Stargate Atlantis: Even in the Distance
by Reyclou

Chapter Five: Aching Heart's Insistence

The sea breeze tugged playfully at Elizabeth's curls, the folds of her light summer sundress rippling through the air. An endless ocean and a cloudless sky stretched out before her, a white beach beneath her. She dug her feet into soft, warm sands, feeling it gently cuddle her soft skin. She lifted her face toward the warm sun, trying to remember the last time she had been to the Mainland. Jinto's union ceremony had swept her out of Atlantis, what was it—two, three years ago? Sighing in slight regret, she admitted it leaned closer to three. Had she really let that much time slip away from her? It seemed only yesterday that the last Wraith alliance had dissolved into the abyss, taking with it the dreadful warships and all the heartache that had tormented her people for the last decade. She could not begin to comprehend the relief the Athosians felt at the Wraith's withdrawal—Teyla's kind had lived under the threat of the Wraith for as long as they or any of their ancestors could remember. She still could not begin to comprehend the fear, the anger, the sorrow they had endured from the cradle. With the Wraith gone, a revelation of freedom swept that the galaxy like a windstorm.

Two shrill, excited screams sounded from a distance. Elizabeth's head turned and she spotted two small forms barreling toward her from atop a sandy dune. Well, Pegasus had peace, she grinned to herself as two young children—a boy and a girl—ran toward her on unstable feet, both giggling uncontrollably. Each had their mother's dark curls, though the little girl's hair fell to her shoulders, whereas her brother's close-cropped locks stuck out in a swirl of chaos. Two sets of green eyes brightened as the small bodies descended on her, feet kicking up sun-warmed sand. Elizabeth knelt and accepted them into her arms, giving them each a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. They both squirmed and giggled at her embrace, but neither pulled away. She tickled their bellies until each screeched with joy.

Laughing, she caught sight of another form. A woman trailed the young children, sliding in a half-fall down the windswept hill of sand. Sunlight danced off golden strands as the wind caught her long blonde hair. Crystal blue eyes laughed as she regained her footing. If she felt embarrassment at her almost-tumble, she did not show it. She merely brushed a hand over her flowing white sundress and strode toward the giggling threesome.

Anne was an uncannily beautiful woman—flawless, even. The sun could not touch her porcelain skin, no matter how long she stood beneath its presence. Instead, her perfect face seemed to radiate with a light all of its own. She had an odd connection with the children, too. Little Jason, who they called Jay-Jay, had taken to her almost immediately, like a second mother. Whatever Anne said, the children did without question—a thought inconceivable to Elizabeth's frazzled maternal nerves. Elizabeth had grown a little jealous until she had the stroke of genius that inspired her to hire the woman as the children's nanny. She had never once regretted the decision. She, too, had developed and admiration for the woman—intelligent, charismatic, grace incarnate, Anne seemed everything Elizabeth hoped to be and then some.

Elizabeth ran a hand through ruffled brown spikes. "And what have my little rascals been up to all day?" giggled the dark haired woman, love bubbling in her voice.

Jay-Jay plunked himself down before her, picking up handfuls of dry sand and letting them sift through his chubby fingers. Being the older of the two, he felt it his responsibility to report the day's events. His sister busied herself by picking out tiny stones in the sand, neatly setting them in a proud pile. "Daddy told us about the time Uncle Rodney blowed up the whole solar system," he blurted, watching as the sand stole away in sweeping drifts. "And about the time Uncle Rodney made a spaceship explode out of a really big volcano and the time he shotted Uncle Rodney in the leg but Uncle Rodney didn't get hurted."

Elizabeth's lips curled into a smile at the boy's explanation. "He told you all that did he?" she asked with a raised brow. She smirked at the blue-eyed nanny, who smiled knowingly. Nothing transfixed the children more than stories of Rodney McKay's death-defying exploits, regardless of their accuracy.

Jay-Jay nodded excitedly. "He said Uncle Rodney is kinda like See-Threepio from Star Wars—you know, the big gold robot guy with the guts hanging out—but I think Uncle Rodney's head is way more shinier. Except in the scene where Princess Leia gives everyone awards and stuff. But that's the only time." Next to him, the little girl dug up a small stick of smooth, sea-beaten driftwood about the size of her hand. Picking up the light treasure, she stared at it for a moment before a look of recognition dawned in her eyes. Breathing in a deep, excited breath, she wound her arm back and tossed the stick out over the ocean waves. It sailed through the air for a time before plopping into the ocean with a soft splash. "Jump-jump go fly-fly!" she shouted victoriously and Elizabeth had to bite back a laugh.

