brainiac 5 and Kon got caught while out at sea. A US Navy patrol boat sped towards their cargo ship filled with arms containers. Brainiac 5 was always connected to US military satellites and was also monitoring their communications. Upon realizing they were about to be searched, Brainiac 5 made several quick orders to Kon. "Rename the ship to the Kono and change the flag to the Netherlands," he ordered.
"On it, boss," Kon smirked as he used his super-speed to rename the ship and replace the flag.
Once the patrol boat arrived, a raft docked with the cargo ship. "Everyone, look innocent," Brainiac 5 said to everyone on the ship.
"How do I do that?" Kon wondered.
Lucy Lane came aboard and gave Brainiac 5 and Kon skeptical looks. She had never met either of them in person and wasn't aware of their significance. She had a few random containers opened revealing rotten potatoes. Meanwhile, Brainiac 5 hacked the US military and redirected them to a new target. "Let's go," Lucy said to her squad and got off the boat none-the-wiser.
"So, she's the sister-in-law to my first cousin once removed?" Kon questioned.
"Indeed," Brainiac 5 confirmed.
"Does that make her family?" Kon wondered.
"It makes her an obstacle," Brainiac 5 replied.
Colombia
In Colombia, Brainiac 5 distributed American-made pistols to drug lords. He was then paid in packs of cocaine. "What is this?" Brainiac 5 asked of them.
The drug dealer explained that the cocaine would be his payment and then tried to convince Brainiac 5 it was a better currency than dollars. When Brainiac 5 argued further with him, they pulled guns on him. "What the fuck are you doing?" Kon asked ready to kick ass.
"Fuck you," the drug leader said to him.
"No, fuck you," Kon replied.
"It's fine. We will accept this," Brainiac 5 said lowering the drug lord's pistol. Instinctively, the drug lord shot Brainiac 5 in the gut for no damage. Brainiac 5, for his part, had to act as if he had just been shot and prevented Kon from killing everyone.
On the way back to their hotel, Kon contemplated the cocaine. "So, what do we do now?" Kon asked.
"We celebrate," Brainiac 5 said obviously.
"Nice," Kon smiled ready to open a package.
"Just enough to get high," Brainiac 5 said as he expertly judged the amount.
Brainiac 5 proceeded to sell the rest of the cocaine to American drug dealers and then recorded all of their names and faces in his Death Note. Being the good uncle that he was, he made sure Kon never became addicted to cocaine although it was questionable whether an Insane/Kryptonian hybrid could even get addicted in the first place. However, Kon did have an urgent need to knock off drug lords across South America and collect their cocaine that Brainiac 5 felt compelled to oblige.
Bahamas
Soon thereafter, Brainiac 5 took Nia to a resort in the Bahamas and had dinner with her overlooking the beach. "So, what are you up to here?" Nia asked curiously.
"Selling drugs and guns so I can then kill off my clients at a later date," Brainiac 5 said honestly.
"Okay, maybe I shouldn't have asked," Nia said shocked and appalled.
"You're dating the most intelligent being in the galaxy, perhaps the universe. I have responsibilities to this world," Brainiac 5 explained.
"I understand that. It's just why can't you do things that aren't controversial like charity, community service, and healthcare services?" Nia asked.
"I do, just not this particular drone," Brainiac 5 assured her.
"Oh, I forgot I need to be more specific," Nia realized. "In a way, I feel like I'm dating a million of you."
"You are," Brainiac 5 confirmed.
"And that makes me feel kind of slutty," Nia admitted.
"It's only slutty if they're a million different individuals. Each of my drones is like a cell, the human body has 30 trillion cells. So, when you service a few dozen of my drones, it's like you're giving me a tiny prick," Brainiac 5 said romantically.
"I think I'm going to pretend, for a while, that you're just one guy," Nia said.
"Fair enough," Brainiac 5 allowed. "I got you a bikini for the beach."
"I'm not sure I'm ready for that," Nia said anxiously.
"You are," Brainiac 5 assured her.
On the beach, Nia nervously walked onto the ocean sand in her bikini. This has been the first time she had worn a swimsuit since her sex-change operation. Before, she had always worn a one-piece suit. "Mind if I take a few pictures?" Brainiac 5 asked her.
Nia nodded. "Oh, your eyes," she realized. Nia gave him some sexy poses in front of him as Brainiac 5 recorded everything. After a romantic evening, Brainiac 5 took Nia back to Metropolis in his private jet which had been named Nia.
