A/N: I update again! I don't know why, but some reason I do not like this story as well as the Holy Grail. Monty Python inspired me. This doesn't. Grr... Anger! Maybe I'm just in a rut. I dunno. I just had a really hard time with this chapter, hence the delay. Oh well. I hope it's good. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing! But I'm trying to buy Mountain Dew from Pepsi and make it my own, and buy a Naruto headband! We'll see which comes first.
(After Hiei's black dragon went on a rampage, the studio… is magically unharmed, except there's fire everywhere, which doesn't seem to be burning the studio)
Hiei: What the crap?
Ryouko: You don't give us enough credit, Hiei-chan.
Saru: After what you did to our studio while we were filming The Holy Grail…
Himizu: We know you have a short temper and you would let the dragon loose at some point. So we took certain precautions.
Hiei: … o.O
Ryouko: This entire studio is fireproof and black dragon-proof. All we have to do is order our crew of ogres to put out the fires and we're good to go.
(Ogres start putting out fires)
Saru: So as you can see, the studio is none the worse for wear and we can start filming! Isn't that awesome!
Yusuke: Yeah… thrilling…
Himizu: Of course it is. Now let's get started! (Singing) Let's get it started; let's get it started in here!
Kurama: You're actually showing some enthusiasm… I'm worried.
Ryouko: She just watched the Blue Jackets beat Detroit by scoring four goals in the third period. Watching Columbus beat Detroit in such fashion is like a drug to her. It's the equivalent of poppies or caffeine.
Himizu: And my dad promised to take me to another game soon! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! (Dances around happily) Rick! And Niky! Yay!
Ryouko: It's like I've always said, freaks belong with freaks.
Himizu: Okay, let's get filming!
(At Yusuke Pacha's house)
(Yusuke Pacha slowly comes up the hill. His son, Rinku Tipo, his daughter, Amanuma Chaca, and his wife, Keiko Chicha, are all awake, and waiting for him.)
Amanuma: (Wearing a dress) WHY AM I A GIRL?
(Rinku laughs hysterically)
Saru: Ish… he's right, that is kinda wrong… and isn't Yusuke's wife supposed to be pregnant?
Keiko: O.O WHAT?
Himizu: Ack… I think this script needs a brief rewrite… come back in an hour… (Starts to slink off to the notorious broom closet, but Kurama grabs her by the collar)
Kurama: Don't even think about it. Make the changes right here. No sneaking off until you've done a decent amount of filming.
Himizu: Fine! Bastard… What are you doing out anyways? I need Youko for this scene. Youko and his lovely llama costume. MWA HA HA!
Kurama: He doesn't want to come out…
Himizu: SCREW HIM! YOUKO, GET YER TAIL OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!
Kurama: Meep… (Changes into Youko)
Youko: Damn pansy treacherous human…
Himizu: Shut up and put on the damn llama suit! Okay, let's take it from the top!
(At Yusuke Pacha's house… again)
(Yusuke Pacha once again comes slowly up the hill. His son, Rinku Tipo, his other son, Amanuma Chaca, and his wife, Keiko Chicha (who is not pregnant), are all awake and waiting for him)
Rinku Tipo: (Hopping around like a hyper small child) Mom, Mom! I think I'm still growing! Measure me again!
Keiko Chicha: All right, Rinku Tipo. Stand still and let's see.
Amanuma Chaca: Mom, you and I both know that it's impossible for him to have grown in the last five minutes.
Keiko Chicha: Mmm! Mmm! (Measuring Rinku Tipo, who keeps bouncing and trying to make himself appear taller)
Amanuma Chaca: Isn't it?
Keiko Chicha: (Gasps fakely making a line that's kinda far above the first line… but don't tell the kids!) Look how much you've grown!
Amanuma Chaca: What? Rinku Tipo, get out of the way. It's my turn again. Measure me.
Rinku Tipo: (spots Yusuke Pacha) Dad's home!
Yusuke Pacha: (Gags, but recovers when he sees the camera pointed at him) Hey, ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Come here. Ha ha ha!
Rinku Tipo: Dad! I ate a bug today!
Yusuke Pacha: Oh! Was Mom baking again? Heh. Don't tell her I said that.
Keiko Chicha: I heard that. (Death glare) Okay, everybody, move aside. (Kisses Yusuke Pacha, looking slightly embarrassed about kissing him in front of a camera)
Rinku Tipo: (Spoiling the moment) Dad, Dad, Dad! Look at how big I am!
Keiko Chicha: We were all measured today.
