Author's Notes: CW SG 6x01-6x07 were incorporated into Adventures of Supergirl Season 5.5. Adventures of Supergirl Season 6 will begin with 6x08. Even though this episode was filmed in the winter in Vancouver, this Adventures episode takes place in the summer of 2021.
Season 6
Brainiac 5 exited a bakery late at night with a cake in hand. As he walked towards the Tower, he barely dodged a mother and her baby carriage, unnecessarily spun the cake around someone carrying several shopping boxes, avoided a plumber with a long pipe, dodged several people, entered and exited a taxi much to the driver's dismay, walked in the middle of traffic across the street, and then flew straight up into the Tower.
"Really?" Nia shook her head as she had witnessed the entire scene. Brainiac 5 had nearly disrupted the lives of everyone on the street with his antics. Nia opened the box and saw the "Welcome Back, Kara" words on the cake.
"I must now secure the cake," Brainiac 5 said placing it in a locked safe with a combination.
"Why? Do you think I'll eat the whole thing before Kara arrives? I'm not an animal," Nia said offended.
"All organic creatures are animals," Brainiac 5 said dismissively.
"Yeah, well that means you've been making love to an animal for the last year," Nia said thirstily.
"You're not wrong," Brainiac 5 confirmed.
"Let's go," Nia invited having had a sudden dream that Kara was on her way.
"As you wish," Brainiac 5 said leaving with her.
The doors opened as Kara and Mon entered the Tower and found it completely empty. Kara looked around completely dismayed. "No 'Welcome Home, Kara', no cake, no balloons, no one here? What the fuck?" Kara said pissed off.
Kara went over to the coffee machine. "Damn, even cold coffee," she said unimpressed and then heated it up with her heat vision.
"Compared to the 31st century, this is like being in a Medieval castle," Mon said of the Tower's technology.
"I know, right?" Kara agreed.
"Perhaps, we should go back to Argo City where they know to give you proper respect," Mon suggested.
"And we shall, but I need to know what's going on with my job," Kara said realizing she had left Andrea hanging for nine months.
The next day, Kara, Mon, and Nia were in the Catco elevator together all wearing appropriate civilian attire. "So, how was your night?" Kara asked Nia knowingly.
"It was adventurous," Nia said embarrassed.
"Well, it better have been to miss my homecoming," Kara said glaring at her.
"Who is he supposed to be?" Nia asked referring to Mon.
"He's my Uncle Bob," Kara said.
"But he looks to be the same age as you," Nia pointed out.
"You trying to say I look old? Those be fighting words," Kara said pissed off.
"You've been gone for nine months. Andrea expects great things from you," Nia informed her.
"Well, I can't please everyone," Kara said dismissively.
"I wish I was more like you in some ways, never anxious or nervous," Nia admitted.
"When you stop giving a shit, you'll find tranquility in your life," Kara advised.
"So, you're not mad I told Andrea you were reporting on a Latin American resistance fighter...who you've also been sleeping with?" Nia asked.
"What? How dare you!" Kara shouted outraged.
The doors opened with Andrea eying the three of them. "Shit," Kara realized.
"Good morning, Andrea. Time to get some coffee, the best thing about Catco. Let's go, Uncle Bob," Nia said taking Mon away.
"Kara Danvers, welcome back. After nine months of paid leave, you better have a Pulitzer on your hands," Andrea said.
"I thought Pulitzers actually hurt our ratings. It's the whole reason I lowered my standards to nothing last season," Kara said confused.
"Everyone has a role to play at Catco. You're here to bring us prestige and everyone else is here to actually make us money," Andrea explained.
"Oh, well, I'm not actually done with it," Kara said. "Actually, there is no story."
"Wat?" Andrea snapped.
"Yeah, Miranda or whoever the fuck...changed his mind at the last minute. He said he would take everything off the record and deny everything. You know how it is with these resistance leaders, they want fame but their lives depend on secrecy," Kara said knowingly.
"Well, that is disappointing," Andrea said pissed off.
Kara nodded condescendingly. "Kara, you're late to the staff meeting," Andrea barked.
"How can I be late if you're also late?" Kara questioned as Andrea walked away.
Andrea gathered her reporters together for a staff meeting in the center of the room. "Where's Mon?" Kara asked Nia.
