Chapter 54: A Circle of Love

Just as Millicent and Allie finished organizing all the food that had been delivered to the Grant kitchen by all the well-meaning people of Hope Valley, there was a quick knock on the front door.

"I'll go get it, Momma!"

"Thanks, Sweetheart. I'm coming right behind you!" smiled Millicent, as she untied her apron.

Allie opened the door to find her favorite Auntie holding Little Oliver's hand and a huge basket of food.

"Auntie Rosie! Oliver!"

"Awee! Awee!"

Rosemary reached to kiss both Allie and Millicent, over her basket, while Allie immediately hugged Oliver and took his hand.

"Auntie Rosie, may I give Oliver a Biscuit with some Milk?"

"Pease, Mommy?"

"That's very nice of Allie, isn't it Son? Yes, if you'll promise me, you'll do what Allie says, okay?"

Oliver nodded yes furiously, as he turned to head for the kitchen with 'Awee,' his favorite new cousin!

"Wait, just a second, you two, I think I need a hug from my Godson, first!" and Millicent knelt to the floor, smiling at Oliver with open arms.

He grinned, and took a running leap straight into her arms, hugging her tightly around the neck, as she smothered him with kisses.

"What a nice hug that is, Oliver. I don't think I could ask for better!"

He was beaming, and she winked and patted him as he turned to leave with a smiling Allie.

It warmed Rosemary's heart to see her Son fussed over by his Godmother, and it was very clear to her that Millicent already loved Oliver very much, and that Oliver already loved her!

"He is the sweetest little boy, Rosemary!"

"Yes, he most certainly is! Oh, my goodness, Millicent, how is our patient? And how are you? Lee and I have been sick about this ever since we heard about it! Nathan doesn't deserve this! And neither do you, Millicent. This is supposed to be such a happy time for the both of you!"

"We're alright, Rosemary, I'm just so thankful Nathan's going to fully heal! He's doing as well as can be expected. And that's all that matters! Faith is upstairs with him now, changing his dressing. I had to help Allie sort through all the food."

"Sorry about the food scenario! I've already gotten those issues straightened out. When I brought over the coat, I noticed how much there was, and I'm sure you got a lot of duplicates! But Florence is getting a list together, so that won't happen again. This way everything will be more organized, and we'll space it out so you won't have to worry about a single meal! I did bring a hot dinner for tonight though because I wasn't sure what all you had. But I'm afraid it's rather simple. Just a Roast with Potatoes and Carrots! That was about all I could manage!"

"Rosemary, what you've done is more than enough. I'm just so glad to see you, and thanks so much for lending the coat, too! How in the world did you do all this with the Children?"

"Laura came after her morning at school and was a lifesaver. She's with Lee now and is planning to spend the night."

"Here let me take this!" and Millicent took the heavy basket of food.

"I brought Oliver because the girls were both crying for their bottles, and I believe the poor little guy needed a break from his sisters! The twins have gotten their days and nights mixed up, so Laura offered to spend a few nights to see if she could help us get them settled."

"You sit and rest, while I take this to the kitchen. It smells delicious, Rosemary! And the Roast is exactly what Nathan needs. Faith wants him to get lots of protein."

As Rosemary sat down on the settee, she suddenly realized she was sitting for the first time today, except to rock one of the girls! And it felt so good! She had been going on adrenalin and hadn't even realized she was exhausted.

But Rosemary was so deliriously happy, she didn't even care.

She was finally a Mother, and it meant the world to her.

And her husband was finally a Father, which meant as much or more, as it filled her very soul.

It was a gift she thought she would never be able to give him.

And a role she had blamed herself for not being able to do so.

Just one of the many guilts born of infertility she had born over the years, and now, to see Lee so happy with their Children, his Children, meant everything to her.

Millicent's soft voice, as she walked into the living room, still jolted Rosemary from her reverie.

"Rosemary, you look exhausted. I'm so sorry I'm not able to help you with the Children!"

"Millicent! After all you've done? Don't be silly! We're managing just fine. I feel bad I can't be here with you to help with Nathan more!"

"You've done more than enough! And I love you for it. Are things going okay with Oliver? He seems so happy! He and Allie are doing fine by the way."

Rosemary beamed.

"He does seem happy, doesn't he? I think he really is. He and Lee have hit it right off. And while I've had my hands full with the babies, Lee has stepped in and done everything for Oliver. They're so sweet together! Between us, they both try to help me with the girls, but truthfully Oliver is better at it than Lee!"

Millicent laughed, which felt good to be distracted for a moment.

"That's adorable!" and just as Millicent said that Faith came down the stairs with her Doctor's Bag in hand.

