Chapter 49: A Difficult Conversation by a Raucous Riverside

"Come on, Millicent! You go on with Nathan and Allie. You've worked all morning without a single break. Go!" insisted Bill. "By now, the emergency order has already arrived at the Orphanage, and with our first draft done up tight, thanks to you, we're well on our way to finishing all three in plenty of time!"

"But you've got to eat too, Bill!"

"Millicent, Minnie is gonna bring me a plate full of good, hot food. I need to stay here because Ned is deliverin the flowers! And those Teddy Bears! You were right – those little monsters were way too big to carry! And believe you me, I tried!"

"Even for you?" chuckled Nathan, at the thought of Bill trying to balance three of those huge bears. "Bill, do you realize you've been overpowered by three stuffed animals?"

"Very funny! But hey, those things together are bigger than a horse! I made it down the steps and gave up!"

"Now that would have been a photo op, for sure! Would have paid to see that!"

"Are you sure about me leaving, Bill?"

"It's a direct order from your supervising Judge!"

"Well, when you put it that way, Your Honor, I'm on my way!" laughed Millicent.

"Your Honor! I like the sound of that. No one around these parts ever calls me that! Suppose it takes a King's Counsel, to even know the proper lingo! And that would be your Fiancee, Nathan! Millicent, we've gotta get your chambers set up, and add some status around here!"

"Well, it's about time," grinned Nathan, to which Bill heartily agreed, and then turned to go on with his work.

"Come on, Millicent, let's run while you can! Allie, lunchtime!" urged Nathan.

"Are we going to the Café?" asked Allie, excitedly.

"No, we are not! We're going on a family picnic!"

"But Dad, it's winter!"

"Exactly! That's why we're going on a winter family picnic!"

"I think that sounds wonderful!" grinned Millicent. "I don't think I've ever been on a winter picnic before! At least it will be an adventure! Let's get bundled up, Allie!"

Nathan pulled the car up as far as the road took him, then on to a beautiful spot overlooking their new land.

"Nathan, this is such a lovely spot! Now if we could only fish!"

"Allie, I think your Momma would ice fish if she could," he teased. "Only you would think of fishing in the dead of winter, Love!"

Then he smiled at Millicent, remembering all the many, many times they had been fishing together, first learning together as children, then growing up, then later as adults, and now more recently, here in this very spot, with Allie, the first time Millicent visited Hope Valley.

"Oh, please, Momma, let's do! I'd love to learn to ice fish!"

"Yes, let's. We'll just put ice fishing on our to-do list!"

"Do you two have any idea how much work ice fishing is going to be for me?"

"Yes, but it will be so worth it! We promise, don't we Allie?"

"It will be the best! But, Dad is this really ours? I mean do we really own our fishing spot?"

"Your Uncle Bill says yes, Allie! Our favorite fishing hole is apparently on the property he has given us. He wasn't even sure till he checked the plat!"

"What about fly fishing, Darling? Will we be able to do that?" asked Millicent.

"I believe so! Bill says there's a perfect spot down by the river, although he hasn't shown me yet. But it sure will be fun to explore and find out together!"

The couple locked sparkling eyes and radiant smiles, dreaming of all the wonderful adventures they'd have just being together.

Both realizing the smallest experience was going to be magnified magnificently with them as a couple, and a family!

"Are you two going to stare at each other forever, again?" asked Allie, as she leaned forward from the back seat of their car, sticking her head in between Nathan and Millicent, who were sitting in the front.

"Looks like it, Allie…" answered Nathan, not taking his eyes off of Millicent.

"Dad, why don't you just go on and kiss Momma already, so we can eat lunch?"

"Allie," then Nathan turned to explain to his daughter, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw Millicent who was covering her face, doing her best to hold back a giggle.

And instead of finishing his explanation to his daughter, he decided to take her advice, and just kiss the giggling woman he loved, already, placing the hand on her face at his neck instead!

Millicent was totally taken by surprise, which caused more giggles, but she still happily obliged.

"Eww! Is there gonna be a lot of this?" asked Allie, who was secretly hoping there would be.

"I think you can count on that, Allie," chuckled her father as he kept looking at Millicent, still unable to take his eyes off her.

