Chapter Twelve: Journey to Love
"Allie, it's so good to hear your voice! How are you, Sweetheart?"
"Dad! I didn't expect you to call today! Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Allie, and of course, I'm calling you today! I promised I'd call each and every day!"
"Dad, it's been really fun at Opal's, but I still miss you! Mr. Weiss took Opal and me fishing this afternoon, and I caught an eight-pounder! Can you believe it?" she asked excitedly.
"That's great, Sweetie! I miss you tons too! But I'm sure the week will pass really fast for both of us! Is Mrs. Weiss frying up your catch for Dinner?"
"Yes, and I cleaned it myself for her! We should be sitting down to eat in about twenty minutes!"
"You did great! You catch it, you clean it, right, Allie? Did you have a good Saturday overall?"
"That's the rule, Dad! Yes, I even studied an hour this morning for my math test Monday! After I finish it, I get to do a special art project, that's going to be a lot of fun!"
"So proud that you've studied! You'll ace that test! All your hard work is sure to pay off. I know you'll do great! Have fun with the art project, too. I want to see it as soon as I get home. Allie, I hate to go, but I better say Goodnight. My Train's about to leave! Love you to the moon, Baby Girl! And sweet dreams tonight, Princess!"
"Love you to the moon, too, Daddy! Don't miss your Train! And tell Gramma and Grappa hi when you talk to them! It's not the same, but don't worry, Mrs. Weiss will tuck me in!"
"I'll be sure to tell Gramma and Grappa hello for you! Don't forget to thank Mrs. Weiss for me. Have a great day Sunday, and behave at Church. I love you, Sweet Girl! We'll talk again, tomorrow!"
Allie had never been able to say Grandma and Grandpa when she was little. It always came out as 'Gramma' and 'Grappa' instead, so the names had just stuck, and endearingly so, with the emphasis on the first syllable and a simple 'uh' on the end. The grandparents wouldn't have had it any other way!
Nathan quickly hung up his earpiece and turned to make a dash to his Train Car's platform, where the Conductor was waiting to help him up, as there were no steps out, in order to facilitate a rapid turnaround.
This had been a super quick unplanned stop, with the Conductor allowing no one but him to deboard. The previously scheduled stops had not been long enough for him to make a call either, although he had tried each time, but got stuck waiting in long lines! So, this had been his only chance left to call his daughter.
"All done, Sir?"
"Yes, thanks for making one little Girl and one lonely Dad very happy! Really appreciate you letting me hop off!"
"Glad to do it, Sir..."
Back in his Cabin, Nathan thumbed through his suits as he unzipped his hanging case, and was actually thankful the black one came up first, as he knew Dining Cars on Trains ran toward the more formal side.
He also lifted out the black dress shoes he had worn to the Holiday Ball, from his second case.
He then unpacked a white shirt with faint gray pinstripes and French Cuffs, that Millicent had selected for him in Buxton, not something he would ever wear in Hope Valley, unless of course to a Ball or some such similar event!
As he dressed, Nathan still couldn't believe the perfect peace, yet joy, he was feeling.
It was a most unfamiliar combination of emotions to him, and so new, he had to stop and check himself every few minutes.
'Is this real?'
'Is this really happening?'
'How can I feel like this?'
'Is Millicent feeling this, too?'
And then suddenly, he knew.
They were in love, and she was most definitely feeling these exact same feelings, as well!
For they were not only in love, but they were also both in love with each other!
What a miracle!
And even more miraculously, their love wasn't going away.
For the first time ever, Nathan felt as though he was going to explode with happiness!
He was going home, although Montreal had never really been home to him, except temporarily.
It was Millicent who was now his home, wherever she was.
He was very familiar with Montreal, however, as he had stayed there for a special six-month assignment just after graduation from the Academy, and had fallen in love with the City, instantly.
Because of that, he had always been glad Millicent had chosen Montreal as her work headquarters, and by default, her home.
It was also the main hub for her Parents, the place they considered home, although they weren't able to be there as much as they liked, given Edward's vast array of businesses.
Nathan could actually visualize the places Millicent mentioned when they talked, and more importantly, he knew it was the safest of the larger Cities!
But that hadn't stopped him from being concerned about her.