Millicent rose.

"How do you really think he's doing?" she asked anxiously, needing to know everything.

"It's a slow process, but he's right on track for where we want him to be. Don't forget we aren't even at a full twenty-four hours, yet. You've done a beautiful job with the dressing, and he told me you even fixed him liver, which is great! I think we need to keep the morphine as is, right now, and he's not too happy about that. Is he still having the nightmares?"

"So far, pretty much every time he closes his eyes. Is it normal for them to be so frequent?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is. I do believe they will decrease as I decrease the med dose, which hopefully, I'll start to taper by day three. Is there anything you need from me, Millicent?"

"No, thank you, Faith. I'm fine. I just want him well, and whatever it takes to make that happen, that's what we'll do! I know I just need to be patient, but it's hard to see him this way."

"I know it's difficult. Just don't you overdo. He said you didn't sleep at all last night, and he's worried about you. He needs you to stay healthy! And that goes for you too, Rosemary. Even new Mothers need sleep!" chastised the Doctor. "I know you want to see Nathan, Millicent, so I'll grab my coat and let myself out. I'll see you in the morning. If you need anything during the night, just call!"

"Thank you, Faith. We'll see you tomorrow. You get a good night's sleep. I'm sure we're not the only people in Hope Valley depending on you!"

"It's what I love to do!" smiled Faith, as she let herself out, waving from the door.

"Rosemary, I know Nathan will want to see you, and Oliver will be fine with Allie while they finish up their milk and cookies. Come…"

Rosemary followed Millicent up the stairs, but she wasn't quite prepared for Nathan's condition, even though Millicent had whispered he had lost a lot of blood in an effort to warn her.

Millicent knocked lightly on the door Faith had closed.

"Please…come in!"

"Hello, Darling, look who I've brought to see you!"

"Rosemary! Thank you…for coming."

"Nathan, it's the least I can do. Lee and I are just so very sorry you're going through this!" and Rosemary reached to kiss his pale cheek.

"These things happen in my line of work; they're just…never pleasant. But I'm doing fine. Anxious to get out of this bed, though!"

"Darling, that will happen. But for tonight, Rosemary brought us a delicious-looking Roast with Potatoes and Carrots for Dinner. Oh, and you've got the cutest little visitor of all downstairs with Allie."

"Thank you…Rosemary. And thank you…for letting Allie…watch over Oliver. She's been anxious…to do just that! And, of course…the girls too! How are you and Lee…doing? And how are our Godchildren…doing?"

"Our Godchildren! I love the sound of that! They are doing very well, except our girls have their days and night mixed up, which is a little bit of a hiccup, but we're managing! Lee's still a little scared to hold them for any length of time!" laughed Rosemary. "I was telling Millicent, Oliver is actually more help than Lee!"

"It takes us, men, a while…to be sure…we won't break them! But…he'll catch on! You look…a little tired, but truly wonderful. Motherhood… agrees with you!"

"I never thought I could be this happy. We will forever be grateful to you both for the role you played in finding our Children. Thanks to the two of you, we're finally a Family. The Coulter Family!"

"And when the Coulters do it, you do it up big!" smiled Millicent. "Three at once at these young ages is quite the undertaking, but I knew you could do it, and you just seem to be taking it all in stride beautifully. It's such a wonderful thing to see!"

"It feels more wonderful than I ever imagined. But I don't want to tire you out, Nathan, and it looks like you need your rest. So perhaps I'd better go, and get my Son! But Lee and I will check back in on you tomorrow. We love you both and would give anything for you not to be going through this. Just know you have our love and our prayers for a speedy recovery. Don't forget that!"

Nathan nodded his thanks.

"Thank you both for that! Let me see you out." offered Millicent.

"No, you stay right here with Nathan! And that's an order. Allie will let us out!"

"Goodbye, Rosemary!" smiled Nathan weakly.

"Thank you for everything! We love you, and tell Lee we love him too! Give Sadie and Sophie kisses from us! And Oliver too!"

"I will definitely do that, and I'll check back, in the morning!"

As Rosemary walked down the steps, Millicent bent down to kiss Nathan.

"Darling, I think you need to rest. You just look exhausted."

His face was strained, and just talking to Faith and Rosemary, had seemed to wear him completely out.

He nodded, knowing she was right.

"Mil…are you…alright?"

"I'm more than alright," and she sat down on the edge of the bed beside him. "You want to know why?"

"Always…"

"Because earlier, the Love of my Life, gave me a Flower while he was sleeping. A very special flower. The most special one of all."

Her eyes were shining.

