Chapter 53: Past, Present, and Future

Millicent sat quietly, waiting for Antoinette to continue, not wanting to spook her in any way.

"I'm Antoinette…" but the poor girl couldn't get her last name out no matter how hard she tried.

She was old enough to know admitting her name could cause all sorts of problems, while definitely giving her secrets away.

But still, there was turmoil churning inside her.

She didn't know what to do, and thoughts raced through her mind furiously.

'Where is Papa when I need him? He'd know what to do!'

'Besides, this is my Attorney, and the lady seems really nice.'

'Papa has Attornies and he listens to them. And talks to them, too!'

'I don't know what I should do.'

'Stay silent or just trust her and tell her the truth?'

Millicent still didn't say a word, as she sensed Antoinette's internal struggle.

'There's no pressure from this beautiful lady, just patience and understanding! She's not even asking me questions! At least not yet!'

Even Antoinette could sense that Millicent had a strong desire to help her.

It made Antoinette think of her own mother.

She was beautiful too, but she was raven-haired and brown-eyed.

And then it came to her.

Her Papa always said when you don't know what to say, either don't say anything or completely switch gears.

So, his words were exactly what she used as her guide.

It would be rude to not say anything at all, and her parents would never tolerate that, so looking up directly at Millicent, she switched gears on a dime...

"Do you have a daughter?"

The question came out of nowhere.

"Yes, I do," answered Millicent truthfully.

"I suppose you really love her as my Mama loves me…"

"I love her very much. As I'm sure your Mother loves you, Antoinette."

"She does love me, a lot!" sighed Antoinette.

Millicent smiled lovingly at the young girl, who had obviously already experienced a lot in her young life.

"She calls me Nettie. So, if you want, could you call me that too?" the girl asked wistfully, as she bit into a second biscuit.

The truth was the girl was desperate to hear her Mother's pet name for her.

A name her Auntie never used.

Antoinette was homesick, for her real home, and now that she was separated from her travel companions, she wasn't even sure how she'd ever get to her current home.

She didn't even have any money with her.

"That's a lovely name, and I'm honored you're allowing me to use your Mother's special name for you, Nettie!"

"My Mama's real pretty like you. But she looks a lot different than you. You have light hair, and she has dark hair. Also, you have green eyes, and she has dark brown eyes. But mostly she's kind like you. Everyone loves her."

Millicent noticed a troubling cloud fell over Nettie's face as she said that last sentence, so she waited patiently while 'Nettie' finished her second biscuit.

But whether it was nervousness or hunger (the latter which Millicent doubted, as she had been under Florence's care), the girl reached for a third biscuit!

"You said 'is,'" noted Millicent, as she leaned in closer to the young girl. "Nettie, did you have to leave your Mother? Is that why you came to Canada from Paris?"

The girl nodded her head.

"She didn't want me to leave."

"I'm sure she didn't. Is your mother okay, Nettie?" Millicent asked the question with so much compassion, it made Nettie tell the truth.

"I don't know. I hope she's okay. She said she was. But I know she had to go away. I mean it's just for a while. You see, Papa was on one of his business trips, and there was this man who helped us. Well, he was our friend, until…"

"Until…" nudged Millicent gently before Nettie lost her train of thought.

Nettie decided to withdraw a bit, and change her tactic.

And make no mistake, the girl might have only been fifteen, but she was cautiously and very strategically proceeding, even though Millicent was her Attorney.

Millicent had to admire Nettie's determination and grit, even though she desperately needed the girl to be forthcoming.

"I don't know a lot. He followed us everywhere we went and was always outside our apartment. We just called him by his first name, Gilbert. He watched over us and took good care of us. I think Papa paid him to protect Mama and me because he couldn't be there with us. I guess he was part of our staff, at least when Papa was gone. But he was our really good friend too. I just know the man was really nice. But something happened to us and to him, and Mama got really scared. That's when she sent me to Canada to live with her Aunt. So, I guess that makes Auntie Charlotte my Great Aunt. I mean, Mama is going to come back for me. She really is. She said it had to be this way, just for a while. She's definitely coming back for me…"

"I'm sure your Mother is doing everything she can, to do just that, Nettie."

