Authors' Note: We noticed some confusion over our identities in the reviews… yes, there are two of us! To clear this up, we decided to introduce each other to you.
Author #1 is Eloise, the mad Gerik phangirl. She also rabidly ships Erik/Christine. Her hobbies include watching the PotO movie in English, then in French, then in English again, (and the bonus disc, you can't forget the bonus disc!) and also serenading people with songs from the movie. Don't worry, we have ways of making her stop when she gets too enthusiastic. She is very ticklish. She is also a part-time genius and ballerina.
Author #2 is Elizabeth, the anti-PotO advocate. She refuses to read the books, claiming that they are a waste of her time, and we suspect she hasn't seen the movie yet (oh wait, nevermind, she says she has.. but we're doubtful because she can't remember anything from it). She find's Author #1's endearing habits slightly strange, and would take any opportunity to mock her, being the cruel person that she is (just kidding… please don't Punjab me). She is also brilliant, magnificent, and all-around awesome.
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Part VI
From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com
To: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net
Subject: RE: RE: Cool thing
That was a nice try, but I knew your link to "Christine's message" was a virus! After all, if my Christine wanted to tell me something, she would simply call her Angel of Music, not deliver the message through an air-headed fop. I opened the link to make sure- but I did it on your computer. Have fun, because I know you made the virus as hard to disable as you could.
Also, I apologize for hurting your precious feelings with the "FOP ALERT" virus, but I'm sure you'll agree that seeing "PSYCHOPATH PERVERT MIRROR-STALKER" displayed on the computer screen in giant font is rather hurtful as well. However, it really doesn't have the same succinctness or ring to it…
-Erik
P.S.: I think we have moved beyond the juvenile games of computer-virus sending. Truce?
"The Phantom of the Opera is there.. inside your mind…"
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From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com
To: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: A Favor
Attachments: reddeath.vbs
Christine, your dear tutor would ask of you but one favor: Go onto that fop's- I mean, your fiancé's- computer and open the attached program. Don't tell him you did it!
Thank you, dearest.
"The Phantom of the Opera is there.. inside your mind…"
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From: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org
Subject: Who Loves Bubble Gum?
Answer: Everyone does!
We are pleased to announce that a company which we ourselves started in the early days of our entrepreneurship, Bubbly Goodness Inc., has come out with a new flavor of gum! Since starting the business, we have passed on ownership to a nephew of Firmin's, but we are still intimately connected with the company (and we get a cut of the profits), so we are selling their products through mail-order to this Opera House.
The latest flavor is blueberry, and it joins an extensive line already featuring such delicacies as pomegranate, seaweed, rum, roast beast, cheddar, oatmeal, and the old favorite: Pure Sugar (tm).
Email us back to receive an order form today!
Your Managers,
Andre and Firmin
"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more..."
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From: bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net
To: prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: My Undying Love and Devotion
My darling La Sorelli,
Mere words cannot express my feelings – oh, such strong feelings – for you, so I have taken the liberty of writing you a poem.
From the moment I first saw you,
In your tutu of powdery blue,
Twirling away across the stage,
Showing off your youthful age,
I knew you were a jewel to behold,
The thought struck me, it was ever so bold!
And with such a wit, you're surely smart,
And have thus captured my heart.
My loveliest of lovelies, darling,
Your eyes shine with a light so sparkling,
It's a sign from the Heavens above
That I am forever bound you to love.
Oh! That love's fleeting spell!
Eternally in my heart you dwell.
Lovingly Yours,
Philippe
"Everybody loves a well-educated man!"
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From: prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com
To: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: FW: My Undying Love and Devotion
Eeeeek! Oh-em-gee, Meg! Do you think he likes me! What do I do, what do I do! Should I reply? Does that seem too forward? Do you think this is some sort of sick practical joke? Help me!1!11!112! You know.. he's soooo handsome! And his eyes.. they're soooo dreamy! Meeeeg… what do I doooooo?
-Sori
"Coupé, coupé, jeté, jeté, assemblé!"
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From: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com
To: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: RE: A Favor
Angel of Music, I don't know how to tell this to you, but… the things that I said in that chatroom… well, I wasn't thinking properly. You see, when I went down to get my snack, I saw some of the ballerinas in the kitchen. They were fixing these drinks that looked very good, so I took one when they offered it to me. Well, I ended up having several (they really tasted excellent!), and I can't say I remember much of the night after that… However, I did look in the chat log that Andre & Firmin posted on the website.
