Ways of dying

The room was pitch black but never dark enough for him not to see her. He didn't need his eyes to see the woman he loved because he had always looked at her through his heart, not his eyes. She had always been his rock, his savior and his reason to get up every morning and the fact of seeing her so weak just broke his heart in a million pieces. He had never known how much he loved her but during the last few days he had realized how much she meant to him.

A single tear ran down his face while he held her hand. It was so cold, almost dead. It scared him to death, he had never thought he could possibly lose her and, from the roots of that thought, another feeling rose from his soul; Anger. He didn't allow himself to cry anymore and stood up. He swore to himself that he would do whatever was in his hands to get revenge. He didn't quite know who was to blame, who's fault it was, or even if he could do anything to make the pain go away but he knew he wouldn't stop until the blood of the monster that had done that to his angel.

He walked out of the room thinking about all the things that happened during the past few years. It was weird because he didn't think about the major things. He thought about all the little things that they had shared together and while these thoughts crossed his mind the pain just grew bigger. He remembered all the evenings spent in front of the T.V. doing nothing at all. He remembered how pissed she always was when these spoiled kids complained about their 'hard lives'. She never liked those kids, she always said that they didn't know the meaning of the word problem and even if they did, they had never had a real problem in their lives. She could be too hard on people sometimes but she was a good person, a really good one. It is funny how bad things always happen to good people. You'll never meet a murderer with cancer; however, a ten year old girl would die from it. It is funny how dying is not so horrible for the person that actually dies but for the person's relatives that have to live with it all the days of their lives. They would have to look at death in the eyes every morning wondering when it will strike. And even if the person beats the disease you never know if it was going to come back or not. He thought that if he ever had cancer, he would rather die right away. In fact, if he had to die, he'd rather to die in a car crash or something so he wouldn't know he was going to die.

There are many ways of dying but none of them are as horrible as being killed by another human being. Again, his mind went back to her and the attack. The past night when he had gotten home, he had seen her body lying on the floor covered by blood. He couldn't forget the image. The bedroom was totally upside down and the furniture was broken. The door was six feet away from its place and his wounded wife lying on the floor under all the chaos of broken furniture. She was holding onto a picture, a picture of him. It killed him. He should have been there, he should have done something. He should have been at home when he was supposed to. However, another weird thought popped in his mind; even if he had been there, there wouldn't have been anything he could have done. He wasn't like Prue. He wasn't like her sisters, he was just s simple man in love with an impossible. The day when she told him about her secret, he didn't think it'd be a big deal, he didn't think it could break them apart but that night he realized something; no matter how much he loved her, no matter how close they were, there would always be a vast ocean in between them. They didn't belong to the same world, they'd never belong to the same world.

That thought killed him. He remembered high school when they did everything together. Every class, every day she would have cheer practice and he would have football practice and after that, they'd go to his house. Every day was the same, now, things were just different. For the first time in his life, he wondered if he was good enough for her. That killed him too.

The house was all dark and drowned in silence. Ethan, the adult one, had locked himself up with some of his 'friends' and they were discussing something that Andy couldn't hear. However, he knew what they were talking about. The door to their room was made of dark brown wood and had weird drawings on it. He didn't know where the house was, what he did know, was that it was the safest place on earth, even if it was depressing. He knocked on the door and every one shut up.

"Yes?" He could hear Ethan's voice.

"Let me in" Andy yelled. "Let me in"

He heard a murmur and finally, the door opened. "Come in" Ethan said. Andy walked in, surprised that the guy had let him be part of it.

Ethan was sitting on a big chair, he looked exhausted and frustrated. He didn't look like an aristocrat anymore, although, he looked powerful. His eyes had an odd sparkle of anger that Andy had never seen. Ever. "Leave us alone" Ethan ordered to the people in the room.

"But, milord" a dark haired guy protested, "we are…"

"I said leave" Ethan said with a cold voice. "we need to talk"

The dark haired guy, Bane, gave Andy a weird look and walked out the room, followed by a crowd of guys with masks. They were all tall, skinny and totally covered.

"Who are they?" Andy asked.

"Followers" Ethan simply answered. He got up and walked to the closet. It freaked Andy out because the only light in the room was the light that came through the huge window, and it wasn't much. Ethan was much taller than what Andy remembered.

"Of yours?" Andy asked again. He didn't know if he could trust the guy or not. They were too many things about him that Andy would never understand.

"Of a cause"

"What cause?"

Ethan stared at him and smiled sadly. He took a box out of the closet and put in on the table that separated the two guys. "Peace"

"What are you talking about, there isn't any war going on"

"Andy, there is always a war going on"

"What kind of war are we talking about? Does it have anything to do with Prue?" Andy asked again.

"It has to do with all of us. It is a war between the Ziudadelle and the Underworld. A war for control. It has been that way forever, people dying for the good or the bad, fight the good fight, but which one is the good fight? Good and evil are just points of view and if they are both gone, there wouldn't be a hell, there wouldn't be a heaven, there would be peace. That is the cause"

"You are insane" Andy said backing off.

"Am I?"