Anne, too, stifled a giggle before placing soft hands on tiny backs. With a knowing look to Elizabeth, Anne knelt down to their eye level. "Hey, how about we go over to the water and collect some pretty sea shells for Mommy?" she offered with a child-like sense of wonder. "Would you two like that?"

The two children smiled and nodded wildly. Elizabeth smiled at Anne thankfully as the two cheered and ran off to the waterside, scrambling over each other as each seemed to spot the same shell just as the other went to grab it. Standing, the older woman turned to the younger. "Where is he?" she asked the young blonde.

"In his office, where else?" Anne winked before skipping off after the children. The wind again caught her hair and Anne became a swirl of glimmering gold and white against eternal azure.

"Where else," Elizabeth snickered, turning away. Her feet left deep pockets in the sand as she made her way down the shoreline. She had not gone terribly far before she came upon a low-slung hammock sitting just out of the tide's reach. It was hung high enough to give one proper swinging clearance, but still low enough to use the sand as the world's perfect cup holder. Beside the hammock sat a small ice chest, filled to the brim with ice cold beer, no doubt.

Elizabeth stuck tongue firmly in check as she approached the still form slumped across the tough netting. A white, half-buttoned shirt and light cargos covered his form, leaving tan arms and legs exposed to the warm sunlight. The breeze brushed through the dark chaos of his tousled hair. A book sat open on his firm chest, though he made no effort to read it—the steady rise and fall of his chest confessed that John Sheppard was fast asleep. Elizabeth slowly crept up to him, kneeling at his side as she slyly slipped the book out of his weak grasp. He offered no resistance. Curious, she flipped the book closed to read the title, wondering what great master of literature had so captured the man's attention.

The Essential Calvin and Hobbs stared back at her.

The woman smiled again and lightly tossed the book aside, returning her attention to the sleeping form before her. She tentatively combed long fingers through his hair, debating what mischief filled his dreams. Elizabeth smiled and pressed soft lips to his forehead. After a time, dark lashes parted ever-so-slightly and bright hazel peeked out through weary slits.

"Hey there, Sleepy," she teased, leaning into him.

"Hey there, Beautiful," he whispered softly, his voice little more than a dull rumble. Elizabeth reddened slightly as his hand found her curls, twirling them between his fingers. She nestled into him, letting her head rest on his shoulder. A warm, masculine scent filled her senses, a thrilling smell of strength and safety mixed with the salt of the sea air. She felt wholly complete resting there, listening as the sound of the tide mingled with his breaths. The steady movements of his chest matched seamlessly with the whisper of the ocean.

Something cold twitched deep with Elizabeth's gut—or was it her soul? Distracted, she pushed it away as a strong hand took her by the chin. John stroked her cheek, guiding her mouth toward his. She closed her eyes as their lips met, but it was not at all what she expected. Elizabeth took a sharp breath as her lips met frost. His skin, not firm warmth but hardened ice, chilled her to the core. He stole her breath, draining away all warmth, all joy. Shivers consumed her as he pulled her deeper and deeper into the frozen kiss.

oOo

Thoughts of beach and ocean slipped from her mind as a sharp call lifted Elizabeth from her fitful sleep. She sat up in bed, panting raggedly as blurry images of her dream raced through her mind. Elizabeth's hands went to her lips as John's sleeping face haunted her mind. How dare she dream of such things, she scolded herself. I must be going nuts, she thought to herself. John was a friend, nothing more. It certainly doesn't help to think about him like that—not now!

The same masculine scent drifted into her senses once again. Surprised and slightly shaken, Elizabeth eyed her unfamiliar surroundings. She sat in a bed, but the bed was not her own, nor was the room her own. She kicked a dark comforter from her legs in half panic before her eyes settled on the scraps of photos pasted around the Lantean walls—now bathed in the bright sunlight of morning. On the nightstand beside her, a little boy grinned mischievously. In a flood of dim acknowledgement, it all came back to her. Elizabeth groaned inwardly, flopping back on the pillows.

She had fallen asleep in John's bed, her radio still fastened to her ear.

Elizabeth brushed sands from her eyes, willing the cold, fearful feeling the nightmare away from her waking mind. A chirp in her ear alerted her to the tiny communication device. "Dr. Weir, this is Lorne," a low voice called.

She raised a shaky hand to her ear, unsure which terrified her more—her dreaming world with John, or the waking world without him. "Yes, Major, I hear you. What's the problem?" Elizabeth tried to sound alert, lucid, and under control.

