Disclaiming, don't own, didn't make, storyline is mine.

Thanks to Jake294 and astarte lea for letting me know you wanted me to continue.

CYCLONES IN THE DUST

Late Night Training

Zell stood leaning on the rail, blue eyes fixed and far seeing on the horizon line where the blushes of dusk were fading into a dark shadow. He sighed shifting and folding his arms on the rail in front of him. He felt guilty, he'd come to the training centre in order to distract himself from thoughts of Ma, it hadn't worked. He knew the monsters too well, fire on the Grats, Blind on the T-rexataur followed by an ice attack like Blizzara. It was monotonous, it left to much room to think.

Eventually he'd trudged into the secret area running his hand along the fallen stone pillar absently as he did. He tried to think of everything else, anything else, but it seemed almost as if Ma were the foundation of all his thoughts, everything lead back to her. He couldn't look in the mirror without remembering some comment about his hair, eyes or clothes, either approval or disapproval. He couldn't go to Balamb without seeing her in his mind, crossing the street, buying things or talking to a neighbour.

To begin with he'd done those things deliberately, gone places she spent her time, slept on her bed, just sat in the kitchen looking at the washing she'd left before the accident, not being able to bring himself to put it away. He'd done those things to stimulate memories and thoughts, to hear her voice in his head. Now it was driving him insane, he couldn't escape it, and the guilt…

The guilt had caused him to be physically ill several times, gnawing at his stomach causing it to tense and relax until he got cramps or threw up. He felt guilt for wanting not to remember her, wanting to be distracted from memories of her. He hated himself for it, and yet couldn't stifle the need to escape it. He sighed again, trying to focus on the sensation of the breeze and the cold metal pressing against the skin of his arms.

"Zell?"

He jumped and glanced over his shoulders at Selphie who stood near the entrance to the secret area. She smiled hesitantly, and absently shifted onto one leg then back again, he yellow dress was slightly green tinted in the darkness, but the shape of her hair, flicked out and framing her face, was unmistakable. Zell couldn't help but smile at her nervous antics, she always made him smile. She was annoyingly happy all the time, but it was endearing, like a younger sister, that's how he'd always seen Selphie.

"Hey Selphie, late to be training," he said turning and leaning his lower back against the railing, folding his arms. She beamed and came over to the rail, her hands resting on it and she gazed out. It reminded Zell of how she'd stand looking out of a train window.

"Well, I'll be leaving soon for the train in Balamb, Squall wants me and Irvy to check some rumours about a Sorceress Cult in Deling" she rolled her eyes and glanced at him.

"Another one? You'd think those weirdo's would get a life" said Zell mildly. It felt good to talk.

"Well, I'm thinking would could just blow them up, KABOOM" she giggled and turned facing Zell. "Then any others wouldn't go public at least".

"…Err… yeah…" Zell said, feeling his smile widen. "What does Irvine think?" he asked. Zell always found Selphie's love for explosions and destruction a little intimidating.

"Irvy? Well… he thinks we should listen to Squall and snipe the leader" she pulled a face which told Zell she thought that was boring. 'Typical Selphie, she'll take huge explosions over subtle sniping any day' thought Zell fondly.

"I haven't seen Irvine for a while" Zell frowned, he hadn't heard the clicking of his boot spurs, or seen his hat above the crowds for some time.

"Well… you know Irvy, he doesn't handle things well, and thinks that because you've been a bit down lately, because of… you know, you'd want to be alone" she'd grown steadily more quite while speaking, looking irritated with herself for bringing the subject up.

"Yeah… most of you guys have been like that. 'Cept Seifer, but I can't be coping with him right now" said Zell turning away. He'd felt a twinge of pain, but he could deal with that, in fact it felt like a relief to acknowledge her death with someone. Selphie nodded, her expression solemn, it looked so alien on her that Zell grinned.

"Nice Squall impression Selphie". She looked surprise, then stuck out her tongue.

"Bully" she sniffed, but the corners of her mouth had twitched so Zell knew she didn't mean it.