Nettie smiled and nodded, willing it to be so.

"She just can't leave without Gilbert and I don't think she trusts him anymore. Or maybe it's the woman. I'm not sure of anything. You see, everything changed, when that woman showed up. Gilbert stopped being nice to Mama and me, and I think it's because of that woman. He wasn't mean or anything. Just distant. I think he was scared too, of the woman, I mean. Mama doesn't even know I know about her. She had light hair like you, but she was old, and she yelled at my Mama something fierce. I didn't know the words, but I knew they weren't nice. When I told Auntie Charlotte, she said to never say those words again, or she would wash my mouth out with soap! When that woman left my Mama, I looked out my bedroom window, and there was the woman outside, yelling at Gilbert, too. That last time she visited, she even made him leave us and go with her."

Nettie's words had come spilling out and they were all so matter of fact and too detailed to be contrived, so Millicent didn't doubt the authenticity of what was being said for a second.

She had learned a long time ago how to tell when someone was lying.

Nettie was not lying…

She was just not saying everything Millicent needed her to say.

At least not yet…

"Nettie, you say this man was a friend, was he a special friend of yours and your Mother's, or was he just a friend because he was an employee?"

"Oh, no, Mademoiselle, I mean…" said Nettie, very confused. "Madame, I suppose if you're a Mother."

"It's Mademoiselle for now, Nettie. I'm engaged and my fiancé has a daughter who is already my daughter in my heart."

"She's lucky, then. You'll be a good Mother. No, Gilbert wasn't a special friend. Just a good friend. Mama doesn't have special friends. That would hurt Papa, and she would never hurt him like that. Mama loves Papa with all her heart. I really do think Papa paid him to watch over us. You see, Papa has to be gone a lot. He's a really important man. He has a lot of businesses in the States and here in Canada. I don't know who that woman is or why she was at our home. I just know I don't like her. Mama didn't either, and I don't even think Gilbert did!"

"Nettie, you've told me the name of your friend and employee, but you haven't mentioned the name of the woman. Do you know her name?"

"I'm not supposed to, but I heard Mama trying to reason with her. She called her Helen. That's all I know."

"And you don't know who she is or why she was in your home?"

"No, Mademoiselle. I just know Papa would never have allowed her to talk to Mama like she did. He wouldn't let anybody do that. Because as much as Mama loves him, he loves her that much and more! I'm hoping I can find him. I miss him so much, and I miss Mama so much, too. If I can just find him, I'm sure he'll fix all this mess, and we can all be together again. Like we're supposed to be. Maybe he can get Gilbert back. Auntie Charlotte is fine and all, but she runs a business, and she's really busy too. I don't know what she does exactly. I just know she has a really big business. And it takes most of her time."

"Nettie, as your Attorney, I need to ask you this question. Is your Auntie Charlotte your legal guardian in your parents' absence?"

"Yes. Mama did that in case I get sick or something bad happens. Just in case…"

"Then you need to tell me why you are here with the two Gentlemen. It's the only way I can help you, Nettie."

Knowing the child was somehow with two now known criminals didn't say a lot for her Auntie Charlotte's judgment, legal guardian or not, and now Millicent was bound by law and her own ethics to determine if Nettie was in a safe and secure environment according to the law, with her Aunt as legal guardian.

"Oh, they're Auntie Charlotte's neighbors. They play Chess with my Auntie most every afternoon in her fancy parlor, the really big fancy one. I overheard them tell her they were going to see a Monsieur Bouchard and…"

Nettie was smart enough to realize she had blown her cover, and it was too late to backtrack, so she just averted her eyes to the floor.

Millicent cupped her chin in her palm, gently tilting it, so she could look directly into Nettie's eyes.

"You wanted to find your Father. And your name is Antoinette Bouchard. But why did your Auntie agree to you traveling with neighbors?"

"Well, she didn't, exactly."

Millicent could tell she had hit a nerve and Nettie was now getting very nervous.

In fact, she got up to pace while she thought before she calmed down enough to answer the question.