Yusuke Pacha: Oh. (Lifts eyebrow in bemusement, a flicker of a grin crossing his face as his perverted brain comes up with other meanings for that simple sentence, so Himizu beans him on the head with her giant mallet since that wasn't at all what Keiko was trying to say)
Rinku Tipo: I'm going through a growth spurt. I'm as big as you were when you were me. (Points excitedly to lines)
Yusuke Pacha: (Not even looking) Mm-hmm. Sure are.
Amanuma Chaca: That's not as impressive as my loose tooth. See? (Points to tooth that is definitely not loose)
Everyone: (Looks at Himizu)
Himizu: (Sitting between two empty 12 packs of Mountain Dew) Leave me alone… I don't care anymore…
Ryouko: The caffeine hasn't ignited yet… give her some time…
Keiko Chicha: Okay, okay, you two. Our deal was that you could stay awake until Daddy came home. Now say good night.
Rinku Tipo and Amanuma Chaca: Dad, do we have to? (Give Yusuke Pacha puppy dog eyes)
Yusuke Pacha: No, you two can stay up. (Long silence as everyone waits. Keiko is trying to look angry, but just looks very embarrassed. Yusuke finally grits teeth) We're just gonna be sittin' here tellin' each other how much we love each other. Right, honey? (Yusuke and Keiko turn bright red)
Rinku Tipo: Ugh!
Amanuma Chaca: Blecch!
Both: Good night. (They run away)
(Yusuke and Keiko look away from each other, embarrassed)
Keiko Chicha: …So… what did the emperor want? (Trying to break the awkward silence)
Yusuke Pacha: Ahem. You know what? He couldn't see me.
Keiko Chicha: Couldn't see you? Why not?
Yusuke Pacha: I don't know.
Keiko Chicha: Well, that's just rude.
Yusuke Pacha: Well, he is the emperor. I'm sure he's busy. Yeah right, he's probably more of an ass than Koenma, but okay…
Keiko Chicha: No, no, no, no, no. Emperor or no emperor, it's called common courtesy.
Yusuke Pacha: Kieko Chicha...
Keiko Chicha: If that were me, I'd march right back there and demand to see him, and you know I would.
Yusuke Pacha: Hey, come on, chill a little.
Keiko Chicha: Forget it! I want to go and give that guy a piece of my mind. That kind of behavior just…just…uhh! (Snarls like an angry cat) I gotta go wash something. (Scurries off, while Yusuke Pacha just stands there looking "gloomy") Yusuke Pacha? You okay?
Yusuke Pacha: Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm just a little tired from the trip. Um...I'm gonna go put Misty away.
(Yusuke Pacha goes and sits down outside and hangs his head. Then the scene is replaced by a cute little cartoon of the scene and Youko Kuzco the Llama comes into view holding a magic marker.)
Youko Kuzco the Llama: Uh, heh heh. Hi. Excuse me. Two seconds here. Um, I'm the one in the cart. Remember? This story's about me (circles himself), not him (puts an 'X' over Yusuke Pacha). Okay. You got it? All right. We're gonna move ahead. Sorry to slow you down. (He steps out of the frame, but comes in a few seconds later and completely scratches out Yusuke Pacha.) Heh heh heh.
(The cartoon disappears, the real scene reappears, and Yusuke Pacha begins unloading the cart. He comes across the bag with Youko Kuzco the Llama in it and opens it.)
Yusuke Pacha: Huh? Wha?
Youko Kuzco (can I stop typing the llama part? Of course I can… you know he's a llama): Uhh. Oh.
Yusuke Pacha: Where'd you come from, little guy?
Youko Kuzco: No touchy. (Sways like he's drunk… but for all we know, he is!)
Yusuke Pacha: (falls over backward) Aah! Demon llama!
Youko Kuzco: Demon llama? Where? (looks over at Misty, the normal llama.)
Misty (AKA, random demon): Aah!
Youko Kuzco: Aah! Oh, no! (Tries to run, but keeps falling over like a drunk) Oh, no! Oh, no! Ooh hoo hoo! (Cartwheels and falls over, hitting his head on an anvil, while Himizu laughs like a maniac) Ow! Ow, my head!
Yusuke Pacha: Okay, demon llama. Just take it easy. I mean you no harm.
Youko Kuzco: What are you talking about -- oh, wait. I know you. You're that whiny peasant!
Yusuke Pacha: WTF? Emperor Youko Kuzco?
Youko Kuzco: Cha. Who do you think you were talkin' to?
Yusuke Pacha: Uh...how did -- um...you don't...look like the emperor. (Makes hand gestures to emphasize the point, framing Youko Kuzco's face and such)
Youko Kuzco: What do you mean I don't look like the emperor?
