Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
This is my first real Oneshot. It's set before Twilight when Edward reflects on how lonely his life is.
Sorry if this isn't very good, I was getting kinda bored with my other stories so I wrote this.
Hope you like it!
Family. That one bittersweet word.
My family meant the world to me, they were always there for me. Carlisle took the place of a thoughtful and loving father. Esme was the caring mother. Alice was a fun and very energetic sister that I could always talk to. Jasper, the slightly more serious brother that always listened. Emmet was the competitive and yet protective brother. Rosalie was the sister that always seemed to be annoyed with you but she would still fight through anything to protect you. They were my family. The were the best family in the world, I loved them dearly and treasured their company, but sometimes it was just too much.
Whenever it got to be just too much for me to handle, I came up here, the roof.
It was night now and I had had to spend the entire night being reminded that everyone in my family had someone, someone special to them. They had a partner, someone who they would cross oceans and even die for, while knowing that they would do the same for them. Rosalie had Emmet. Jasper had Alice. Carlisle had Esme. Which left me, the odd man out once again, reminded that I might never have someone like that.
I always came up to the roof when I felt like this. The wind was trying to blow me every which way, it felt good, to feel the air caressing me, I imagine that that might be how it would feel to actually be caressed by another person who unconditionally and irrevocably loved you. I would never know, so the wind was the closest that I would get.
We had moved up to Washington, it was cloudy most of the time, so we were concealed during the day. Tonight however, the clouds were gone, I could see the silver stars on the black night sky's background. I was thankful for that, the stars were always so inconceivably beautiful, and against the night's black depths they shone all the more.
The stars always reminded me of one of the last human memories I had, it was about when my mother told me something about the stars.
Flashback-
I lay there on the blanket in the backyard. I could hear the sound of people walking and of automobiles on the street in front of our apartment, but they were starting to quiet and the night's sounds were starting to conquer. The street lamps seemed to dim and soon, all that I could see were the stars in the inky black sky.
"They're beautiful, aren't they Edward?" I hadn't noticed Mother lay down beside me and gaze up at the stars around us.
"Yes, Mother."
"You know Edward, as much as your lessons can teach you, your father, or even I can teach you, the stars can still teach you something."
I was curious, what did she mean?
"What do you mean Mother?"
"Your grandmother told me this, like her father told her, and his mother told him. The stars are very beautiful Edward and you can look up at them for an eternity and still be amazed by them. But do you know why the stars are so beautiful?"
I was still confused by all this but listening to my mother's melodic voice while looking up at the stars was bliss and I enjoyed it.
"Why Mother?"
"Because Edward, each and every star is a person's spirit. Someone's star shows their true beauty, because if you look hard in every person, you'll see that, inside, they are as beautiful as their star."
"Is it true Mother? Are people really like that? Are the stars really their spirits?"
"Yes, Edward. It is very true, but do you want to know something else?"
I was becoming absorbed in her story. Was it really true?
"Yes Mother."
"Everyone's star has a partner. If you ever manage to count the stars, you'll find that there is never one that isn't with another star. That star's partner is that person's soul mate or you could call it their spirit mate."
"Do you know who your spirit mate is Mother?"
"Yes, your father. I could never be in love with anyone but your father. Purely, he is my true love."
"How do you know who your spirit mate is?"
"You can never have a way to find your spirit mate, Edward. But if you were truly meant to be with that person than Fate will find a way to bring you together."
"Which is your spirit? Which is mine?"
"You can never really tell which star is you, but your star is the star that your eyes always stray to somehow, the star that you look at the most and your favorite one to look at is your star."
"Do you see yours here?"
"I think so. Mine is the one right up there." And she pointed to a large star that was near the top of the tree that situated part of our lawn.
Then my Mother spoke again. "Which do you think is yours Edward?"
I looked up at the stars and once again found the one that I had been staring at before Mother started talking.
"That one, directly above us."
"Yes, that star is as beautiful as your spirit is supposed to be. Do you know how to find your spirit mate's star Edward?"
"How?"
"Their star will be the one that shines the brightest to you. You alone will be able to see their star's additional shine, because they will always be beautiful to you."
I searched the sky for the star that shone so brightly to me.
"I can't find it, why don't I have a spirit mate Mother?"
"You do Edward. Everyone does, maybe your spirit mate isn't alive yet. Believe me, everyone has their true love. Someday, you'll find the star that shines so brightly to you, and you will know that your true love exists, just search the skies, and you will find her."
At that we were silent, as we both gazed up at the spirits in the sky.
-End Flashback
I still remember that night with my mother and the spirits in the sky so vividly. It was like it had happened just yesterday, while the rest of my human memories were just fading away and most of them were merely foggy images and voices.
Every night I searched for my spirit mate, and every night I never found it. I wondered if my mother was wrong and I didn't have a spirit mate, if everyone else had one but I didn't, it was like in my family once again. Surely if I had ever had a spirit mate, they would have been alive long before this, maybe my mother really was wrong.
She couldn't have been telling a lie though. I remember her voice, it had been so sincere and so sure, but maybe that was only because she had believed it so much.
It had been 76 years, 76 years of looking up at the sky hopefully, only to see it empty of the special brightness that my mother said I would see.
76 years of seeing my spirit alone without a partner.
76 years of leaving the roof at dawn, crestfallen.
Face it, I told myself. You don't have a spirit mate, and you never will.
Of course, I was cursed with having no companion. Cursed to be alone for all eternity.
I could see that dawn would be here soon, another night of spirit/star gazing with no results. Maybe this would be the last time that I would do this, I didn't think that I could take another night filled with pain as the special brightness that my mother told me about never appeared.
I slowly lowered myself into my window and when I was halfway in I glanced back at the night sky one last time. And I let go of the window and fell with a huge thump to the ground.
What I saw was a star.
A star where there was none a few seconds before.
A star that was shining brighter than the rest.
This star was shining so brightly that normally someone would have to look away because of the light, but this light didn't hurt, it shone brighter than 100 lights but I didn't have to look away.
I spent the rest of the night on the roof, staring up at the sky, the spirit, my spirit mate. I did have one, she was coming into existence right now.
Wait! How would I find her? I had no idea where she was, or what she looked like. But didn't Mother say that Fate would bring us together if she was really my spirit mate? She did. I would just have to wait.
I cursed the sun, as it came up, when the sun was out I couldn't see my love's spirit. I would be back though, I would watch over her spirit until I found her. I would just have to wait.
When I got back into my room, I seemed different, I actually looked forward to my existence, to meeting my spirit mate.
I would find her, and I would never let go of her, I would never be alone again, I'd have her.
Meanwhile-
"Oh Charlie isn't she beautiful?"
"Yes, she sure is."
"Hear that? That's your Daddy and I'm your Mommy."
"Isabella, let's name her Isabella."
"Bella Swan, I like that."
"So what do you think Bells?"
All Charlie Swan was answered by his newborn daughter was a happy coo.
How did you like it? Bad? Good? OK? Answer me!
Sorry if it was kinda cheesy though.
Review and tell me what you thought of it!
Questions? Ask me!
TwilightSnowStar