Author's Note: Now for Inuyasha's feelings. . . please read n' review, all suggestions welcome as always. Thanks!
Disclaimer: Insert denial of Inuyasha ownership here.
Night was falling in Kaede's village. Inuyasha stared up at the darkening sky from the roof of the hut, watching the fading embers of the sun sink into the western horizon. He had spent much of the day in the forest, checking to see that there were no threats on the borders of the village. Without Kagome around, he had to do something to pass the time. The others had spent the day checking supplies, making repairs to weapons, and getting some needed rest. He heard them talking quietly below him, but he didn't feel much like conversation at the moment.
"Inuyasha, Kaede has some stew prepared, would you like some?" Sango asked from below. "Nah, you guys can have it, I'm not that hungry." he replied. "Hah, more for me!" Shippo called happily. He thought about bonking him on the head later for that one. "Are you sure?" Miroku asked, "I may take what Shippo leaves behind. I've had quite a day today.""Quite a day of being a lecherous monk as usual;" Sango fumed. "you must have asked a dozen girls to bear your child." Miroku thought he saw flames rising behind her. "Now, now Sango, no need to get angry." Miroku stated nervously, followed by a resounding slap. "Same thing every day" Inuyasha thought to himself. He turned and looked back at the sky, where the night's first stars were beginning to shine. He would probably never tell anyone else, but he did enjoy looking at the night sky at times.
He thought of Kagome then. Once again, they had parted on a bad note. He hoped she would be in a better mood when he went to get her the next day. It wasn't that he was angry about her spending time at home, it was just . . . "If she's here with me, I know she's safe." he thought. Not that there was much in her world that seemed to pose much of a threat, but you could never be too sure. Also, he didn't speak with the others as much as he did Kagome. "I guess I do feel closest to her, after all it did start out with only the two of us." His mind wandered back to the days when they had first met. It was she that had freed him from Kikyo's spell. Kikyo. He felt the guilt rising in him again. Perhaps that was why he was always so worried about Kagome's safety. He had a bad track record of losing the people close to him while he was helpless to stop it. First his mother, then Kikyo. She had given her life for him. He couldn't let Kagome do the same, no matter what.
The thought of losing Kagome turned his stomach. He remembered how he had felt when he learned that Naraku had caused it all. He couldn't go through the same thing with Kagome, even if it meant his own life. He had loved Kikyo; he would have done anything for her. "Now that she has returned to this world, I have to protect her." came the thought. "But, I have to protect Kagome just as much." Even if she was Kikyo's reincarnation, they were still different in ways. Kagome had always accepted him just as he was, with no questions asked. Maybe that was why she was the first person he had ever really trusted. She had shed tears for his sake, when they barely knew each other. He had always felt a little hesitation with Kikyo, since they were enemies of a sort at first. Maybe it was the reason why he was so ready to believe she had betrayed him.
His feelings for Kagome were just as strong as the ones he had for Kikyo, but because they were two different people, the feelings were different too. Not more or less, just different. "It's really not safe to be to open about it right now." he thought, "it'd just cause more trouble." Even though he felt much for Kagome, he couldn't be happy as long as Kikyo still roamed the earth without rest. He knew deep in his heart that she wasn't the same person who was once alive. "It's my fault." he thought with disgust. "I can't abandon her." Was it guilt or really love that still held her to him? He loved the person she was when she was alive. But she was not that person anymore, no matter how much he wanted to make it so.
He knew how much it hurt Kagome to see the two of them together, but he also knew she understood how he felt, in a way. His indecision was probably the biggest gap between them. He wouldn't blame her if she didn't ever come back. "That's it." he thought. It really was his biggest fear, that somehow, she would be gone from him forever, whether by her own will or forces that couldn't be controlled. He couldn't afford to lose her. "I"ll go through the well tomorrow and get her to come back with me," he thought "it's boring around here without her anyway." He smiled to himself. Kagome really was the only bright spot in his life. Too bad he just couldn't tell her so. At least not right now.