"Every single day," he muttered as he and Millicent were speaking in a silent language of their own, where words didn't even exist.

"Well, you should at least give me a warning, Dad!"

"Consider yourself warned, Young Lady!" and he drew Millicent's hands up to his lips and kissed both of them so tenderly.

"Dad…"

"Yes, Allie?"

"May we eat now?"

"Yes, Allie, we may eat now! You two wait here," and Nathan jumped out of the car to get the picnic hamper Minnie had helped him pack.

When he returned, Nathan first passed out mini 'tablecloths for one' for Allie and Millicent to use.

"Are you implying we're going to muss your brand-new car?" asked Millicent, giving him a hard time.

"Well, better safe than sorry," he winked, as he was not about to take any chances with this new addition to the family.

Then he passed out thermoses full of hot mulled cider for everyone to drink.

"Oh, just holding this, feels so good, Nathan!"

"It will warm us up for sure! A toast to our family! May the Grant Family be everything a family should be, loving and always there for each other."

"Hear, hear!" smiled Millicent.

"Always, Dad!"

"We also have thermoses full of steaming hot Tomato Bisque and some Grilled Cheese Sandwiches with homemade Potato Chips, and if we're lucky, everything's still hot!"

"Yum, sounds good!"

"I love the little boxes," declared Allie. "And Grilled Cheese is my favorite!"

Each little box was lined with a large red-checked napkin, with another one rolled up and knotted across the top that was meant to use with the Soup, Sandwich, and homemade Chips!

"Ah, this tastes so good, Nate! It hits the spot perfectly!"

"Momma, why do you call Dad, Nate? Nobody calls him that."

"Well, your Uncle Richard and I do!" she smiled back at Allie. "In fact, I think your Mom, along with us, were the only ones allowed to use that version of your Dad's name. Am I correct, Darling?"

"You are indeed correct. You're actually the one who made it up if I remember correctly," he teased.

"Guilty as charged!" laughed Millicent.

"I think, secretly, that was the only reason I liked it!"

"Oh! Does that mean I get to call you anything I want?"

"Pretty much," and he stretched to give her a quick kiss.

"But why didn't anyone else call you that, Dad?"

"It just felt like a name that belonged to the four of us, Allie! The four of us were all very tight! Your Mom actually called me Alex most of the time. Sometimes Alexander. She always teased me by coming up with a new version of my name. She used Nate too, but almost never called me Nathan. Don't ask me why. But when she did, I knew I was in trouble!"

"What did you call her, Dad?"

"I called her Collie. She insisted she wasn't a dog, but secretly, I think she loved it."

"And make no mistake, your Dad was the only one your Mom allowed to call her that!" explained Millicent. "Richard and I weren't even allowed! She would fume if we slipped and called her the same!"

"Dad, since Momma's here, you've talked more about Mom than you ever have. I didn't even know you were twins. I love that, though!"

"I'm sorry, Allie. I just couldn't talk about it all before. It just hurt too much, but your Momma's helping me with that," and Nathan reached to touch Millicent's cheek. "You know, Allie, your Mom's going to always be a part of us, a part of our family."

"I like that, Dad. And I think she's really happy for us, now that we've found Momma!"

"I know she is, Sweetheart!" and Nathan reached to kiss Allie's forehead, as she leaned toward him.

Millicent followed with her own kiss for Allie!

The three of them continued to work at finishing their lunch, companionably chatting, with lots of laughter and stories, too, as families do.

But mostly lots of questions from Allie, which they both patiently answered.

Questions about her new relatives, questions about Montreal, questions about them all living together – yes, Allie had lots of interesting questions!

Some that Nathan and Millicent hadn't even thought about!

When their last bites were taken, Nathan gathered their refuse, and placed it back in a bag, he took from the hamper, making sure their car was spotless.

"Are you two ready for your dessert?" he asked.

"Yes, please!" begged Allie and Millicent in unison.

Nathan took two boxes out of the hamper with a flourish, handing the first one to Millicent.

"Oh, Nate! My Pecan Sandies!"

"Otherwise known as Wedding Cookies, Love!"

"I love them whatever they're called," and she reached to kiss him. "But especially as Wedding Cookies! Our Wedding Cookies!"