"I don't know," she admitted. "He disappeared on me."
"Can anyone tell me what this is?" Andrea asked as she displayed a list of newspapers corresponding very closely to where superheroes live.
"The top news companies in the country," Nia answered.
"Yes, and Catco is number eight," Andrea pointed out.
Kara clapped inappropriately. "Oh, sorry, I didn't realize being eighth in the whole country was a bad thing," she said sheepishly.
"No one remembers who is number eight," Andrea said peeved.
"To be fair, no one gives a shit who's number one either," Kara pointed out. "I mean, this is the first time a ranking system of news outlets has ever been done here."
"Look, I know our reputation took a little hit after an alien entity took over our severs and nearly killed off a third of the world's population...but we must do better," Andrea said forcefully.
"Here, here," Kara agreed.
"Catco had the tradition of being the to-go place for news. We were trusted and respected," Andrea continued.
"That was never the case since I've been here," Kara said softly to Nia.
"We must be breaking news, more hard-hitting journalism. We must rebuild our image. Dig deeper," Andrea said.
"You hear that? We need to be deeper," Kara said to Nia.
"We will be number one in the next month's ranking or I will get a new staff," Andrea threatened. "Am I clear? Now, back to work."
Kara was about to skip out of the office when Andrea stopped her. "Kara, I have been shockingly patient with your long absence resulting in zero stories, so you owe me," Andrea said. "I want an exclusive with Supergirl on how she stopped the Metropolis attack," Andrea demanded referring to Morgan Edge and crew.
"Say what now?" Kara asked playing dumb.
"The attack on the city by Kryptonian-powered humans led by Morgan Edge," Andrea reminded her. "I want a list of the victims. I don't want you to skip a single thing."
"Yeah, sure, I'll get right on that," Kara said having no intention of doing so.
Kara plopped a large list of victim names on Nia's desk. "Holy shit," Nia said stunned.
"Yeah," Kara agreed. "I feel so burdened by this. Like, I could have done more."
"It's all in the past," Nia assured her.
Kara and Nia then noticed Mon picking up the photocopy machine off the floor to get it to work again. "You should probably talk to Uncle Bob," Nia advised.
"God damn it," Kara cursed as she went over to him. "Mon, what the fuck are you doing?"
"The fucking thing sucks," Mon complained.
"You trying to make photocopies of your dick?" Kara assumed.
"No," Mon lied as he placed it back down.
"Let's go get some coffee," Kara said realizing bringing Mon to Catco was a bad idea...again.
"Actually, I have plans," Mon shut her down.
"Plans? You don't have plans," Kara scoffed.
"I'm actually seeing someone. Her name is Mary Sue. She's a pediatrician that selflessly spends her free time at charity fundraisers," Mon detailed.
"Wow, Mon. Do you even know what a pediatrician is?" Kara asked condescendingly.
"Hold that thought," Mon said as he walked out onto the balcony to bug Nia.
"I actually came out here to be alone because I'm having really distressing dreams about...," Nia said.
"You know, there was a moment in there when I was having ten phone calls at once. This power to talk shit to so many people at the same time is intense," Mon mused.
"Who exactly did you talk to?" Nia cringed.
"Mon, Nia, we're leaving," Kara ordered.
DEO Fortress
The Super-Friends assembled as Brainiac 5 made preparations for the time machine. "You sure this is safe?" Kara asked Brainiac 5 as she looked upon her infant daughter.
"The risk is minimal," Brainiac 5 assured her.
Kara approached Kon and Mara. "I don't what I would have done if you had died in the war. While in that cage, I worried I would never see you two again. I'm glad I never have to feel that again," Kara said as she embraced them.
"It's only because of you that we're here," Mara pointed out while holding Kameron in her arms.
"Well, apologies from Kelly. She really wanted to be here but she had a social services orientation she had to go to," Alex said lamely.
"I'm sure that will come up later," Kara rolled her eyes.
Mon gave Kon a firm handshake and then hugged Mara. "We'll miss you," Mon said sincerely.
"It was an honor to meet you two," Hank said. "I look forward to seeing you again a thousand years from now."
"The honor was ours, J'onn J'onzz," Mara bowed her head to him.