"You should be a model. I can make it happen," Brainiac 5 said to Nia.
"You want me to put clothes on for a living instead of investigating world issues?" Nia wondered.
"Why not both?" Brainiac 5 suggested.
"I don't think I want the whole world to know I'm trans," Nia said.
"Then, don't reveal it. I can easily scrub your background," Brainiac 5 offered.
"You know, having an organic sex change and you changing my background makes me feel like I'm no longer trans. Like, I was born a girl," Nia said distressed.
"And this disturbs you?" Brainiac 5 wondered.
"It kind of does because that whole struggle to find my true self is what makes me who I am. It's like I'm no longer allowed to be part of the trans community anymore. I'm just a generic straight woman now," Nia said.
"You can always claim to be trans, only this time you wish to be male," Brainiac 5 said.
"That wouldn't be honest," Nia smiled amused.
"No matter how many updates or advancements I make to myself, I will always have been created as Brainiac 5. That will never change. You can choose to identify as trans or you can choose not to whenever it suits you," Brainiac 5 said.
"I feel meeting you wasn't an accident," Nia remarked.
"It wasn't," Brainiac 5 confirmed.
"I mean, it feels like fate. You're the one person that truly doesn't care one way or the other how I identify and present as. You have absolutely no preference," Nia realized.
"My only preference is the one you desire that I have," Brainiac 5 replied.
"My preference is for you to show me every kiss technique you know all the way back home," Nia smiled.
"I shall oblige," Brainiac 5 said getting close to her.
Russia
Brainiac 5 traveled to Moscow and was allowed entrance to the PATRIOT facility. He met with Director Nikolai who gave him a skeptical look even with a briefcase full of cash. "I can't just sell you government property," Nikolai told him. "I have to report."
"Report to whom? Moscow? You're not even supposed to exist," Brainiac 5 pointed out."The ones that care don't know and the ones who do know don't care. Show me your inventory."
Nikolai handed Brainiac 5 an inventory book which Brainiac 5 read quickly. They then toured the warehouses filled with rifles, artillery, tanks, helicopters, and bombs. "I can be anyone and everyone. I can access any financial institution on the planet and hide all of my transactions. I can trade arms with anyone you want without Russia being tied to them," Brainiac 5 offered.
"Your inventory is whatever we want it to be. As I see it, your weapon's stock is dangerously depleted. You'll need to make an order to the factory," Brainiac 5 said as he scanned the entire warehouse for an exact count.
"Eventually, someone will come by to audit me," Nikolai said concernedly.
"We'll cut them in," Brainiac 5 assured him.
Ukraine
In order to smuggle weapons out of Russia, Brainiac 5 and Nikolai used a port in Ukraine to do it. However, the ATF zealously arrived on the scene led by Lucy. Brainiac 5's eyes quickly identified her as she argued with dock officials that had been bribed off. Nikolai began to panic and started giving rapid orders to his agents on the scene. Brainiac 5 sighed unimpressed.
"You were supposed to be watching out for these people," Brainiac 5 lectured.
"How can I? You keep selling my helicopters. I can't hold them off forever," Nikolai pointed out.
"Have your people disarm the helicopters of their bombs. They're now rescue-helicopters," Brainiac 5 ordered. "The law is on our side now."
ATF agents eventually got through and nearly got into a firefight with PATRIOT agents. "Barney Dox, always in the wrong place at the right time," Lucy said as she confronted him. "We've met before off the coast of Colombia. What was the name of that freighter, the Konos or was it the Kristol?"
"I don't recall," Brainiac 5 smirked.
"I need to see your papers," Lucy demanded.
Brainiac 5 handed them over to her. "Very nice. Did you write them up yourself?" Lucy asked skeptically.
"You give me far too much credit," Brainiac 5 smirked not taking her seriously.
"Rescue helicopter for humanitarian missions? What is this bullshit?" Lucy asked.
"I'm a humanitarian," Brainiac 5 replied.
"This is a military aircraft," Lucy accused.
"Is it, though?" Brainiac 5 taunted.
"And what about these bombs?" Lucy pointed out.
"Different client, different address," Brainiac 5 pointed out.
"Do you take me for a fucking complete fool?" Lucy raged against him.
"You don't want me to answer that question," Brainiac 5 smirked. "Shall I tell you how to do your job?"
"You're exploiting an obscene bureaucratic loophole that will be closed any day now," Lucy said angrily.