Whenever he would mention his concern, she would just laugh and always briefly touch his cheek, that is, if they were together in person.
"I'll have you know, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Besides, you know how Father insists on his teams of burly bodyguards! So there! You have no worries, whatsoever!"
"Aah, if it were only so simple. But, I know you all too well, Miss Bradford. Half the time, you, not so innocently, give those burly bodyguards the slip, leaving you defenseless! And that's the very moment some unsavory criminal is going to strike!"
Each time he confronted her, she always looked a bit guilty, nervously fluttering those long beguiling lashes of hers without looking at him as she promised to do better, both knowing that was a very feeble promise at best.
So, yes, he had still worried, and stubbornly mentioned it as a reminder every time they spoke or wrote to each other.
But as far as fashion went, his in particular, which was his current concern at the moment while dressing, he was at a loss. Millicent had always teased him about his poverty of ties. And as clothes and selecting ties were never things that had interested him at all, she had made sure to round out his wardrobe over the years, by choosing some choice ones as his Birthday and Christmas gifts!
In fact, the wider, more formal tie he was now selecting to wear, had been one of those gifts. It had broad black and gray stripes on the diagonal and there was a matching kerchief, which he had never worn.
But he was feeling so happy tonight!
"Why not?"
He finished tying his tie and stuffed the silk kerchief into his upper left suit pocket, glanced in the mirror, and smiled.
Oddly, the black and gray against the white made the blue of his eyes even more intense, than if he had been wearing blue!
Standing back, he could see where the tie also made the faint pinstripe of his shirt stand out, but he would have never figured that out on his own!
"Yes, this might even gain Millicent's approval! Good grief! I'm going to have to step up my dressing game standing beside her. Although I haven't a clue how!"
Little did he realize with Millicent by his side, his wardrobe was something he'd never have to worry about again. Nor would Allie, for that matter! For Millicent was an efficient shopper extraordinaire who loved to take care of the people she loved. And she loved nothing better than to have someone with her on her shopping sprees, so she'd be over the moon having Allie to shop with!
In reality, there were going to be many things Nathan was used to being responsible for alone, that he would no longer have to even think of, much less do, although, now, his Bachelor's mind couldn't even comprehend what having a real partner meant, in the day-to-day routine of life.
Now, he could only think about the two of them spending time together, getting to know each other as a couple, in the most wonderful of ways.
Finally knowing his heart unequivocally, Nathan was at peace and ready for a week of pure romance, while planning their future together!
With one last glance in the mirror, he tamed a wayward strand of hair with his hand, picked up the sheaf of papers he had been working on most of the day, along with his pen, and placed them inside his inner suit coat pocket.
'Millicent and I have one week to get the bulk of this right. Maybe a change of scenery, from Cabin to Dining Car, will help me look back over all my lists with a fresh set of eyes, just to make sure I haven't left anything out that's important!'
He chuckled, though, as he realized Millicent would be making lists too!
Yes, in that regard, as in many others, they were birds of the same feather!
He smiled confidently and happily, locking his Cabin door behind him.
Knowing one way or another, it would somehow all work out...
As Nathan entered the Formal Dining Car, even he was surprised at its elegance.
He immediately wished his Milli was there to see it and dine with him.
She loved dining on a Train and had done so many times on her vast travels. She and Nathan had even dined together on Trains before, but as children and teens on family outings!
A searing pang of missing Millicent ran through his entire body as he had never experienced before, although he had missed her many times.
Amazing how the realization of being in love with someone literally changed everything!
Besides Nathan's table, there were only four other tables taken, all older couples.
True to his word, the Steward had arranged his table to be private, at the opposite end of the Car.
It was made even more private as he had been given the far corner round table with a plush high-backed sofa that curved around it, assuring maximal privacy.
Still, every head turned as Nathan Grant entered the Dining Car.
All the Wives straightened a bit and put on their most alluring smiles, while their Husbands all ruefully nodded their more formal greetings to the younger handsome gentleman, instead.
He smiled courteously to the Ladies and nodded back to the Gentlemen.
Nathan couldn't help but embarrassingly overhear some of the Ladies' flattering comments as he passed.
He was just thankful his back was now turned to them so they couldn't see the blush on his cheeks!
