Part 49

Zander sat across from David in Kelly's.

"I'm sorry, David," Zander said. "I'm staring at you too much."

"It's all right. You thought you were a throwback and now you find you're not."

"I should meet Leo, and the others. It could take the heat off of you."

"Don't worry about me. We're not equal. I'm the older generation. With me it's what I caused; with you it's who you are. Besides, I've had more time to get used to your existence, and I had your picture."

"Did you love my mother? No, wait, I don't have a right to ask that."

"Yes, you do. And I won't question my younger self. I'll tell you what I would have said back then. Yes."

"I know how that is. Emily."

"Is she like Donna?"

"She's more like the way Mom used to be. Brenda is not, or if Brenda is, she is more like the way Mom is now. I know how the married woman thing is too. With the child. Though he was not their child. Carly had temporarily made him into their child, but he still was not. Carly was separated, but she sure was constantly going on about Sonny and their awful marriage, which she would do anything to save, which I could never understand."

"Me neither," David grinned. "Some marriages aren't worth the paper they are recorded on. I've been in them, but the one between Donna and Cameron always seemed to me to be made in hell and nobody has ever given me any evidence to believe otherwise. Not even they themselves. Why it was worth saving, or, no, worth even maintaining, is beyond my comprehension."

"Yeah," Zander said, smiling. "I can totally understand why you would have a hard time with that! In fact, I don't understand it. I guess it was for Pete's sake."

"I've heard that name so often, I'm tired of it. Back then. Even now. Don't think I'm callous. I just couldn't get why the world revolved around about Pete. I still don't."

"I guess I can get that. I like Michael and I always did. I would have done anything for him. I think I might have, at one time, been willing to raise him, if I'd thought about it. But I wouldn't want to name another kid that. I have heard that name enough! I heard it almost as much as I heard the name 'Sonny.'"

"I really get that. Believe me. I would have raised Pete. I would have been willing to be totally responsible for him. But given less than that, I had moments where I resented his existence."

"He's really a nice guy, in spite of his paternity."

"He'd better be. Is he good to you?"

"Yes."

"Have you talked to him since he knows? I know your mother said it makes no difference."

"It won't, I'm sure."

"If it doesn't, you'll have to lie to me, or I'll probably kill him. Cam too. That's another name that I'll never want for a kid. Cam."

"Me neither," Zander said. "Me neither."

Donna and Brenda still sat by the pool in the sun. Brenda ordered some drinks.

"What did David say when you first told him about Zander?"

"Alexander was about three and I wrote a letter. I don't know why. I'm glad now, but I shouldn't have. But when I thought he might be David's, I worried. Something could happen to me; Cam could find out. At least David would know, in case Alexander needed him after all. Plus he was the only one I could even talk about it to. It was a torture to think about it and be the only one who knew."

"What did David say?"

"What all men do at first in that kind of case. Denied it. Got mad. Then he called back later and was apologetic; that was a habit he had. So then he argued I should leave Cam. Again. I heard him argue that case so often, I practically should have called him when I did leave, just to congratulate him about being right."

"How'd he argue that case?"

"I was miserable, and that was bad for my kids; I should leave him on my own account, not his, David's. I would get custody of my kids because the mother always does. If Alex is really his, he doesn't want Cam to raise him. Maybe he's not. Maybe he's even somebody else's. And so on."

"Typical male response," Brenda agreed. "What about Pete?"

"I was so miserable with Cam, that I ought to leave even if Cam got Pete, because I would still get to see him! Visitation! Can you imagine?"

"No," Brenda smiled. "Or yeah, that he thought that was a bright idea."

"Then when he saw Alex when Alex was ten, DNA tests were better. David, ever the doctor, wanted a blood sample!"

"How were you supposed to arrange that?" Brenda laughed again.

"I don't know. But when I called about Ginny, from then, he's been really good about it. No grumbling and no denials. Just took the blood test. But, we're all older, and that helps."

"Not that old. And single."

"Yeah, I guess we all are. Not the way it is supposed to be."

"Heck, who cares how it is supposed to be?" Brenda smiled.

"I hear you. It doesn't turn out that way anyway."

"Well, is David not attractive when he's not forbidden? 'Cause now he isn't."

"Now? Well, I'm glad he's not married right now, not for David's sake, but for Alexander's, because his wife would pull back on his caring about Alex. But I only think of maybe getting them together. I'll leave David alone to get used to fatherhood, at least insofar as fatherhood is possible. In fact maybe I'll chase other women off for that."

"I'll help you."

"Thank you," Donna laughed. "That increases my confidence a hundredfold."

"There's grandfatherhood too," Brenda said. "Which you've got to get used to just as much."

"Another thing in common," Donna said. "It would be a lot more fun than with Cam."

"A lot of things would be more fun with David than with Cam. For example, everything."

"I already know that," Donna said, laughing with Brenda.