A/N: Updating again, yay! I had a random urge to write this chapter yesterday, becuase I stayed home from school because I have a touch of the flu, and I was bored, so I wrote this. Yeah... Read it. Enjoy it. REVIEW IT, DAMNIT! Ooh, I've been forgetting to do this! Read Dra Gan's story, Ac's and Shotguns! I think he talks a little too much about cyborgs and machine thingies that I do not understand, but the plot is really good, and I'm in it! YAY! (Grin) That automatically makes it a good story. I'm kidding. It's really good, so go read it while you wait for me to update, okay? Okay!
Disclaimer: I do not own YYH, Hannibal Lecter, or the The Emperor's New Groove!
(YYH Cast is sitting around eating whatever food they can find surprisingly, it is quite good and trying to entertain themselves while they wait for the girls to emerge)
Kurama: … Well, at least Youko has gone into what appears to be permanent hiding…
Everyone: … (Giving him looks that say 'you're really reaching…')
Kurama: (Sigh) Just trying to get some conversation going…
(More silence)
Kurama: You know what, this is silly! (Stands up and marches towards the forbidden area.)
Yusuke: Dude, suicide!
Kurama: Whatever… hey, has anyone seen Hiei?
(Blank stares… no one has seen Hiei in a really long time)
Kurama: O.O (Remembering a certain joke played by Himizu and Saru during the last parody involving Ryouko and Hiei)
Everyone else: O.O (Also remembering)
(Mass stampede to the forbidden area!)
Saru: WHY WON'T YOU DIE, YOU DAMN MUTANT! (Glaring furiously at video games)
YYH Cast: Okey-dokey then… (Moves on quickly)
Mystery Voice 1: I'm having a friend over for dinner… Good-bye Clarice.
Mystery Voice 2: Dr. Lecter? Dr. Lecter!
(Cheesy music as credits play)
(A/N: I know this probably isn't how it goes, but I haven't seen that movie in almost a year, so my memory is kinda rusty, get over it!)
Hiei: That was actually quite good.
Ryouko: Told you you'd like it.
Himizu: This ending is way better than the book. In the book, he writes her a letter and she ends up in bed with that one dorky scientist who liked bugs.
Hiei: What? That's dumb.
Ryouko: No da. But the movie kicks ass. What shall we watch next?
Himizu: (Sarcastically) Well, we watched Red Dragon, which is the prequel to Silence of the Lambs… then we watched Silence of the Lambs… and sitting next to the TV is Hannibal, which is the sequel to Silence of the Lambs… I dunno, it seems like a no-brainer to me…
Ryouko: Shut up, baka!
(Himizu yelps, she has probably just been hit on the head with the nearest object to Ryouko's hand)
(Kurama shoves the door open. Ryouko and Hiei are lying at opposite ends of a couch and Himizu is reclining on a chair, glaring at Ryouko)
Kurama: Hi. Enjoying yourselves?
Himizu: But of course, Sir Lancelot. (Laughs at the look of Kurama's face.) Anyways, yes we are. Why? Are you asking me to get the hell off my lazy ass and film for a while?
Kurama: Uh, that would be the general idea…
Himizu: Don't say 'uh', it doesn't sound smart-ass enough for you.
Kurama: What's with all the swearing?
Ryouko: Because she wants a Mountain Dew and they're all out in the general area and she's too whacked to use her Authoress Powers to get them. She'll be fine.
Kurama: Right… can we film a couple scenes while you're out there…? Maybe?
Himizu: (Grumbles) Fine, sure… dunno why since I don't even know if anyone's reading this fic anymore since I'm only getting one or two reviews per chapter.
Kurama: If you're getting one or two reviews per chapter, doesn't that mean that you have one or two readers?
Himizu: (Glare) Shut up.
(In some very fake-looking jungle consisting of about four or five plastic palm trees)
Youko Kuzco: Scary jungle. Right. Ooh, a leaf. Ooh, it might attack me. Oh, it's a scary tree. I'm afraid. Ha ha. Please. Never find my way? I'm the emperor, and as such, I'm born with an innate sense of direction. Okay, where am I? Wha-(looks over at a fly trapped in a spider web.)
Karasu the Fly: (Yes, he is now magically a fly! Leave me alone!) Help me! Help me! Help me!
Youko Kuzco: Uuh… hell no.
