Ok, so Ducky is going off to Maine now. For a week. And I won't have access to the internet, so this is the last chapter for a week or so. Even over my week in Maine, I'm going to be busy so I'm sorry in advanced if I don't get as much written as I would like. I would also like to say that I got out of school on Wednesday, I rocked my finals, and let's all give out support for those who are still in school for a few more days (yes, there are still people in school. Don't look so shocked). I would like to thank Robin, without you, Batman would be lost, and would have no reason to write! You're my hero! Now all you have to do is get a real cape!
Disclaimer: hmmm, I'm not feeling clever tonight, sue me.
Chapter 8: Tomatoes in Lonely Form
"So we should be getting back." Luke said. It was now about 3:00, on Sunday, and Luke remembered that Anna wanted April at home by 5:00.
"Ok. Pack up the tents?" April asked.
"Yep. And your stuff." Luke answered.
The two packed up their things, put them in the truck, and drove towards Anna and April's house.
"Luke?" April asked on the way home.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"Am I allowed to call you dad?" she asked. She felt it might be too soon, but she thought that it would be best to get used to him being a permanent figure in her life, and what better a way then to start calling him dad?
Luke was caught off guard. Dad? She thought she wasn't allowed to call him dad? Where did she get this idea?
"Yeah. Why?" he asked.
"Because I think I might want to start calling you dad." she confessed.
"You might?" he asked.
"yeah, I mean, I'm still not sure, and it's kind of soon for me, but you are my dad and you do act like my dad, which is only normal, but I was just wondering if I'm allowed to call you dad." she asked.
"Of course you are." he asked with a smile.
"good." she said, smiling back.
"Lorelai! What the hell are you doing sugar?" Babette yelled as she walked into the kitchen. Lorelai was standing in front of the stove now, cooking. No, not warming her socks, or watching the timer while the pop tarts were in the toaster, but cooking. Lorelai Gilmore was cooking. Lorelai "Me+stovefire" Gilmore, was cooking.
"What?" Lorelai asked, keeping her eye on the sauce she was cooking.
"Sugar! You're gonna' burn down the house!" Babette said in her raspy voice.
"No I'm not!" Lorelai said, taking offence.
"When was the last time you cooked?" Babette asked.
Silence.
"Exactly! Now hand over the ladle and slowly turn off the stove." Babette instructed.
"Babette! I've got it all under control." Lorelai said.
"Hunny, you never have it all under control." Babette said.
"Hey!"
"What, it's true."
"No it's not!"
"Sure it is! What about that time you set that shirt on fire?"
"That was different! I didn't like it! I purposefully did that!" Lorelai defended.
"Sure sugar, now turn off the stove before you hurt yourself." Babette instructed again.
"No! Look!" Lorelai held up the cook book she bought at the store. "See! It's perfectly fine! Now let me cook!" she said.
"Wow, you bought a book?" Babette asked. Never in all her years of knowing Lorelai Gilmore did she remember ever seeing her read a book, let alone a cook book!
"Yes I did! Now leave me to my tomato sauce!" Lorelai said proudly.
"Ok, but if you burn anything down, don't say I didn't warn ya!" Babette told her and then left.
Lorelai had bought a cook book. She had bough a book, and had started cooking. She had NEVER cooked in her life. Even when she had broken up with Max, she hadn't resorted to this. Even when she broke up with Luke the first time, she didn't decide to just start cooking. Even when her parents had pretty much just screwed up her whole life, she hadn't chosen cooking as her emotional outlet. So what was different about this? What was different about this?
She knew the truth. She knew it, but she didn't want to. She knew if she admitted to knowing the truth, then she would have to admit she was wrong, and Lorelai Gilmore was never wrong. So she hid behind her curtain of false truths and her wall of lies. She would tell everyone she needed to learn how to cook now that Luke was gone, or that she was just learning how to cook as her emotional outlet, but in actuality, she was lying. Lying beyond any lying she had ever done before. In fact, it wasn't even remotely close to the truth. Well, maybe.
The real truth was that when she cooked, she could feel Luke there. She could feel somehow connected. She could fill the room with aromas that only reminded her of Luke and his cooking. Cooking let her imagine he was there in the room, loving only her and cooking just for her. Because he loved her. Because he wanted to be there with her. So she was lying. She didn't use the cooking as a way to get away, she used it as a way to get in and back. To get into her memories, to get back to the past. She used cooking to satisfy her need of Luke. She used it to keep the tears at bay.
Luke grabbed the bag with his clothes in it and trudged up the stairs to the diner. He decided to leave the tents and everything else in the truck until later. The door flung open as he unlocked it. He sighed and walked up to his apartment.
He opened the door to the former office only to have his nose flooded with the smell of perfume. What the hell? He thought. Oh yeah, she was here a few days ago. He reminded himself.
Whenever Lorelai had entered a room wearing perfume, the smell was always different, but always seemed the same. The scent would last for days, if not weeks, if kept under the right conditions. His apartment had not been without her scent in the past 6 months, and even before that, it had always been because he was staying at THEIR house.
Their house. It sound familiar, but oh so foreign to Luke. He had bought a house for them to live in, but she had wanted HER house, so he made the right arrangements and the house ended up being converted from a HER house to a THEIR house. Luke had forgotten that in the past few months. It wasn't her house, it was their house…well…now it was a HER house. He had taken the first and forth letter out to convert it into the depressing convent that Lorelai lived in now. It wasn't their house anymore because of him. It was his fault…but he couldn't have changed it. He couldn't have fixed it. He couldn't have seen what was coming. He was always doomed to face this loneliness.