"My Auntie was already gone when we left, and it was the housekeepers who were taking care of me, so I begged them to let me come. They knew the neighbors would take good care of me, and I promised to be back before my Auntie Charlotte returned. That way they wouldn't be bothered with taking care of me while she was gone. I even left a note, I really did! She'll see it first thing when she gets home this weekend. But, see she's going to be really mad, because I was supposed to already be back there. I was going to take the note back, so she wouldn't know about any of this! She's going to be awfully mad at me and…"

"Nettie, your Auntie is going to be beside herself with worry over you. You're going to have to call her. And if she's going to be mad at her neighbors, the men who brought you here, I'm afraid it's going to be a while before your Auntie will be able to see them."

"I know she's going to be really mad. Probably at all of us! I'm sorry. I really am sorry. I just have to find Papa. It's the only way I can help Mama. And I don't know where my Auntie is. It was just some business trip to the coast. See, there aren't any Bouchards in our area. I'm the only one. I just had to try. I just have to find Papa!"

Nettie was now crying.

She had been found out.

She had run away.

Without her guardian's permission.

The girl had done it for a legitimate reason, at least in her mind, but she had still run away.

Millicent wrapped her arms around Nettie.

"Nettie, you can't do something like this again. You could have very easily been harmed. And in making this horrible choice, you've created this awful mess that we have to fix. Your Mama and Papa would be devastated if something were to happen to you!"

"I'm truly sorry. I just had to meet with Monsieur Bouchard. Can you please help me?"

"I think I can. But you have to give me your parents' names, your guardian's full name, and the names of the two Gentlemen you were with. You have to tell me everything, Nettie. You can't hold anything back. And if you do that, I promise you, I'll do everything in my power to help you…"

After Bill left with Antoinette, Matt and Lance brought the pile of food in, that several of the neighbors had left with them, as the word was getting around that Nathan had been shot.

Rosemary had even dropped off one of her nicest coats, a camel tan one in wool with sable trim, for Millicent to wear since she had heard about the shooting and that Millicent's coat was covered in Nathan's blood.

Not a reminder, Rosemary was going to allow her new friend to be subjected to!

She had also left a message with Matt and Lance, saying she would be back later with Dinner.

"Be careful, Miss. This one's really hot!" warned Matt. "It's a pot of Brunswick Stew, delivered from the Café. With Hot bread, too."

"These are salads. Want me to put them in the icebox?" asked Lance.

"Let me peak first," and Millicent did just that. "These all look delicious. How kind of everyone! The Greens Salad will probably go best with the Stew. Here, you two sit, and I'll dish out your lunch! Besides you need to be out of that cold for a while!"

"Thanks, Miss. How can we not say yes to that?"

As Millicent served Matt and Lance, she fixed a tray to take upstairs for Nathan and her.

"Here, I'll carry it!" offered Matt, as he jumped up to do just that.

"Thanks, Matt. But I've got it! You two just enjoy your lunch! Oh, and do you mind putting the hot dishes in the oven? It's still warm from this morning. And that way, we'll have a feast ready for whenever anyone's hungry!"

"Consider it done, Miss!"

As Millicent gingerly maneuvered the stairs, she was brimming with excitement to be back with Nathan.

"Nathan, is it okay to come in?"

"Darling, please! Oh, I was missing you!"

Bill had helped him shave and he was sitting up in bed, looking much better than when she had left him, for which she was so thankful!

"I've been missing you, too! I love you so much, Darling! Oh, I've got one of your favorites for lunch. The Café sent us Brunswick Stew with Hot Bread. And Cat sent us a nice Salad of Greens. We even have dessert. But that's going to be a surprise," grinned Millicent.

She sat the tray down on Nathan's bedside table, and proceeded to shake out his two napkins, placing one over him, and laying the other beside him.

"Do you feel up to praying or shall I?"

"You do it, please, Mil. My words are still slurred."

"That will get better, Love!"

She sat down beside him, reaching to kiss him, then she took his hand and they bowed their heads together.

"Dear Father, thank you for being here with Nathan. We know You are because he already looks better than he did last night. Please continue to nourish him and strengthen him with the food we are about to receive in your most Holy Name, Amen!"

"Amen!"