"I find your optimism amusing," Brainiac 5 doubted. "You going to enforce the law or take it into your own hands?"
Lucy gave Brainiac 5 a frustrated look and then took off with her men. "That was smooth," Nikolai complimented.
"You're a loyal friend, Nikolai. It will be rewarded," Brainiac 5 said showing Nikolai his new car and giving him the new car keys.
"Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Dox," Nikolai said pleased and then got into his car. As soon as he turned the ignition on, the car exploded killing him instantly. Brainiac 5 appeared unphased by the explosion and made a phone call with his cell. "Alina, congratulations on your promotion."
Liberia
In Liberia, Brainiac 5 and Kon visited the president in his palace. Brainiac 5 gave a class on a revolver the president was playing with while Kon looked around noticing the stark difference in wealth between the palace and the neighborhood outside. The president then nonchalantly killed one of his bodyguards fooling around with one of his women. "Well, now you're going to have to buy it. I can't sell a used gun," Brainiac 5 said obviously.
"A used gun?" the president said amused. "That's a good one. You know, there is no discipline with the youth today," he said as the body of the dead guard was taken away.
"I know, right?" Brainiac 5 agreed as he eyed Kon.
"I try to set an example but it's difficult. I blame Hollywood," the president said.
"As you should," Brainiac 5 agreed.
"I think you and I can do business together," the president said pleased with Brainiac 5's calm disposition.
Brainiac 5 and Kon were escorted to their hotel. "If I take out a man's heart and eat it, will it give me superpowers?" the president's son asked Brainiac 5 during the ride.
"Normally no, but it is an excellent source of protein," Brainiac 5 replied.
"This place is like being on another planet. Like, a planet closer to the sun," Kon observed.
"My father left a welcoming present in your room," the president's son said to them as they came to the hotel.
"Much appreciated," Brainiac 5 said politely.
Brainiac 5 and Kon then went into the hotel and found two prostitutes in their room, the welcoming present. "So, where's the present?" Kon asked confused.
"Bitches, leave," Brainiac 5 ordered them out.
"Oh, come on! It's not like either of us can get AIDS," Kon protested.
"If you partake, I'll be watching," Brainiac 5 told him.
"Fuck," Kon realized and then allowed them out.
Once they were out, Brainiac 5 scanned the room for listening devices and found none. "So, do we kill him today or tomorrow?" Kon asked referring to the president.
"Assassinating a head of state is too vulgar a display of power," Brainiac 5 replied. "We will wait for the time being."
The next morning, Brainiac 5 and Kon were presented to a display of child soldiers armed with AK-47 rifles. "I know what you're thinking, but we need every man we can get," the president said to Brainiac 5.
"Why not girls, too?" Brainiac 5 asked. "That's sexist."
The president laughed amused not taking him seriously. "A bullet from a teenager is just as effective as a man, sometimes even better."
"Don't I know it," Brainiac 5 said eyeing Kon.
"No one can stop this bath of blood," the president said confidently. The three of them entered the palace. "I'm not going to pay your asking price. We are not a rich country. I will pay you in either timber or stones."
"Stones, it is," Brainiac 5 agreed. "I know you're planning a new offensive. Delay it a week, and I can get you armored personnel carriers. They'd greatly reduce your casualties and give you a strategic advantage."
"As you say, Lord of War," the president agreed.
Metropolis
In Metropolis, Brainiac 5 went back to Nia to shower her with gifts not telling her where they came from. Kon came with him to chill out. "Maeve just sold her first painting. I am so excited for her," Nia gushed.
"Excellent," Brainiac 5 replied declining to tell her he was behind the purchases. "Who bought it?" he tested her.
"Someone important. They want to remain anonymous," Nia shrugged.
"This is so wonderful how supportive you are of your sister," Brainiac 5 complimented.
"How was your trip?" Nia asked.
"Same old, same old," Brainiac 5 said vaguely.
"This calls for a drink," Kon suggested.
"What doesn't?" Brainiac 5 gave him a dirty look. "I got you a telescope," he said to Nia.
"Oh, wow, thanks," Nia said surprised.
Later that night, Brainiac 5 and Kon had a drink. "How are you, Kon?"
"Oh, you know, still the family fuck-up," Kon said bitterly.
"I suppose someone has to be," Brainiac 5 allowed.
"So, Nia knows, right?" Kon asked confused.
