It's a bird! It's a plane! No... oh-em-gee, it's oh-eitch-ee!
Disclaimer: We don't own it, and maybe you should be glad.
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Part XXI
From: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net
Subject: SAT Scandal!
To anyone who thought themselves too good for us and did not deign to show up at the mandatory opera house meeting (PHILLIPE AND SORELLI, cough cough):
After a few inquiries, we discovered, much to our distress, that the SAT results from the earlier battle between Christine and Meg were… faked! We had been a bit suspicious, we must admit, since we didn't think Meg was capable of a nearly perfect score… or, that is, that the dim-witted phangirl controlling her at the time was capable of it, of course. Meg is a very intelligent and precocious girl, as Mme Giry was kind enough to point out a few dozen times at the meeting.
Well, opera minions—we mean, valued workers, now that you have had some time to think this shocking development over, what are your opinions?
Your detecting managers,
Andie'n'Firmie
"I had a dream… such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"
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From: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net
Subject: RE: SAT Scandal!
Wait, test results can be faked? I didn't know that… if I had known that, I might have gotten into my dream college…
Oh, it's so awful to discover the opportunities I missed out on:-(
Falling into a black pit of despair,
Raoul
"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"
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From: bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net
Subject: RE: RE: SAT Scandal!
As I recall, little brother, your dream college was a fashion design school… and they refused to admit you (despite bribes) because of that awful hat you designed. Oh well, at least Carlotta likes it!
Shuddering at the memory,
Philippe
"Everyone loves a well-educated man!"
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From: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net;
bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net
Subject: RE: SAT Scandal!
Umm… I think that whoever changed Meg's score also changed mine… I know I couldn't have gotten a 640! I mean, I'm sure that I got 200 points for putting my name on, and probably some extra credit for filling in the bubbles so neatly in the shape of a G-clef. Also, Raoul was tutoring me during my review before the math section! I'm so impressed that he remembers so much geometry… I know I aced all of those questions about 200 degrees being in a triangle!
Smarter than you think,
Christine
"…angel of music…"
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From: duckducknoose(at)operapopulaire. com
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net
Subject: Be glad that someone has actually been on the case…
By making use of some of my top-secret connections, I have discovered clear signs that the phangirl, acting through Meg, broke into Andre and Firmin's office soon after the SAT results were delivered and changed hers. Christine, I think that yours was not tampered with. Now that this case is closed, can we go back to actually performing operas? Because I have really been honing my stage-hand skills lately in my free time…
Eager to show off,
Nadir
"There's a reason I'm not called 'Apex.'"
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From: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net
Subject: Recent Developments
Dear all,
First of all, I'd like to thank you for rescuing me from that phangirl. Do you have any idea how awful it was to hear this powerful voice in your head 24/7 nattering on about the virtues and hotness of the Opera Ghost? Oh wait, maybe Christine does. Anyway, I have come to see her point about the Phantom... but I'm still glad she's gone!
Also, I want to make sure that you realize I am back to normal, and that I totally could have won that contest without needing to cheat, had I been myself!
Luv from,
the REAL Meg
"Cute and blonde since 1854!"
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From: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com
To: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com
Subject: RE: Recent Developments
OMG WHAT?1
I demand a recount… I mean, a rematch!
Righteously enraged,
Christine
"…angel of music…"
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From: frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com
To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net
Subject: Trivia Contest!
Citizens of the Opera Populaire (and an Underground Lurker):
At 7'o'clock this evening, the opera chatroom will be hosting the rematch to determine the intelligence levels of Meg and Christine and the final scores in their competition for the Opera Ghost. I'm sure you don't want to miss an exciting battle for troo luv!
Since the SATs are now regarded with suspicion, we will have a contest of useless facts and trivia (which, some may argue, is no different from the SATs). For each question answered correctly, the contestant will get one point. May the best triv-ster win!
Looking forward to watching Meg's victory,
Mme Giry
"Don't just do it… dance it!"