I can tell I said some foolish things- which of course I never usually do!- and I apologize for deceiving you. I still love Raoul… how could I not? He is my dear fiancé who saved my scarf when we were young! Oh, how wonderful he is!
So, my tutor, I ask that you forget what I said last night. I am so embarrassed! Mortified, really! But I know my Raoul will save me from any nasty rumors. As an apology, I will do as you requested. Isn't it sweet that you and Raouly-dearest get along so well that you would write a cute little program for him!
Luv (but not like that!),
Christine
"…angel of music…"
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From: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net
To: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: A Poem For My Christy-poo
Christine, my dearest, my turtledove,
On the advice of my brother Philippe I shall write you a love poem! He claims that it worked so well on La Sorelli, and I know you deserve the best even more than she does… -heart-! Philippe suggested a sonnet, but I am a master of a much more sophisticated verse.
ahem…
There once was a girl named Christy
When she sung, peoples' eyes got misty
She was lovely, for sure
And many men loved her
But Raoul was the only one she kissed-y!
Your Pookie-tootles,
Raoul
"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"
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From: frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com
To: balletrats(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: Today's Rehearsal
Ballerinas,
I am very disappointed in many of you after today's astonishingly bad performance! The number of you who wobbled around, claiming to have headaches, was horrific. I expect much better performance from my ballerinas in the future. I suggest you practice your pirouettes and fouettes tonight so that you are better prepared for tomorrow's lesson.
--Mme. Giry
"Don't just do it, dance it!"
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From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com com
To: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire.
Subject: RE: A Favor
My Dear Protégé,
If you are worried that I do not return your sentiments, let me assure of my affections, my ardent love, the adoration which blossoms like the de-thorned roses I seem to have so many of, along with endless black ribbons, for you.
Ever since I started to spy on you through the two-way mirror in your dressing room since you were a wee seven-year-old.. ahem. Somehow that sounds a tad wrong.
Let me rephrase that. From the time when I started teaching you my music, gave you everything I had, poured my soul into making you an acclaimed diva, and made you address me as "Master".. er.. that doesn't sound right either.
The bottom line is: you belong to me, and only me!
Your Master,
O.G.
"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"
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From: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com
To: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net
Subject: FW: A Favor
Oh Raouly-poo!
He frightens me so! Save me from him, please! He's such a perverted monster!
And yet, I'm strangely attracted to him… umm… I didn't mean that.
Please, if you love me, banish this unending night! And, if you can, also consider cutting your hair…
Your damsel in distress,
Chrissie
"…angel of music…"
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From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire, com
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny .net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org
Subject: RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz
Dear Manager, I'd have hoped you'd find something better to do than sending out brain-dead mass e-mails. As such, I was slightly amused by the quiz, so I'm not going to kill you just yet.
Basic Info:
Name? Erik Matthew Charles Ward Destler
Age? it really depends on the production
Eye color? a nice mixture of red and yellow
Hair color? blonde -cringes-
Height? 6-feet-plus of manly-muscle
Faves:
Country? I have no allegiances.
Food? I don't require food.
Movie? Beauty and the Beast. I hope the significance is obvious.
Drink? I don't drink either… but in some "phanfics," a nice glass of quality wine
Animal? The rats that keep me company in the cellars below
Color? Black. Duh.
Are you:
Nice? Have we met?
Sarcastic? Oh dear God, I sure hope not.. -sarcasm drips-
Funny? I seem to have developed a morbid sense of humor… probably from reading all those entries to the PFN Morbidity Contests…please.. I'm not going to dig up Raoul's rotting body and kiss his non-existent lips!
Finally:
Do you remember your dreams? I don't sleep either, you dimwits.
Do you believe in soulmates? Take a wild guess there.
Do you believe in love at first sight? I first saw Christine when she was 6, so… no. But she holds a special place in my heart nonetheless.
What was your favorite childhood toy? That paper-mache monkey they showed in the 2004 movie, well, it was my only toy..
Thoughts on life? Strangling people is an excellent pastime
Who do you want to be stuck on an island with? A boat-building expert.
What did you do before Opera? I played the lead in a gypsy freak-show.
Yours,
O.G.
"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"
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