Chapter 19- Insight

Taking a deep breath, I answered. "Hello?"

"Faith?"

"Rose?"

Instantly, I began to panic. Rose never called me unless something was really wrong. My heart began to beat triple time and I swallowed uneasily.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

She paused for a moment. "Not exactly, but I wondered if you knew if something was wrong with Maurice? I'm sorry to bother you at home, but he was in here a while ago and he seemed really upset—and I knew that if anyone would know it would be you---" Her voice was tight and high pitched. "What's going on with him?"

I sighed and bit down on my lip and ran my free hand through my hair. "We've been working on a really difficult case, Rose, and it's upsetting him. He probably just needs to let off some steam."

"The case about that kid?"

He'd told her? He never discussed our cases with anyone that I knew of.

"Ya. He told you?"

"Not much, but he said that this poor little girl had been abused and that he was finding it hard to keep his distance from her. He sounded really worried about her."

She trailed off, leaving me to wonder if he'd said anything more.

"Is there something else that you're not telling me?" I asked. "You sound really upset Rose."

It was her turn to sigh. "It's just that he never opens up like that. You know him Faith, probably better than I do, and I just know that he's taking his hard. Can you talk to him?"

"Sure." I said. "He'll probably be here later anyway. He always comes over when he's upset."

"Well, he said that he had to go see someone. That's why he left in such a hurry."

As if the hand of fate had reached down and tapped me on the shoulder, or whispered in my ear, I knew where he had gone, as sure as my own name.

"I'll try and find him. " I said. "And thanks for calling Rose."

I hung up the phone and with renewed energy, that I was sure was an illusion, I went to the bedroom and got dressed. I grabbed my purse and my keys and checked to make sure I had enough money for a cab uptown.

I slammed the door and went downstairs and hailed a cab.

I got inside and slammed the door. The grungy cabbie turned around and asked me where I wanted to go.

"Angel of Mercy Hospital." I said. "And make it quick."

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As I made my way down the hall toward Lily's room I felt a sense of foreboding; I knew that he was in there with her and I also knew that it was probably tearing him to shreds. I mean, he had probably mulled over the possibility of Lily being his daughter about a hundred times and then decided to go and see her.

He was, no doubt, looking at her blond hair and her tiny face, looking for the same similarities that I had found. Looking deep into her blue eyes and seeing his own. She was very tiny for ten, but even I could see that this child was a blood relative of my partner. Why couldn't he see?

Was it because he'd have to open up a whole other door to a new dimension, where everything he'd believed had been a lie? And if he opened that door, what else was he going to find in Nicole's skeleton closet?

The door was halfway open, which I knew was more than appropriate for a man visiting a child. My mother always used to say that when doors were closed it meant that there was something to hide. I think I was the only person who knew about Bosco's aversion to closed doors. It wasn't something that he had mentioned in a long time, but I knew it still haunted him. He would never be in a room with a victim with a closed door. I don't know why I concentrated on that thought right then, but I did.

I nodded to the officer, whom I didn't recognize, and he got up and stretched. "You gonna be in there for a while?' He asked, his voice very low.

I nodded again. "Go take a break if you want."

"Thanks. " He said. He turned to walk away, but then turned back to me. "The little one gets upset when she hears loud voices, so I try 'an keep it down."

"Ya—thanks for that." I said sincerely. "She's been through one hell of a time." I started to go in but stopped. "Is officer Boscorelli in there?"

"Sure has." He said, holding his hat in his hands. "I got one at home whose about that age—sure takes a cold hearted monster to do that to a kid. He's been in there for about an hour or so." He said in answer to my question. He cleared his throat. "Still don't know how anyone could do that to a kid."

"There's a special place in hell designed for 'em." I said. He nodded and walked away, his own thoughts on his mind.

I knocked gently and stuck my head around the corner. Neither of them heard, or just didn't notice. Bosco was sitting about two feet away from Lily, keeping his distance so he didn't get too close and make her uncomfortable. My eyes misted up upon seeing him, for he was reading her a book and she was curled up on her side, listening intently. She seemed to be very content with him. He spoke with a calm, gentle voice, almost hypnotic as he sat in front of her with a slender book in his hand.

"As I walked through the forest, I came to a clearing. The sun shone brilliantly, taking me out of the darkness. Elizabeth, I called frantically. Elizabeth! She was no where to be found. I looked around me, watching for signs that she had been there, when I noticed a red scarf hanging from a tree branch----"

I cleared my throat and stepped into the room.