"Allie, you're next!" and he smiled as he handed his daughter the box.

"My favorite Marshmallow Brownies! Thanks, Dad!" shrieked Allie as she gathered all six of the brownies into her hands.

"Looks like everyone's happy, and I'm happy because I get to eat both!"

But as Allie handed her Dad the empty box, Nathan's face fell.

"Hey, Allie, there's none left for me!"

"I need them to share with Security, Dad! Here I'll give you my extra one! May I take these to them? I want to take my Uncles back to our fishing hole. Is that alright?"

"Yes, Allie, great job! You've actually used the proper word twice today! So, yes, you may!" agreed her Dad, throwing his hands up in disbelief that his daughter had finally gotten it right. "But here, you might as well take the whole box!"

She reached for it with fudgy, marshmallowy fingers.

"Allie, here, first wipe off your fingers with this," and Nathan handed her a damp cloth.

"Thanks, Dad!"

"Oh, Allie don't forget your gloves!"

"Thanks, Momma!"

Then like lightning, Allie was off carrying her box of gooey marshmallow brownies in her now-gloved hands, running to the Security Team in Lee's borrowed car.

"The Bride might be persuaded to share her Wedding Cookies with her handsome Groom," offered Millicent, coyly, holding a cookie out to Nathan's lips for him to bite into.

He took the single bite but held her cookie-filled hand in mid-air.

"That's a problem, because, your Groom only wants you, Millicent Bradford."

"Ah, but the cookie is so very good…" taunted Millicent, as she released her hand and bit into it once more, leaving the rest for Nathan. "After all, it is a Wedding Cookie!"

He chuckled, and after finishing the cookie, reached to kiss her.

"Yum. I think I might just take that other cookie now!"

She laughed, "And there go my charms! A cookie chosen over me!"

And he melted hearing her genuine laughter.

"You, my Kalie, I do believe, are the most beautiful woman on this earth, and I am without a doubt the most blessed man in the whole world. But, Mil, it's your beauty inside that's always captivated me. What you're doing for Lee and Rosemary today, matches your outward beauty in such a way, I've always seen that first. And I honestly think I will always see your goodness, your intelligence, your kindness, your wisdom first."

"That, Nathan Grant, is one of the many, many reasons I adore you," and she ran her ungloved hand along his jawline. "You're the only one who sees inside me. The only one who's ever seen inside me. And the way you see me makes me better!"

On impulse, she grabbed his coat lapels and pulled him to her.

"But this, my Darling Fiance, is what I want you to remember every single day at lunchtime."

And she kissed him forcefully and passionately, leaving no doubt of her desire and love for him.

"Well, the car's warm now!" he teased.

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, as best he could from his position behind the wheel.

"This wasn't the original romantic lunch I had planned for today, but, Mil, it was the best I could do, given the circumstances."

"It's more than enough, my Love. A romantic winter picnic. A family picnic. It's perfect!"

And yes, with the two of them together, in their car, on their land, eating lunch with their daughter, it was somehow romantic.

Very romantic, in fact.

"I want to get you back in town early enough to stop and see Serena and Cookie, Love!"

"That's great. Cookie's growing every single day!"

He knew they were doing the right thing today, by helping resolve the adoptions for Rosemary and Lee, but that didn't keep him from wanting, from needing, to spend these last precious hours with Millicent, alone.

He would do his very best to make up for it all tonight when he cooked dinner for her.

He reached down into the Picnic Hamper one more time, pulling out a single long-stemmed red rose.

She gasped as she saw it.

"You saved the best for last!"

"Just like this classy, elegant red rose, you are my classy, elegant love. You are my passion, Mil. And just as this rose says I love you, I am saying I love you, now, and forever."

Her eyes were glistening, and she tried hard not to say what was weighing on her mind.

But he knew.

And he answered her unspoken thought.

Because it was his thought.

"We will get through this separation, my Darling, and I won't forget your kiss for an instant. I promise you that. I know you can't come back, but oh how I wish I could dance with you and introduce you to everyone at the Mountie Ball in Union City!"