"Mil, I do feel better. Just by shaving and Bill helping me with a sponge bath. At least I hope I'm more presentable for you."

"You are always presentable for me. The number one concern here is getting you well, my Love. Here you go, I didn't want to overdo and give you too much stew, but it's a healthy portion. And if you can eat all of it, I'll run and get you more, so it will be hot!"

"I think you've run enough this morning. Thanks for making Allie's breakfast and taking her to school."

"Always. It's one of my new jobs, and I can't wait for us to take her to school together once we are married."

"I'm not sure I can wait, Mil."

"Neither can I," she laughed.

"This really tastes good. Don't tell Bill I said, but his stew is even better when Minnie makes it!"

Millicent tasted too.

"She's added nutmeg! And you're right. It brings all the flavors together!"

"Did you get what you needed from the girl?"

"I did, Love! Everything I need. It took a bit, but finally got it all."

"Then why don't you look relieved?"

"Don't I?"

"No, Babe. You look like something's bothering you."

"It is, but you weren't supposed to notice that," she grinned.

"Can you share?"

"Just the little bit of it that really is superfluous to her case! I suppose I could let you in on what's bothering me, because it doesn't directly impact Nettie, but…"

"Nettie?"

"Yes, short for her formal name, which I'm sure you will see on the state's paperwork. Her legal name is Antoinette Bouchard."

"Bouchard?"

"Yes, but that's not what's troubling me. How can I say this without divulging anything?"

"Well, if it goes in her record, I'll see it anyway."

"I'm not sure this needs to go in her record. I'm not even sure it's anything at all. But I am sure I'm not going to rest until I have an answer. It's an aside, really. An aside I need your advice on. So, let's talk in hypotheticals."

"Hypotheticals, it is."

"If a woman is running a huge business, a business that involves travel, would she have time to play chess every single afternoon with two of her neighbors?"

"She would if she were also conducting business with said two neighbors at the same time. Perhaps their Chess meets are just covers for taking care of the real business at hand!"

"That's it, Darling! That makes sense. Even with my Law Practice, I would never have the time to play Chess every afternoon, unless I was conducting business the entire time. But, Nate, even that wouldn't allow me to do so at home…"

"What are you thinking, Love?"

"What real business would need to be conducted covertly?" she asked deep in thought. "In the privacy of one's home?"

"That's a good question, my little Chief Inspector!"

She smiled and was pleased he felt good enough to tease her.

"Oh, I don't plan to encroach on your Territory, Love! I'll leave the investigating to you and Bill. Something's just off! But, I don't know what. I'll have to stew on it, and yes, that pun is absolutely intended!"

Nathan chuckled in spite of the pain, he was starting to feel.

Millicent could tell by the slight grimace that came after.

"Darling, did Bill give you your Morphine?"

"I think we forgot. We got busy talking."

"I bet you two were talking. I would even go so far as to say you two were working, which means I'm going to have to watch the Judge much more closely! In fact, I think the Judge just got fired from his medication responsibilities!"

She got up to get his Morphine dose and pour him a glass of water to swallow it with.

"Afraid, we're guilty as charged, Counselor. But I promise to nap after we eat. Bouchard, eh?"

"Yes, and I have a hunch on that one, too! Here, take this!"

"Care to share?"

"Sorry, Love. That one does involve confidentiality! I do have a question for you, though."

"Fire away…"

"Nathan Grant…" she chided gently.

"Sorry, Darling! It just slipped out!"

"Do you know the names of any Bouchards connected to Lucas?"

"I only know his Mother's name. Why?"

She gave him a look that let him know he couldn't ask that particular question.

So, he continued on…

"His mother's name is Helen. She's the only relative I know. She actually visited here. She seemed a bit uptight, and she had blond hair which she wore loose or down as you say. I thought it was odd for a woman of her age. And that's about all I know."

"That's funny. Somehow none of that surprises me!"

"I'm not surprised that you're not surprised, because I have a very beautiful, very intelligent, and very smart Fiancee! I am proud of you for helping 'Nettie,' Mil! But I don't want you around Bouchard alone. Not even with the child. I don't think he would hurt you. It's not that, but he does seem fixated on you, and that concerns me. Promise me that you always take Bill with you, and Gabe, too, with Tom outside."