He looked up at me, a look of pain on his face, mixed with relief, at seeing me. Immediately he looked at Lily and spoke in a calm voice.

"Lily, this is officer Yokas, do you remember her?"

I glanced over and gave her a smile. "Hi Lily, do you mind if I come in?" I asked.

She looked over at Bosco, wondering, and only nodded when he smiled at her. "She's my partner, remember—" He turned back and looked at me. I knew that he was trying to figure out if I was upset at him. " and she's also my best friend." Our eyes met and connected and I had to fight off the urge to cry. He was apologizing for what had happened before with those words.

All was forgotten and there was nothing to forgive.

I walked over and placed my hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. He reached up and placed his hand over mine. "We were–um–just reading about Anna and her rabbit, Elizabeth." He explained, glancing up at me, trying to read what I was feeling. I smiled at him and turned back to Lily.

"Oh you were?" I asked, taking the book from his hand. I knew the story well and had read it to Emily when she was about Lily's age. "And Elizabeth's lost, isn't she?"

Lily nodded and spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "Anna's sister, Amelia, took her and hid her away somewhere. She's lost."

"I'm sure that Anna will find her." I said cheerfully, handing the book back to Bosco. I pulled up a chair and sat it beside his and sat down. "I have the next book in the series, Lily. Have you read it yet?"

Her eyes brightened a little but she shook her head. "No."

"Would you like it if I brought it here for you and Officer Boscorelli to read together? I could bring it by tomorrow." I said.

"I'm not gonna be here tomorrow." She said sadly, looking down at her hands. "The social worker said that I have to go to a foster home for a few weeks." She looked back up at us. "I don't want to go there."

"I'll come and visit you every day honey." Bosco interjected. He stared at her intently. "And Faith will come visit you too." He looked at me and gave me a pleading glance. "Won't you Faith?"

"Of course I will. Would you like that Lily?"

I felt my heart constrict with sadness for this poor girl whose life had been turned upside down. She had been violated and ripped from the only life she'd ever known, only to be turned over to a foster home where she knew no one.

She looked up at me, seemingly wondering if she could trust me. "You'd do that?"

"Sure I would. And I'll even bring the book and Officer Boscorelli can read it to you, or I can." I offered.

She nodded non-commitally. Bosco cleared his throat and stood up and motioned for me to do so as well. "We have to go now Lily, visiting hours are over but we'll come by tomorrow to help you get settled in the new place." He said softly.

She didn't beg, wouldn't beg, just pulled the covers up to her chin, which quivered. "Okay."

"We'll see you tomorrow." I said brightly. "Bye honey."

"Bye."

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As we walked out to Bosco's mustang, he reached over and grabbed my hand tightly and gave it a squeeze. He was very emotional at that moment and I could tell that he was trying to put words together in his head.

"Thanks for what ya did back there." He said, not looking at me as we walked across the parking lot.

"I didn't do anything." I said. "I just knew that you were here and I wanted to see if you were alright. It's been a long day and you must be exhausted."

He didn't answer right away, just kicked some loose gravel with the toe of his black boot as we walked along. "It's jus—it's—" He groaned and then sighed and stopped walking. "She's so lost, ya know—an she's got nobody to sit with her. Nicole isn't allowed and there's no other family around. She's stuck in that hospital bed with no one ta talk ta." His expression softened for a moment. "'An I think you're right about her. I think she's mine. She looks too much like our family not ta be mine."

I widened my eyes and sucked in my breath. "You see it too?"

He nodded. "I see it an' I don't know what the hell ta do wit' it." He shook his head and his eyes turned dark, angry. "How could Nicole do that ta me? Ta Lily? I don't understand how she could not tell me that I have a daughter."

"I feel it in my guts, Bosco. I know that she's yours. What are you going to do?"

He shrugged. "What can I do? We'll have to get a paternity test to see for sure."

He decided. "An if she is mine than she's gonna live with me cause she sure as hell isn't going back to Nicole. I'll stay in court a hundred years to make sure that doesn't happen."

If the rest of the world saw what I saw that evening they'd never believe what they were hearing. Here was my partner, the man who didn't like kids, who would never commit in a million years, talking about being a father to a child that he could have walked away from and no one would have ever known the difference. But he would have, and that made all the difference in the world.

"You're amazing. You know that, right?"

