I promised to have another chapter up by today, just for Asta-Gilmore, and here it is. I don't have much to say, so, read on! Oh, and thanks for those who reviewed the last chapter.

Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Gilmore Girls.

Chapter 13: Are You My Mother?

"Ok! I'm showered, dressed, and ready for a good coffee-ing!" Lorelai yelled as she ran down the stairs.

"Sorry, all gone." Rory said as she walked into the living room.

"What! You drank all of the--" she stopped when she saw Rory's smile. "Oh! You evil child! Don't ever scare me like that again! Do you want your old mother having a heart attack from all of that artery clogging food?" Lorelai asked.

Rory looked at her in awe…had she really just admitted to the horrible consequences of her eating habits?

"Ok, fine, they don't clog arteries, but people like to blame that for their heart issues. Better?" Lorelai asked.

"Yes, much. Now go drink your coffee, before I go and smash the coffee maker." she threatened.

"He has a name." Lorelai shouted as she made her way into the kitchen.

"You are not naming the coffee maker William." Luke said sternly.

"Why not?" Lorelai said.

"Because it doesn't…suit the coffee maker." Luke answered lamely. He had other reasons, but he didn't want to voice them.

"Oh, so you know about naming coffee makers now?" Luke didn't answer as he flipped a pancake. "Fine, so what is the coffee maker in your apartment named?" Lorelai asked.

"I didn't name my coffee maker." he deadpanned.

"That's what you said about your toolbox too." Lorelai said while giggling.

"That's because I didn't. You did." he answered with a smile, knowing where she was going with this.

"Oh, I didn't mean that toolbox, I meant your other one." she said.

"I never named that one either. That was you." Luke answered her. He turned his head so he was facing her. She pulled him in for a kiss. She pulled back with a sweet smile on her face. Her eyes were closed, but then she opened them quickly and shouted;

"Oh! Oh! I just got the perfect idea!"

"What?" Luke asked, afraid of the answer.

"Why don't we name it after you?" Lorelai suggested.

"You want to name your coffee maker Luke? But then I might get confused when you start yelling 'Luke' in bed, I mean, would you be dreaming of me, or the coffee maker?" Luke asked.

"Hmmm, good point. Let me think on this." she said.

Luke finished making breakfast and they both sat down to eat their food. Once they were done, Luke grabbed the plates and started to wash them.

"Hey, how about we give the coffee maker after one of your nicknames." Lorelai said.

"Oh, god. What this time?" Luke asked, regretting he even asked.

"How about…drum roll please…Casanova!" she yelled.

"Lorelai, have you gone insane?" he asked.

"No, I've always been like this." she said in a girly voice.

"Of course you have, why do I even ask." Luke said to himself.

Lorelai opened her eyes after the flashback to see that she had already downed half the cup of coffee in her hand. Thinking back to those times was hard for her. It made her want to cook. It made her want to cry. It made her want to ring the bells of her Notre Dame again.

But she couldn't, time went on, and no one had invented the time machine yet.

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Luke crawled out of the water and stormed to the diner.

"Jess!" he shouted as he walked in the door. Jess was no where to be seen. But there were many people staring at him. It was probably because he was soaked to the bone and looked angry. Those two things combined could not be good.

"Ah…Luke. What happened?" Lane asked.

"That little…FREAK…pushed me into the water! Where the hell is he!" Luke was freaking out. Lane tried to stifle her laughter, and was doing a pretty good job considering how funny Luke looked.

"I…haven't seen him, but you might want to go change before you go continue your search." Lane suggested.

"Oh." Luke said as he looked down at his wet clothes. "Yeah, I probably should, if you see him, just tell him he's dead." Luke said.

"Sure, anytime." Lane said, laughing at how funny everything was working out. Had Jess really pushed him in? Lane wouldn't put it past him.

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Rory walked into the kitchen to find her mother at the table looking through a book.

"What ya up to?" Rory asked.

"Oh," Lorelai said, looking up startled to find that Rory had been standing over her. "I'm just looking through this. How long have you been standing there?" Lorelai asked.