Alex then went up to Mara. "I know we've had our arguments but you will always be family to me."
"Family first," Mara agreed, embracing her.
Kara came up to a subdued Kon. "Nice save with that satellite," she complimented.
"Sure," Kon said looking away.
"Come on, say something disrespectful," Kara said mock pushing him.
"If you die in this time, I'll sack the Galactic Federation and rule as an Insane despot," Kon promised.
"That's the spirit," Kara smiled pleased.
Kara then turned to all three of her children. "For you, it will be instant but for your father and me, it will feel like an eternity."
The time machine then became active with static electricity flowing around the three of them. Kon and Mara gave their parents the salute. Kon and Mon saluted them back. The static electricity became more fierce and then they were gone in a flash of light. Kara embraced Mon tearfully realizing the next several months would be tough. Alex gave Kara a sympathetic look while realizing how much she was losing out on.
Metropolis
Kara entered Catco late and was hauled into Andrea's office. "Where have you been?" Andrea demanded.
"I just got a lead on a major natural disaster story," Kara lied.
"Does it relate to Supergirl?" Andrea asked.
"Well, no, but a thousand miles away from Metropolis, there is a literal island of garbage. It's just sitting there...so...yeah," Kara said looking at some papers Brainiac 5 had sent her.
"Kara, that's hardly news. There are garbage islands in every ocean," Andrea said.
Kara simply gave her a blank look. "Is there an angle to this story, an evil corporation maybe?" Andrea asked.
"Corporations would never do that," Kara said naively.
"Kara, I have to fire you," Andrea said finally.
"What? You can't fire me. I've been here since...2013...damn," Kara said amazed.
"Well, I'm your boss and your performance has been subpar. You think you can win a Pulitzer and then not show up, be chronically late, ignore your emails, and write whatever stories you want?" Andrea asked.
"Yeah," Kara said nonchalantly. "If you fire me, I'll simply jump ship to one of the seven news outlets ahead of us."
"You have a non-competing agreement with us. I'll sue your ass," Andrea threatened.
"I am insured, so I don't give a shit," Kara said unconcernedly.
"No one will hire someone like you," Andrea glared.
"That's where you're wrong," Kara smirked. "And I'm taking Nia with me. Your diversity quota is now fucked." Kara then left the office finally ending her tenure at Catco for good.
Kara entered the Tower and found Hank and Mon. "Your oceans are fucked," Mon reported.
"You mean, our oceans are fucked, asshole. This planet belongs to both of us," Kara corrected.
"There's a nuclear reactor leaking in the garbage dump. Barney says he can render it inert on a molecular level," Hank said.
"Barney always makes things cheaper and easier to manage," Kara praised.
"The death of the oceans was the tipping point of your planet's destruction," Mon pointed out.
"I'm so glad you're a subject matter expert on how my planet exploded," Kara glared at him.
"This is no easy fix. It's complicated," Hank said delicately.
"It's actually super-easy, barely an inconvenience with the right leadership," Kara said, impressed with herself.
"I want more records on Krypton's destruction...to study," Mon said with false sincerity.
"You don't study for shit. You just want to see my planet destroyed on loop. You can go fuck yourself," Kara said offended.
"As you wish," Mon said grabbing Kara and instantly taking them both to the Fortress of Solitude.
Nia entered the Tower anxious and frustrated. "Have you seen Kara? I think she got me fired," Nia said to Lex Luthor who was on the computer.
"She's in the Fortress of Solitude," Lex said vaguely.
"That's great that they get to share that," Nia said sadly.
"Something wrong?" Lex asked.
"No, I'm fine," Nia downplayed.
"You miss your mother," Lex sensed.
"I'm really happy for Kara. She has a husband, kids, lots of money, and power beyond imagination," Nia listed off.
"You feel left out," Lex figured.
"I would do anything to have another day with my mom," Nia said sadly.
"As a clone, I don't remember how my mother was while I was growing up. I only know her now as a cold bitter woman," Lex remarked.
"I'm sorry I brought it up," Nia said embarrassed.
"No, explore these feelings. Instead of your dreams controlling you, take control of them," Lex advised.
Fortress of Solitude
"My aunt and uncle did a great job with this place," Kara said impressed by it.
