Friday Fun: Part Four

I never thought that going out on a first date could be so nerve-wracking and wonderful all at the same time. I knew that for as long as I lived I would never forget the anticipation and the butterflies that engulfed my stomach and made it feel tingly, as when Sean came to pick me up.

Funny how as soon as I was away from Bosco and on my way home, I felt as though I were freeing myself from some invisible hold that he had on me. I couldn't believe that I had actually felt guilty for going out on a date when he was probably going to go out after work and pick up the first woman he saw. It seemed that I was doing a lot of growing since my divorce and truthfully, I was proud of myself for waiting for a really nice guy. Bosco wasn't the only guy in the world and I was a woman with needs. And for at least one night I wanted to feel like a woman who knew what she wanted; a woman who could command the attention of an attractive man and feel sexy and alive and I knew that Sean Kelly was just the man to help me accomplish this.

Just as I was spraying on some perfume and making last minute alterations to my makeup and hair, the doorbell rang. I was in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror and wondering if it was possible for me to look any better than I did right at that moment, when I heard the unmistakable sound of the chimes. I took in a deep breath and smiled at myself.

"You look great. You can do this." I said as I smoothed down the front of my dress with my sweaty palms and then ran my hands over my newly conditioned hair that hung half way down my back, silky and smooth.

I didn't remember ever looking so good; and it wasn't just that I felt good; I looked frigging fantastic. My dress clung to all the right places, my makeup was flawless; my blue eyes brightened by new eye-shadow and mascara and my lips shiny and alluring (that's what the sales lady at Macy's told me) with my new forty dollar lip gloss. My hair was perfect after using a new conditioner that my neighbor swore by and it was like a molten gold crown that topped off all the rest.

I felt like a million bucks...and I knew I looked like it too.

I popped a piece of gum into my freshly mouth-washed mouth and did one last check at myself and then walked to the front door and swung it open. If I thought that I had made special preparations for this date; so did he.

He stood before me dressed in a black suit with a red tie that matched my dress to perfection. He wore classy black dress shoes and his dark hair was cut short and styled very well. He wore a pinky ring on his left hand that had a small diamond in the middle. I could tell that he had shaved but there was evidence of a five-oh-clock shadow growing beneath his well shaped jaw and on his sides.

He was a classically handsome man, beautiful in a way that was depicted in magazines and on television. He was taller than me, perhaps five inches or so, with a fabulous body that radiated sexuality and confidence with a little mix of mischievousness. His eyes sparkled devilishly as I pulled the door back and he smiled widely when he saw me; his beautiful orbs delighting in, and obviously appreciative of how much preparation I had put into getting ready for him to take me out.

"Well, aren't I the luckiest man in New York tonight." He said in his deep baritone voice, sending chills down my entire body and spreading into my stomach.

I grinned and ran my tongue over my lips in a flirty way. "I guess that makes me the luckiest woman." I said, stepping back to allow him to come in. "Would you like to come in?"

"I would. Thank you." He said, walking past me. "You look absolutely fabulous tonight, Faith." He said as he walked into the livingroom.

"Thanks. So do you."

"I try." He said. He sat down on the couch and crossed one leg over the other and looked around. "Nice place you have here."

"Thank you. It's home." I commented lightly as I walked over and sat down next to him. I was close but not too close. I could feel the flush in my cheeks as I looked over at him. "Would you like a drink or something before we go?"

"No thanks. Actually, we have reservations for nine so we should get going." He said, flashing a grin at me. "Did I tell you how amazing you look?"

I laughed. "Yes. I think you did. And once again, I thank you." I said, feeling somewhat foolish. I hadn't flirted seriously in years and years. I had no idea what I was doing.

I stood up and walked over to the closet and took out my wrap to drape over my shoulders. I grabbed my purse and stood back and watched him walk closer to me. His eyes drank me in; the intensity of his gaze made me nervous as he approached me and leaned down to kiss my cheek.

"I'm glad you wanted to do this."

I closed my eyes, savoring the smell of his aftershave, thinking about what it would be like to kiss him on the lips. When he pulled back, all I could do was smile and try not to melt into a puddle on the floor.

"I'm glad you did too."

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We ended up at a place in Manhattan called Serendipity's. It was a wonderful restaurant that had the best food that I'd ever eaten and it was probably the most expensive place I'd ever been. Sean ordered for both of us, which was something that I'd never had done on a date. Fred's idea of a date was getting a bucket of chicken and then making love on the floor of the livingroom while simultaneously watching the baseball game on tv. Sean was altogether the most classy date I'd ever had and it made me all the more nervous.

The main course was delicious; it was a Cajun menu complete with a shrimp gumbo with wild duck and brown rice and I had to keep myself from licking the plate when it was empty. I learned that Sean's mother was from New Orleans and that he spent almost every summer there as a kid and that was why he loved Cajun/ Creole food. We went through a bottle and a half of wine over dinner and by eleven o'clock we were both pretty much drunk, which was okay with me because it made me feel more comfortable. We had chocolate cheesecake with whip cream for dessert that was to die for and I could feel the pounds attaching themselves to my hips with every bite. But it was worth it.