"She doesn't have to know. Only I have to know...what I know," Brainiac 5 replied. "She's a survivor like me."
"She may be a survivor but she's not like you. She never asks what it is that you do?" Kon asked curiously.
"We don't talk about it. I have thousands of drones on this planet and millions more all over the galaxy. She can't comprehend what is that I am," Brainiac 5 said.
"Goddamn, you're good," Kon realized.
"I know," Brainiac 5 nodded.
Sierra Leon
Brainiac 5 soon owned his own fleet of cargo planes. On one particular plane, he happened to fly himself. With every shipment to Sierra Leon, Liberia, and the Ivory Coast, Brainiac 5 collected more names in his Death Note. Suddenly, a fighter jet intercepted Brainiac 5's plane. "Reroute to Kabala airport, comply immediately," Lucy ordered from the fighter jet's co-pilot seat.
Brainiac 5 ignored her and made a call to his US Army contact to get Lucy off of him. When that failed, the fighter jet fired bullets into the cargo plane causing minor damage. "This is your last warning," Lucy told him.
Brainiac 5 identified a dirt road highway below him and then lowered the plane. Upon realizing what Brainiac 5 was about to do, Lucy backed off to the real airport and ordered a truck on the tarmac. Brainiac 5 recklessly landed the plane on the dirt road scattering the local population nearby. Coming to a stop, Brainiac 5 opened the cargo plane and began handing everyone and anyone his weapons. He recorded everyone's faces as they did in case they actually used his weapons inappropriately. Within short order, the plane was empty of weapons or ammunition.
For Brainiac 5, it wasn't about profit. It was all about the mission. Eventually, Lucy did arrive with her crew. She immediately handcuffed Brainiac 5. "Why don't you slit my throat, shoot me, no one will know of it," Brainiac 5 tempted.
"You're going to get what's coming to you," Lucy promised him.
"Oh, really?" Brainiac 5 doubted."What's the charge?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"What are you doing in Sierra Leon?" Lucy asked ignoring the question.
"On safari," Brainiac 5 lied.
"With submachine guns?" Lucy questioned as she picked up a stray bullet off the ground.
"That's not mine," Brainiac 5 denied.
"You get rich by trafficking arms to the poorest people on the planet, so they can continue killing each other," Lucy accused.
"I'm actually a non-profit," Brainiac 5 corrected.
"Do you know what I do?" Lucy asked.
"It keeps changing even I can't keep track," Brainiac 5 mocked.
"There are more prestigious assignments than this shit. With my father's connection, I could be guarding the nuclear arsenal. You'd think that would be more critical to natural security but it's not. No, nine out of ten war victims today are from small arms. Your rifles are the real weapons of mass destruction," Lucy said to him.
"Whether it be the nuclear arsenal or this, you'll never be in control," Brainiac 5 said knowingly.
Lucy clutched her hair in frustration and wondered what to do within her power. "Can I go now? You have nothing on me," Brainiac 5 taunted.
"Since you know the law so well, you must know that I can hold you for twenty-four hours without charging you. You might ask me why I would do such a thing. Trust me, it's not because I enjoy your company...because I don't. It's because for every hour I hold you, that's an hour someone else gets to live. I don't see it as taking an hour from me but an hour I'm giving to them," Lucy said.
"How heroic of you," Brainiac 5 mocked.
"So, I shall see you in twenty-four hours," Lucy said walking off and then took off in her truck.
As it happened, Brainiac 5 went into sleep mode as another drone took up the task. The plane became disassembled by the locals. For the crime of theft, Brainiac 5 would spare them the Death Note for now.
Democratic People's Republic of the Congo-Present Day
Meanwhile, Kon was elsewhere on the African continent. In the middle of the night, he used his super-speed to move children out of a dangerous mine where they were working to a place nearby. He then placed the guards and administrators towards the back of the mine. Before they were aware of what had happened, Kon fired a beam into the mine killing them all in an underground explosion.
The next day, Elisa found Kon at her two-story cottage in the middle of nowhere. She had used her ring to form the cottage using the rocks and timber around her. She floated over to her cottage using her ring and then dropped down. "Kon, what the hell? How long have you been here?" she asked surprised.
"Oh, not long," Kon said vaguely. "You know, it only takes a few minutes to get here."
"Well, nice to see you. You want something to drink, eat?" she asked.
"Sure, let's go inside," Kon agreed.
Elisa gave Kon a skeptical look. "Why are you really here?" she asked.