"Oh, just a few minutes…" Rory caught sight of the book she was looking at. "Mom, what are you doing looking at a cook book?" Rory asked.

"Oh, you know, just thinking of something to make." Lorelai said, unbelievably.

"Since when do you cook?" Rory asked, not believing her mother for a second.

"Oh, since yesterday. I saw it in the store and decided it was about time I learned to cook." Lorelai said, with a smile on her face of course.

Rory felt her mother's forehead.

"What are you doing?" Lorelai asked.

"What have you done with my mother?" Rory asked.

"Funny." Lorelai said, looking back down at the book.

"So why are you cooking?" Rory asked.

"Because I want to." she said in defiance. "Do I need a reason?" Lorelai asked.

"Do you claim to be my mother, the reining Lorelai Gilmore, who had built a life for herself, by herself, without the help or the request of help by her parents?" Rory asked.

"Hmmm…" Lorelai faked for a moment about how to answer that. "Why yes, I believe that is me." Lorelai said happily.

"Then yes, you do need a reason." Rory said.

"Because I want to, there's your reason. And there are some things children shouldn't know." Lorelai said.

"Mom, I act older than you, so who's the child here?" Rory asked.

"Hmmm…still you." Lorelai answered with a smile on her face.

"So anyway, back to the real reason for this conversation…why are you cooking?" Rory asked again.

"I'm not." Lorelai said.

"What?"

"I'm not cooking; I'm looking at a cook book. There's a difference." Lorelai stated smugly.

"Ok, fine. Then why are you looking at a cook book?"

"Because I can, it's a free country, and I'll starve if I don't learn how to cook." Lorelai said.

"Mom, you and I lived off junk and take out for over twenty years, and now you think you can't do it again?" Rory asked.

"Hey! I resent that! Take out falls under the category of junk, so why doesn't candy get its own category? Huh, like 'you and I lived off from candy and junk and take out for years…' which is much more appropriate and less hurtful towards the candy. Did you think about that?" Lorelai asked.

"Mom! Answer the question!" Rory begged.

"Fine, I can't live off just junk food anymore because my body has gotten used to the good stuff so now it wants more, and I don't have Lu--anyone to cook it for me anymore so I've got to learn to cook it myself." Lorelai argued proudly.

"Fine, I give up. You are impossible." Rory said as she walked back into the living room.

"Love you too Hun!" Lorelai shouted after her as she went back to secretly noting on what occasions Luke made what dish, hoping to be able to recreate the events in her mind, or her nostrils rather.

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So what do you think? Did anyone notice the title? Hmmm...who can anyone tell me who writes that book? Now, I don't really have a quote for this chapter, but I do have this:

There once was a man from Peru, who had a knack for eating a lot of glue. He hated his wife, who had an obsession with her carving knife, but tried to make pancakes all the same. His name was Manuel Garcia, and hers, Jaba-da-hut Wilkins (she never took his name). They had a fish named Mambo who was having an affair with Jaba-da-hut. Jaba had a son, who miraculously bore gills. Even so, Manuel had no clue that Bubba, Jaba's son, was not his own.

So he looked in the cookie jar for some food, but only found a banana. And since Manuel was an emotional eater, that was not gonna cut it. So he went shopping and brought home some beer and some carrots. "Yum" he said. Then he called his fat lazy dog over and gave him the carrots them he put the 6-pack of beer into the refrigerator and went to bed.

Afterwards he killed a chicken and ate it as a midnight snack. He then had a cup of coffee with his new wife who had had plastic surgery so many times that her nose was falling off and her breasts were the size of Texas. His old wife had left him for Mambo and had moved with their son to Texas. His new wife also had some skeletons in her closet...both her ex-husbands to be exact. Manuel, one day, decided to leave his new wife for his half-sister Roberta. So his second wife (the one with all of the plastic surgery) killed him and gave birth to their demon son who ended up taking over the world at age 7.

THE END! (This story was written by my sister and I.)

Please review.