Yusuke Pacha: Uh...oh...do this...(wiggles his fingers)
Youko Kuzco: What is this, some kind of little game you country folk like to (tries to do it and sees he has hooves) -- aah! It can't be! Aah! Aah! Aah! (looks in the water trough) My face! Aah! My beautiful, beautiful face!
Yusuke Pacha: Okay, okay, okay.
Youko Kuzco: I'm an ugly, stinky llama!
Yusuke Pacha: True… I mean…Wait, okay, your Majesty.
Youko Kuzco: Llama face! (Twitches spastically)
Yusuke Pacha: Shh! What happened?
Youko Kuzco: I'm tryin' to figure that out, okay? Ohh-ho! I can't remember. I can't remember anything. (Slaps self) Wait a minute. I remember you. I remember telling you that I was building my pool where your house was and then you got mad at me. Oh! And you turned me into a llama!
Yusuke Pacha: What the hell? No, I did not.
Youko Kuzco: Yes, and then you kidnapped me.
Yusuke Pacha: Why the hell would I kidnap a llama?
Youko Kuzco: I have no idea! You're the criminal mastermind, not me.
Yusuke Pacha: What?
Youko Kuzco: Hmm. (Looks thoughtful) You're right. That's giving you WAY too much credit. Okay, I have to get back to the palace. Genkai Yzma's got that "secret lab." I'll just snap my fingers and order her to change me back. Hey, you. No time to waste. Let's go. (Starts staggering off, but Yusuke Pacha just stands there watching) Hey, Tiny, I want to get out of this body. Wouldn't you? Now, let's go.
Yusuke Pacha: (Hesitates, but then nerves himself and starts talking) Build your summer home somewhere else.
Youko Kuzco: (Freezes, then turns and starts walking back towards Yusuke Pacha) You want to run that by me again?
Yusuke Pacha: I can't let you go back unless you change your mind and build your summer home somewhere else.
Youko Kuzco: Hmm, I got a little secret for you. Come here. No, closer. I DON'T MAKE DEALS WITH PEASANTS!
Yusuke Pacha: (Twitch) Then I guess I can't take you back.
Youko Kuzco: Fine, I don't need you. I can find my own way back.
Yusuke Pacha: I wouldn't recommend it. It's a little dangerous if you don't know the way.
Youko Kuzco: Nice try, pal.
Yusuke Pacha: No, really, I'm telling you, there are jaguars and snakes and quicksand.
Youko Kuzco: I'm not listening.
Yusuke Pacha: I'm not kidding. Listen, you cannot go in there.
Youko Kuzco: La la la. Oh, heh heh. Still not listening. (Struts off into the woods)
Yusuke Pacha: Aw, you... Fine. Fine. Go ahead! If there's no Kuzco, there's no Kuzcotopia. Takes care of my problem. Hmph.
Ryouko: To answer your questions, yes we gave Youko some of Chuu's alcohol. It actually shut him up and he actually filmed the scene, how sweet is that?
Saru: He was supposed to be unconscious, and Himizu wanted to do that, but we realized that there was no guarantee when he'd wake up, so we decided to just give him alcohol. It produces the same effects.
Himizu: (Looking rather listless) Yay… we filmed a scene…
Mitari: What's her problem?
Himizu: Caffeine… sugar… TV… (Sways on the spot)
Ryouko: She'll be fine… she's just going through withdrawal…
Himizu: WHY DIDN'T RYAN ASK CALLEIGH OUT! SHE WAS RIGHT THERE, IT WAS SO PERFECT, BUT YOU DIDN'T, YOU LOSER!
Saru: (Groans) What a nutcase…
Ryouko: It's okay Himizu, let's go watch Criminal Minds!
Himizu: But… that's the one where Reid gets seduced… (Whimpers)
Ryouko: Hm… I'll give you that…
Himizu: And then the stalker is going to kill him… T.T
Ryouko: I really don't think that will happen…
Himizu: I DON'T WANT REID TO DIE! T.T
Ryouko: Okay, time for therapy! (Knocks Himizu out with a mallet, then starts injecting caffeine into her veins) She'll be fine… (Drags Himizu off to broom closet to start television therapy)
Saru: Yes, videogames!
YYH Cast: … -.-
A/N: ... Yeah... Just to let you know, Reid didn't die, I watched that episode a couple days after I wrote that end bit. He saved the actress, disarmed the stalker, everyone was happy, including me cuz the stalker killed the stupid manager. Yay! Yeah... I love Criminal Minds! I love all crime shows! Except NCIS and CSI New York... I don't know why... anyways... I don't know when I'll update... I haven't even started the next chapter yet... X.X Read and Review! Ja ne!