Opera House Emails Chapter 8: Part VIII, a phantom of the opera fanfic

Disclaimer: We do not own the Phantom of the Opera… maybe if we did, our friends wouldn't ridicule our "phanphiction"!

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Part XIII

From: divalady(at)operapopulaire. com
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny .net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org
Subject: Your Darling "Star"

Don't bother hunting down the Opera Ghost, because I am the one who is holding your Christine captive. You will not get her back until you agree to my list of demands:

- La Carlotta will receive the lead role in every opera
- One thousand francs will be spent each year on publicity for La Carlotta
- La Carlotta will get a large raise
- La Carlotta will get a personal hair stylist, manicurist, and fashion designer… like little pets…
- You will tell everyone you know the following message: "La Carlotta is the bestest singer ever!"

Further demands will be made if you make this transaction a difficult one. You have been warned!1!11!

"Superior Singer"

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From: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny .net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org
Subject: Christine Daaé

Dear all,

Thank you for the lack of help in finding our leading star. However, we are pleased to announce that we have recovered her safely. Unfortunately, we have realized that her voice isn't actually all that nice, and are demoting her from the leading soprano position. La Carlotta, the most wonderful singer the world has ever known, will resume the position which was wrongly taken from her.

We admit, the only reason we cast Mlle Daaé was due to our patron, le Vicomte de Chagny's urging. It has recently come to light that she has been… uh… entertaining him personally as well as onstage, and thus doesn't actually possess the ability to be the lead.

Your Managers,
Andre & Firmin

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

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From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com
To: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: FW: Christine Daaé

My darling Christine,

I cannot believe you would betray me! I thought I had finally found someone to love me… yeah, so you called me a psychopath and claimed to despise me until the end of eternity, big deal… women always say the opposite of what they mean…

I am truly hurt by your actions… you and the fop… it's just so wrong!

However, I do not care. Since nowhe cannot help further your career, whereas I can, I do hope that you will see it is best for you to return to me, your teacher, protector, guardian, stalker, er… I didn't mean that…

-Your Angel of Music

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

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From: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny .net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org
Subject: FW: Christine Daaé

Dear gods, such slander! I must make it clear that there is nothing, I repeat, nothing, going on between Mlle Daaé and I. I am shocked and insulted that you would even think such a thing!

le Vicomte de Chagny (who is not about to marry a common chorus girl)

"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!"

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From: frozenexpression (at)operapopulaire. com
To: prettyinpink (at)dechagny. net
Subject: RE: FW: Christine Daaé

Raoul! What do you mean? Do you not love me anymore? Do you not wish to marry me anymore? Whatever are you talking about? Ohh.. I am so dreadfully confused! Perhaps I shall ask my Angel of Music about this… he's sure to have an answer for me!

-Christine

"…angel of music…"

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From: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com
To: divalady(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: FW: Christine Daaé

There, worded just like you asked. Good?

-A&F

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

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From: frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: Auditions

Hello my pretties.. umm.. I mean, dear all:

As you know, we shall be performing Faust for the next opera. I have temporarily suspended La Sorelli for getting drunk and sneaking out with a certain Comte, who shall remain unnamed, during the performance of Il Muto, so she will not be dancing the lead.

Whoever feels that she, or he, can dance the part should come tomorrow evening for try-outs. Please bring your own dancewear, as the last time I lent out things.. well, it was just not pretty.

-Mme Giry, aka Dancer Extraordinaire

"Don't just do it, dance it!"

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Dear all,

We are very thrilled to announce that a meteor shower is approaching and will make a spectacular sight in the night sky tomorrow night! We encourage all of you to join us in witnessing this extraordinary phenomenon! Also, as a courtesy to all night-time stargazers, we respectfully request that you close your shutters when turning on indoor lights to avoid light pollution. With your help, we can all have a wonderful night of meteor-watching!

Luv,
Andre and Firmin

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

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From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com
To: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net
Subject: A Proposal

I know we have had many… differences of opinion… in the past, but I must admit, Monsieur, that you do have a talent for programming viruses. One wonders if you picked that up at beauty school, as well. Anyway, I would like to propose a collaboration of sorts. Normally I would never consider even a temporary truce, but desperate times call for desperate measures. My inbox is suffocating under the weight of those bumbling "managers"' emails.

If you are willing to join me in a mission to shut down Andre and Firmin's mass-emailing hobby, meet me in Box 8 (since there is now a nauseating raspberry conditioner smell in Box 5… although, your hair's much less frizzy now; I must commend you) at 20:00 tonight. This is O.G., over and out.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind…"

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From: bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net
To: prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: Apologies

My darling Sori,

I'm so so so so sorry for getting you into trouble! As an expression of my regret, I have written you the following poem, I do hope it is angsty enough for the occasion:

I
Am so
Sorry; my sorrow,
Like, it bleeds
Crimson!(one!1!1!)

But really, if they're going to suspend you despite your obvious talent, I think you shouldn't bother to stick with them. Come marry me! I'll take you to Rome! You can sing at a real opera house there!

Lovingly,
Philippe

"Everybody loves a well-educated man!"

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From: frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com
To: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: Your audition

Dear Mlle Daaé,

Thank you for taking the time to try out last night. However, as I feel that the Prima Ballerina should at least know the basic ballet steps, I cannot cast you in the lead.

Do not take this as a rejection, although, if you want to be technical about it… it is. You see, just because you're cast as one of the dozen simpering maids does not say any less about your dancing abilities. It is rather that I believe you will learn and experience more from that role…

Ookay.. even Meg, poor naïve girl, wouldn't buy that… so yes, I think you suck, and should just stick to singing.

Mme. Giry

"Don't just do it, dance it!"

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From: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org
Subject: ProNotes (tm)

Dear, fabulous peeps,

We have recently discovered a delightful new Internet gadget, ProNotes. com! It allows you to send anonymous messages to your fellow friends and family :-)

So, when you're not sleeping, eating, busy with rehearsals, running off with rich nobles, or "visiting" deformed musical geniuses, we ask you to please go to their website, and write a couple of uplifting, cheery, spunky, and generally peppy notes to other members of our blossoming community.

Luv,
Andre and Firmin

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Authors' Note: Review, or else Philippe will write you a love poem! Anyways, next chapter shall be another special feature, featuring various ProNotes from our beloved characters. So, for every review we get, we'll write one ProNote; sound fair? (And it doesn't count to send us spam reviews! Although.. we do -heart- spam...)