Lorelai was waiting. She was waiting for her daughter to figure out what was going on, come bursting through the doors, and try and save her from the big bad Luke. But she didn't. Rory didn't come. And Lorelai was able to go about her week with semi normalcy. Until Thursday. It had been almost a week, and here was the moment of truth…town meeting.
Lorelai had always loved town meetings and festivals. She had always been able to just immerse herself in the joy. This day was different. She woke up and felt the weight of her stupidity on her. It wasn't the first time, but everyday it just seemed to grow and grow. Now it felt like her emotion baggage had some baggage of its own. She didn't want to have to face the day. She didn't want to have to face the Michel, or the whinny guests, or even her bubbly Sookie. But she had to.
She pulled herself out of bed, went into the bathroom, and took a shower. It was now known as the mirror less bathroom, or the only one she could go into. She had stopped using Makeup with the exception of business meetings because other than that, she could box herself up in her office. She had removed the mirror from the bathroom after punching it, breaking it, and getting cuts all over her hand. It wasn't severe so she was able to just wipe up the blood and wrap it up. The frame of the mirror had been removed so that she wouldn't have to remember the sadness that had caused the mirror's demise.
She now got out of the shower and threw some clothes on, hoping they were presentable.
She started her jeep, or at least tried to. It wouldn't start. She slammed her fist into the steering wheel, causing the horn to go off.
"Damn it!" she cursed in frustration.
"Lorelai, Hunny! You ok?" Lorelai heard Babette yell from her garden where she was tending to her flowers. Lorelai hesitated, but then answered.
"Uh, yeah. I'm fine Babette. Just some car difficulties." Lorelai told her. Well at least she was only lying about the first part.
"You sure? You don't look so good. You sure you don't have some sort of flu or something'?" Babette asked. She was referring to the 'pasty' complexion of Lorelai which was caused by the lack of healthy foods, makeup, good skin care, and her natural happy self.
"No, I'm fine, really." Lorelai reassured.
"Ok then. Hey! Now don't you forget there's a town meeting tonight! You missed the last one and boy was Taylor mad! And If Taylor's mad, then he takes it out on everybody." Babette informed Lorelai of.
"Oh. Ok Babette. Thanks for reminding me. I'll try and remember but I might not have enough time, with work and all. Well, I have to walk to work now, I'll see you later." Lorelai said. She didn't want to go. She didn't want to be near other people that were happier and more joyful than she was. She didn't want to have to feel self pity or to torture herself by seeing that even Taylor has a new girlfriend. She didn't want to, but she had an obligation to her cause. Her cause being to keep the town out of the loop as much as possible. They were bound to have seen that Lorelai was avoiding Luke's and that he wasn't coming home. They must have seen it, but she didn't want to get bombarded with questions. But she had to.
Thursdays had always been good for Luke Danes. It was a meat day so that everyone who ate got fresh meat and was happy.
Now Thursdays were lousy. He didn't want to be around happy people. He wanted to be about to look like the cheerful one of the bunch, or at least not be plagued with the need to vomit at the sight of the twenty tourist couples who came in throughout the day just to eat. He hated it. He hated what this had turned him into.
But he decided to put his need to cry in the back of his mind, and concentrate on not killing the customers.
He looked out the window only to see Taylor closing up the store. What time was it? Luke looked at the clock. 5:50. Ten minutes from the beginning of town meeting. Luke didn't want to go. He decided that if he did, she would probably be there. She would be there to distract him, and he would be stupid enough to try and talk to her. He would be stupid enough to try and repair things. He would just be stupid enough to let his feelings out.
So he stayed in the diner, and made sure the ketchup was kept company.
Lorelai walked to the studio, saving her strength to fight for her life during town meeting. It was in fact, her fault that she and Luke were no longer together. The town would be mad when they had their suspicions confirmed.
She quickly stole a glance at the diner. She knew she shouldn't and should just keep walking. It would be easier if she didn't look, but she didn't pay attention to her common sense. Ever. So she stole a glance and saw Luke standing behind the counter. He was putting the ketchup bottles together. They were in pairs, one stacked on top of the other. Lorelai felt a twinge of guilt in her heart. That was her fault. He could be happy at that moment, but she took that away. No! He gave me no choice! She defended. But it didn't matter. It still felt like she had been the catalyst. She had started it all.
He looked up and saw her. Yep, she was going.
Lorelai saw him and quickly turned her head away and started walking away. Luke's gaze just fell as a jolt of sadness sped through his body. She had seen him looking and had left. Why had she been looking in the first place? Was he that pathetic? Did he really need her to pity him? No! No way in hell do I need her pity! She was the one who gave me the ultimatum, not the other way around! He told himself in anger.
He slammed his fist on the counter, causing the ketchup bottles to topple over and break.
"Damn it!" he exclaimed.
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So as stated before, I'm not feeling clever enough, due to lack of sleep and I'm having a really emotional day, so that's what I get. Please review, and I don't have a quote for this chapter, and I'm sorry. I'll make up for it in the next chapter: I'll have two quotes, ok? Well, hope you liked the chapter, and when, not if, you review, tell me what you liked/disliked about the chapter. Please.