Part 47, NC-17
"I feel bad for David he's dragged into it," Zander said to Brenda. "Yet I'm glad at the same time. I felt much better after I talked to him. And Mom."
"He's not dragged. He doesn't have to be here," Brenda said.
"I still think I'd be a little upset if not for both of them talking to me like that about it afterwards. Before, when I was on my own, I only had myself, and I thought and thought until I felt much worse."
"It is good for you to have somebody older, who has been through more, and who feels connected to you."
"You don't have that."
"Sometimes, I do. And I have good friends."
"I never did. Now I can see how I got so attached to Emily. It was like she was my whole family. Which was way too much to ask of her. Way too much. No wonder she wanted to give it up."
"She says not."
"I don't think she realizes it herself," he said. "But it was too much for her."
"You are too much for her," she said. "In a lot of ways."
"I was trying to give her what I thought she wanted," he said. "I think, because I felt guilty. I was also grateful to her, because she didn't come down hard on me like she could have, with the law, you know? And nobody else was even nice to me. It's not that being in love is bad," he said, drawing her closer, "it's that it wasn't it. I only thought so. Really being in love feels good. Taking the same classes. Kidding around. Simple, fun."
"Yes, it's simpler. I thought that too. It was all something else. Maybe more dramatic, and so you think it's love because of that. Not like this. Easy and simple, and just makes you happy."
"Yeah, happy," he said, pulling her into his arms.
He pulled her down to the floor. She laughed as they fell.
He undid the button to her slacks and then his zipper. She ran her hands down his back and then his legs.
She moaned as she guided him into her.
His hands were under her hips, pushing her up to meet him. "Ah," she breathed, feeling him fill her up. "That's great!"
"That's an understatement," he said, breathing harder.
"I love to drive you crazy," she said, panting.
"I'm glad, because you're good at it."
He laid down next to her on the floor.
She smiled and leaned over, running her hands down his chest.
"Would you like to be conceived in a passion like that or in a staid marriage?"
He laughed. "I tried not to think about that! If I had, it was the latter. Ugh!"
She giggled. "People say they hate thinking of their parents together," she said.
"Imagine somebody who will think that way about us," he said.
"I never felt too much like that, though, because I never saw my parents together anywhere," Brenda said.
"Poor baby," he said, hugging her. "I guess I hadn't either, after all. I thought I came from a staid marriage. Which I do not want to contemplate. But now, it looks like there's a chance it was more like this," he laughed, twirling her hair, then kissing her neck.
"No one's going to get into adultery unless they are crazy for the other person."
"How would you know?" he grinned.
"I came pretty close with Sonny. A prior wife."
"Has he ever had another wife? It's hard to imagine. My wife Carly. My wife Carly. Ad nauseum. You'd think he'd be a little easier about it if he's had more than one."
"Don't worry, I'm not going to mention you and Carly. I know she was separated."
"I'm glad I've convinced you of that. But Mom was married to Dr. Dread, so it wouldn't take much."
Brenda laughed. "No, it's the other way round. Being with him could turn off your sex drive for life! It would require some real fire!"
"Like this?" he kissed her, his hands running down her sides and resting on her hips. She felt his tongue, hot, as if it were a fire.
Donna was drinking coffee downstairs. She sighed. Cameron came in and sat across from her.
"You earned it, Cam," she attacked, surprised at her own aggressiveness. She was glad she had thought of something to say before he could make his move. "Somebody has to keep after you about what a lousy father you are to Alexander, and I've found the perfect candidate."
"Like you were such a good mother."
"I couldn't be."
"Oh, that's right. You have your excuse. A few drugs and it's all gone now."
"Right. But I had you going against me too. I'm a woman and I don't think I count as a parent of boys, with you."
"Oh, you think that's my opinion?"
"Yeah."
"Well, it's not. But I had to take up all your slack."
"You helped create the need for that."
"How?"
"You made it as hard as you could for me!"
"What?"
"Oh never mind, Cam, I can see you're not going to listen."
"Hayward will find out you manipulated him into this so-called keeping after me, and he's not going to like it."
"I didn't manipulate. Anyway, even if I did, it's too late now. He knows those are his chromosomes walking around and his ego is as big as yours. It comes out more charmingly, but it's there. He's not going to forget Alex no matter what I did."
"Well, he's not a perfect candidate. He's the worst one there is. He's the one who didn't have to do anything, so how can he turn me into a good father, according to your lights, with the child grown?"
"Well, it's a good question. I don't have an answer. But that he's never been a father doesn't make you a good one."
"He has no rights whatsoever. None at all. Nothing. I did not know I was substituting for him."
"You had a right to know that. I'm sorry."
"It's a little late now."
"Yes. David had a right to know, too."
"Obviously Hayward did not care a whit about you, or you'd have gone off with him and taken both kids."
"If I wanted to leave, I could have left, David or no David. And I wouldn't have just taken your kids."
"Why didn't you? Who stopped you? Hey, I wouldn't have!"
"I didn't have the gumption. Not until they were grown. And you know you would have been as difficult as possible."
"So you waited until Alexander was missing. Literally on the missing persons list. Then you left."
"So? I kept looking for him."
"Kept looking? You didn't start looking! I did the looking. I found him. All you did was show up after I had found him."
"So I'm not as good a looker as you. So what, you found him. Aren't you glad? Don't you love him? Is that why you looked for him, or some other reason?"
Cameron got up and walked away. "Good," she said to herself. "That was too much for him."
A few minutes later, Donna looked up. "Oh, it's only you," she said, relieved to see David.
"What do you mean, it's only me?" he sat down where Cam had been sitting before.
"Cam was here. We talked for a little bit. Or, we fought for a little bit."
"I'm still sorry about last night," David said.
"I go easy on you, because you've been so good about all this."
"It's not that hard. Zander's not ticked off like I would have expected. You're treating me like a friend. The only one who yells at me is Cam. He got cheated on, defrauded into raising a cuckoo in the nest, one he happened to find particularly difficult to raise, suffered through the hunting accident, now finds out one of his kids isn't really, and I still can't whip up any sympathy for the man. What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing," she laughed. "You're normal. I like being friends. It felt a little like how it must be to deal with my child's father on equal terms, when Alex was in the hospital."
"It still must not be that hard. You still turned out a nice, empathetic, kid."
"I didn't do anything. Cam ran roughshod over it all. He reminds me of that every time I talk to him."
"You must have done something."
"I was ineffective."
"Against Cam, maybe, but you must have talked to your kids."
"Not much. I listened mostly. To Alex, mostly about sports. Windsurfing."
"It doesn't matter that it was only about sports, does it? You listened."
"Yeah."
"Anyway, I don't want to start fighting with you."
"It's OK. Maybe it's like riding a bicycle, and I can remember how. You know, I think I had more fights with you in that one year than I had with Cam in 20 years."
"That's not a recommendation. That's because it was the worst marriage in the world. You can take my word. I'm an expert on bad marriages."
"After last night and this morning you get no argument from me, Dr. Phil. Cam and I were the world's worst marriage. I'll take your trophy."
"You earned it. You stayed put. You would listen to anybody but me."
Donna smiled. "I left him, so it was you I listened to in the end!"
"Oh, so you listen to me! It just takes twenty years to sink in."
She laughed. "No wonder you don't want to fight with me! I didn't know I was that formidable!"