"You can't destroy both sides, you can't"

"Why not?"

"You can't create a war!"

"There is already a war! Good and evil fight against each other, people die, and the war never ends but if both sides break loose, the war is over"

"People will die!"

"People are dying al—freaking—ready"

"Is Prue caught up in the war?" Andy asked again. He didn't care much about a war, or about a crazy plan, he cared about his girlfriend staying out of it.

Ethan nodded. "She lied to me" Andy thought. He looked away, he couldn't believe that Prue was so imprudent, so stupid. How could she have gotten herself into something like that? Damn Prue.

"Damn it" he said. Ethan stared at him, completely destroyed. He had never meant to get Prue into the war. He had never meant a war in the first place. It had happened. He wondered if bringing Prue back to life had been a good idea but after all, it wasn't himself the one who started all. It had been Prue's idea.

--Flashback—

A seventeen-year-old Ethan walked in the room where Prue was practicing with her sword. He had always loved to see her practice. She was the best in the whole Ziudadelle, not only because she was good, but because she always got caught in the battle. She always gave her best performance to it. She was just joyful to see. She noticed him and he blushed. He was used to Prue but whenever she gave him that look he would blush. That look in which he saw Prue's emotions, Prue's pain, Prue's anger…All those things she kept inside. However, she smiled and dropped the weapon.

"Hi there." She walked towards him. "Are you done with your homework?"

"Yes" He said. "But I hate it, it is pointless"

"I know, but you have to do it anyway"

"Why can't I just learn the way you did?"

"Because we don't want the elders to know how powerful you are" Prue hugged him and he smiled. "Remember Ethan, one day, it is going to be all about you"

--End of flash back—

Ethan sighed. Sometimes he wish he had his own Prue to take care of him, just like in the old times but he knew that he didn't belong. He just didn't.

"Prue didn't lie to you. She protected you" Ethan said, knowing that Prue would kill him afterwards, however, that was Prue's problem, she always put the other's first. Life owed Prue Halliwell.

Andy's eyes opened big with surprise. He stared at Ethan and sensed that something big was coming up. Something that he had been waiting for years; the truth about Prue. The whole truth. He always knew that Prue hid some stuff from him, he always knew that that day when she told him about her magic, she had left something out, something he couldn't know. However, he never knew he had to do something with it. Now, things made a little bit more sense.

"Prue was trying to protect me? From what?"

"You died" Ethan simply said. "You died trying to save her and she has felt guilty ever since. She almost gave up her powers and even in the afterlife; even then, she loved you with all her heart. No man, ever, won her heart. No one replaced you. No one made Prue as happy as she was with you…"

Andy's knees crumbled and even if he had just heard that he was going to die young, what mattered to him was Prue's true feelings towards him. It wasn't that he didn't know, it was just that she was too cold sometimes. "Her nightmares" Ethan continued. "Are nightmares about you, dying. The reason why they are getting worse is because she is worried that she is not gonna be able to beat time and save you"

Andy looked away. That was her secret then, but something bothered him now he went back to it. Afterlife? Did that mean that…? "Did Prue die too?" Andy asked not so sure that he wanted to know the answer. "When I died I mean"

"Two years later" Ethan answered. "You saved her, remember?"

"Right" Andy said trying to breathe. "she knows it right? She knows she is gonna die"

"She does"

"How?"

"I can't tell you that"

"But you have something to do with it don't you?"

"Yes"

Andy sighed again. He couldn't imagine how hard it would be, to know when you are going to die, how you are going to die, to know that you are going to get killed. Prue knew all that, she even knew when he was going to die. "When do I die?" Andy asked. He wanted to be part of Prue's life and If that meant that he had to share her secrets, he would. It didn't matter how dark they were.

"I can't tell you that either"

"Ethan," He said breathing slowly. "I want to help."

"Me or my cause?"

"Neither. I want to help Prue"

"And yourself?"

"Only Prue"

"That's what I thought" Ethan started laughing and walked around the room. "See, I'd let you join, I'd even give you damn powers, but, if you are going to risk your life, I won't. I need you alive Trudeau. Prue needs you alive"

"I can't stand still if I know that she is in danger. Now you tell me she is gonna die and do you expect me to do nothing?" Andy yelled with all his heart. He threw the stuff on the table against the wall and almost tipped the table over. "Help me!"

"Oh, I am" Ethan said without losing his cool. "I am helping you, trust me"

"If I am not there the day I am supposed to die, she'll die instead!" Andy argued.

"Do you really thing I'd let her die?"

Andy thought about it. HE didn't like Ethan but still, he was helping Prue and as long he kept doing that, he didn't have any reason not to trust him.

"I know you wouldn't"

"Well, this is something we can work with"

"We?"

"I won't let you join the war but I do need you to do something" Ethan said with a smile on his face.