Compliments, especially about his looks, were always rather difficult for him to process, much less accept!
He just never thought in those terms, although perhaps that would have to change, at least as far as Millicent was concerned!
He had always known everyone stopped and stared at her, thinking she was stunning, and he certainly was aware of her classic beauty, but he just had never really looked at her in that way before.
She was just Millicent. His best friend and confidant.
The most giving person he knew.
He scooted onto the sofa, moving to its center as he completed his thought.
How could he not have thought of her in that way before, when now the very thought of her, even her looks alone, set him on fire?
Had he been blind, insane, or both?
He grinned his crooked grin, just thinking of her, as he picked up his menu.
The Steward was immediately there to take his order.
"Good Evening, Sir. May I help you with the menu?"
"Everything looks delicious. What would you recommend, Dempsey?"
"The Cornish Hen with Dumplings is spectacular, Sir! Also, the Filet is exceptional, cooked as you prefer to perfection, with a Mushroom Sauce, and served with a Grated Potato & Cheese Soufflé. Both come with a Salad of your choice."
"That settles it. I'll have the filet medium rare, and I think the Radicchio and Pear Salad with Blue Cheese and Walnuts - sounds interesting."
"Excellent choice, Sir. Our very best Salad! You won't regret it. I'll have your aperitif out shortly!"
"Thank you, Dempsey!"
Nathan watched as the Steward left, and noticed the couples had started eating their desserts.
He smiled.
'Even at their age, they are romantically sharing their desserts, and actually smiling, maybe even flirting, as they speak to each other! That will be us, Mil, years from now. I'm sure of it,' he promised in thought.
Then his smile turned into a low chuckle!
'How could we ever run out of things to talk about, dear Millicent, with you leading the conversation? It's probably going to be impossible to cram every discussion we'll want to have to even fit into our lifetime together!'
Yes, these two were in for a world of excitement, because they made even the smallest thing they did exciting, as long as they were together, even if it was just a conversation!
And no, neither would ever run out of things to say to each other!
In comparison, Millicent was more of the talker, the expressive one, the vivacious one, while Nathan was the quieter of the two, normally content to always sit back and listen unless he had something important to convey!
Everyone knew Nathan was a man of few words.
But, few knew he was actually a man of many words, who could speak three languages fluently: English, French, and Gaelic, as well as several Indian dialects.
Surprisingly, though, when with Millicent, Nathan found himself talking almost as much as her, at least, when they were alone together.
What was it about her that caused that change in him?
She was the only person he had ever met who had been able to accomplish that!
With her, words seemingly flowed from his mouth.
She made him feel comfortable in a way no one else ever had, and she did it effortlessly, allowing him to respond in kind!
Although, in addition to their flowing conversations, they both often shared quiet moments together, too, sometimes just sitting comfortably with each other, saying nothing at all, as though no words were needed between them, even as friends!
He couldn't remember a single other person, he had ever shared that dichotomy with.
"Here is your Champagne aperitif, Sir. Enjoy!"
"Thank you, Dempsey!"
Over the years, Millicent had faithfully written him the most delightful letters. They had been so important to him, that he had saved every single one of them, keeping them safely in a wooden chest he had carved for that very purpose.
As busy as she was with both her hectic work schedule and social calendar, he never could figure out how in the world she had managed it! The latter of which was mostly done to promote her vast charity work. Which Nathan knew to be the equivalent of several businesses!
Even during Law School, her letters still had still arrived regularly.
She was a prolific writer, and her letters were descriptive, lengthy, and very entertaining. Reading one of them was like viewing a hit play at the theater. You never knew what exciting, strange turn was coming next!
He had always read them alone, as a special private treat, after the cares of the day were done, and he had gotten his Little Girl to bed and finally asleep.
At times, Nathan would laugh so hard, he had to be careful not to wake Allie up.
Other times, Millicent's letters just made him miss her all the more.
He realized now, they had been the one luxury he had allowed himself, during those often trying younger years with Allie, when she had cried and cried for her mother, not really understanding Colleen couldn't be there.
Many nights he just held and rocked her all night long, till both finally gave way to moments of sleep, through their tears.