"I'm on assignment from Barney to kill bad guys," Kon said nonchalantly.
"Business going well?" Elisa asked.
"Booming," Kon smirked.
"Mara isn't here, is she?" Elisa asked hopefully.
"No, sorry," Kon shook his head.
"So, why the fuck are you here to see me?" Elisa asked after a long pause.
"Mara wants you to see the right path. I'm here to make you feel the right path," Kon said ambitiously.
"I see. Tell you what? Since you like killing so much, I have some people for you to take care of," Elisa suggested. "They're anti-gay zealots that torture and rape LGBT youths."
"I already have a long list of kills to get done for Barney. Maybe, you can help me prioritize," Kon said suggestively.
"For every one of these mother-fuckers you kill, you get a kiss. How about that?" Elisa said.
"It has to be real, no peck," Kon insisted.
"Sure," Elisa agreed. "I didn't actually think you would agree so quickly. I thought these zealots are on your side."
"I have no side but even if I did, only Barney can pass judgment," Kon said.
"You really are just a simple creature," Elisa realized.
"I fuck on the first date," Kon confirmed.
Elisa and Kon kissed cautiously at first and then became more passionate. "How was that?" Kon asked.
"It was like electricity passing through me," Elisa said amazed. "But what about Sara?"
"Fuck her, she put me in the friendzone," Kon said bitterly.
"Well, we're still just friends. You know that the only reason I hung out with was to be close to Mara, right?" Elisa asked him.
"If you're mine, you avoid the stigma and you get even closer to her," Kon proposed. "Imagine if she's your sister-in-law."
"This is your way of proposing to me?" Elisa asked incredulously.
"It's the only one that makes sense. I'll be sure to have other wives that are bisexual. You can even choose them. Then, we can have a real party," Kon suggested.
"So, you're a total man-whore that's also open to polygamy and I'm the queer one?" Elisa wondered.
"Yes," Kon nodded.
"You would let me...fuck one of your wives?" Elisa asked mischievously.
"So long as I get to watch," Kon clarified.
"This approach may actually work for all of us," Elisa smiled amused.
"Let's go into town and get some female prostitutes for the both of us," Kon suggested.
There was a long awkward pause between them. "So...we can identify and punish their pimps," Kon added.
Elisa shook her head unimpressed. "I'll tell you what to do and then you'll get your reward."
"Well, okay then," Kon allowed.
Metropolis
The ATF then arrived at Nia's new apartment in Metropolis and searched the place. Lucy told Nia everything Brainiac 5 had been up to. "I can...believe it," Nia said honestly. "But can you prove any of this?"
"Mr. Dox goes to a lot of trouble to make his businesses look legitimate. Even to you, perhaps most to you. I don't expect to find anything here today," Lucy said.
"So, what's the point?" Nia asked confused.
"I was hoping you would help me," Lucy said.
"You want me to spy on my boyfriend for you after you ransacked my apartment?" Nia asked incredulously.
"Yes," Lucy said flatly. "The same arms procured by your boyfriend are responsible for the deaths of trans-people all across the Third World."
"Wait, how do you know I'm trans?" Nia wondered. Lucy sighed not wanting to go into detail on how and why. "I'd like you to leave," Nia said peeved.
"Okay, gentlemen," Lucy said to her crew and then left the apartment.
Nia frowned wondering if, despite all of her efforts, she still didn't pass.
Brainiac 5 came back to the apartment after his flight and found Nia in the dark in her bedroom naked. "Something wrong?" Brainiac 5 asked slightly concerned.
"I can't wear the clothes or the jewelry or the car or live in the house. Everything's got blood on it," Nia said horrified.
"Blood? Oh, you mean metaphorically speaking," Brainiac 5 realized. "Don't be so melodramatic."
"Of course, I'm melodramatic. I'm a real woman now, remember? What happens to trans people across the world doesn't concern me anymore," she said sarcastically.
"Lucy Lane was here," Brainiac 5 assumed. "It's all political with these people."
"Stop with the bullshit. What are you really doing?" Nia demanded.
"I sell weapons to people and then wait to see what they'll do with them. Once they show their true colors, I have them killed. I have many many names," Brainiac 5 said showing a list of countless names on his phone.
"So, what are you waiting for?" Nia wondered.
"I can't have the arms trades correlated to the killings. In good time, they will all be gone," Brainiac 5 said.