"I promise, Darling. I'll take my three Musketeers with me! You have my word. Don't give any of that another thought! Hey, you did great with the stew. Would you like a bit more?"

"No, thanks, still don't have much of an appetite back! I just want you, my Kalie!"

She tenderly tucked a lock of his hair back that had fallen across his forehead.

"What, no dessert? It's a good one, too!"

"Only you for dessert…" he managed, with a look of longing and frustration in his weary eyes.

He wanted to hold her desperately and was so frustrated he was unable to do so.

At the same time, his words caused her to laugh a deep, throaty laugh, and he couldn't help but laugh with her, handing her his empty bowl, and reaching for her at the same time, as she stretched with her other arm to set it back on his nightstand.

Once free, she playfully brought her rosy, cupid-bow-shaped lips to his, her soft lips instantly warming his still chilled and pale ones.

"Sweeter than wine…" he mused, relaxing totally with her touch.

And she was home.

Home with the man she loved, the man she was somehow falling in love with more and more each day.

How could there be so much love?

How was this possible?

Even in this, his injury.

It only made her love him more, with a singular focus of getting him well again.

It was a recurring theme in their relationship for each of them: theirs was a boundless love, an everlasting love, a wondrous love, that just kept growing and growing with each new day.

And it was theirs alone…

As Nathan was sleeping more peacefully than he had since the shooting, Millicent slipped downstairs to start her long list of calls.

"Mother…"

"Don't tell me you're not coming home, Millicent Bradford, and if you are, there better be a really good story involved!"

"And an even more spectacular reason," she added firmly and quickly.

"Mother, he's as good now as he can be this soon after, so don't worry, but Nathan got shot in the shoulder last night. The bullet grazed him and left a nasty open wound…"

"Oh, my Darling, I am so very sorry! Of course, you take care of him and give him our love. Just get him well, and we'll start praying immediately for all three of you! Is there anything at all we can do?"

"Your understanding is more than enough. I'm telegramming you our Wedding Plans, so you and Sophia have a framework, a starting point if you will. Oh, and Mother, can you do me a favor and call Auntie Luciana?"

"I would, Darling, but I'm afraid it's too late! She's already heard, and of course, she's come to stay!"

"Oh, Mother, I'm so sorry…"

"We'll manage, Dear! I love her dearly, she's just quite the handful. And with all the Wedding Planning too! But there's no way around it. I'm afraid she's here for good. I'll explain to her about Nathan's injury, but Millicent, you must call her too, when you get a moment in a few days or so. She was quite upset you hadn't called her to share your news, and all of my excuses in the world didn't hold any water at all in her view! She just loves you, Darling! And is over the moon that we're having a Wedding! And you know how she loves Nathan! How can we not let her be a part of it all?"

"Mother, I'm sending you a list of flowers, my favorite white ones, and yours and Sophia's favorite white ones. Perhaps you'd better add the Grandmothers, and Auntie Luciana's favorite white ones too."

"Oh, Millicent, what a lovely idea! Sophie will love that too. And your Grandmothers and Auntie Luciana will be thrilled to be included. After all, she is more of an honorary Grandmother than an Auntie! I'll take care of it all and get the flowers ordered as soon as I get your list. All white will be beautiful, especially since it's winter! And so very special with all of our favorites! I just love that! Oh, and before I forget, have you thought about your Wedding Gown? I've called your three favorite designers and asked them to be working on designs for you, but Darling, they need your input first."

"Thank you, Mother. I'll add that to my list and call them from here! Mother, I hear Nathan, I have to go."

"I hear him, too, Millicent. Whatever is wrong?"

"He's having nightmares, Mother. And he's having one now. I have to go…"

"Give him our love! Stay strong, Darling! I'll call Essie and Hendrix for you. But you need to call Sophia!"

"I will! Thank you, Mother…"

Millicent hung the earpiece up and literally ran up the stairs, straight to Nathan…

"Darling. It's me!" and she wrapped her arms around him the best she could.

He was shaking, and still wrestling in his sleep.