Karasu the Fly: Too late. (Is killed by Bui the Spider)
Youko Kuzco: Okay, that was the freakiest thing I've ever seen. (The bushes rustle) Aah! (Bucky, AKA Risu Squirrely-chan, Himizu's pet squirrel, hops out.) Hmm. What do you want? (Bucky holds out an acorn) Oh, for me? (Bucky smiles) Why, I don't know what to say. (Throws the acorn and hits Bucky in the head.)
Bucky: Ow!
Youko Kuzco: Hit the road, Bucky. (he turns to leave and stumbles down into a jaguar nest.) Aah! Ow! Huh? Uh-oh. (Bucky shows up. She pulls out a balloon and blows it up. He then fashions the balloon into the shape of a llama. She then holds up a very sharp needle.) No, no. No, no, no, no. No, no. No, don't. (Bucky pops the balloon with a big bang. The jaguars sleep through it.) Ha! Oops… (That wakes them up. And the chase begins) Aah! No! Aah! Aah! (Finally he's cornered on the edge of a cliff.) You killer jaguars...whoa!
(Yusuke Pacha comes swinging down aiming for the jaguars.)
Yusuke Pacha: Aah-eee! Aah! Aah! Yee-aah! (Bad Tarzan imitations)
(The jaguars move out of the way and he swings right by. He then swings back around and grabs Youko Kuzco.)
Youko Kuzco: Aah!
Yusuke Pacha: Don't worry, your Highness. I gotcha. You're safe now.
(Suddenly the vine breaks and gets caught around a log. The vine swings them around until they are tied on opposite sides of the log.)
Youko Kuzco: (Looking VERY annoyed) Maybe I'm just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered kind of a step backwards, wouldn't you say?
Yusuke Pacha: No, no, no. It's -- it's okay. This -- this is all right. We can figure this out.
(Suddenly the log begins to break off.)
Youko Kuzco: -.- I hate you.
Yusuke Pacha: No!
Youko Kuzco: Yaah! (the log lands in the river) Aah! Ow! Whoo hoo hoo! (Coughing) Aah! Ow! I don't know about you (rolling eyes), but I'm getting all funned out.
Yusuke Pacha: Uh-oh.
Youko Kuzco: -.- Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.
Yusuke Pacha: Yep.
Youko Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Yusuke Pacha: Most likely.
Youko Kuzco: Bring it on. (shot of a huge cartoon waterfall as they go over it.) Boo-yah! Whoo! (They land in a kiddie swimming pool)
(Yusuke Pacha "struggles" to the surface and drags an unconscious Youko Kuzco out with him.)
Yusuke Pacha: Lead ass… Oh, right… lines… Your Highness. Your Highness, can you hear me? Oh, boy. Come on, breathe. Breathe! Ohh, why me? (He moves Youko Kuzco into the position for mouth-to-mouth resuscitation) Ooh! All right. (Youko Kuzco's tongue flops out and apparently Youko has really bad breath) Oh! (Holds nose, grimacing)
Youko Kuzco: (wakes up just as Yusuke Pacha leans over him) Aah!
Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco: Eeeww!
(Himizu, Ryouko, and Saru laugh their asses off)
(Later)
Yusuke Pacha: For the last time, it was not a kiss.
Youko Kuzco: Well, whatever you call it...it was disgusting. And if you would've done what I ordered you to do in the first place, we could've all been spared your little "kiss of life." But now that you're here, you will take me back to the palace. I'll have Genkai Yzma change me back, and then I'll start construction on Kuzcotopia. Oh, yeah.
Yusuke Pacha: Okay, now, look, I think we got off on the wrong foot here.
Youko Kuzco: Mm-hmm. (Not listening)
Yusuke Pacha: I just think if you really thought about it, you'd decide to build your home on a different hilltop.
Youko Kuzco: And… why would I do that?
Yusuke Pacha: Because...deep down, I think you'll realize that you're forcing an entire village out of their homes just for you.
Youko Kuzco: And that's...bad?
Yusuke Pacha: Well, yeah. Nobody's that heartless.
Youko Kuzco: Mmm. Now take me back.
Yusuke Pacha: What? Wait, wait. How can you be this way? All you care about is building your summer home and filling it with stuff for you.
Youko Kuzco: Uh, yeah. Doy. Me. Everyone else in the kingdom gets it. You're the only one that doesn't seem to be with the program, eh, Yusuke Pacha?