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Chat Room of Triviality-------------------------------------------------
Andre: Hallo!
Firmin: and
Andre: welcome
Firmin: to
Andre: our
Firmin: own
Andre: Chatroom
Firmin: of
Andre: Triviality!
Firmin: hey, I know we decided to split the intro, but why do I get all the non-interesting words?1 :-(
Andre: Because you're a dunce, duh…
Firmin: well, just because I'm not shrewd and calculating like some people we know…
Nadir: gentlemen, please, you're bickering like an old married couple! This sort of thing is best left for behind the bedroom door!
Christine: …
Philippe: uh…
Raoul: the mental image…
Meg: eww?
Nadir: oops, didn't mean it like that
Erik: honestly, there's no other way it could've been meant…
Sorelli: please! there are ladies present!
Nadir: fineee. Sorry, Antoinette. Happy?
Sorelli: I meant me!
Raoul: you're a lady?
Erik: obviously we are learning new things already!
Firmin: right, well, we're here for trivia!
Andre: now, we're just going to give a trivia question, and Meg shall answer first, since she has the lower score so far. If she cannot, Christine will have a shot at it.
Firmin: Andie! You're stealing all my good lines……
Andre: sorry sweetums.
Firmin: whatever. First question: What note do orchestras typically tune to?
Mme Giry: guys, can't you come up with something more… I don't know… but we live in an opera house! this is surely common knowledge…
Meg: umm… how many notes are there?
La Carlotta: 10 semi-tones in the scale, obviously…
Erik: Nono, my dear toa – lady. 12 semi-tones, 12! No wonder you're always off-key…
Gerik: really? Interesting! That explains why I always sing flat...
Meg: so… uhm…
Philippe: oh, come now, Meg. Take a guess! you have a one-out-of-twelve chance getting it right…
Meg: well, I've only heard of C, because Christine always rambles about how that's her Angel's favorite note, so C?
Andre: nope, Christine?
Christine: A, of course!
Firmin: right you are! Next question: What's the ninth letter of the Greek alphabet?
Meg: what's the greek alphabet?
Philippe: like alpha, beta, pi…
Meg: oh, well, if there's only those three, then there isn't a ninth one! it's a trick question!
Christine: nuh uh! it's iota!
Andre: right again, Christine! Ahem, what's the boiling point of water?
Meg: 212! I know… because I just google'd it
Christine: isn't it 100?
Andre: 100, yes. Don't forget Meg, we're NOT in the US, no matter what the fan phics say. Here in France we use Celsius… the dignified unit of temperature!
Firmin: oooh, are we going American-bashing? I love American-bashing! Almost as fun as fop-bashing. But alas, my lawyer made me quit… something about public image and credibility issues… :-(
Andre: no, we're not. Moving on: if a creature is "opodous," what does it not have?
Meg: a pod?
Meg: oooh, wait, no. An iPod? That would indeed be a travesty.
Christine: or, you know, feet…
Firmin: amazing! Mlle Daaé has answered correctly again! Next: In architecture, what is a "lancet"?
Meg: a miniature lance?
Raoul: icky! that'll be so tacky…
Christine: a window!
Andre: yes, yes, absolutely! May I ask, Mlle Daaé, how you are able to answer all of these correctly?
Mme Giry: exactly my thoughts. I don't remember teaching you these things as a ballet rat!
Philippe: it is… rather… curious…
Christine: umm! -flushes- I don't know, but I know one thing for sure!
Raoul: what's that?
Christine: Erik's definitely not sitting next to me and giving me the answers O:-)
Meg: O.o
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Authors' Note: here we go! Hope this chapter's up to par! Oh, and that's definitely not Andre/Firmin hints that you see. We swear. Because, you know, us writing that is as probable as Erik/Raoul subtext cropping up in the future. -shifty looks-
PS. Eloise's trying to program a Java-based PotO simulation game to demonstrate her supreme cleverness. She shall be eternally grateful if anyone can help her with a floorplan for Erik's underground home.