"It's okay, Baby, I'm here."

Miraculously, she was able to calm him without him completely waking.

But she was getting very concerned.

She knew some of this was to be expected, but surely not every single time he closed his eyes.

How could he get his much-needed rest to heal?

She made a mental note to call Pastor Joseph, and have him come by.

And maybe, just maybe, the nightmares would lessen as Faith decreased his dose of morphine.

Millicent knew she was surrounded by love, but suddenly she felt alone.

What if this was going to be Nathan's new normal?

No, she simply wouldn't accept that.

She couldn't accept that.

"Help me know what to do, Dear God!" she whispered, as she wiped the perspiration away from his damp forehead. "He doesn't deserve this! He was just now starting to work through all that pain of his grief. He so deserves happiness and peace. Please help me know how to give it to him."

Glancing at the clock, she realized she would need to stay with him as he slept and hoped that would be enough to keep the nightmares away, until she had to wake him within the hour to change his dressing.

She bent and laid her head on his good shoulder, and that calmed him more than anything, even in his sleep.

The position she was in was awkward, to say the least, but she didn't care. She tried to maneuver into a more comfortable position for him, without waking him, and was finally successful, at the same time giving herself more room to sit up, now holding her hand where her head had lain.

They had had two and a half blissful, perfect weeks together as a new couple, and now, they were going through a dark spot, but their love was still shining brightly.

"I give Nathan to You, Dear Lord. He is my everything, but I give him to You. Heal him in your own inimitable and powerful way. Strengthen him each day, and please give him rest. Help me know what to do to best help him, and please give me the strength I need to be strong for him. Take his every care away, and place it on me in his stead. Help me be everything he needs, everything Allie needs, to get us all through this as a Family…"

Millicent stretched to reach Nathan's Bible, trying her best not to move her hand, still on his shoulder.

She was searching for a verse, a promise.

A promise she desperately needed…

She opened the much-loved, well-worn Bible and quickly found the passage she was looking for.

Psalm 46:1-3 King James Version:

God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah." (*35)

'Selah,' a Hebrew word that denoted a break between Psalms, but a word that also meant 'forever.'

God's promise was everlasting, just like their love.

And His Word was "forever."

With peace filling her heart, Millicent fumbled with her left hand, trying to place the Bible back where it had been, when something fell out from just inside the cover and onto the bed beside her.

It was her answer as clearly as it could be, and it was everything, bringing the most grateful and resplendant smile to her face.

It was as though God was having a direct conversation with her, letting her know she was not at all alone, and never had been.

Not in her past, not in her present, and certainly not in her future…

It was just an old dried daisy.

Just like the ones she had given Nathan every single day when he was eleven years old and had the chicken pox. She had been the only one who had already had the dreaded illness and was therefore the only one allowed to visit him.

Every day she came, she walked through the field with Richard and Colleen, where the three of them together picked a large bouquet of daisies for her to bring him.

Thinking back, her heart was full and overflowing as a single tear made its way down her cheek, remembering their concern and his itching, pocked skin.

He had had a really bad case and was totally miserable for the duration, cheering only with her visits.

This was one of those many daisies.

She knew because she had tied that first bouquet with a piece of her pink hair ribbon, and Nathan had kept not only the daisy, but the now faded pink ribbon along with it.

Even the memory alone was priceless to her.

Much less the actual daisy and ribbon, kept for all these years, by a little boy, now the man she loved.

Because of this treasured keepsake, she could finally see the full picture, with a clarity she had never known before.

Their love had already stood the test of time.

Just like this daisy, sprouting those first young seeds of their very special love, Nathan was going to persevere and very soon, be his whole self, once again.

It was not only God's promise to her but Nathan's long-ago promise to her as well.

Now she could finally see past this blip in their road, with a calm assurance of their journey.

Careening joyously into their beautiful future together…

(*35) Psalms 46:1-3, King James Bible, Public Domain

Please Note: Thanks to one of our readers, Luciana Meurs Grauso for sharing her beautiful first name with our indomitable new character of Millicent's Auntie Luciana, who is a beloved, but dynamic and wonderful force to be reckoned with!