"You found our Daisy?" he asked shyly.

"Our Daisy found me, Love. I can't believe you kept it all this time, but I'm so very glad you did. Through it, God gave me the promise, that you are going to fully recover. It's just a matter of time. And you, my Kalie, along with Allie and me, are going to have the most extraordinary life together."

"Come to me, my Kalie…you look so beautiful…in that blouse. Where did you find it?"

"I didn't, Love! Auntie Luciana bought it for me on her last trip to Paris. She said it's French Vintage with embroidered lace, and that's all I know.

"The pearl buttons…are so…you…"

She brought her face to his, as he was too weak to lift his own, yet he responded in his kiss with all the love he had within him, passionately, needing her desperately, despite his exhaustion.

"I so…adore…you! I'll have to…thank Auntie L."

"You'll get to soon. I'm afraid she's already moved into Mother and Father's! But I should warn you, she's furious with me for not calling her to tell her about our Wedding."

"She'll never…let us live that down," and he kissed her once more gently, sweetly, tenderly.

"Dad, Momma!"

"Yes, Sweetheart?" asked Millicent, blushing, as she pulled away and Allie came rushing into Nathan's bedroom.

"I got to take care of Oliver all by myself!"

"I know, and it looked like it went very well!"

"Yes, Momma, it did! I love that little boy!"

"By the look on his face, Allie, I think Oliver loves you, too!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt something?" Allie's eyes were going from her Momma to her Dad and back again.

The child was nothing if not perceptive!

"I was just telling your Momma…how much…I love her," answered Nathan honestly, with a glimmer of a twinkle in his weary eyes. "And how beautiful she looks."

Allie giggled.

"I think that's very cool! Did you tell him you love him, too, Momma?"

"Well, I was about to…but my beautiful daughter entered the room."

Millicent smiled and scooted back, taking Allie's hand and leading her to sit beside her Dad.

"Here Momma, you sit here," directed Allie, as she scooted closer to her Dad, and pointed to the empty spot beside her.

And at their Daughter's request, there were the three of them with Allie sitting in the middle, grinning from ear to ear, Nathan laying on one side beside her, and Millicent sitting on the other side of her, all on the bed together.

"This is our Family," Allie said simply.

"Yes, it is," smiled Millicent, reaching to give her Daughter a kiss. "And I think it's a spectacular one if I do say so myself!"

"I'm a very blessed man…to have two…such beautiful girls!"

"A man who needs to rest, Love!" reminded Millicent gently.

Nathan stretched his good arm behind Allie.

He had to touch Millicent, and with that single touch, their Family's circle of love was complete…

As Rosemary entered her own door, with her hand in Oliver's, she was surprised to see Elizabeth running to meet her, from inside her own home.

"Why didn't you tell me about Nathan?"

"We didn't know when we saw you, and it slipped my mind, as the girls were so fussy. I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I wasn't trying to keep it from you."

"I've got to go see him…"

"Elizabeth, no! Not tonight. He's simply exhausted."

"You saw him?"

"Just for a few minutes. I took them dinner. He was much too tired for company."

"How does he look?"

"Truthfully, very pale and weak. But he's strong and so is Millicent. They're doing as well as can be expected."

"Are you implying I'm not strong?"

"Elizabeth, no. I'm not implying anything. I was thinking of them, not you and me."

Rosemary was grateful Laura and Lee were upstairs with the twins, Sadie and Sophie.

"Oliver, let me help you upstairs, so you can check on Daddy. Okay?"

"Okay, Mommy!"

Sadly, Auntie Elizabeth, Honorary Godparent, had not even realized her Godchild had entered the room.

Heavy-hearted, Rosemary led Oliver up the stairs where Lee met him at the top and scooped him up into his arms, as he gave his wife a look of 'I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do!'

Rosemary sighed and turned to face Elizabeth again.

She had hoped Elizabeth would welcome her children into her life the same as she and Lee had welcomed Little Jack into theirs.

But that was not yet the case, as Elizabeth seemed to be in a world all her own, a world of anguish, that she couldn't get herself out of enough to truly consider others.

It pained Rosemary to see her friend like this.

Once Elizabeth could work through all these problems, and be herself again, Rosemary had no doubt her dream of equal closeness for their children would be realized.

It was just going to take some time, and Rosemary was silently praying for patience as she walked back down the stairs.

This was such a special, happy time for the Coulters, and Rosemary desperately wanted Elizabeth to be a part of it.

And quite frankly, she didn't want the distraction of Elizabeth's heaviness.

"Elizabeth, may I offer you some tea?" she smiled as best she could.

"I'll fix it," offered Elizabeth. "It will give me something to do."