Prue woke up all of the sudden. She didn't recognize the place, she didn't know how she had gotten there. She didn't remember a thing. Her heart was racing painfully fast and her mind kept telling her to go back to sleep for some reason she didn't understand. Her hands where shaking and she was scared but she didn't know why. Her whole body hurt like it never before. She closed her eyes and tried to figure out what all those emotions meant but there was nothing that could possibly explain why she felt like that. She stared at the room looking for Andy or someone she knew. She was about to cry, just like she cried the day she died, the day she met Ethan…just like the day Andy died. She thought about Andy and felt that something wasn't alright.

Suddenly, the memories of what had just happened started colliding inside her mind and tears started breaking out of her eyes. She felt a whole bunch of things she had never felt, at least, not with that intensity, she felt anger as she had never before, she felt…there was only one way possible to describe it; she felt raped.

"Honey don't cry" A well known voice said by her side. Prue looked at the owner of the voice and cried harder. "Honey please, you have to stay strong now…for me"

"You…you…are…nothing to me" Prue sobbed trying to pull herself away but her mother was faster. Patty pulled her daughter into a hug and held her while Prue tried to fight off the tears. In the end, Prue desisted on getting away and allowed herself to stay there, in the arms of the person she had needed the most all her life.

"I told you I wouldn't be gone forever. As a matter of fact, I am free now"

"Free?" Prue didn't understand. Then, she realized that the answer was obvious. She was dead, that was why she was "free" She had finally accomplished her destiny. "How…?" For some reason, it only made her happy. She had her mom back, after all.

"Ethan. You did a good job with him" Patty explained stroking her hair. "I don't remember" Prue sobbed. "I barely remember…I mean, little things…and now, he is here and…where is him?"

"Which one?" Patty laughed.

Prue started looking around and finally, saw him, little Ethan sleeping on a couch in front of the window.

"He has been there since you got here" Patty said holding Prue's hand. Patty couldn't explain how good to be able to feel the love for Prue felt. She could have never explained it but what she felt when she was alive, when she was supposed to be anyway, was still there, as alive and vivid as always. Prue, in the other hand, didn't quite trust the woman in front of her. Her mother had been gone so many years, too many to make up. Too many things were going on inside of her and she couldn't figure it out. "He was…really cold actually, he didn't start crying or anything, he stayed still until he fell asleep." Patty was stroking Prue's hair now, completely lost in the moment. "I've missed you so much"

Prue tried to get up but all she could do was hurt herself. She hurt so mucho. "I feel horrible" For a second she had forgotten that she was crying but realizing how much she hurt just made her cry even more.

"Prue you have to stay strong now okay?" Her mom said holding her. "I'm so sorry honey, so sorry…You don't deserve all what's happened to you. You really don't deserve it. If you could only see the wonderful child you were…the wonderful woman you are"

Prue cried harder. "I'm sorry, Mom, I'm sorry"

"Don't be sorry" Patty rocked her oldest daughter, "My little girl, you don't have to be sorry for anything"

Prue didn't know how long she cried or even if she could make it through, and when she was about to fall asleep Ethan woke up. He stared at the woman he had believed the strongest woman in the world with pity in his eyes, not knowing but to do. He hated the feeling of not knowing what to do when everything around him seemed to be falling down, he felt like he should do something, he just didn't know why. He felt like an outcast, just like he had always felt, he hated it. He sat in the other side of Prue's bed and did what Prue's mother was doing, he held Prue as if he was scared of losing her in the depths of her own struggle. "Don't cry Prue" Ethan said. Prue stared at him and smiled weakly. Her eyes were red and her hair was sticking to her forehead. She put her hair under her ears and smiled again, this time with all the strength she had. "I'll be okay sweetie"

"Will you?"

"Of course"

"I saw him"

"Who?"

"The monster, I saw him. I'll get him, I'll kill him" Ethan said it all convinced. "I can kill him if you want me too. I lied to you, I am powerful, really, I am, I can kill him. I'll kill him, just let me do it, I'll make him…"

"You are not gonna hurt anyone" Prue said but she couldn't help but smile. She wanted the bastard for herself. "You are too young to talk like that"

"But that's why I have my powers, so I can kill bad people. I can punish them"

Prue stared at him wondering what that meant. Not what it meant in the surface but deep down, beyond a physical level, she tried to figure if Ethan had already been condemned. Maybe that is what it takes to make an assassin; nothing. Maybe they are born, maybe just like gifted children are born smarter, just like some people have blue eyes or red hair, maybe assassins were born to kill and no one could change that. However it was hard to believe, he was such a little kid, such a nice kid. She had seen what the other Ethan could do, she had seen how he didn't hesitate when he killed the Elder. "Why can't I punish someone who has raped someone I care about?"

"Ethan, I…to kill is not a fair punishment"

"We do it all the time with criminals. Some people deserve to die"

"Ethan! Don't talk like that" Patty said trying to 'educate' the kid.

"You shut up, you know nothing about me. I can take care of it, I am…"

"Old enough?" Prue said with a dark smile on her face. Then, he grabbed both of Ethan's hands and said, "If you really care about me, you will not kill anyone if you are not in serious danger, okay?"

Ethan gazed at her and nodded. "Okay" Then he looked away. Prue felt like she had lived that before, that situation, that same moment.

All of the sudden, she remembered.