Thankfully, Millicent's letters had given him both solace and support, as well as adult conversation, something to look forward to that was theirs alone. They also gave him confidence that he could actually accomplish the necessary tasks at hand to raise Allie. He was never once disappointed in reading them, but instead always felt happier, lighter after having done so, and ready to tackle another day, with a new set of problems!
Though, given his twenty-four-hour, seven days per week work schedule, including call, and Allie too, he seldom had time to write a real letter back, usually ending up managing only a single page, or worse yet, a scrawled note. He at least always saw that they were posted in a timely manner!
But Millicent never once complained or even mentioned his lack of words.
She knew he was being pulled in all directions.
She just understood.
To stay in touch and make up for his lack of lengthy letters, Nathan did call Millicent every chance he got, on a fairly regular basis.
She on the other hand, only called him rarely, in comparison.
Nathan always knew when he received a call from Millicent, there was some major crisis or problem occurring that she needed his opinion on, whether it was a work issue, charity issue, or family issue!
Other times, it was personal, and she needed his advice, or she just felt so alone, that she simply needed to talk and hear his voice; sometimes she was just missing Colleen so badly, she could hardly stand it.
He thought back to when he first got Allie, and the many, many times he had called Millicent, sometimes several times a day when he had access to a phone.
His mother had been so busy with running the Ranch, grieving Colleen, and missing his Father being away, while at the same time bearing the embarrassment and shame of his crimes, that he hated to add to her burdens. She needed to at least believe her son and granddaughter were doing fine!
Somehow, Millicent had been the only one he felt comfortable with, in confiding the many hurdles and problems he was encountering as a young bachelor raising a Little Girl.
Naturally, as any pair of parents know, there are many difficulties to overcome in child-rearing. And Nathan was accomplishing this monumental task all alone!
"Well, sadly, I'm not a mother, but I was once a Little Girl, too, so surely that should count for something!" she would say. "Just know, though, I'm no expert! So, take everything I say with a huge grain of salt! I sure don't want to scar our sweet Allie for life!"
But then somehow, miraculously, she always found the right thing to say to resolve the crisis of that particular day, happily giving him a woman's perspective, and also trying her best to give him what would have been Colleen's perspective.
An outsider might have thought they were an old married couple solving their child-rearing problems together.
Yet neither had seen it that way, back then, at all.
They had only seen their communication as helping a dearest friend along the difficult path that had been given them.
But Nathan certainly could see it now, looking back.
They had made a great team, solving many a problem for both of them and for Allie, and yes, it had been just like an old, experienced married couple would have done!
He raised his eyebrows and smiled when that thought came to him, for how had they not seen that was exactly what it had been!
They had never once hung up the phone without both feeling better, whatever the crisis had been, and without having formulated a full plan of attack ready for aversion, or at least improvement of the situation at hand!
They were simply a team.
In fact, whether they realized it or not, they had always truly been a team.
A very good one!
Yes, their new relationship would be very different in some ways, but in other ways, not that different at all!
They were actually way ahead of most couples' starting point.
Quite frankly, Nathan knew he could never have raised Allie, especially as a 4 to 6-year-old, without Millicent's help and support.
She had been unfailing, always willing to do whatever was needed for them both. Sending care packages of items she thought might make things easier for them. Doing most of the shopping for Allie's clothes, as well as other things she needed, up until recently, when Allie wanted to have input herself!
In Millicent's mind, she was doing it for Colleen, as well, and somehow, it had helped relieve her overwhelming grief for her best friend, knowing she was helping the two people Colleen had loved most.
But what Millicent didn't see, was that Nathan and Allie, together, were becoming the two people she loved the most, too.
"How was your Champagne, Sir?"
"Very nice, thank you, Dempsey!"
"This is our best Red Wine to pair with your Filet. Does it suit your taste, Sir?"
Nathan swirled the glass and checked the wine's scent or bouquet, then slowly took a sip, which pleasantly and promisingly, rested on his tongue.
"Very smooth, thank you!"
His filet was cooked perfectly and the Soufflé was one of the best he had ever tasted!
But, while he cut into the second bite of his filet, he experienced a moment of sheer panic.
'What if it was awkward when he and Millicent first met, now having revealed their true feelings for each other?'
