A/N: Woohoo, here it is! The second to last chapter! Not I gotta think of something really fun to do at the end. If you reviewers have any ideas, send 'em in! I hope to finish this fic by the end of the week... definitely before August 12 because that's when Ryouko's coming! (Squeals with joy) Oh, it's gonna be great, but fics will be on hold at that point, so I better do something with Evil Overlord List before then. (Sigh) I'll get on it, don't worry!
Himizu: (Sitting cross-legged in a corner, meditating) Oooommmm… Oooommmmm…
Saru: This is probably a really stupid question, but what is she doing?
Ryouko: Meditating…
Saru: Why?
Ryouko: (Points at Hiei)
Hiei: (Sharpening katana)
Saru: I see… and how is meditating going to help her?
Ryouko: I have no idea. I asked her, but she just kept 'ooming' and totally ignored me, so I left.
Saru: Interesting.
(A couple hours later…)
(Hiei darted behind a pillar. Then he darted behind another. Then behind a table. Etc etc. Each time he moved, he got progressively closer to Himizu. Finally, he darted right up to her and lifted his katana to strike, but…)
Himizu: Caught you! (Eyes open, she points three fingers at Hiei, each one perfectly aligned with one of his eyes.)
Hiei: … WTF?
Himizu: Did you really think I was meditating to find spiritual peace or balance or whatever?
Hiei: Good point…
Himizu: Shows how much you know! I already have perfect balance. (Stands on one leg to prove it)
Hiei: Uh huh…
Ryouko: Mitari!
Mitari: What?
(Ryouko shoves him behind Himizu, because she was stupid and came out of her corner to stand on one foot to show off her perfect balance. Then she pokes Himizu's shoulder, making her topple over and Mitari, being a gentleman, catches her)
Himizu: Yipe! (Realizes she just fell into Mitari's arms) Thanks Mitari.
Mitari: Uh… you're welcome.
Himizu: Okay, let's film!
(In Genkai Yzma's Chambers)
(Youko Kuzco walks in sopping wet with a crocodile clamped onto his tail. He kicks the croc and it runs away.)
Youko Kuzco: Okay, why does she even have that lever?
Random Voice: Please remain seated and keep your arms and legs in at all times.
Youko Kuzco and Yusuke Pacha: Huh? AHHH!
(In the Secret Lab)
Yusuke Pacha: What does it look like?
Youko Kuzco: I don't know. Just keep looking.
(Yusuke Pacha opens a giant cupboard where all the vials are.)
Yusuke Pacha: Over here! It has to be one of these. Lions, tigers, bears... (There is an empty space showing a human)
Genkai Yzma: Oh, my. Looking for this? (Holds up a vial)
Youko Kuzco: No! It can't be! How did you get back here before us?
Genkai Yzma: (Pause) Uh...how did we, Hiei Kronk?
Hiei Kronk: Well, you got me. (From out of nowhere he pulls down a map that shows them falling into the river after the lightening strike) By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.
Genkai Yzma: Oh, well, back to business.
Youko Kuzco: Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been, but, Genkai Yzma, do you really want to kill me?
Genkai Yzma: Just think of it as you're being let go, that your life's going in a different direction, that your body's part of a permanent outplacement.
Hiei Kronk: Hey, that's kind of like what he said to you when you got fired.
Genkai Yzma: I know. It's called a cruel irony… like my dependence on you.
Youko Kuzco: I can't believe this is happening!
Genkai Yzma: Then I bet you weren't expecting this! (Begins to lift up her dress)
Yusuke Pacha: No!
Youko Kuzco: Aah!
Genkai Yzma: (Reveals a knife in her garter) Aha!
Youko Kuzco: Oh, okay.
Genkai Yzma: Ha ha! (To Hiei Kronk as she tosses him the knife) Finish them off!
Shoulder Devil: Hey, you're not backing down now, are you, little guy?
Hiei Kronk: Uh, where's the other guy? (The shoulder angel shows up and he's having his hair done. He's sitting in a hair dryer like in a beauty salon.)Yo!
Shoulder Angel: (Hops up) Sorry I'm late. So, what'd I miss?
Hiei Kronk: Well, Genkai Yzma just tossed me this knife and asked me to, you know, take them out. Then this guy popped up and we waited for you, and quite honestly…
(Genkai Yzma turns to look at Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco who shrug in confusion. To them, it looks like Hiei Kronk is talking to himself. She turns back to Hiei Kronk.)