"I would love nothing more than to go with you, Love! That's a Ball I would give anything to attend, all because it's to honor you and all your brothers serving along with you. That makes it more special than all the hundreds of balls I've attended, put together. You'll just have to tell me every single detail. Promise me you will."

"I promise. But I'd rather not go at all, without you."

"Oh, you must go, Nate! It's so important, especially with your new position. Besides, from what you've said, I bet the Commissioner's wife is counting on you to be her dance partner!"

"Yes, I'm sure she is, and she's an excellent dancer. The Commissioner, not so much. But that most certainly is not at all like dancing with you, Love!"

"There will be many, many dances, my Love, in our future. I promise you that! Why I think you just got penciled in permanently on my lifetime dance card! On second thought, you may get sick of me!"

"Never! Aren't I the luckiest guy? You're the only partner I want, Millicent Bradford, soon to be Grant."

"Oh, I love the sound of that. Here I was just getting used to Constable and Mrs. Nathan Grant, and now I have to change to Chief Inspector and Mrs. Nathan Grant!"

"I'm not even used to it," admitted the ever-humble Constable, now Chief Inspector. "Somehow, it doesn't even seem real, yet, to me. So, I'm not sure if I can handle it or not. Do you think you can? Do you think we can?"

"Yes, my Darling. I know you can handle it and we can handle it. You have to admit the title does have a nice ring to it! I'm just so very proud of you Nathan! But truthfully, it matters not what the title is. It only matters that you are doing what you love! But as I said I'd love you no matter what you did for a living, no matter the title. Although, I must say being a Mountie is you. I can't imagine you as anything else, and even as Chief Inspector, you're still a Mountie. You live to serve, to make things better for everyone around you, no matter the title, and I happen to love that about you."

He nodded beginning to grasp that she was right.

He was a Mountie and the new title really didn't change that.

He kissed her cheek.

"Thank you for that insight. It was exactly what I needed."

"You are going to do a great job, Nathan. I know it. But there's something else. What is it, Darling?"

"Millicent, the story of the children's parents. I can't get it out of my mind."

"It is so very horrible to think of their parents being murdered."

"And for money, Love. All for money."

"I'm just thankful our family hasn't had to go through anything like that."

Her words hit him like a knife, slicing through him.

As hard as it was, he knew at that moment, he had to tell her.

"What if they had Mil?" he asked gently, looking directly into her shimmering green eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I hadn't planned to tell you this now, but I can't keep this from you. I won't keep anything from you," and Nathan ran his long fingers through his hair. "Our marriage can't start that way. I have to trust you enough that you will be able to handle the difficult things."

His look was strained, and his brow was furrowed.

"What is it, Darling? I trust you, and if you think I can handle it, then I can handle it. I'm strong, Nathan."

"Remember when we were riding the Ferris Wheel, and I asked you what if I had to keep something from you to protect you? You seemed to understand, and that made me feel this was okay. But the more I think about this whole scenario, I know it's not right to ever keep anything from you, no matter the circumstance. Even in trying to protect your feelings."

"I believe we are two strong adults, Nathan, and for us to be as strong together as possible, there has to be openness and trust. We have to be frank with each other in all things. Maybe sometimes what we think of protecting each other, is actually more protecting ourselves from hurting the other. Don't ever be afraid to share everything with me. I'm not a fragile princess! I'm tough. I've had to be."

"I know you are," and he truthfully did. "Whatever comes, you and I are in this together. I agree. I wouldn't want you to keep something from me, even if it were done to protect me. We are equal partners. And always will be. So, together, here we go…"

Nathan paused to collect himself, looking straight ahead through their car's windshield.

He cleared his throat.

"Your Father shared some history as to why there is such a need for security in your life, in our lives. He and your Mother wanted me to wait till after our Wedding to tell you this, so you could be as happy as possible and savor every single moment of happiness that is ours. And I want that too, more than anything. But, if I don't tell you this now, it becomes a secret between us, and our happiness won't be forthright. It won't be fully true due to an omission. I can't live with that. I realize now, you have to know, and I do know you are strong enough to take this information. I'm counting on that with everything I am, Mil."

She nodded, "Whatever it is, Nathan, I promise I can take it, as long as we take it together."