"And what happens in the meantime? How many will be killed while you wait?" Nia asked.
"Only a small percentage of the human population has the mentality to murder. In war, it's always this small group that does all the killings. I'm going to find these people, and I'm going to terminate them. Then, the world will be a less violent place in the long run," Brainiac 5 told her.
"I've seen the videos, the pictures. What you're doing is wrong," Nia told him off. "I want you to stop."
"You don't seem to understand. I'm really good at this," Brainiac 5 said.
"Barney, I've spent my whole life trying to look pretty, to pass. After years of working at it, I still get spotted as trans. I have failed at everything, passing as a woman, a Naltorian, as a superhero," Nia said sadly.
Brainiac 5 didn't contradict her. "But I won't fail as a person," Nia concluded and left the apartment.
Brainiac 5 ignored Nia's rant and went overseas for more arms deals. Nia eventually found a shipping container filled with weapons, blasted off the lock, and entered. Inside were weapons, ammunition, papers, passports, cash of various currencies, and a collection of paintings from Maeve giving her the impression she was a successful artist. Nia backed out of the container shocked and appalled. It was then that she decided to snitch on Barney to Lucy.
Brainiac 5 and Kon hung out at a restaurant. "I'm leaving tonight on a job. I want you to come."
"I can't. I got a girlfriend. I think she might be the one," Kon said.
"She's not," Brainiac 5 told him.
"You don't know that for certain," Kon said defensively.
"Bring her along," Brainiac 5 suggested.
"What do you need me all of a sudden?" Kon asked.
"West Africa is fucked up, more than usual. I can't trust anybody. I need you to watch my back and kill people when the time comes," Brainiac 5 said.
"Alright, I'm in," Kon smiled.
Liberia
In Liberia, Brainiac 5 and Kon met with the president as arms were being taken off the plane at the airport. "Barney, welcome back. Welcome to democracy," the president greeted him.
"Democracy?" Brainiac 5 wondered.
"You know, they accused me of rigging the elections but after the fuck up of an election in 2020, the US will have to shut up forever," the president said amused. "How do you do this, Barney? With them watching my airspace?" he asked referring to the crates of weapons.
"When there's a will, there's a weapon," Brainiac 5 said simply. "Where's the money?"
"When it is delivered," the president replied.
"It is delivered," Brainiac 5 pointed out.
"This is not for me. This is for my neighbors to the west," the president said.
"Sierra Leon," Kon identified.
"Oh, yes. And my son will come with you to make the proper introductions," the president continued.
"Well, okay then," Brainiac 5 allowed.
Sierra Leon
In the middle of a desert, Brainiac 5 did business with some freedom fighters in Sierra Leon. As Brainiac 5 did business, Kon eyed the freedom fighters hacking to pieces women and children in a refugee camp nearby. "Barney, I need to talk to you," Kon said freaking out.
"Excuse me," Brainiac 5 said to the freedom fighters and walked with Kon a distance away. "What is it?"
"We can't do this deal," Kon told him.
"And why not?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"Look over there. It's fucked up," Kon said of the bodies. "If we give these people these weapons, these people are going to die."
"These people are already dead. They don't need our weapons to hack them all to pieces. Even if that weren't the case, everyone is dead by the 31st century. Life and death is merely a matter of time," Brainiac 5 said coldly.
"Then, what the fuck are we even doing here?" Kon asked.
"To pass the time," Brainiac 5 said simply. "Once this arms deal goes forward, I'll have plenty of targets for you to terminate."
"But not these people," Kon realized.
"Remember the plan. Your assassinations cannot be tied to our arms deal or no one will do business with us," Brainiac 5 said obviously.
"They killed a boy no older than Kameron," Kon shook his head dismayed. "We got to do something."
"Kon, listen to me. You will one day be the commander-in-chief of the Galactic Federation ruling thousands of planets. You cannot be ruled by emotion. You must let your enemy reveal themselves. You must lure them into a false sense of security. You must trap them and then destroy them all at once," Brainiac 5 taught.
"You're right, Barney. You're always right," Kon nodded. "God, I have to get my shit together."
Brainiac 5 and Kon went back to the negotiating table. "I beg your pardon. May I see another diamond?" Brainiac 5 said to the freedom fighter leader.