"We've got a couple, actually," Lorne responded, completely ignorant of the fact Elizabeth sat in his commanding officer's bedroom—worse yet, his bed—dreaming of tender kisses like some damned schoolgirl. "We had an incident in the Gate Room earlier this morning. A team returned home ahead of schedule, but without their GDOs. We had no way of verifying their identity, so I ordered that the shield remain up," Major Lorne had a way of sounding absolutely at ease, if not completely bored, with whatever he had to say. He could tell her the city crumbled away in a fiery storm of devastation while she slept and still sound like he merely recited last week's lotto numbers. Elizabeth found it slightly unsettling on some level—she took few things lightly concerning her city—and yet it felt oddly reassuring. It leant him the aura of complete control, even in the darkest—or most embarrassing—of situations.

Her eyes flew open, despite the stiff-skinned feeling of slumber that lingered over her features. "My god, who did we lose?"

"That's the thing, ma'am," Lorne replied in that casual verbal swagger. "The shield lowered itself."

She choked back her shock. "It did what?"

"Just what I said, ma'am," he repeated. "The controls took over and lowered the shield, but that's not all. Zelenka's team just reported another anomaly," Elizabeth listened closely, unsure if she had truly wakened from the dream world. "They were testing a Jumper engine they rebuilt from salvaged vessels. They'd only intended to initiate the system, but there was a miscalculation somewhere and the entire engine system went critical."

Elizabeth was on her feet, fervently brushing wrinkles from her outfit, praying no one would notice her new fragrance until she could get back to her own quarters and change—if she could get back at all. "Was anyone hurt?"

"Well, no—nothing serious, at least—but that's where the odd part comes in," Lorne paused for emphasis. "Zelenka's team couldn't shut down the system directly. The whole jumper should have exploded. Instead, it fizzled out just before it reached overload."

"You sound disappointed, Major."

Lorne seemed to shrug verbally. "I love a good explosion as much as the next guy, ma'am, but that's not my point. They found a short out that severed the power to the engine. If it hadn't taken that precise moment to blow, we would have lost the Jumper bay."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "What are you saying, Major?"

"There's something going on here," Lorne replied. "Something in the circuitry, something in the city programming, I don't know. All I do know is that this feels too convenient."

"Rodney knows this city better than anyone," she offered, silently cursing the colonel for lack of a full length mirror. She'd just have to take the side halls back to her quarters and pray no one had staked out her room, ready to ambush her the moment she awoke.

"That's the thing, ma'am. No one has seen Dr. McKay since he stormed out of the science lab yesterday," Lorne informed her. "And we've checked everywhere." Elizabeth opened her mouth to suggest checking the morgue before realizing that would likely encourage inquires into her whereabouts after her little meeting with Carson. She kept silent. Surely the nurse on duty would have checked the morgue since her visit.

"Has anyone considered the possibility that he might be the source of these anomalies?" she questioned. "We've had instances before of people manipulating central controls through remote terminals."

Lorne did not miss a beat. "I've already thought about that, Doctor. It's a definite possibility. I figure the easiest way to answer that question would be to ask McKay himself, but that involves finding him first. We've already swept the main areas—he's not in his quarters, his lab, or any of his usual stations—though we have picked up some unusual energy readings coming from deep within one of the piers. Some members of the science team think he might have gone into a damaged section of the city just to—well—I believe the term was 'Get the Hell away from everyone.' I've got Teyla and Ronon with me, we were about to go check it out."

Elizabeth frowned as she turned for the door. "I thought I told those two to take some personal time."

Teyla's smooth voice flooded the radio. "Dr. McKay is our friend too, Dr. Weir," she defended. "While he may wish to be alone at this time, it is best he not be so far removed from the rest of the expedition."

"Understood, Teyla," Elizabeth conceded softly. Rodney did have a solitary streak in him, but they were still too new to the city to be running about on their own, least of all in their depressed states. "Just be careful."

Major Lorne and the Athosian leader took their leave, calling quick departures over the radio. Elizabeth straightened herself one last time before she held a hand toward the lighted panel that served as both the room's light switch and door knob. She hesitated as she went to wave a hand over the panel. How had she gone so long without being disturbed? She did not remember sealing the room, even to steal a few private moments for herself. Surely others should have come by, others wishing to pay silent respects. She would never wish to deny anyone that small thing. Curious, she knelt before the glowing panel. She did not pretend to know a fraction of what Rodney or Radek knew about the Ancient technology, however she had, over a time, learned to recognize subtle shifts in the light display—what it meant when one light lit instead of another after someone disappeared behind a door. Without a tech on hand, she couldn't be sure, but it looked to Elizabeth like John's room had been locked from the inside.