Genkai Yzma: Hiei Kronk! Why did I think you could do this? This one simple thing. It's like I'm talking to a monkey.
Shoulder Angel: Whoa now.
Genkai Yzma: A really short, stupid monkey named Hiei Kronk!
Shoulder Devil: Ouch.
Genkai Yzma: And do you want to know something else? I've never liked your spinach puffs. Never!
(Hiei Kronk whimpers and tears up, the Shoulder Angel pats him comfortingly while the Shoulder Devil grips his pitchfork and snarls menacingly)
Shoulder Devil: That's it. She's going down.
Shoulder Angel: Now, now, remember, guys. From above, the wicked shall receive their just reward.
(They all look up and see the chandelier hanging right above Genkai Yzma. They are all bathed in light.)
Hiei Kronk, Shoulder Angel, and Shoulder Devil: That'll work.
(Hiei Kronk cuts the rope but Genkai Yzma is skinny enough to fit right through the middle of the chandelier.)
Hiei Kronk: Strange. That usually works.
Genkai Yzma: And so does this! (Pulls a lever)
Hiei Kronk: Ah. Should have seen that coming. (Falls through the trapdoor) Whoa!
(Shoulder Angel and Shoulder Devil cling to each other in fear, and they fall too)
Genkai Yzma: Aah! Give me that vial! (Jumps on Yusuke Pacha and wrenches the vial out of his grasp, knocking it to the floor)
Yusuke Pacha: Oof!
Genkai Yzma: Ah! Ha ha! Aah! (Tips over the shelves with the vials, now there are hundreds of them on the floor.) Oops. Clumsy me. Which one? Which one? (Pulls a lever as Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco search for the vial.) Better hurry. I'm expecting company. (The guards arrive) Kill them! They murdered the emperor!
Youko Kuzco: No, wait! I'm the emperor! It's me… Youko Kuzco! They're not listening to me!
Yusuke Pacha: Just take 'em all!
Soldiers: Yaah!
(Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco throw some vials, and the guards get changed into various animals.)
Genkai Yzma: Get them!
Soldier Kuwabara: Hey, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?
Genkai Yzma: You're excused. Anyone else? (Kuwabara the Cow dances off screen happily)
Soldiers who are now Animals: No, we're good.
Genkai Yzma: Get them!
Yusuke Pacha: We've gotta change you back. Try this one.
(Youko Kuzco gets turned into a turtle.)
Youko Kuzco: Uh, Yusuke Pacha? A little help! (He's going really slowly since he was turned into a turtle, which isn't exactly good since he's supposed to be running from guards)
Yusuke Pacha: Come on! Come on!
(The guards are closing in.)
Youko Kuzco: Aah!
Yusuke Pacha: Oh, please be something with wings.
(Youko Kuzco turns into a bird and flies over the interior water tank.)
Youko Kuzco: Yeah! We're flyin'! (It turns out he's a small bird, like the size of a canary.) Uh-oh! (They fall onto a bridge) We're not getting anywhere with you picking the vials. I'm picking the next one!
Yusuke Pacha: Fine by me!
Youko Kuzco: Give me that one! (Changes into a whale) Don't you say a word. Aah!
Yusuke Pacha: Aah!
(The bridge breaks under Youko Kuzco's weight and they fall into the water below)
Genkai Yzma: Quick! Drain the canals!
Yusuke Pacha: Open up! (Gives Youko Kuzco another vial)
Youko Kuzco: Yay! I'm a llama again! Wait... -.-
Youko Kuzco and Yusuke Pacha: Aah! (Being sucked down the drain)
Genkai Yzma: There they go! After them!
Soldier Jin (Who by the way, is a lizard): Come on, men! Nobody lives forever! Charge!
Soldiers who are now Animals: Aah! (They fall out the drain, but they also continue falling down the cliff the palace is built on (actually into a small wading pool that Himizu set up) while Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco have managed to climb up the front of the palace)
Genkai Yzma: Grr! Aah!
Youko Kuzco: Okay, only two left. It's gotta be one of these. No!