He scoffed and looked down at the ground. "Ya. Amazin. That's exactly how I'd describe it."

"Hey!" I let go of his hand and cupped my hands around his face, forcing him to look up at me. "Don't you ever say that! You have stunned me with your compassion and your goodness to this child. You have done more than anyone else has and what you did tonight—reading to her—was probably the most comforting thing she's had in a while. And now you are going to make sure that no one ever hurts her again." I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. "I'm proud of you."

He looked everywhere but my face as I spoke. I knew that yet, again, he was blaming himself for events that he couldn't control. He was always doing that; blaming himself for everything under the sun.

He gently took my hands away from his face and started to walk again. We got to the car and started toward my house. "Are you coming over?" I asked.

He looked over at me. "You still want me to?" He asked, obviously surprised. "I mean after how I yelled at ya and left ya at the house?"

"Of course I want you to come over, Bos—I want to be here for you." I said, sighing because he still thought that he wasn't worthy of anything–love, friendship, trust. It was so sad, the way he thought of himself.

"Well I guess I can come over if ya want me to." He said.

"Do you want to come over?"

Instead of answering my question he stared strait ahead.

"Bosco?"

"Are you sure about this?"

"About what?"

"This—us." He said. "Are you sure that this is the right thing to do?"

Talk about ruining the mood.

I felt my heart sink. I knew he was scared, that's all it was. But could I seriously handle him telling me that maybe we were wrong to have slept together? I felt my guard go up. Maybe it was the fact that I'd had no sleep, hardly a thing to eat, and I was would up so tight that I felt I'd snap, but found myself getting pissed.

"Why? You aren't all of a sudden?" I asked tersely. I turned to look out the window, hurt. "You think we're just gonna go back to being partners after what happened?"

"That's not what I said."

I snapped my head back around . "That's what it sounded like. It's what you said earlier today. You think that I should walk away now that we've slept together and be done with it?" I bit back.

"I didn't say that----I just wanted to know what you thought." He said, glancing over at me.

"You seriously have to ask me how I feel about you?" I barked, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes. Only God knew how I felt about him, and I knew that there was NO way that I would go back to being only his partner, after he'd become my lover. Celibacy was a word that came to mind. I'd never be able to make love to anyone else because nothing else in the world would come close. No way. I wasn't letting him go! "Didn't I show you last night? Today? What else do I have to do to let you know how I feel?"

"Faith----" He started, but I cut him off. "Can you jus listen for a second—"

"No–you listen!" I said, running my words over top of his.

"Can you–" He tried again.

"Shut up, Bosco–"

"Just—" He snapped at me, really starting to get annoyed. He hated it when I cut him off.

"Maurice!" I hissed.

He stopped talking and his mouth hung open. I don't think I'd ever called him by his first name for as long as I'd known him—accept the time that he'd accidentally got me shot in that hotel room, although it was my fault as much as it had been his.

"Faith—will ya listen ta me for a sec?" He asked, his eyes wide.

"Did you not hear me?"

"Did you not hear me?" He raged back.

"Just shut up—!" I yelled.

"I love you!" He hissed at me, as angry as I'd seen him in a while.

I stopped talking and my mouth hung open. I couldn't believe my ears. Loved me? Loved me!

"I—"

He pulled up in front of my building and slammed on the brakes. "Jeez, Faith, ya really know how ta take the romance outta it, dontcha?" His nostrils flared, and he rubbed his hand over his hair and pursed his lips together. "I wanted to know how ya felt cause I was gonna say that you have ta be sure about this----I can't go back to bein your partner if you changed your mind. Especially since things are gonna get started with Lily. I jus wantcha ta be sure, that's all." He said, a little softer. "I love ya, Faith. I've been in love with ya for years." He confessed.

"Oh, Bosco—I'm sorry." I said, reaching over and grabbing his hand. I pulled it toward me and kissed it. "I'm sorry. I thought you were changing your mind about us and I don't think that I could have barred it." I leaned over and pulled him to me and planted a big kiss on him. I leaned in and cupped my face in his hands and returned it with such fervor I thought he'd take me right there and then. A perfect example of how we fought one minute and made up the next.

We sure knew how to keep things interesting, if nothing else.

I pulled back from him only when oxygen became an issue and ran my finger over his lips.

"I love you too. I've been in love with you forever." I said. "Are you coming in?"

He nodded. "There's no where else I'd rather be then by your side, Faith."

"Do you promise?"

"Always."