Part 46

"How did he get to be so - empathetic?" David asked Donna. "Is that another anti-Cam reaction?"

"I don't know, but he didn't get that being raised in upper class Florida. Maybe it was from life on the street."

"Do you know much about that?"

"No, I don't," Donna said, appreciating the way the question didn't come out sounding like a criticism, as it would have had Cam asked her. And it would have included an implication that he, Cam, knew more about it than she did. "Not yet, anyway."

"I'm glad I didn't know about that."

"Me too. I feel sad for you and him. Just now, I saw how you had some compassion for Alexander, and you don't even know him that well."

"No use beating yourself up over that now, Donna."

"No, I try not, but even without that, it was still sad, you know? You look even more like him dressed in jeans, like that. It's funny, because I think of you now as somebody who looks like Alexander, rather than think Alex looks like you."

"Hold on there!" David laughed. "I was here first. You knew me first. Remember? You know how on the radio, they play so many old songs? Songs from that era I always find depressing, because they remind me of you."

Donna smiled. "Because we were always listening to the radio in the car? Yes. Try making an association. Get me to remind you of Alexander and Virginia."

"I guess that could work."

"I'm really sorry, and I mean it, David, that I never thought of the effect on you. Not until Alexander mentioned it just now did I ever even think about there being any effect on you. I assumed it was easier not to have to raise the child than to know he existed and not be able to raise him. But when you and he were talking, it was the first time I could see how hard that was. How it might be harder in some ways, than raising him."

"I didn't mean to get you to feel sorry for me."

"I know, you wanted Alexander to know you thought about him. It just gets to me that you still have that picture."

"Oh, come on," he said, seeing she was crying a little. "Don't feel so bad about it." He went over and hugged her for a second. "What's done is done."

There was a knock on the door.

"Zander came back, maybe?" David went to the door and looked through the peephole. "No such luck," he reported. "Cam."

Donna sighed. She went to the door. "What do you want to do?" she asked David. "Hide? Ignore the knock?"

He laughed. "Oh, just let him in and get it over with."

She smiled a little, and wiped her eyes again.

Cameron came in. He looked coolly at David, as though he figured he would be there.

"I want to talk to you alone," he said, to Donna.

"All right. Later, maybe."

"But since you're here," he said to David, trying to be cool and even-toned, "I'm really very curious. How long did this go on?"

"Does it matter?" David asked.

"Two weeks? Two days? Twenty-two years?"

"Maybe about a year, Cam," Donna said, figuring he was entitled to at least a few answers.

"And I guess you've told both our sons all about this sordid affair," he said to Donna, sounding hurt.

"Nothing at all. Only about Alex's paternity," she answered, sadly.

"Given what Alex said, I don't think so," Cameron answered, getting testier. "And I resent hearing my own son parrot your words in defense of your infidelities."

"It's his own opinion," she answered. "I've never tried to justify anything. I told Alex I wasn't sorry, since it's why he's here. That was to make sure he knows I love him, no matter what."

"I'm sure you've worked hard to justify it to him."

"Oh, Cam, get on with it," David said. "This is twenty-two years ago you're talking about. Forget it and concentrate on Alexander."

"It is very easy for you to dismiss your effects on his parents' marriage!" Cameron snapped.

"What effects? You got way longer than you deserved."

"We have a family here, something you don't know about," Cameron replied. "We have an older son, and he now has to find this out."

"So?" David asked. "Alexander's found out, so how can Peter finding out be more than a footnote?"

"Because he's a member of the family," Cam said. "And this hurts him."

"It does not," Donna said, impatiently.

"This Peter is like a person under a charm," David declared. "You twist everybody else into pretzels just to give him the slightest advantage. No sacrifice is too much. You stay married without caring about each other. Your younger son gets sacrificed to some sick competition Cam thinks necessary for the benefit of the older."

"I think it's way past time you shut up, Hayward!" Cameron yelled. "And you," he turned to Donna, "are going to let him go on like this?"

"David has his own opinion," she said. "He's not me. Peter's my son too, but not David's. Why would he care about Peter?"

"Why does he care about Alexander either? All of a sudden!" Cameron turned back to David. "Go home, and take your genetic contributions; you have nothing to do with us, do you understand?"

"He's not a minor child now, Cam," David said. "There's nothing you can do about it. You're not in control now."

"All the pain you're feeling won't go away by trying to increase someone else's, Cam," Donna said.

"What pain? He's had it easy! Show up when the kid is twenty-two and suddenly he's a father? Shall I give him a cigar?"

"I get that I'm not his father," David said. "I'm a friend of his now, though, and he's an adult and there's not much you can do about it."

"Alexander remembered the time David saw him, Cam," Donna said. "When he was ten."

"So?"

"He remembered it, he told me, because, he said it was strange for someone to talk to him more than to Peter. He thought it was odd for someone to have an interest in him. When he was ten. He remembered what they talked about. Tennis and windsurfing, he said."

"So, what, you're trying to prove he had some inward recognition, or what?"

"No, that you and I got him to where he thought it would be strange anyone would talk to him. He can remember somebody, who was, to him, a casual passerby just because he talked to him when Peter was around."

"Big of you to take responsibility for that, Donna," David said. "Since that was Cam's project. Or headache. I believe he called it a headache. Poor Cam. Unruly teen, didn't like school, can't shoot straight."

"Shut up!" Cameron yelled at David. "Get out!"

"I'm quoting you, that's all."

"Yeah, you lecture. You're the adulterer. Why shouldn't you lecture? But I'm not listening." He went out and slammed the door.

"I'm sorry," David said in a minute. "I was getting out of hand."

"What is it about men that you have to provoke each other?"

He smiled ruefully. "I don't know."