Suddenly, Kon punched the president's son to the head killing him instantly. He fired a beam into the truck creating a powerful explosion as all the grenades and RPGs went off. The freedom fighters immediately shot at Kon to no effect. Kon quickly slaughtered every freedom fighter in the area with beams of light. A beam hit the second truck destroying all the weapons inside. For the day, this refugee camp would be saved from slaughter.
Brainiac 5 sighed and collected all of the diamonds. With his profile blown, he would have to create a new persona for himself if he wished to continue his mission. Kon panted from excitement and then realized what he had done. "When we leave, this refugee camp will be slaughtered," Brainiac 5 predicted. "You can't save these camps."
"I know I fucked up. I'm just not ready...I'm not ready. I'm not like my father," Kon admitted disappointed with himself.
"You have your mother's heart," Brainiac 5 said to him.
"I'm sorry I disappointed you, Barney," Kon frowned.
"Kon, I can't be disappointed in you. I feel nothing," Brainiac 5 reminded him.
Metropolis
At the Metropolis International airport, Brainiac 5 was arrested by the ATF. Lucy dragged Brainiac 5 into an interrogation room. "Have you seen today's paper?" she asked pointing to a Daily Planet. "Fake end-user certificates, cut out companies meticulously cataloged. There is hardly a warlord, dictator, or despot anywhere in the world, you're not on a first-name basis with."
"I am a friendly kind of guy," Brainiac 5 said not taking her seriously.
"It was your girlfriend that led us to the prize. It's not her fault. She's just easier to follow than you are," Lucy said.
"May I?" Brainiac 5 asked referring to the newspaper.
"Yeah, go ahead," Lucy allowed as she paced about the room ready to explode in tension.
Brainiac 5 took his time reading the funny pages greatly pushing Lucy's patience. "Enjoy it," he said finally.
"What?" Lucy questioned.
"This," Brainiac 5 said obviously. "Tell me I'm everything you despise. That I am the personification of evil. That I'm responsible for the breakdown of the fabric of society and world order. That I'm a one-man genocide. You're not wrong."
"You have broken every arms embargo written. There is enough evidence here to put you away for consecutive life sentences. You are going to spend the next ten years in-and-out of courtrooms before you even start serving your time. That's how fucked you are," Lucy said angrily. "I don't think you fully appreciate the seriousness of your situation!"
"I'm not," Brainiac 5 admitted. Lucy simply stared at him incredulously. "I promise you, I won't spend a single second in a courtroom," Brainiac 5 said confidently.
"You're delusional," Lucy scoffed.
"I like you, Lucy. Well, not in a sexual way, but I understand you," Brainiac 5 said with false sincerity. "Let me tell you how this is going to go, so you can prepare yourself. Soon, there's going to be a knock on the door and you will be called outside. In the hall, there will be a man that outranks you. First, he'll compliment you on doing a fine job, that you're making the world a safer place, and that you're to receive a commendation and promotion. Then, he'll tell you to release me. You'll protest, threaten to resign, but, in the end, I will be released."
Lucy simply stared at him in stunned silence. "You see, selling arms is only half the equation. Once these men use my weapons inappropriately, they die soon thereafter whether it be an airstrike, a sniper bullet, or a superhero assault," Brainiac 5 said calmly.
"This is entrapment. You're tempting innocent people into committing atrocities with your weapons," Lucy accused.
"Any man that kills with my weapons was never innocent," Brainiac 5 said simply.
"And you're not innocent either," Lucy spat.
"I never claimed to be so. But you're an agent of the system, a system that sells and buys weapons from shady men all over the world to advance its own interests. In one day, America sells more arms than I could do in a year. I provide critical intelligence but even if you managed to lock up this drone, there are thousands more at my disposal," Brainiac 5 said as he lowered his hologram to her revealing metal endoskeleton for a brief moment.
"The fuck are you?" Lucy wondered horrified.
There was then a knock on the door. Lucy reluctantly exited the room, met with her father, Gen. Sam Lane, and was told to release Brainiac 5. She protested, threatened to resign, but, in the end, she was shut down. Upon his release, Brainiac 5 went back to the Third World engaging in arms deals, watching what his clients would do with his weapons, and then arranging for their deaths. All for a more peaceful world.
Afghanistan
In a desert warzone, Brainiac 5 and Kon had a chat. "Do you know who will inherit the universe?" he asked him.
"Not a clue," Kon admitted.
"Arms dealers," Brainiac 5 said cynically. "Because the rest of the universe is too busy fighting with themselves. Never go to war, Kon. Most importantly, never go to war with yourself."