"You mean Astra and Non?" Mon asked confused.
"Don't be an ass," Kara scolded.
"You still mad about all those mating sessions with Gine?" Mon asked.
"Just...envious and ashamed of myself for not measuring up," Kara admitted.
"Sexual performance is my job. You just need to stay looking pretty," Mon told her.
"Sometimes, I want to be an Insane like you. I want to be aggressive, hairy, animal-like," Kara said getting closer to him.
"Be careful what you wish for. It's difficult to turn off my rage and lust once it starts," Mon said. "If you had been born an Insane, you would never have the power you have now. You would have been beaten, mistreated, scorned, ridiculed, and pushed to your limits every day. Even then, you would have been considered no more than a baby maker," Mon said.
"That's the past. Our new Insane colony will be different," Kara said.
"Maybe," Mon doubted.
Kara and Mon proceeded to make out only to be interrupted by Kelex. "How may I serve you, Kara Zor-El?" the droid asked.
"He can be such a cock-blocker," Mon shook his head dismayed.
Kara eyed Kelex. "I have an idea."
Metropolis
Kara waltzed into the Daily Planet and entered Cat Grant's office. "Can I help you?" Cat asked not looking up from her iPad.
"I want a job," Kara said boldly.
"You already have a job at Catco, and my sources tell me you're never around as it is," Cat denied.
"I gracefully resigned from Catco," Kara lied.
Cat smiled at that. "Andrea fired you," she said knowingly. "Why don't you just sack her, throw her in your DEO gulag, and take her company?"
"I want to see her fall on her face on her own," Kara smirked.
"I'm not going to give you a salary," Cat refused.
"I don't give a shit. I'm a multi-billionaire," Kara said unconcernedly.
"Do you have a story for me?" Cat asked finally.
"There's trash in the ocean. Like...a lot of it," Kara said lamely.
"Water is also wet. Why do I give a shit?" Cat asked.
"Supergirl is going to use Kryptonian technology to clean it up," Kara said wide-eyed.
"That doesn't sound like the Supergirl I know," Cat said knowingly. "Turning over a new leaf?"
"If we don't stop ocean pollution, the Earth will be a barren wasteland a thousand years from now in the future," Kara said dramatically.
"That sounds like bullshit," Cat doubted. "Who's responsible for this travesty?"
"Lex Corp. hired a mysterious third-party for their waste management. It's actually a completely legal loophole," Kara said.
"Why do I get the impression you're solving a problem you started in the first place?" Cat said suspiciously.
Nia then entered Cat's office and then looked away completely intimidated by Cat. "Kara said to come by," she said awkwardly.
Cat stared at Nia unimpressed. "She reminds me of you when you first came to me."
At the Tower, Hank, Brainiac 5, and Alex monitored the garbage island in the Atlantic. Kara and Mon suddenly appeared in the Tower. "What did you learn from the Fortress?" Alex asked urgently.
"It's not good, Alex. According to the model, Earth's oceans' toxicity will soon reach that of Krypton causing the planet to explode," Mon said grimly.
"Wait, you're from the future. You know people from the future. What the fuck are you talking about?" Alex asked.
"Damn, she got us. You just had to ruin all the tension," Kara shook her head.
"Behold, Kelex 2.0," Brainiac 5 introduced as the droid flew into the Tower.
"He looks exactly the same except for some shoulder pads," Alex said unimpressed.
"Indeed, but he has a new function, to eliminate trash on a molecular level," Brainiac 5 said. "Observe," he said as he threw a coffee cup on the floor. The droid immediately shrank and then vaporized the cup.
"Holy shit, you could have burned my place down," Hank said displeased.
"His name is now Oscar," Kara decided.
"Why Oscar?" Hank asked confused.
"You know...the asshole in the trash can on Sessemee Street," Kara brought up.
"I know I'd be an asshole if I lived in a trashcan and kids were constantly disturbing me," Mon said.
"This is all very impressive but the earth's surface is seventy percent water. Is this one droid going to be able to handle all that?" Alex asked skeptically.
Yes...It...," Kara said slowly.
"Oscar is a prototype. After a successful test run, I will mass-produce more units," Brainiac 5 interrupted.