Yusuke Pacha: You know what? Someday, you're going to wind up all alone, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
Youko Kuzco: Thanks for that. I'll log that away. Now, for the final time, I order you to take me back to the palace.
Yusuke Pacha: Looks to me like you're stuck out here, because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back.
Youko Kuzco: (walking away) Because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back. Me, me, me. Moo, moo, moo. (Throws a rock that hits Yusuke Pacha in the head. Yusuke Pacha swings around to look at him.) Huh? What? I didn't do anything. I didn't -- Somebody's throwing stuff. What's going on?
Yusuke Pacha: He's never going to change his mind.
Youko Kuzco: Ohh, how am I ever going to get out of here?
(At the lovely fake-looking palace)
(Genkai Yzma is giving a speech to the masses.)
Genkai Yzma: And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince...taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his eighteenth birthday.
Hiei Kronk: Poor little guy… (Not at all convincingly…)
Himizu: CUT! Damn it Hiei, you're supposed to be pretending to be upset!
Hiei: I'm pretending to pretend?
Himizu: YES!
Hiei: How moronic.
Himizu: (Vein popping) Just do it, little man… or you'll have to accept the consequences… believe me… you won't like them… (Aura of blue fire appears around her and she suddenly looks very demonic)
Hiei: O.O Allrighty then…
Himizu: Good! (Smiles cheerfully) Places! Action!
(Still at the lovely fake-looking palace)
(Genkai Yzma resumes giving her speech to the masses.)
Genkai Yzma: And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince...taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his eighteenth birthday.
Hiei Kronk: Poor little guy. (Pretends to cry, but looks reasonably convincing, so Himizu lets it go)
Genkai Yzma: His legacy will live on in our hearts...
Hiei Kronk: He never had a chance.
Genkai Yzma: ...for all eternity. (pause) Well, he ain't gettin' any deader. Back to work.
(People throw mourning costumes aside and proceed to destroy every symbol of Youko Kuzco, replacing them with symbols of their new empress, Genkai Yzma)
Genkai Yzma: Hiei Kronk, darling, I must admit you had me worried when you mixed up those poisons, but now that Youko Kuzco is dead, all is forgiven.
Hiei Kronk: (Flinches at being called 'darling' by Genkai) Ah. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's...heh. He's dead, all right. Heh heh. I mean, you can't get much deader than he -- than he is right now. Unless, of course, we killed him again.
Genkai Yzma: I suppose. (Eyes narrowed)
Hiei Kronk: Hey, look, the royal dresser's here.
Genkai Yzma: Hiei Kronk...
Hiei Kronk: I should tell you right now I'm kind of hard to fit.
Genkai Yzma: Hiei Kronk... (Kicks royal dresser off a high plateau, which is actually only about a foot off the ground because Himizu hates spending money on scenery) Youko Kuzco is dead, right? Tell me Youko Kuzco's dead. I need to hear these words.
Hiei Kronk: Do you need to hear all those words exactly?
Genkai Yzma: He's still ALIVE?
Hiei Kronk: Well, he's not as dead as we would've hoped.
Genkai Yzma: Hiei Kronk...
Hiei Kronk: I just thought I'd give you the heads-up in case Youko Kuzco ever came back.
Genkai Yzma: He can't come back!
Hiei Kronk: Yeah. That would be kind of awkward -- especially after that lovely eulogy.
Genkai Yzma: You think? You and I are going out to find him. If he talks, we are through! Now let's move!
Himizu: CUT! Okay, that's enough for today! Must watch movies with Hannibal Lecter… (Walks zombie-style towards TV)
Ryouko: She's madly in love with him.
Himizu: I AM NOT! God, why would I be in love with a guy who would probably turn around and eat me as soon as my back was turned? I'd much rather keep my ultra-sexy non-cannibalistic Canadian hockey player.
Ryouko: That description fits so many people though…
Himizu: Silence, fool. You know I only mean one person. But… HOCKEY SEASON IS OVER! (Cries)
Ryouko: Go watch the Stanley Cup playoffs…
Himizu: Maybe I can go throw stuff at Detroit and laugh at them when they lose… (Evil smile) Oh, wait, they already lost. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ryouko: (Twitch) Let's just go watch the movies…
Himizu: Yay! Movie time! (Skips to forbidden area with many cases of Mountain Dew, several tubs of popcorn, and lots of cookies)
A/N: Hope you liked. Read and Review! Ja ne!