Please Don't Go Away
"Roy! I need to speak with…"
There was a moment of silence as a myriad of eyes fell upon the one who had interrupted the conference.
"Lilina, can't you see I'm in an important meeting? We fight the last of Bern's troops tomorrow, and your interruptions aren't increasing our chances of success." Roy seemed deeply upset and irritated.
"I…I'm sorry." And with that, Lilina left the tent.
The war with Bern seemed like it would last a lifetime. Even though Zephiel, the king of Bern, was gone, they were still fighting. Even though Bern had surrendered, their army continued to march towards the enemy. Even though there were celebrations all around the continent, they had yet to enjoy theirs.
Why did this war have to happen in the first place? Lilina thought as she sat on a large stone near a quiet ravine by the camp. It was only yesterday when Zephiel fell. She thought for sure that everything would be over, that the day when their journey would end would arrive. That she would return to Ostia and rebuild it, with Roy by her side. But that was just a dream now. She knew that nothing would ever be the same again…not even Roy, the one person she thought would come out of this conflict untouched.
She was beginning to sink into a state of nostalgia when a nearby splash in the ravine stopped the process. Turning to her right, Lilina saw a group of three boys conversing with each other farther down the stream. It was late in the evening, but she managed to recognize them as the orphans from Araphen. She quickly turned away so they wouldn't notice her eavesdropping.
"It's not like your bad attitude is any better, Rei!" shouted Chad.
"What did you say?" replied Rei.
"Guys! Stop it!" pleaded Lugh.
"Lugh, back off! This is between me and your conceited brother!" Chad had his fists clenched and was ready to pummel Rei any second.
"Chad, enough! Do you honestly think you can beat a master of the dark arts? Do you think your ill thievery will carry you that far?" Rei was also preparing himself for battle.
"It's what kept us all fed! I don't remember you doing anything to help out the little ones! As a matter of fact, all you did was take off!"
Lugh was on the verge of tears when he stepped in between to prevent his brother and his friend from knocking each other unconscious.
"Guys…you have to stop. We can't let this war get to us. That's what's happening right now," said Lugh. A look of sadness overcame Chad as he lay down his fists. Rei closed his book.
"This isn't what Father would have wanted," continued Lugh, "He taught us to care for one another, and to watch over each other, not fight. The war's getting to us. It has ever since…" He began to weep. "Ever since Bern killed Father. We can't let it take over us. That's not what Father would have wanted… I know it's hard, but we can do it. We have to. The little ones are counting on us. Once this war is over, we'll go pick them up. We'll make a new orphanage, one even better than our old one… But we can't give in. We can't let this war consume us… Please, Rei. Chad. Please don't go away."
It was well after midnight when Lilina finally fell asleep.
The next morning came too soon. Everybody, including Lilina, was up and ready for the battle that was to come despite their persisting weariness from a few days ago. Lilina made sure she had her Elfire spell book ready along with a vulnerary for injuries she might encounter. She wasn't nervous; she stopped being nervous ever since Roy put her in the back lines, claiming that the front was too dangerous for her. It didn't make sense at all, considering she was one of the strongest magic users in the entire army. He probably did it so she wouldn't be in his way anymore. She felt like she was nothing more than a fading image in his eyes, slowly being replaced by another. Probably that sniveling Guinivere, she thought. They were always talking with each other. Lilina became drenched with sorrow and felt the urge to just turn around and run, not caring where that path may lead.
She was shocked to find an infantry of Bern soldiers about twenty feet behind her as she was contemplating her decision. She quickly surveyed her surroundings to find any other soldiers, and, sure enough, she detected an army hiding in a nearby forest along with wyvern riders circling overhead. "It's an ambush!" she heard someone cry. What was worse was the fact that she had fallen far behind the main army while she was ruminating. Here she was: defenseless Lilina all by herself surrounded by the remains of the strongest army on Elibe.
She then looked to the sky as if there were an answer in there for her, and, for a quick second, she thought she saw her father in the clouds. She was suddenly encountered with a downpour of memories from a time long gone. She saw her mother playing with her hair, followed by a scene depicting her lifeless body in bed. She remembered the first time Roy came to Ostia those many years ago, their first meeting. She saw the time Roy came to study in Ostia about a year ago, and the worried look he had on his face when he told her that something had happened in Pherae and that he had to leave. She saw Roy rescuing her from the Ostian rebels and remembered the grave news he delivered to her concerning her father. She remembered how he had tried to comfort her as she tried desperately to hold back her uncontrollable tears. He even tried to hold her.
She suddenly found herself setting the nearby forest ablaze, ignoring the arrow that was implanted in her left side and the tears streaming down her face. She knew she couldn't win, but she couldn't prevent herself from setting every Bern soldier on fire. All around her were the wild flames she created, slowly fading away as her vision began to fail her. Her strength was drastically waning as she finally collapsed and fell to the ground. For a moment, she thought she heard Roy call her name, but perhaps that was just another memory.
"She'll be just fine. It's a good thing you got her to me in time. The result might have been quite different had you done otherwise."
---
"Thank you, Ellen. Um, if you could…"
"Of course. I understand." The brown-haired cleric smiled as she left Roy.
"Lilina? Can you hear me?" Roy asked to what seemed like a lifeless body.
A few moments passed before he tried again. "Lilina…I'm sorry. This is all my fault… I thought you would be safer in the back. I… Oh, what have I done?"
Time seemed frozen in place. There were no human voices or animal noises to break the deafening silence. It seemed as though they were the only two people on Elibe, and that the war was being fought on some other, faraway planet.
After what seemed like an eon, Lilina began to stir. She found Roy lying against a nearby tree, and as she began to lift herself, he began to stir as well.
"Lilina, don't move. Ellen said you shouldn't move for a day or two…" he said.
"What…What happened?" Lilina asked.
"You were hit with an arrow…I found you way behind our army. What were you doing? Why were you so far behind?" Roy's voice began to grow louder.
"I…I'm sorry. I…" Lilina could not make eye contact with Roy and therefore looked down at her hands as she mumbled her words. She could feel tears swell up in her eyes as she looked away.
"No, Lilina, I'm sorry. You should have been by me, up in the front, where I could have kept an eye on you. It was a stupid mistake…" This startled Lilina, so she decided to risk looking up. "Funny. After all this time, it seems I still have a lot to learn about battle strategy," he continued, trying a smile, but not accomplishing one.
After some time passed, Lilina tried bringing up a conversation, hoping that this would break the ice that was forming between them ever since the war began. "What about the others? Where is everyone?" she said.
"They're fighting the last of the three Dragon Lords, Brenya, right now," he replied, "I think she has a Bolting. I thought I saw a lightning bolt strike the ground off in the distance. I hope no one was hurt…"
"Shouldn't you be with everyone? You are the commander, after all…"
"No, I think there's someone who needs me a lot more than they do. I'm pretty sure I can live with being disliked by a few people I normally don't talk to or even know. I don't think I can live with my best friend hating me."
"You mean you haven't forgotten?"
Roy finally managed a smile as he looked towards her. "No, Lilina. I haven't forgotten. I'll never forget."