We talked about everything; our families, my kids and my divorce; His family, mother, father and siblings. My dreams and aspirations were something that he was very interested in, which was funny because I wasn't aware that I wanted so much until someone actually asked me about it.

He told me that he had gotten out of a serious relationship about eight months previous; she had dumped him for a richer man...three days before their wedding date. He seemed perturbed by it and I didn't press. I mean, who wanted to know everything about ex's on the first date? He talked passionately about his job working for Donald Trump and expressed interest in so many things that I found it hard to keep up.

He worked out at the gym three days a week and on alternate days jogged through Central Park. He loved to read, especially Stephen King and he loved old movies. The more I heard him speak, the more I realized that I hadn't been living at all and that very night I promised myself that I would never again let one day slip by without doing something that I loved. He moved me that much.

Toward the end of our time at Serendipity's he broached the subject of Bosco. We hadn't talked about him at all for the entire evening, which was fine by me, but I realized that it had to come up sometime.

"So, how long have you known Mo?"

"Mo?" I asked, not sure who he was talking about. I reached over and filled my glass with wine and took a sip.

"Ya—your partner, my best friend." He said, grinning, as he refilled his glass and looked at me playfully.

"Oh." I said, feeling stupid. "I guess it's been about twelve—almost thirteen years now."

"I've known Mo for as long as I could remember and you're the first woman who he ever retained a relationship with for more than three weeks. That's gotta be some kind of record. He really thinks a lot of you, you know. I still didn't tell him about us going out. I get the feeling that he really didn't want it to happen. Do you think he was jealous?" He asked.

I ignored the question and smiled.

"And I take it you didn't tell him either?" He pressed, seemingly very interested to know the answer.

"No. I didn't." I said. "It wasn't any of his business and after he told you I was a lesbian I thought that he didn't deserve to know."

"How do you put up with him?" He asked, grinning again. Gosh, how that man loved to grin!

I laughed and threw my head back. "How? You don't know how many people have asked me that. But seriously, I wouldn't want to do this job if he wasn't my partner. He's got my back no matter what happens. I know that he'd lay down his life for me."

"And you'd lay down yours for him?"

"Of course. That's the job."

Sean leaned forward and put his elbows on the table, his chin resting in his well manicured hands. "But what does he mean to you? Other than the job because I get the feeling that there's much more there."

It seemed like a simple question and it really was. In some ways he was the most juvenile, irritating, crass man I'd ever met but in other ways he was unlike any man I'd ever known; he was caring, he was sensitive by times and I knew that he had a respect for me that was almost holy. But I couldn't say any of that for fear that Sean would see right through me and realize that I'd fantasized about my own partner for years. And even though I wanted to believe that it was over; that I was done with wishing for something that would never happen, it was hard to talk about Bosco and not let the depth of my emotions come to the surface.

"We're friends."

"Friends?"

I chose my words carefully. "Good friends. It's hard not to be when you really only have each other."

"How so?"

"When you're a cop there's pressures and feelings that go with the territory that is hard to explain to anyone else. I understand him and he understands me. Everything that we go through, we go through it together and I know what's it like to see such misery, such terrible things, that you can't even imagine." I explained, looking down into my glass, not looking at him.

"And you don't talk to any other cops? I mean, besides each other?"

"We do—it's just that we have kind of—uh—" I searched for the right words. "We have grown together for the last thirteen years and sometimes it's kind of hard to separate him from me. We're like one person by times. The way we don't have to say a word. We just know how the other is feeling. I guess to make a long story short—he's my best friend." I said, picking up my glass again and taking a big sip.

"Does he know that?"

"Know what?"

"That you're only friends?"

I set the glass down, shocked. What kind of question was that? I got the feeling that Sean was fishing to see exactly what my relationship with Bosco was and it took me to a place that I didn't really want to discuss. I had gone for years and wondered about it; had dreamed about it; had questioned it; and now he was wanting to know if there was something more.

"What do you mean?"

"Faith, does he know that you're only friends? Because he didn't want me to know that you were available and he really didn't want me to know that you were even strait—I just wonder if I'm treading on something that is better left between you two." He said, carefully, slowly, like he was afraid that he was taking away Bosco's one true love or something.

"Of course not! We're friends. That's it. He doesn't think of me that way. He really doesn't." I said emphatically.

"That's all?" He asked, seemingly relieved. "Because I want to tell him that we went out. I don't want it to be a secret. He's my best friend too."

"I swear on my mother's life." I said, giggling. The wine had gone to my head.

"Good." He said softly, leaning toward me.

At that moment I knew he was going to kiss me and I knew that it was the last moment I had to make the decision between him and Bosco.

And what did I do?

I leaned in for one of the best kisses I'd ever had in my entire life.