Sakura walked very slowly back to the kitchens to tell Naruto the good news. The reason for her unhurried gait being, she had just found out a few new things about their team leader that she had never known before. For one, he had a very nice looking body under that baggy Jounin uniform. Yes, he was a little pale and a portion of his face was tanner than the rest of his body, but Sakura felt those aspects were infinitely outshined by the lean, defined muscles underneath smooth looking skin.

Sure, Sakura had seen portions of his nakedness, what with having to heal all the wounds the man managed to acquire over the years, but she had never seen so much of him all at one time. Having him jump out at her in almost all his manly glory had shocked and surprised her. She now knew what it felt like to have a massive coronary.

'You don't just spring something like that on a girl all at once!' Inner Sakura raised a shaking fist. 'Small doses Kakashi! Small doses! How could you hide that from me for all those years? Selfish bastard!'

But it hadn't just been his body that had set her world off kilter. Kakashi's face was just as handsome as the rest of him. There were no disfiguring marks other than the scar that ran the length of his left eye. There were no thick lips, buckteeth or a small mouth. She now understood the reason the Ichiraku lady, Ayame-chan, kept giving the man extra portions when her father wasn't looking. (Of course, Kakashi would wait until the kids were conveniently occupied in whatever distraction he pulled out of his vast repertoire to actually eat.)

She couldn't blame Ayame-chan, Sakura had felt like swooning the moment she had set her eyes on his flawless face and oh so hard body, but thankfully she hadn't. Her surprise and embarrassment at seeing her sexy former teacher in nothing but that fluffy white towel, had taken care of that.

'I should have interrupted him in the baths years ago…' Inner Sakura snickered.

Then, Sakura's smirk faltered. She knew that had she come a few seconds beforehand, she would have definitely interrupted him…doing something she desperately tried not to think about. She had heard that tell-tale groan of pleasure, even before she had made it to the changing room's doors. Her intense need to sleep had been the only thing that had kept her from turning around and running back down the hall in a combusting ball of flame.

'Genma, I could have believed no question, maybe even Naruto but…Kakashi-sensei? Cha! No way!' Sakura scrunched her features in a look of disgust. 'Ew! Men are so disgusting!'

She had never, in all her pathetic delves to fulfill her sexual curiosity, ever heard a man sound like that before, at his ultimate peak of pleasure. Sakura had only had two brushes with the opposite sex in her life and neither male had ever sounded remotely close to the way Kakashi had. Sakura found herself questioning her own skill in the erotic ways.

'Surely, if Kakashi-sensei can make himself sound like that, then obviously I still have a long way to go.' Sakura sighed dejectedly.

Then Sakura's look of disdain changed to one of triumph. 'Just wait till I tell Naruto what I've seen! Oh, he's gonna be so jealous! Mwahahahaha!'

1 Week Later

"You know, you must have the will power of a god." Genma quipped over the rim of his sake cup.

Unfortunately, the members of the usual crowd, namely Asuma, Kurenai, and Raidou were out of the village for the night. That left Kakashi all alone, forced to share a drink with his troublesome remaining friend. Thankfully, his two younger teammates had forgone the senbon user's earlier invite.

Kakashi answered with his usual "Mm." It was a non-committal sound used to fool the conversationalist into thinking he was actually paying attention. It was a diversionary measure that he had learned long before the days of Team 7. Kakashi had to admit, he liked the result. They usually gave up and left him alone, but Genma was proving to be harder to shake.

It was difficult to ignore someone who kept punctuating the start of every sentence with, what seemed to be an unconscious slap to Kakashi's shoulder. Really, he had exhausted all means of scaring the ex-Chuunin Examiner away from such personal contact, but as Kakashi had come to learn, like Naruto, bodily harm did nothing to dissuade the man.

Kakashi's arm received another slap to his bicep, shaking the filled drink in his hand dangerously. In confused tones Genma continued. "I just don't understand you. I mean, if some chick was making me pop wood every time I laid eyes on her; hell, I'd of done something by now. I'd have-"

Kakashi quickly interrupted what he knew to be a lengthy, graphic explanation of just what exactly Genma would do to the figurative woman. Hanging his silver head said with forced, drunken calm, "I'm not you."

Another slap to the arm, followed by a hearty laugh, "Yeah, and that's why you're here with me instead of her. You know, for being such a dangerous man, you suck when it comes to women…." More boisterous laughter, followed by a breach of Kakashi's personal space, "But I guess you can't all be like me, huh?"

In a low, irritated growl Kakashi replied, "One's enough."

Genma's laughter abruptly cut off. A pout now adorned his handsome features. "So cold."

The pout was soon overshadowed by a feral grin, directed off to their side. With a conspiring whisper, he leaned close to Kakashi's ear. "You know what you need my friend?"

Kakashi knew where this was going and merely sighed in response.

Genma continued oblivious, mouth now smiling to his unknowing new target. "I say, of course you're going to continue to want to get into Sakura's pants, if you keep moping here. My good buddy, I say a little distraction is in order."

Kakashi knew better than to believe his selfish friend was actually doing anything out of the kindness of his heart. And he was proved right by Genma's next words. Nodding his head slightly in the direction of the two kunoichi he was shamelessly making eyes at, Genma said predatorily, "Besides, this one's got company. Don't ever say I didn't do anything for you."

Kakashi had known the experience was going to turn out to be a bad idea from the very beginning, But, somewhere in his sake fogged mind, he had reasoned that Genma had made a very valid point earlier.

And a small part of Kakashi still believed that he had.

Unfortunately, Genma had taken the 'lesser of two evils' for himself and left Kakashi with…well, with the other. It seemed that no amount of alcohol –he ingested a lot- could get past neither the girl's high pitched squeals nor her maddening fawning.