"Hey, I wasn't finished," Kara said annoyed.
"Can Oscar break down Kryptonite on a molecular level?" Hank asked. "It could affect the droid."
"We don't have time to waste. The Earth's destruction is imminent," Mon reminded him.
"Mon, shut the fuck up," Kara smiled amused.
"If that droid starts acting weird, I want it recalled back," Hank ordered.
"Of course," Kara rolled her eyes.
Oscar went to work flying over the ocean and zapping trash. As he did, Kara, Mon, Brainiac 5, Hank, and Alex watched a TV screen of it happening. "This is so boring," Kara said shaking her head.
"Like watching paint dry," Mon agreed.
"Every item of trash he zaps saves animal and plant life in our oceans," Alex said enthralled.
"It would appear Oscar is performing better than expected," Hank said pleased. "I apologize for my skepticism."
"You see what you did just now? You jinxed us and now we're fucked," Kara said displeased.
"That's not a real thing," Hank shot back.
Kara then got a phone call. "Lex? What's up, old buddy, old pal?"
"A woman in black that looks like Andrea Rojas just stole my files on the Super-Friends at the mansion. Suffice to say, she knows all your identities now," Lex said.
"I wasn't aware her powers included breaking into high-tech safes," Kara said peeved.
"Well, actually, the files were just scattered about on my desk," Lex admitted.
"You got to be shitting me!" Kara shouted at him. "I'm cool, I'm fine, I'm cool," she said calming herself down.
"So...?" Lex wondered.
"Come to the Tower. Don't talk to anyone," Kara ordered and hung up.
"Lex is a liability," Mon said obviously.
"I swear he does it to piss me off," Kara shook her head dismayed.
"Oscar is gaining mass. He's become a giant magnet and his core is fluctuating," Brainiac 5 reported.
"We need to bring him back," Kara said disappointedly.
"He's not responding...and the signal is lost," Brainiac 5 said as Oscar fell into the water and sank.
"Holy shit, that droid must have cost millions of dollars," Kara said stunned.
"You got satellite imagery?" Hank asked.
"No trace of him," Brainiac 5 reported.
"J'onn, Mon, please find my droid," Kara requested.
Lex then entered the Tower as J'onn and Mon took off. "Alright, Lex, time to redeem yourself from your fuck up," Kara said giving him a seat in front of a computer.
"I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I delegate people to do computer-related tasks for me," Lex protested.
"Barney, help him out," Kara said impatiently.
The two worked together on finding Oscar. "So...he's about to explode with a force of a nuclear bomb," Lex pointed out.
"What? How?" Kara asked.
"When you convert mass into energy, it has to be released somehow," Brainiac 5 said obviously. "The plan was for you to dump trash in the ocean, have Oscar convert it into energy, and then have him zap you to increase your power."
"You're not supposed to tell everyone," Kara reminded him.
"You dumped this trash in the ocean as a scheme to increase your power and give yourself another Pulitzer?" Alex accused.
"Look, that trash is serving a purpose instead of being in some landfill," Kara excused herself.
"You're unbelievable," Alex said appalled.
"It's not like this affects the future," Kara rolled her eyes.
"It affects me because I actually live in this time," Alex pointed out.
Kara kept her mouth shut not wanting to reveal she intended to bring Alex with her. "I can give Oscar a computer virus that will shut him down completely," Brainiac 5 said.
"Genius," Kara mocked. "Wait, won't that destroy Oscar?"
"If we do not destroy him, he will destroy us," Brainiac 5 said reasonably.
"You can't destroy my drone. You fix him, right now," Kara ordered.
"Look, with Hank gone, this is my Tower. So, Barney, I'm ordering you to destroy Oscar," Alex said assertively.
Brainiac 5 and Lex gave Kara a look wondering what she would do. "You pulling jurisdiction on me, Alex?" Kara asked dangerously.
"I am. So...either do as I say or get the fuck off my computer," Alex told her off.
There was an awkward moment between Kara and Alex. "Do as she says," Kara relented.
Oscar was now a skyscraper-tall monster of trash as he came to shore. He fired on some construction workers at a factory as he proceeded more inland. All the while, he collected more metallic debris to his frame. Hank, Mon, and Brainiac 5 arrived on the scene. "You got the drone?" Hank asked.