"What time's your train?" asked Zell, knowing she'd forget if he didn't remind her.

"Err… WHOA!" she exclaimed jumping from her casual stance to her at-the-ready stance. "I was only suppose to be here for five minuets!".

"Run Selphie Run!" urged Zell, grinning as the girl ran from the secret area hair bobbing with each stride.

Selphie was great, she could get damned annoying sometimes with her innate ability to be happy all the time. 'Wish I could do that' Zell thought mildly straightening up and walking from the secret area.

He'd come to the secret area over the bridges, so he went the other way wanting to go full circle. It was one of his quirks. After turning the corner he paused hearing an abrupt snapping sound. He'd know that sound anywhere, seemed Quistis was out late-night training too.

He moved around a log, spotting the blonde instructor. She was just finishing up a pair of Grats. She finished the one on the right with a fire, and dodged the other Grat's vicious, erect stalk-like arms, before lashing out with her whip. The monster flinched back hissing and rustling. She moved fluidly, backing up slightly before summoning. Zell scrambled back behind the log, not wanting to get toasted by the over enthusiastic GF, Ifrit. He'd never been able to get on with that one, he was more Seifer's or Selphie's style. Quistis could handle most of the GFs being the prodigy she was.

Engulfed in Ifrit's ball of flame the Grat didn't even have a chance and was incinerated before the flames even cleared. Zell got up and cleared his throat.

"Bit of an overkill don'cha think?" he said. Quistis didn't jump as he'd hoped. He loved trying to sneak up on her, because she got so angry when he succeeded.

"I ran out of fires, and I wasn't going to waste another spell" she said simply.

"You could have just hit the thing" he replied, then shrugged. She smiled.

"I'm training to increase my compatibility with Ifrit, I'm tired of Seifer implying Ifrit is a 'man's' GF" she scowled. Quistis was a bit of a feminist, and Seifer loved playing of it, although when Quistis wasn't around Zell had heard him admit that Selphie had as much control over the fire GF as he did.

"He's just teasing Quisty, you know Seifer, can't go a day without getting a dig at someone," he folded his arms in irritation at his thoughts of the arrogant gunblader. Zell still felt bad over beating him unconscious in the cafeteria, and that made him more angry at the taller blond. 'He was being a prick, he deserved it' Zell told himself, not really believing it.

"Is that what set you of a few days ago?" she asked bluntly, confronting Zell, whose mind suddenly went blank. He stared stupidly at the instructor before frowning.

"It's none of your business" he growled uncharacteristically not looking at her, finding the pebbles on the ground suddenly very interesting.

"…I'm sorry Zell, I'm just… I'm just worried about you okay, it's unusual for you to do something so savage. If you need to talk you'll come find me wont you?" she did look worried. Zell sighed.

"…I'd just rather not talk about it right now, okay?" he said almost pleadingly. Zell was certain he'd break down if she dragged it into the open, he wasn't ready. She winced at his tone and looked down at the dirt when he looked up, not meeting his gaze.

"Whatever you want Zell" she sighed, then looked up with a sad smile. "Maybe you should get some rest, you look tired and I'm fairly certain Squall's doing a fire drill tomorrow".

"A what?" asked Zell startled, he couldn't recall any instances of a fire drill in Garden, plenty of fires, but no drills.

"It's a new thing. A combined effort from Matron and Laguna. They're promoting 'safety in the Garden'" she pulled a face. Zell chuckled.

"Yeah, those two just don't give up do they? are they getting cadets to hand out leaflets again?" asked Zell, amused.

"They certainly aren't, and don't think I didn't know it was you who arranged the paper aeroplane competitions last time, Zell" she said disapprovingly, unfortunately the slight smile ruined it.

"Night Quistis" said Zell, taking and hasty retreat.

"Good Night Zell!" she called after him.

He left the training centre and started down the corridors and walkways back to the dorms. Every step seemed heavier and the every step the shadows seemed to close in a little more. Thoughts of Ma were closing in, and he could already feel his stomach tensing with guilt. His mouth started salivating and he knew he'd be sick before he reached his room.