"Yes, we will always be together on whatever it is we have to face. The bottom line is, you deserve to know every single thing I know. I can't give you my whole being at the altar without sharing everything I know with you, even when it's not my story to tell."

"Exactly the same for me. That's how a true partnership works, Darling! That's how I want our marriage to work."

He nodded in agreement.

"Just promise me you will not allow this to intrude on our happiness now and as we wed. Please understand your parents have kept this from you and the family to spare you any pain. Please don't be angry with them because of it. It's the last thing they need. And please let this be between us, and allow them to tell their story more fully to the family when they are ready."

"You're scaring me, Nathan."

"I don't mean to at all, Darling!" and Nathan sighed heavily, then had a thought.

"Come walk to the river's edge with me."

He instantly knew he needed to be able to hold her, and somehow, he knew she would need the openness around her, around them to even breathe, and perhaps she would even need the continuous flowing motion of the river.

For just as the river flowed on, the Bradford's lives had flowed on, in spite of the horrendous anguish and pain they had experienced.

Deep inside, Nathan knew this moment of whatever this was and all the emotion it would entail, would pass, and he was hoping both would be stronger for the sharing.

He had to take her back in time, but he also had to very quickly bring her back to the present, their present.

The couple walked arm-in-arm in the opposite direction of Allie and the Security Team, down to the riverbank, all alone, wrapped in their coats and scarves, their hands now covered in their leather gloves.

Nathan noticed a large flat rock, and led Millicent there, where they sat, looking over the rushing river.

It seemed to be full of torment, mirroring the torment that had been inside Nathan since Edward had shared his and Victoria's story.

"I love you more than anything in this world, Millicent Bradford, and I would never let anyone hurt you. As for me, I would do anything to keep from hurting you, to protect you, from anything and everything."

"I know that, Nathan. I truly know that."

She reached up and touched his face with her gloved hand, but his face was dark and full of anguish, almost contorted in pain.

"Please tell me what's troubling you, Darling. I'm strong, and you and I are a strong team. We always have been. We've always shared things, and starting now that includes the good, the bad, and even the difficult."

He took both her hands, nodding in agreement.

Then he looked directly into her eyes, steadfastly, without faltering.

But his voice gave him away.

It was his voice that cracked and faltered.

And she knew then, this was very serious.

"This…is the bad, and the difficult Your parents…your parents had a Son, Mil. Before Richard. He was their firstborn. Edward James Bradford, III. He was beautiful. He looked exactly like Richard and William, and your Parents adored him. But he was kidnapped at five months of age and was never found. The Inspector in charge of the case felt sure he had been murdered. But I'm not so sure I agree with his conclusion, as there was never any proof offered."

"I have a brother?"

"Yes, but I'm so sorry. I'm just not sure if he's alive or not."

"But Mother and Father, how did they live through that?" Millicent's eyes were filled with tears. "They lost their child? Their baby? Their firstborn? My brother?"

He gathered her in his arms, "Yes, my Love. And they were brave enough to continue their family after that monumental loss. And I will forever be grateful for that, because oh, Mil, my world wouldn't exist without you."

"Oh, Nathan…"

Her eyes were frantically searching his.

Needing to know every single thing he knew.

"They caught the kidnappers, and they are in prison, Mil. But they are going to be released this coming January. January 15th, 1919, to be exact. So, security has to be extra tight for everyone."

"That's why Father has insisted on Security all of our lives. I finally understand. I understand so many things now. I understand their caution, their protectiveness. Somehow, I better understand their love for us, and for each other. They survived the impossible, together. That's why they are so strong. And why they taught us to be strong. Look at what they overcame to have us. To start over with such horrible grief!"

"I know they are remarkably strong," and Nathan placed both his hands on her shoulders. "Mil, are you alright? I know this is a shock. A terrible shock. I didn't plan this. And this is the worst possible timing…"

"There is no good timing for this. I'm only glad you told me now. It lets me know more than ever, not only how much my parents love me, but also exactly how much you love me. That you trust me is everything. Your love and your trust are everything. You mean everything to me, Nathan Grant. Everything. I suppose part of me should be angry at Mother and Father for keeping this from us, but somehow, I'm not. At least not yet. I just know if they got through this, you and I can get through anything as long as we're together, and as long as we trust each other and remain open with each other, just like we're being right now!"