Kakashi absolutely despised being flattered because he was the famous Copy Ninja. He would have left hours ago, but the drunk woman was effectively blocking his way out of the booth and simply refused to remove herself, latching on to his arm like a vise. If he wasn't such a gentleman he would have pushed her off the end of their booth and made mad dash for the door.

It was times like these that he wished he was like Genma.

Kakashi sighed, knowing that thought just was not right.

The only redeeming qualities the woman had was that she was actually attractive, if you got past her octopus hands and her incessant giggles. Kakashi didn't even know her name. She had told him, of course, but after a few more cups of sake, he had promptly forgotten. In a way, he felt it was a good thing.

The young woman prattled on about the many uses of acupuncture needles to a disinterested Kakashi, who simply replied with his usual "Mm" every now and then. He was too busy formulating his escape plan to listen to her drivel. Mind whirling, he turned to see Genma's own hands starting to roam on his new blonde female friend. Kakashi figured that was his queue to exit.

Breaking through a steady flow of instructions on how to get rid of arthritis in the wrist, by sticking a senbon into a certain muscle, Kakashi spoke. "Excuse me, but I have to say 'hello' to a certain porcelain god." He turned to the dark haired woman pointedly, who bit her lip. He could almost see the cogs turning in her head, inwardly debating if she should let him go or not. He quickly lifted his empty bottles for emphasis.

Luckily, the panicked woman decided to relinquish her hold, in the end.

Kakashi sighed relieved, making his way to the back of the bar, somewhat wobbly. After all the alchohol he had downed, his excuse hadn't been a total lie. He really did have to go. He hadn't been too much of an irresponsible drinker though. He knew his limit. He had only gone past it by three drinks, not too shabby in his cloudy mind.

Kakashi stumbled through the men's bathroom door with the intent to finish up quickly and make a swift, unseen exit. He didn't feel too bad about ditching the annoying woman waiting for him. Besides, he was pretty sure Genma wouldn't let what-ever-her-name-was go home by her self. Kakashi was relatively sure that the self proclaimed gigolo would promptly add her to his harem for the night.

Kakashi sighed in fustration. He found himself wishing he could be more like his unscrupulous friend again, but quickly threw that thought right out the window. Kakashi definitely knew he had too much to drink when he started thinking along those lines.

Trying to clear his alcohol blurred vision and thoughts; he went about doing his business.

The sound of the door followed the sound of his zipper. Having just finished up, Kakashi turned around, intent to leave.

He found an obstruction facing him, in the shape of the giggling woman he had tried to escape earlier.

Thoughts of 'What the hell?' ran through his mind, eye wide with surprise. 'Had she decided to intrude on her own or had-'

The girl fortunately lost her drunken giggles to move closer and purr in his ear. "Genma-san said I should come and see what's taking you so long." Kakashi uncosciosly backed himself up against the closed door. The purring vixen continued to advance. "He said you might need a little help."

Kakashi scowled behind his mask with serious thought of causing bodily harm to his so called friend. 'That bastard…'

A hand on his thankfully covered crotch brought him out of his murderous thoughts. His unwanted response was just a testament to how long it had actually been since he had last felt someone else's touch beside his own. The blatant twitch under her palm and the slight hardening she felt only seemed to fuel the lust filled woman further.

She devilishly smiled up into his dark orb, lips inching towards his cloth covered own. That's when he noticed something…her jade colored eyes. In his inebriated haze, he pictured those eyes belonging to another kunoichi, letting her press her warm, sake damp lips against his mask.

Then, reality set back in the moment he felt her hand squeeze around his rapidly hardening member. 'Sakura would never-'

Kakashi roughly grasped the (now) startled woman by her shoulders and pulled back. He wildly looked down at the confused woman before him. The woman, who was so willingly offering herself to him, he knew, may share the same jade colored eyes and looked to be roughly close in age as his young teammate, but she wasn't Sakura.

Kakashi found himself waging an inner war then, brows furrowed in consternation. 'Genma's right for once. I do need a distraction.'

With renewed motivation, he grabbed the wavering woman's hand and tugged her over to the nearest stall. Besides, it didn't look like his sultry companion disagreed.

A Few Hours Later

Was it necessarily a bad thing if a person had rough, vigorous sex while imagining their partner as someone else entirely, especially if said imaginary person had: pink hair, green eyes and creamy skin?

As Kakashi laid on his bed, insomnia kicking into high gear, he felt that answer to be a well respected…yes. He knew something was wrong with him. He was well aware that he was a bad, bad man. Hatake Kakashi had stooped to an all time low. He had done 'Genma things' and now felt appropriately 'Genma Dirty'.

This 'thing' of his was slowly turning into something even worse…an obsession.

He knew this to be true by not only the fact that he had imagined the woman he had pressed face first against the bathroom stall door to be Sakura, but he had actually…called her by his young teammates name as he had climaxed as well.

Thankfully, highly sated and glossy eyed, the screechy voiced woman hadn't seemed to care. Truthfully, Kakashi didn't think she had heard him, what with her own high-pitched wail of an orgasm echoing off the tiled walls. But he had and that had unsettled him immensely.

Kakashi had been disgusted with himself and left immediately afterward, not sparing even the slightest goodbye to his 'substitute lover'.

Even as he laid there, guts churned in a knot over his latest twisted conquest, he couldn't deny the fact that it had been a much needed release. And even though he desperately tried not to acknowledge the fact, a much needed release heightened to an all together new degree with the image of his favorite kunoichi being the willing recipient of his carnal desires.

For once, Kakashi's brilliant brain had let him down. The little romp in the men's bathroom had not helped as he had so hoped. It had only made things worse.

Kakashi sighed as sleep slowly crept over him. 'What else is there left for me to do?'