Authors' Note: We don't own anything… actually, we own plenty, including a shiny new iPod (Eloise's) and a metric ton of physics notes (Elizabeth's). (Oh yeah, and that pile of AP homework that Eloise hasn't touched yet, just so we can get this chapter out… we marvel at our own selflessness sometime.) However, we do not own PotO or any other pop culture mentioned here.

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Part XIX

Andre: Judges, what did you think of Meg's performance?

Mme Giry: Oh, Meggie, your voice was stunning, as always! I am so proud of you. 10 out of 10!

Gerik: Whose performance were you hearing? She was awful!

Mme Giry: You horrible (yet oddly attractive) phantom-ghost-man! Meg, you were perfect, of course.

Gerik: Half of her song was painfully off-key!

Mme Giry: Oh, and you're one to talk…

Firmin: She rather sounded like she was having her vocal chords ripped out

Erik: No no, my dear sir, I assure you, she sounded more like she accidentally turned into a duck-kazoo hybrid

Mme Giry: Fineee, you whiners. 6 out of 10. Happy?

Andre: Um… so, Raoul, what score do you want to give her?

Raoul: Well, her voice kind of made my glass crack… from across the opera house. 2 out of 10.

Mme Giry: Monsieur de Chagny! I never thought you were such a cruel, cold-hearted, unfeelingman.

Raoul: I do feel! I felt glass shards poking into my eye not five minute ago... On the other hand, I'll give her a 3, because I really did like the song.

Gerik: You would.

Raoul: Hey!

Sorelli: I liked it too!

Erik: The line about giving her heart to an angel was, uh, interesting…

Meg: -dreamy sigh-

Firmin: Meg, performers aren't supposed to be replying to comments… and Gerik, what score did you give?

Gerik: 1 out of 10… her hairstyle was a little cute. Reminds me of Christine's hair that one time when she had on raccoon-makeup…

Andre: Uh… well, let's hear Christine now!

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Firmin: Wow-zah! That was absolutely perfect, I must say!

Mme Giry: That's up to the judges, I'm afraid. I personally see nothing good about her crooning

Raoul: but she sang so prettily! 10 out of 10

Mme Giry: she sounded like she was about to die…

Gerik: no! It was goooood! You have to give her a good score, or I'll… I'll… I'll threaten you!

Mme Giry: ah well, Meg's going to win anyways, what can a couple of points do? 8 out of 10

Raoul: but that's the point! I think… wait… what's the song about? I couldn't really hear her through all the fake crying

Gerik: well, "My Immortal"… judging by the title, it should be about something immortal?

Andre: so what things are immortal?

Raoul: Cinderella? They never said that she dies…

Erik: just… no.

Meg: no? i tink thats pocibal

Raoul: can't help it! I was always the pretty one; Philippe inherited all the brains

Philippe: vampires?

Gerik: fraternizing with those no-good suckers? nooo… not my Christine!

Erik: Hey, she's not yours

Gerik: Same difference. Actually, I've always wondered about that phrase… how can something be same yet different?

Erik: well, it's an oxymoron

Raoul: a whaa?

Erik: an oxy-

Andre: moving on! What else, Philippe?

Philippe: umm… the devil? zombies? ghosts? wait, no, those are dead… angels?

Gerik: OMG yessssh! I love you too, Christine! 10 out of 10!

Firmin: huh?

Gerik: She calls Erik… me… us? Yeah, us, her "Angel of Music"...

Raoul: huh… guess that's why I see "I -heart- AoM" all over Christine's notebooks…?

Erik: heh, looks like we got a smart one here

Raoul: why thank-- omg! That's why I see "I -heart- AoM" all over Christine's notebooks!1 Oh no! The horror! -cries-

Firmin: right, well, let's tally up the scores… Meg, you have a total of 37 points

Andre: and Christine, you have… wait, that's not right… negative 15?

Firmin: no, dear Andie-bumpkin! That's the subtraction button! You want the one that looks like a plus! Christine's score is 41.

Andre: oh.

Gerik: Hooray! Go Christine!

Raoul: Yay! Wait.. nay? I'm confused…

Firmin: now… with Christine in the lead, we move on to the last part of tonight's program, the SATs!

Mme Giry: the what?

Andre: some sort of weird American standardized testing for high school kids he picked up while backpacking across the continent…

Firmin: It is the ultimate test of knowledge and skill!

Erik: Skill?

Firmin: Filling in the little bubbles is an art form unto itself.

Andre: Well, we must give Christine and Meg 3 hours to complete this test. Shall we adjourn for the time, or would you like to hear my halftime commentary?

Philippe: I think we should adjourn.

Andre: Are you sure? I have some interesting insights, and we could do recaps…

Erik: That's really okay.

Andre: I could draw the little football vectors for their dances:-)

Nadir: Run, people!

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Firmin: Welcome back! Our rented Scantron machine has been chugging away, and the scores are in. We won't need judges in this round. Instead, the participants will be awarded one point for every 100 points they earn on the test.

Meg: Oh-em-gee…i just got mi skor…

Mme Giry: Yes?

Meg: 1580!

Andre: Oh dear… out of 2400? Well, Mlle Giry, it looks like you need to do more studying…

Firmin: Ah, I was only able to get some old copies, so this is out of 1600, with two sections each worth 800 points total.

Sorelli: so Meg got almost a perfect score?

Raoul: Obviously, the test was completely simple. Christine, dear, how did you do?

Christine: Um… 640?

Philippe: On which section?

Christine: huh?

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Authors' Note: Meg's song is "How Long" by Dream, by the way, and Christine's is "My Immortal" by Evanescence. Judge them by the songs, not us! Really, we in no way condone the singing of or listening to these songs.

Next chapter: the aftermath, and a strange new thing called OperaJournal. Hmm…

Elizabeth would like to say: Woo Italy! Zidane sucks!

Eloise would also like to add: Zidane does not suck, he's just misunderstood. Like Erik. So there. Vive la France…

PS. Review please?