Firstly. we're really, really, really sorry for the delay.. circumstances arose.. beyond our control.. please don't Punjab us..
Okay, so we may have taken a few liberties in Raoul's characterization, but we are really making fun of everybody, not just Foppy McFopperkins. There was a sad lack of defense on poor Meg's part.. Let's hear it for our favorite blonde!
And now, without further ado, we present to you, ladies and gentlemen, the next installment of Opera House Emails!
Disclaimer: We know it's not ours, and yet, we wish it were.. oh God if we claim credit, what horrors wait for us.. in there, the plagiarizers'.. penitentiary? (ducks rotten veggies)
Translation: Not only do we not own the Phantom of the Opera, we also do not own the MySpace disclaimer which we, ah.. "creatively" modified for use in this chapter. -Sob!-
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Part III
From: newcomment(at)operaspace. com
To: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: New Comments on your OperaSpace!
Dear Christine,
You have received 2 new comment(s) on your OperaSpace! Read them below.
From -Meggy-:
lol Christy I herd about ur fight wit Carlotta, thats sooo funny. like she could sing better than u!1! lol wutevs
From La Carlotta, Prima Donna Diva:
You little toads! If you think you will get away with this, you are very, very, very mistaken!1!one! Just wait and see who is the true star of this opera!
Disclaimer: At OperaSpace we value your privacy. We have sent you this notification to facilitate your use as a member of the OperaSpace. com service. If you don't want to receive emails like this to your external email account in the future, change your OperaAccount Settings to "Do not send me notification emails."
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From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com
To: prettyinpink(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: Cool Thing
Attachments: Punjab.exe (15 KB)
I found a neat thing when I was surfing the net and thought you might, ahem.. have fun with it. If you click on it within 20 seconds of receiving it you may get a free ruffled shirt!
Love from A Friend
P.S.: You might want to mention to those thick-headed fools who "run" my theater that a similar experience will befall their precious computer should they neglect to pay the Phantom his dues. Enjoy!
"The Phantom of the Opera is there.. inside your mind!"
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From: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: LOST!
I'm normally not one for sending out unnecessary mass e-mails, but this is truly an emergency! I lost my favorite sparkly pen:-(
It's purple, with a shiny star on the top.. you probably don't care, but this pen has sentimental value.. it is very dear to me! I can't live without it! I heart it oh so much!1one!111two!
Soooooo… if any of you see it, please please please please please give it back! 5 francs reward, and you may take a ribbon of your choice from my collection.. no questions asked!
PS.. I really, really, really miss it!
- Meg -
"Cute and blonde since 1854!"
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From: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: FW: LOST!
Thanks to everyone to helped! My precious pen is once again safely in my possession! I really, really appreciate all you've done for me!1!1
Oh, and Monsieur le Vicomte, I looked up the information on that powder blue hair ribbon you picked.. it really is 100-percent silk with genuine pearls sewn on! Isn't that wonderful! -squeal-
Thanks again everyone!
- Meg -
"Cute and blonde since 1854!"
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From: frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com
To: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com
CC: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: RE: LOST!
Once again, I ask that you all refrain from cluttering up our inboxes with mass emails!
Meg, dear, I know that pen is very important to you (I remember when you went through that phase when you couldn't sleep unless you were holding it! Oh, you were darling, with Mr. Bearykins in one hand and the sparkly pen in the other… Oh yes, you simply must remind me to post that photo of you and Mr. Bearykins on the opera house website!), but no matter how important the matter seems, we all need to take a deep breath and think twice before sending out frantic mass emails! I hope this nonsense dies down soon, or I will consider more drastic measures.
-Antoinette
P.S.: Meggie darling, do remember to wash behind your ears when you take a bath tonight! I know how you tend to forget.
"Don't just do it, dance it!"
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From: overlooked(at)persiansrus. org
To: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: Job?
Gentlemen,
I would be most grateful if you'd offer me a job at your esteemed Opera Populaire. I am more than qualified for any position you might assign me to, too.. I am a man of many talents!
Besides, I hear that you have been having some problems with a certain "Opera Ghost." Isn't that correct? Now, you see, I may be able to aid in lessening the problem.. I'm not claiming to be able to fix it, but I might help delay any serious disasters for a little while for you to come up with a solution..
If that doesn't convince you, let me play the pity card. Ahem: don't you feel sorry for me that I was cut from the movie? Sometimes, I get so depressed I can't find the will to go on.. I mean, for heaven's sake I can't even get a job! If I can't get this post, I'm afraid I will have a mental breakdown..
So, the choice is in your hands, will you hire me?
Yours,
Nadir Khan
"There's a reason I'm not called 'Apex.'"
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From: xoxgerikloverxox(at)phansunlimited. net
To: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: Step Away From My Man!
Look, you little blonde twit, you might think you're all that with your ballerina twirls, but you had better rethink your plan if you're going after my Erik. My love for him knows no bounds, and I'm the only one in the world who really understands the inner torment he feels over his unfortunately sunburned face! I know he would never give the time of day to someone as obviously desperate as, but my soul-bond with him drives me to eliminate anyone as annoying to him as you must be. We are destined to be together, and as soon as he recognizes that fact I'm sure he'll have no problem with me demonstrating my authentic Punjab lasso replica (made with the infinite passion of my heart!) on you.
-xoxGeRiKlOvErxox-
"From the computer of the future Mrs. Gerik!"
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Wow.. 20 reviews! We're touched, really.. (and not just in the head). Now, let's see: getting more reviews makes us happy authors. Happy authors write faster. If we get at least 15 more reviews, we'll post the next part ASAP (and we promise there will be no "circumstances" this time!) So, pretty please?