I do not own Kim Possible or any of the characters. The song "The Scotsman is performed by Bryan Bowers.
"Villain's Night Out: Killigan's Blue Ribbon"
Sitting around a table in a corner of a rough looking bar, was a veritable who's who of villains. Dr. Drakken, Shego, Lord Monkey Fist, and Duff Killigan were reminiscing of past battles with their teenaged foe, Kim Possible. Each had their own preferred type of drink. Drakken had a soda, Shego was sipping red wine, Monkey Fist had a cup of hot tea, and Killigan was having himself another pint of dark ale.
"Your really putting it away tonight Killigan," observed Drakken. "Yeah," agreed Shego, "You should really drink in moderation. You can get kind of rowdy when you get drunk." Killigan sneered at Shego, "I can handle me drink lassie, and me temper." Shego returned a cold look, "Uh huh, yeah. You keep telling yourself that."
"I believe it's your turn Monkey Fist," interrupted Drakken.
"Of course, well this one happened quite recently. It doesn't involve Miss Possible, but her monkey phobic sidekick, Ron Stoppable." Monkey Fist took a sip of his tea and then continued. "I had everything ready, my monkey ninjas were assembled and I had the spell book to summon the Phantom Monkeys so I could conquer the world and proclaim myself Supreme Monkey Ruler. That's when he showed up and tried to steal the book. He and his rodent, along with a robot controlled by the computer kid, defeated me and my ninjas, took the book, and smashed my monkey idols. Again!"
Monkey Fist sipped his tea again. "You know it turned out he was looking for a book that was in his backpack all along. I wonder why he was looking for it?"
"I bet it had something to do wit Possible," said Shego. "He busted into our place too. Ransacked the place looking for something. When I asked him where Possible was he shouted out 'She's not my girlfriend'." "It was kind of funny," she chuckled.
"Well it wasn't funny when the buffoon broke my new doomsday machine," said Drakken. "Yours were not the only plans foiled Monkey Fist. I heard that he also went to Dementor's place as well."
"Aye, he came to me castle as well, rummagin' through me bookshelf. I wondered why he was there alone. I bet the lad carries a torch for the lass," Killigan slurred.
"You might be right Killigan," said Drakken. "If he had as much trouble with Possible as I did with Shego with that moodulator thing, he might have begun to see her in a new light." "Moodulator?" said Monkey Fist queryingly. "I don't think you've told us that story." "Oh it's a boring story, nothing much happened really," said Drakken, as he looked as Shego. Shego was sitting there with a scowl on her face, warning him not to tell it.
Killigan started laughing, "Oh, I just had a funny thought. If those two were to get married, that would make Kim Possible, Stoppable." Monkey Fist and Shego laughed at this while Drakken sat there looking confused. "What? You think we will be able to defeat Kim Possible is she and the buffoon where married?" Shego shook her head and groaned. "What he is referring to," said Monkey Fist, "is that if Kim Possible were to marry Ron Stoppable, she would take his name. Therefore making Kim Possible, Stoppable. As in Kim Stoppable." Drakken stuttered out a response. "I...I knew that. I just wanted to be sure that you knew it as well."
Killigan stood up, holding onto the table for support. "Well I'd love ta sit here all night an' swap stories with ye, but I need to get goin'." He raised his mug, "Till next time," he toasted and drained the mug. He turned around and headed for the door, passing Motor Ed on the way. All he heard him say was "hey cuz" and "green babe", followed by a blast, as he exited the door. He walked down the street in a drunken stupor till he could no longer keep his feet. So he made his way off into the grass and dropped down, deciding to sleep some of it off. Sometime later he woke up to nature's call. He stumbled round; making his was toward the trees. Behind the bushes he lifted his kilt and gawked at what he saw. In a startled voice he said, "Oh, lad I don't know where ye been, but I see you won first prize."
This was something that came to me while I was listening to Dr. Demento. This one is based on "The Scotsman" and I have one more in the works.