This part would be so different for both of them!
Their kisses had only been those of friends, not lovers.
But then he began to calm himself.
'Millicent and I have always been comfortable with each other. That can't possibly change now. We'll just muddle through till we get it right!'
And with that knowledge, he relaxed, knowing she would feel exactly the same way.
Having eaten his salad, he now understood why Dempsey had said it was their best! It was delicious, as both the sweetness and tartness of the pear complimented all the other flavors perfectly. This was a salad he'd have to remember and try to recreate at home, as it was that good.
His entire meal really had been most enjoyable, but his mind was spinning with so many different thoughts, all of him with Millicent.
He motioned for Dempsey to clear his plate.
"Shall I bring an assortment of Mini-Desserts, Sir? Or would you prefer something from the menu?"
"The assortment sounds perfect!"
As Dempsey cleared his plates and silverware, then scraped his white tablecloth clean with a table scraper, as was customary for the time, Nathan removed the sheaf of papers and his pen from inside his Jacket, then took out a plain page and began writing.
Darling Millicent,
I'm dining alone with only thoughts of you, wishing you were here with me to share this delectable meal in a most elegant setting.
But I'm sure there will be many romantic dinners this coming week, as well as in our lifetime to come.
I've watched as four elderly couples have chatted and even flirted, sharing their desserts - such a wonderfully intimate thing to do.
I can actually see that that is us, many years ahead, as excited to be together as we will be tomorrow evening.
Perhaps even more so, after spending a lifetime of love and passion with each other.
I don't know how the particular logistics of our lives together are going to work. I only know they will.
And I am completely assured the path we are about to take was exquisitely laid out for us by a Higher Power, perhaps, even before we were born.
I am so very grateful for, and honored by your love, as with it, I am a man truly blessed beyond measure.
I'm counting the minutes till we are together, my Darling.
For I do love you with all my being, my heart, and my soul.
Forever.
Yours,
Nathan
Nathan folded the page carefully, deciding to place it in an envelope when he returned to his Cabin.
Dempsey brought Nathan's elegant tray of Mini-Desserts, but as he took his first bite, a question came to him.
Had he thought he wasn't socially good enough, not well off financially enough for Millicent, all this time? It was true that she deserved the world! Had he just removed himself from the possibility of consciously falling in love with her, thinking he couldn't possibly be enough, that she simply deserved better?
But she had dated wealthy suitors, one after the other over the years, some even famous, and yet, she had only ever opened up to him.
Somehow, now, he knew with total clarity, that all this time, she had only loved him!
She had truly only ever loved him.
The very thought warmed his soul!
No, he wasn't famous or wealthy, but he would give her everything she ever needed and more, caring for her like no other, being her rock, and giving her more love than anyone else ever could.
Of that he was certain.
He just had to let it all sink in.
Although he hadn't yet proposed, he was choosing Millicent to be his Wife, and Millicent was choosing him to be her Husband.
Millicent was also choosing him and Allie to be her Family, an overwhelming thought that filled him with wonder!
The three of them together were going to be a real Family.
The Grant Family...
Back in his Cabin, after undressing and starting his hot bath, Nathan realized this was the very first time in his life that he could luxuriate with delirious excitement and expectation on what was to come.
And it was a most miraculous feeling!
A feeling, he had begun to think in his young life, he'd never feel.
He sealed his letter to his Love inside a long envelope, then wrote 'Darling' meandering across it, in what Millicent teasingly called his 'artistic script,' the thought of which brought a crooked smile to his lips.
He kissed the word, then gently placed it into his leather-bound Journal.
With all the many letters they had written to each other over the years, this was their first love letter, the first of many, and it was to be hand-delivered with exquisite care.
His dreams, along with a peace he had never known, came swiftly, as the train's chugging motion gently lulled him to sleep, with his tall frame stretched out in his huge bed.
His colorful, vivid dreams were the most pleasant of moving visions, very romantic ones, of beautiful green meadows unknown to him, dusted with vibrant wildflowers, bathed in the sun's golden rays, with both of them on horseback, him on Newton, her on Serena, racing through the wind together, Millicent laughing by his side, her long blonde hair flowing out behind her!
With pure happiness and joy etched on her most gorgeous face…