"There is now nothing withheld between us, and I can't tell you what a weight off of me that is! I've struggled with this, Millicent, from the moment I was told. As I said, it's not my story to tell. But, as my Fiancee and my future Wife, you have every right to know what I know. It is your Parents' secret, but I just couldn't keep it for them, not from you."

"I have no secrets from you, Nathan. None. And I'm thankful we no longer have any, between us. I'm sorry Father asked you to keep this secret. We'll respect his wishes and I won't say anything to Richard, William, or Pippa. But I want Mother and Father to know we've discussed this. And I want them to know they should have told us this, so we could have grieved together as a family. Is that alright?"

"Of course, it is. You do whatever you think is best, Mil!"

She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest.

"Nate, when did it happen? The kidnapping I mean."

"That part is horrible too, Milli."

"I need to know."

"His first Christmas Eve. Fifteen months after your parents' marriage."

She gasped and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Five months old. Their first Christmas Eve," as though saying it aloud would make it less painful.

But it didn't.

He caressed her, smoothing her coat with his hand against her back.

"Everything's okay, Love! Your parents have made it through. We have to do the same," he whispered.

"Do you honestly think there's a chance my Brother might truly still be alive?"

"I think there's a very slim possibility. But very, very slim. I just don't want you to get your hopes up. But, I promise you this, Millicent, I already have permission to review the entire case, which truthfully I would have done so without it. But this way I'll have access to everything, every minute detail. And I give you my word, I will comb through it and if your Brother is still alive, I will find him. If he has truly been murdered, I will somehow find proof of that, as well. Either way, I won't give up until I resolve this case. I want as much peace as possible for your Parents, and for you and your siblings. You all deserve that at the very least."

She nodded and smiled wanly.

"I feel like we just grew up as a couple," she said with her eyes wide, but her face sad, taking in his gaze.

"We have. But I don't want this to take us out of our special place. I don't want us to not be able to enjoy each and every second of all that is new and wonderful and magical leading up to our Wedding."

"My Darling, don't you know? The new and the wonderful and the magical will always be there for us. I know it. We haven't lost anything today. Instead, we've gained everything. Because we've worked through our first hurdle. Our first difficulty. And we've survived it with flying colors! You've trusted me and I've trusted you. And that's all that matters. And now we share this burden together. That brings us closer together and deeper in love! That makes everything even more magical! Whether my Brother is in Heaven or somewhere on this earth, I know you'll find the truth."

He tilted her head up and lowered his.

Searching her eyes, vowing to her through them.

"I vow, I will move Heaven and Earth, till I get an answer for you and your Family, Kalie!"

"I know you will. And that in itself gives me peace."

They stood together and he took her hands.

"I cherish you and love you all the more for your understanding. I give you my word, I will always trust you," he whispered. "And always be honest with you."

He pressed his lips to hers, both mangling their lips together, both desperately needing each other…

He placed his hands at the back of her head, his fingers slipping into her French Twist, holding her as close to him as possible, knowing she was his and he was hers.

She finally leaned back just enough to reach up and pull his scarf toward her, wrapping herself completely in him.

They stood there together with the noonday sun dancing above them, with the chilling cold wind enveloping them, enmeshed with each other, feeling only each other's warmth.

The river flowed raucously in its ever-continuous rhythm right beside them, but it left them a gift of the best piece of life behind: the bonding and maturing of two people in the very young stages of love.

Two people forging beyond their young perfect love to allow imperfection, the bad, and the difficult, to enter in.

Yielding something deeper, something more grounded, something more intimate.

A complete opening and sharing of each other, with true reliance on each other.

And both somehow already realized that what they had, had to always include total forthrightness, in order for their relationship, their love, to be all that each needed it to be.

Their love was different.

It aspired to be different than most, and they both knew it.

Instead of the expected chaos or despair in the sharing, there was a calm feeling of unity that engulfed both of them.

And because of sharing this very thing that could have divided them, and could have even been kept as a secret between them, there was a stronger security in their present, and the separation they were about to face.

And an even stronger assurance and bond for their already secured future…