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Chapter 11

John stood silent for a few minutes. He saw Bruce walk over to him and he followed Bruce as Bruce got into his car. JOhn sat in the passenger seat as Bruce started the car and slowly drove away from Travis' Johnson's house.

John was deep in thought, as he watched the passing houses, the passing homes as they drove. It took him back; back to when they first found their house, the place they would call home.

Flash Back

"Okay... so tell me again why you don't want me to look? Why I have to cover my eye's?" JOhn asked Natalie as she drove.

"Cause... You haven't like any of the others that I liked and... And well I really like this one, a lot. I just want you to not look around and see where I'm taking you"

"Why? And you do know you said you liked all of the houses we looked at, all ten of them" he told her being a wise ass again. She smiled although he couldn't see her; she pulled the car up in front of the house.

"I just want you to look at the house and see..."

"See what exactly"

"See maybe in your head, that it can be a home, feel it inside as I describe it to you. Envision it. And then if you're lucky... I'll... I'll let you take the scarf off and see it with your eyes."

"Wait a minute... you mean you're not taking this thing off when we get there."

"That's right, I want you to feel it, I want your heart to feel it before your eye's see it" Natalie said as she turned off the car, she went over to his door and helped him a bit out of the car. She walked them over to the front door.

"You do know... this sounds a bit strange, don't you? I mean feel the house with my heart."

"Well... its kinda like feel the home, what a home this house could be for us and our baby... our family" she told him as she held the key in one hand, she took his hand with her other and placed it on her six month pregnant belly. She saw him smile and she led him into the house.

"Okay, you walk in and there's a foyer, not a big one but a nice size one, a staircase to the right. Wood floors. Two steps down," she said as she led them. "Is the living room, its big, more like a great room."

"Is there room for a pool table?" he asked and she laughed

"Maybe... we'll see but... the room is big enough for two or more kids to play in, for us to maybe watch television or movies together as a family. Just envision it okay... ready... a large sectional in the middle of the room, an area rug just near our feet as we sit on the couch drinking coffee, just watching. Watching as a boy and girl play on the rug by our feet. I'll curl up my legs and sit on them, you can stretch your long legs across the seat cushions, and we can just watch and listen. Observe the sweet sounds of children playing, our children playing" she told him and then took a break to give him a chance to maybe hear it to.

"Hear it JOhn, in your mind, they're laughing and joking"

'Fighting you mean... he pulled her hair" John said with a grin on his face. He could hear it; see it in his head, in his heart.

After a few minutes Natalie took his hand again" come on let me show you the bedroom, let me tell you what you can hear and envision in that room" she said with a seductive smile on her face.

"Oh I don't need any help envisioning what's gonna happen in that room or hearing the noises. The hums" he said and she smiled brighter for a minute, she reached over to him and took his lips,

"Smart ass" she said and he laughed.

End Fb

"Chief... Chief..." Bruce said bringing JOhn out of his state.

"Yeah, Sorry detective" John told him as he realized they were almost at the station.

"I was just thinking of something... the files on Travis. The original files on him from eight years ago; there was something in them about his dad's business... some sort of print shop. I think it's worth looking into" Bruce told John

"Have a great day at work Sweetheart" Natalie told Travis with a phony sweet smile. She even kissed his cheek gently.

" I will" Travis Told her as he left the loft. Natalie walked quickly but quietly to the door after him hoping he might forget and not lock the door from the outside. "No such luck" she said to herself quietly as she heard him turn the three deadbolts on the door with keys.

Natalie started to tear up, the tears started to come. She leaned up against the wall and started lowering her body down as she couldn't stop crying. She pulled her hands up to her face and held it in them.

"Damn it JOhn... I don't know how much more I can do this... He'll be back later and he'll expect me to be his wife in all the ways that count," She said out loud as she brought her hands off her face.

"What the hell am I going to do...? How the hell am I going to get around this?" She said as she started to cry more.

"John Damn it! What am I going t o do!" She said getting madder this time then upset. She stood up quickly, shook her head, wiped the tears.

"I'm a Fucking Mcbain... we fight to stay together, nothing... No-one pulls us apart"

Almost four hours later John along with Bruce and Half the LPD squad were going thru old files on Travis Johnson. Nothing was standing out as new information and John was getting more and more discouraged.

"Chief" Bruce said and John walked quickly over to him on the other side of the room

"Whats up? Please tell me you found something," JOhn told him looking and sounding desperate.

"Just the address to Johnson's dads business and the fact that Travis himself ran the business before he was sent away." Bruce told JOhn. The Two men said no words and left the station quickly.

An hour later they were outside city limits in a rural part of Llanview. JOhn and Bruce approached the building with guns drawn. They noticed the building seem to be abandoned but they weren't taking any chances. They proceeded to kick in the door of the old print shop. Once inside they looked around.

"Nothing Damn it!" John said as he kicked some boxes that were thrown on the floor.

"Another Fucking Dead end! " JOhn screamed out as he now threw the boxes across the room.

"John... Chief... John..." Bruce said letting him get his frustrations out but not wanting him to hurt himself. John ignored Bruce as he tried to get his attention.

"Damn it Natalie! Where the hell can you be?" JOhn said as Bruce saw he needed a few moments alone and he left the room.

" The kids need you Natalie... I need you babe," he said, as he stood frozen in his stop for a few minutes. He held his face with his hands; he shook it a bit, as he repeated his words.

"I need you babe... I need you" JOhn said over and over a few times as his phone went off in his pocket. He slowly pulled it out. He looked at the caller Id... It was the house, the kids most likely. He shook his head again.

"What the hell am I going to tell them tonight?" he asked himself as he answered it.

"Hey"

"Johnny... How's the search? Have you found her or any leads?" Eve asked John over the phone.

"No" John said short and cold.

"How are the kids?" JOhn asked after a few minutes of silence

"That's what I'm calling about...there a bit of a mess... Connor's a wreck worrying that you won't be bringing Nat home tonight, and the girls... well... there worse, they want to know why Natalie never called. That she always calls when she is away on Business or work... Johnny... I know you need to find her but maybe... maybe if you came home with them for a little while... that would probably ease them." Eve told him. John remained silent for a few minutes

" I can't... I can't mom... I need to find Natalie" JOhn said feeling overwhelmed and torn for a bit.

"Johnny... they need you to make them secure for a bit and then you can get back to it... Natalie would want you to ease them and make them content." Eve said, as John was silent for a few minutes

"Johnny...Johnny... John Mcbain! You get your ass home and see your frightened children for a little while Or I can guarantee you when your wife gets back she'll be mad as hell at you" Eve told him sternly, trying so desperately to get thru to him.

"I'll home soon" JOhn said as he hung up the phone. His eyes began a bit teary.

"'How am I going to face them? Help them when I am so lost myself" JOhn said out loud as Bruce was walking back in.

"You just do. You put on that Mcbain family shield, you say that corny saying I'm always hearing her say at the station when she thinks no one is listening. That forever shit and you do what needs to be done... How does that freaking thing go again... no one get thru or gets hurt or..."

"No-one pulls us apart, we fight to stay together" JOhn said in a louder more strong tone than before.

"Yeah... that's it... man its a wonder you guys don't get a cavity every time you say that shit" Bruce told him and he smiled.