"That would be nice. Truthfully, it's been a stressful day finding out about Nathan, and dealing with the girls not being settled."

"I'm sorry, Rosemary. But you should have told me about Nathan."

Rosemary chose to ignore the admonition and tried changing the subject.

"What have you and Charles been up to today?"

"Not a lot. I've written most of the day, and Charles has worked on some business matters. If you must know, he's been on the phone quite a bit."

It was her friend's tone, that rankled Rosemary.

"Elizabeth, I don't 'must know' anything. I was simply politely inquiring as to your day. What is wrong with you? We certainly don't need any more stress in this house, and quite frankly neither do you!"

"I'm sorry, Rosemary. I truly am. I just.."

Rosemary sighed more heavily this time, without trying to hide it, as she sat down at her kitchen table, and watched as Elizabeth made the tea.

She couldn't help wonder if her friend was ever going to get over this.

More accurately if she was ever going to get over both Jack and Nathan.

And also, if she, Rosemary, was going to survive this phase of their friendship!

For truthfully, Rosemary knew her friend had not resolved anything where the two men were involved.

"Poor Charles," she voiced aloud without thinking.

"Excuse me?" asked Elizabeth sharply as she turned to face her friend.

"This can't be pleasant for Charles, to see you this upset over Nathan."

"No, Rosemary, it isn't. But I can't do anything about that!"

"Oh, yes you can! You are the only one who can do anything and everything about that!"

Rosemary could feel the steam coming out of Elizabeth's head, as her friend tried to busy herself duplicating the same in Rosemary's teapot!

Exhausted, Rosemary decided to take the few quiet moments while Elizabeth busied herself with the tea and drift back in her mind to her beautiful children.

In reality, she was bracing herself for what she knew was coming.

And sure enough, as soon as Elizabeth sat down, it started.

"Tell me every single thing."

"There's nothing to tell, Elizabeth. You must know as much as I do by now. We didn't talk about the particulars. I don't know any details at all. I didn't feel it was helpful to grill them and make them relive everything. I think Nathan is doing that enough, already. As rude as it is, I suppose you'll 'have to ask them!'"

Rosemary had had enough.

Elizabeth's mouth fell open.

Rosemary reached for Elizabeth's hand, who had sat down at the table.

"I am not trying to hurt you. I love you, and I am trying my best to help you. Elizabeth, Nathan and Millicent are deeply in love, and they're going through a really rough time right now. They need our prayers, not our conjectures."

"Of course. But, I've made an awful mistake, Rosemary. I love him. I can't help it. He's the one I love."

"Or is he the one you let get away?"

"That's cruel."

"No, that's your reality. And if you don't move past Jack and past Nathan, you are going to drive yourself insane, because you and I both know, that man is as much in love with Millicent as a man can be. I hate to ask this, Elizabeth, but what are you planning to do? Break them up? Because I can unequivocally tell you, that is not going to work! And you are going to alienate many good people who love you, in addition to permanently alienating Nathan, Millicent, and Allie! Is that what you want?"

"Are you finished?"

"Not until you grasp what I'm trying my best to tell you. Do you really want to lose Charles, too? Because I can assure you, that is exactly where you're headed!"

Elizabeth started crying, and Rosemary handed her her handkerchief.

"I know this is hard, Elizabeth. But have you ever thought, you let Nathan go because you weren't ready to love, and now he's taught you that you are ready to love?"

"But why can't it be him? It was supposed to be him."

"You are the one who has to answer that question. And you truly do have to answer it and move on. Elizabeth, Nathan has moved on. And as painful as it was for him, and is now for you, Nathan is not in love with you and is not ever going to be in love with you, again. He is now only a memory to you, and a good friend, if you will let him be. If not, you're going to lose his friendship forever. You have to move on."

"My mind knows you're right. But my heart can't stop loving him…"

"Your heart needs to be opened to Charles or whomever you choose. But unless you and Little Jack want to be alone the rest of your lives, you are the one who has to open your heart. Little Jack will follow his Mother's lead. Elizabeth you can choose love, you can choose family, you can choose happiness. It's all right there in front of you. It's within your grasp. What are you afraid of?"

"I don't know if I can love again."

"Do any of us know? You just do it. That's what we all do. Love is messy. It's a risk. We commit and we do it. I'm sorry, but you're no different. You are at a crossroads, Elizabeth. You have two choices: to love or to continue to be empty pining after something that isn't yours, and perhaps was never truly yours in the first place. Where is that strong woman I've always adored? If anyone can do this, Elizabeth, it's you."

