Pay by London

Beta'd by TheBoredOne.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem.. if I did there would be a hell of a lot more 'combined endings.' :

Rated: T (as of now) for shounen-ai. Language.

Chapter 1: The Job

The King of Phoenicis perched himself on a window sill overlooking the city. Behind him hovered his most trusted men, gently bickering. Far below the trio lay a wide and busy street, flooded with venders, mercenaries, townspeople, pick-pockets, and one rather loud yet harmless explosion of the Reyson variety.

"How dare you look at my sister that way!" he shrieked, brandishing nicely manicured hands in the direction of an unlucky though unimportant nameless townsperson.

"Brother, I don't think..."

"Don't you ever, ever, ever lay your eyes on her again, you perv—" Reyson tripped rather ungracefully as he pursued the fleeing offender. "—erted fiend!"

"Brother.."

"Get out of my sight this instant! And mind you I can see very far!"

"Reyson…"

High above, the trio of hawks gazed upon two Serenes. "Seriously now, you've got to do something about him," Janaff whined. "He insists on verbally raping every man who sets eyes on her!"

"Prince Reyson thought for a long time that he'd lost his family. I don't blame him for being a bit over protective of her," responded Ulki.

"No but, I mean come on. She's beautiful! How can he expect people not to look? It's a wonder that he even lets her out at all..." Janaff turned his peepers down towards the crowd again. "Look! He's doing it again!"

Tibarn prodded Janaff gently. "You're just worried that Prince Reyson will prevent you from dating his sister." Smile smile.

"I am not!" Janaff insisted. "Ah.. poor Leanne. She'll never find a mate with Reyson around.. come to think of it Reyson will never find a mate, period. His idea of a good time is sighing dramatically and feeling sorry for himself!"

"Are you suggesting we do something," questioned Ulki.

"Who me? Noooo. I'm most definitely not suggesting that we should find that blond bugger a partner! Mm.. I feel sorry for her.. er.. or him already.."

Tibarn, leaning against the window frame, smiled to himself. "I know the perfect person.."

The Hawk King's Eyes eyed the Hawk King. "Oh? You have someone in mind, Lord?" Heh. I bet he wants Reyson for himself. Mm hmm. Janaff nodded to himself knowingly.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Janaff."

"What?" Janaff's head snapped up.

"Nothing."

Ulki began to eavesdrop on the people in the next room.

"Who? Who? Not me, right! Ulki?"

"Ha.. no."

"Um. Iral? Sordia? Karas? Uh.. Ike? Are you sure it's not you?"

"Keep guessing," said the Hawk King.

"..oh.. no. No. Not him!" cried Janaff in mock-horror.

"Who him?"

"That.. that.. ugh! You can't trust crows, you can't. Surely even Prince Reyson deserves better than that."

Asriel glided through the halls of the Raven King's palace, his nervousness fading upon sight of Nealuchi. Not that Nealuchi was reassuring. It's just that now he didn't have to tell the King the bad news himself.

"Nealuchi!"

"Ah?" said the old laguz. He strained his brain searching for a matching name. None surfaced.

"I ah.. I have a message. Lord Tibarn of Phoenicis is flying over tonight.. well, right now actually. He'll be here at sunset. He insists on dinner with Lord Naesala and will be leaving the following morning.."

"Dinner? Tonight? No, no. I believe Nestling has some important business to attend to tonight. Young women don't ravish themselves, you know.."

"Excuse me?"

"Huh? What? You heard nothing, young one." Nealuchi nodded to himself. An advantage to being old! Not having to remember anyone else's name. To him, everyone could be called "Young One." Nealuchi supposed that Muarim, that tiger laguz in the company of Ike had long forgotten Tormod's name, resorting to the use of the phrase "Little One."

"Alright.. Mm. Now If you'll excuse me I have to uh.. check provisions and um. Stuff." Asriel began to shuffle away nervously.

"Right after you tell Nestling the news, mm?" Nealuchi walked off, nodding to himself in a very old-people way.

"...crap."

"Why is she here?" asked Janaff, gesturing in Leanne's direction as discreetly as possible to avoid Reyson's wrath.

"Did you really expect Prince Reyson to leave her in the capital by herself?"

"She wouldn't be by herself! There are guards and maids and all those... guard and maid-y type people," he said, flailing his arms about for emphasis.

Ulki sighed. "Again. Did you really expect the Prince to leave her by herself?"

Janaff sighed. "So.. why is he here?"

"I can hear you," muttered Reyson, more than slightly irritated.

"Yeah? And I can see you!"

No he can't, Ulki thought to himself. Janaff and I are flying ahead of the Prince.. unless Janaff really does have eyes on the back of his—

Tibarn interrupted them before a fight could break out mid-air. "Next person to talk is my luuurve slave for the night. Prince or not." And all was quiet.

"Why are you here?" said Naesala, rubbing his forehead in distaste. After all, Tibarn did postpone his weekly havoc reeking.

"I... have a job for you," answered Tibarn.

"Nope, can't." Naesala pushed his food around the plate.

"5,000,000 gold."

"I've got to go into Goldoan territory tomorrow. Important job for the Apostle. Mm hmm.. Wait.. what did you say?"

"I've got a job for you?"

"No, after that."

"...5,000,000 gold?"

"Five million."

"You heard me."

Naesala's eyelid twitched a little. Five million gold? He could barely comprehend that amount of money. How could Tibarn have so much? Did he even know what a million was? Five million gold!

"Of course I know what a million is."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Hoo.. Five million.. Well then.. screw the apostle. Talk to me."

"I want you.."

"Gods, no!"

"Let me finish!" Tibarn flicked a piece of dog at the Raven King. "I paused for dramatic effect. I want you to woo Prince Reyson."

"You just asked me to 'woo' Reyson."

"That I did."

"You realize that Reyson hates my guts?"

"Yes."

"Did you know he once upended a wagon full of melons with a punch meant for my gorgeous face?"

"Mm hm. I believe you hit on his sister."

"Reyson walked in on me in the shower once and did not stare."

He takes showers, thought Ulki, listening in through the floor above.

"I know that too. He backed out of the room with a terrified cry, covering his eyes and shouting something about the loss of his sight. But I can pretend otherwise."

"So.. you'll do it?"

"Are you crazy!"

"5,000,000 gold."

"Ugh.. fine."

Ah. The power of chee—money. Yes, money.

"Details, Hawk King, details. Exactly what do you want me to do? And more importantly, when am I getting paid?"

"Make him luuuuuuuurve you."

"Uh huh. And?"

"And..."

Not too far away, Ulki's eyes bulged out of his head. He then found himself in a state of being shaken by a rather impatient Janaff.

"What did he say? What? What?"

Naesala pushed away from the table. Exiting the room, he ordered a lackey to tell the Begnion messenger that he'd changed his mind. "Oh and.. kill the messenger too."

Maybe there's still time to eat a baby or two? Just what was in that soup anyway? Is Reyson still a virgin? Well, duh.

To be continued. Nghmph. Hee. Guh. I can talk coherently. Really.