"Affirmative. The only question is how to get through the trash to reach Oscar inside," Brainiac 5 said looking around.
Oscar then fired a beam at Brainiac 5 vaporizing him and the drone. "Well...shit," Hank muttered. Oscar then suddenly collapsed as the weight of his material buckled. Hank then casually phased his hand inside the trash monster and took Oscar out.
"Here," Hank said throwing the droid to Mon.
Mon instantly teleported away, allowed the droid to explode harmlessly in space, and then came back. "Well, we did it," Lex said from the Tower.
"You're all irresponsible assholes," Alex scolded.
Metropolis
Kara had a chat with Cat Grant at the Daily Planet. "So, Andrea knows who you all are," Cat said intrigued as she took a sip of her coffee.
"Yep," Kara said slightly concerned.
"Is not like what she has is proof. They're just profiles," Cat said dismissively.
"She's going to hire investigative reporters to track my movements," Kara figured.
"I'm sure you'll find a way to get rid of them," Cat said. "Unless, of course, you want to get ahead of this story and give me an exclusive on your real identity."
"Kara Zor-El is my real identity. Kara Danvers is just a mask," Kara said psychotically.
"You're concerned they'll trace you back to Midvale, to your sister?" Cat asked.
"I want to keep Alex safe, especially from the paparazzi, but maybe having my identity revealed will be the tipping point to having her come back with me to the future," Kara considered.
"You're playing a dangerous game, Kara," Cat lectured. "But I'll be damned if, after all these years, Andrea Rojas gets the scoop on this story. So, either give me the exclusive I deserve or shut her down."
"As you wish, my master," Kara bowed her head.
Kara went back to her old apartment and sighed as she remembered her kids living there. She then scanned Alex's apartment with her falcon X-ray vision to see how she was doing. "I'm right here," Alex said as she entered.
"Let me get you a glass of wine," Kara offered.
"No, I'm good," Alex said uncomfortably.
"More for me then," Kara said as she popped the bottle and poured herself a glass. "Thanks for consoling my son. He can be a handful."
"No problem," Alex said. "When I saw your kids go back to the future, I was reminded of the fact that eventually, you'll go back, too. That, at any moment, you'll slip away from me, forever. I didn't want to talk to you about this because I wanted to shield you from the pain of not being around your kids. It just suddenly dawned on me that I have a choice to make. I can either go with you to the future and forget all of this or lose you."
"I want you to be happy, Alex. I don't want to see you alone. So, before we decide on anything, let's see what happens with Kelly," Kara stalled.
"Yeah, sure," Alex nodded. "You won't try to break us up, right?"
"I swear," Kara put up her right hand. "In fact, I'm going to do everything I can to make it happen between you two."
Author's Notes: The writing for this episode was atrocious on so many levels. First, there are several continuity issues with Zor-El's discovery that the ocean's toxicity levels endangered the planet when the Earth is perfectly fine in the 31st Century. So, we're led to believe that the toxic dump of the DEO into the ocean would suddenly poison the entire planet's oceans. The odds of a falling satellite the size of the International Space Station would ignite a trash island floating on the ocean is astronomical. All of this is not only scientifically impossible but absurd that the DEO would even find its way to the ocean anyway. I'm also not sure how ocean toxicity has anything to do with a planet's core destabilizing. Also, it seemed canon that the reason Krypton's core collapsed was due to Brainiac's manipulation.
The noble environmental message is being crushed by the irrational plot. As per usual, the Super-Friends create a problem and then pat themselves on the back for solving the problem they, themselves, caused. The Super-Friends are also dismissive of the fact that Kara's general incompetence indirectly led to innocent people being attacked by Phantoms. I refuse to believe Catco is even in the top 10 news outlets in this universe. The first half of Season 6 is pure negligence and stupidity on display. Also, Kara gets her ass kicked even in her Iron Man suit.
As this is fanfiction, I can cast however I want so I'm bringing Kara back to Cat for a full circle of the series. CW ruined Andrea's character completely in 6x01 so I want to just get rid of her. I cut William out and his role in Season 5 was a tease that never paid off. Lex is replacing Lena's character for the time being. Mon will continue to play random roles in various episodes.