(Genkai Yzma attacks… there is lots of evil laughter… the smoke clears…)
Genkai Yzma: Ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha! Meow. (She is now a tiny and very cute kitten)
Youko Kuzco: I'll take that. (Takes the human vial from her.)
Yusuke Pacha: This is the one. This'll change you back to a human.
Youko Kuzco: (Genkai Yzma launches herself at him and he drops the vial.) Ow! Hey, get her off!
Yusuke Pacha: Whoa!
Youko Kuzco: Get her off me! Aah! Ow!
Yusuke Pacha: Drink the potion!
Youko Kuzco: Okay, okay! Aah! Where did it go? Where is it?
Himizu: CUT!
Cast: What?
Himizu: This'll just take a second. (She leads Genkai off screen.)
(A few minutes later, filming resumes)
Genkai Yzma: (Holding the vial) Looking for this? (She sounds like she's been sucking helium) Is that my voice? Is that my voice? Oh, well.
(Off Screen:
Ryouko: Geeze, I hope that lasts…
Saru: No kidding… that was how many balloons?
Himizu: Five… I counted.)
Youko Kuzco: No! Don't drop it!
Genkai Yzma: I'm not going to drop it, you fool! I'm going to drink it! And once I turn back into my beautiful self, (Primps) I'm going to kill you! Ha ha ha!
Youko Kuzco: Aah!
(Genkai Yzma goes to open the vial, but she can't get the stopper out. She ends up falling over the edge down the cliff.)
Genkai Yzma: Aah! Uh-oh. Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Yusuke Pacha: (Falls over the edge, but manages to hang on my his fingertips.) Uhh! Whoa! Uhh! Oh-oh-oh! Youko Kuzco!
Youko Kuzco: Be right there! Give me a minute! (Tries to reach the vial before it falls too) Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
Yusuke Pacha: Youko Kuzco! (Youko Kuzco catches him just before he falls) Whoa! Youko Kuzco! Aah! Oh. The vial!
Genkai Yzma: Aah!
(At the Front Gate)
Soldier Kurama: For the last time, we did not order a giant trampoline.
Trampoline Guy Kuwabara: You know, pal, you could've told me that before I set it up.
Genkai Yzma: Aah! Aah! (Hits the trampoline and goes back up) Uhh… Huh? (Catches vial) Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha! Hoo hoo hee hee ha ha ha… (Hits her head, loses vial, and falls over stunned)
Yusuke Pacha: The vial! You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
(Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco link arms like they did at the cliff and begin to climb up to the vial, but Genkai Yzma gets there first.)
Genkai Yzma: Ah ha ha ha ha! I win.
(Suddenly a trick door slams open and smashes her against the wall.)
Hiei Kronk: Whoa.
Yusuke Pacha: (Catches the vial) Got it!
Hiei Kronk: What are the odds of that trapdoor leading me out here?
Youko Kuzco and Yusuke Pacha: Yeah! (Hug each other) Uhh. (Realize what they were doing and are instantly five feet apart)
Yusuke Pacha: Here, uh, let me get this for you. (Pulls out the cork and hands it to Youko Kuzco)
Youko Kuzco: Well, see ya on the other side. (Drinks)
Himizu: Cut! Wow… Only one more scene.
Ryouko: I still say you could have finished this a couple months ago if you'd applied yourself.
Himizu: Meh meh meh. Blah. It's almost done at any rate, and I still have some wonderful loyal readers and reviewers.
Saru: Are you gonna have another party?
Himizu: I thought about it, but I decided not to because when YYH and the Holy Grail was deleted, one of the reasons listed was "reviewer interaction" which I figured meant the party… although why my reviewers shouldn't interact is beyond my comprehension, but there you are. So I'll just have to come up with something extra fun for us to do as compensation. How about if we make Ryouko into a piñata?
Ryouko: (Snarls) Try it and die!
Himizu: Okay. (Innocent smile, but ruins the affect by glancing pointedly at rope and paint cans sitting nearby)
Ryouko: … (Pulls out a machine gun and a katana and solemnly vows not to fall asleep until this parody is done)
A/N: What should I do for my last chapter? Send some ideas! Send some reviews telling me what a phenomenal/average/sucky job I'm doing! Read the fics Ryouko and I wroteon ourother profile!Read Dra Gan's fics cuz they're great and I'm in them! Do at leastone of thesethings and you get a cookie!Ja mata ne!