"I just don't know where to start…"

"You start by getting out of yourself, and focusing on Charles, on Little Jack, and on that sweet child, Eliza Jade. Elizabeth, when I see that adorable child, I just want to scoop her up into my arms and hug her endlessly. Anyone can see how terribly she's missing her Mother. You can be that for her, Elizabeth, a beautiful, giving, loving Mother, just like you used to be with Little Jack. Speaking of which, your Son needs his Mother back as well! That's where you start. If not for Charles, you start with the children!"

Elizabeth nodded, unable to refute anything Rosemary had just said.

She knew everything Rosemary was saying was true.

"I'll talk to Nathan tomorrow. Maybe speaking with him will help me focus on the others."

"If he is even able to speak with you, Elizabeth. The man needs to heal. I'm not so sure you should be discussing anything with him at this point. But you can still start focusing on those closest to you. That's the Elizabeth I've always known and loved, and she does that better than anyone I know…"

"Well, what have we here?"

"It's the Grant Family, Uncle Bill. And we just had a picnic. You'd better climb in!"

"Allie, adding your Uncle in would probably break the bed down!" teased Nathan, who had napped a few moments, before and after eating, and gotten his second wind.

"I resent that remark!"

"Bill, we've already eaten, picnic-style up here with Nathan! But there's a warm plate for you on the stove. Rosemary brought us Roast Beef with Potatoes and Carrots, and it's delicious too. Plus, there are all kinds of salads and desserts in the icebox just waiting for you."

"Thanks! I'll go raid the kitchen after you two get ready for bed!"

"Allie, Sweetheart, I think it's time you kiss your Dad goodnight and we get you to bed! School comes early."

"I love you, Princess! Sweet dreams!"

"Sweet dreams to you Dad! I know! You can dream about Momma!" and Allie reached to kiss him.

The words visibly shook Nathan, although, thankfully for once, Allie didn't notice.

That was exactly the problem. Nathan WAS dreaming about Millicent. But he was dreaming she was being shot…

Every time he closed his eyes in sleep, he saw the bullet coming toward her.

Even when he wasn't screaming out, in the pain of it.

And in his weakened state physically, and his altered mental state with the Morphine, it was almost more than he could take.

As Allie said goodnight to her Uncle Bill, Millicent bent to kiss Nathan's forehead, tenderly straightening his unruly locks.

"You are deeply loved, Nathan Grant. And don't you ever forget it. Be right back, Love. You really do need to get some sleep!"

As she turned to leave with Allie, he held her hand as long as he could, until he finally had to let her slip away.

Bill was concerned.

He had planned to update Nathan on the day's activities, as he had a lot to tell, but it was clear Nathan was not in any shape to hear about work.

Even Bill could tell his body was desperate for sleep.

And then it hit him.

"Your nightmares are about Millicent, aren't they?"

Nathan nodded.

"Nathan, Millicent is fine. And she's a strong woman. She's only worried about you."

"It was so close, Bill. Way too close. It could have easily been her, and that's what I see over and over again when I close my eyes. And it just hurts way too much. I don't know how I can put her through this. I couldn't bear to lose her."

"You listen to me, that's the Morphine talkin'! You protected Millicent, Nathan! You will always protect her. Millicent is safe because of you, and the only thing that girl wants is for you to rest. I know it's hard, but it will get easier with each passing day. You've just finished Day One. Tomorrow will be a lot easier!"

"From experience, I know you're right, but I didn't have Millicent then…and this is somehow, very different."

"You're no longer alone, Nathan. Of course, it's different! You've got an even better reason for gettin' through this even quicker. And truthfully, you hit the jackpot with that girl! You can do this, Nathan. I know it! You will do it, for her. Why you are doin' it!"

Nathan turned to face Bill.

"Please keep reminding me…"

"I will, Son!"

"What happened with our prisoners?"

"We'll go through all that tomorrow, okay? Just rest right now. There's nothing to worry about; we've got everything under control. The men are already in Union City behind bars, and thank goodness, Hope Valley is free of them! Millicent and I have just got to sort out about the girl, tomorrow."

Before Bill could finish, Nathan had drifted off to sleep, for which Bill was thankful, but he was also leery of the nightmares to come.

In Bill's experience, Nathan's feelings were much too convoluted into a what-if scenario, since Millicent had been put at risk because of him, and truthfully, he understood it.

He didn't know if his news was going to help Nathan with that, or make it worse…

Because the warning was meant for Nathan.

And what made matters worse for Bill, was the reason why.

In fact, it made him angrier than a wet Hen.

Or more appropriately a rejected Rooster.

Yes, the Judge was very angry, indeed…