Chapter 85: Traveling to a New Life Part I
With a flourish, Colton opened the Suite's door for the soon-to-be Grant Family, while Nathan and Millicent stood in the passageway with his arm around her waist, both lagging behind to allow Allie to enter first.
Smiling, the couple watched from the doorway as their elated Daughter was mesmerized by what she saw before her, a luxurious accommodation she had never before been exposed to on a Train, nor for that matter, anywhere.
Yet, perhaps without Allie even realizing it, this would now be a normal way of travel for her.
Nathan and Millicent were doing their best to ease their Daughter into their new world and had tried to prepare her the very best they could.
But this trip, and all that would be waiting for them in Montreal, was more than difficult to explain to a child.
Especially since she had never before been exposed to anything remotely similar.
All of this new life simply had to be experienced.
But as Millicent had reminded Nathan when they first visited the land north of Montreal that would later become their Ranch, "Darling, it's not the grandeur or even the simplicity of the home that matters, it's the people and the love they have for each other inside it that counts!"
Nathan knew she was right, as their own parents had proven that on both ends of the socio-economic spectrum.
It had been love that had brought them together and kept them bound together all these many years, not money.
He also knew the two of them together would give Allie all the love in the world a child could ever need or desire.
In fact, the only thing Nathan and Millicent could do was to love Allie, remain by her side, guide her, and do their best to keep her humble while helping their little girl focus on all the love the family and extended family would provide for her, while gradually getting her accustomed to her new life.
After all, Allie was getting exactly what she had dreamed of: a beautiful loving Momma she adored, who cherished her every bit as much if not more with a vast maternal love that rivaled that of her own birth mother's, a beloved Grandpapa she had already met, and a new Grandmama plus huge extended family she couldn't wait to meet who already loved her like their own!
And it was those relationships that were the most important things.
Everything else was superfluous.
"Wow! Momma, look! This place is spec-tac-u-lar!"
Nathan and Millicent couldn't help but chuckle at their Daughter's enthusiasm for her new surroundings, thrilled she was so excited!
Both Millicent and Allie carefully laid down the beautiful floral bouquets the women of Hope Valley had given them.
Millicent walked over to Allie, hugging her from behind.
"It really is nice, isn't it, Sweetheart? Now, do you believe me that we'll have our privacy?"
"Yes, Ma'am! This is something else! I don't ever want to leave!"
Nathan chuckled as Millicent smiled, and Colton cleared his throat.
"Welcome all to your new home while onboard! Your luggage has already been unpacked and put away in your respective rooms. Although we hope to see you in the Main Dining Room, Breakfast, Lunch, Tea, and Dinner Menus are in the large leather binder on the desk for your selections in case you prefer to eat in your Suite. A Menu of the Daily Specials will also be delivered under your door early each morning. If there are any unique preferences or requests, please let us know and our Chef will do his best to fulfill them."
"Thank you, Colton," nodded Nathan. "I'm sure we'll be fine with whatever you serve."
"Colton, you remembered!" exclaimed Millicent. "The flowers are beautiful!"
In the center of the low table was a huge bouquet of Millicent's favorite white flowers, just like Nathan had ordered on his first trip to Montreal, causing tears to glisten in her eyes and leaving her personal scent filling the entire Suite!
"I did indeed remember, Miss Bradford! How could I forget? But I do confess I had a little help! As much as I would like, I'm afraid I can't take all the credit this time," grinned the Conductor conspiratorially.
"Nathan!" she looked at him lovingly as he walked to greet her. "You remembered!"
He took her hands and bent to kiss both her cheeks so tenderly.
"Special flowers for the most beautiful and wonderful fiancée a man could possibly have!"
"Oh, oh! I knew there was going to be luvvy duvvy stuff before too long," whispered Allie knowingly to the Conductor with a sigh.
Nathan cleared his throat.
"Allison Grant!" he said firmly, while still looking at Millicent lovingly without even turning toward his Daughter.
"Sorry, Dad. I just think it's sweet!"
Nathan couldn't help but smile, because truth be told, it was very sweet to be in love.
"Very sweet, indeed," he whispered to Millicent, with a quick kiss.
"Momma, these flowers are the prettiest I've ever seen! Are these your favorite ones like you told me?" asked Allie from across the room, deftly changing the subject.
"Yes, Sweetheart, these are my favorite flowers of all."
"They smell so great! Just like you!"
"Good pickup, Allie, they are in fact the exact same delectable scent your Momma wears! But the smaller bouquet with the same flowers and the tiny pink roses is for you, Sweetheart! The three of us have a lot to celebrate and I thought both my girls needed special flowers for our journey to our new beginning."
"Really? I can't believe I get flowers like Momma. I think these tiny pink roses are going to be my favorite flowers ever. These look just like my corsage for the dance, too! I love them so much! Thank you, Dad!"
"You are very welcome, Allie!"
"If you'll allow me, I'll take your departure Bouquets and see that they are placed in vases with water, Miss Bradford, Miss Allie," offered Colton.
"Thank you, Colton!" smiled Millicent, with her arm around Allie's shoulders.
"Thank you, Mr. Colton!" added Allie with a brilliant smile, acting all grown up just like her Momma, so thrilled to be included.
"Would you all like some Coffee and maybe some Lemonade brought to your room?"
Allie's eyes got big.
"Dad, may I have Lemonade, please?"
With one quick glance, Nathan could see Millicent was all for having the refreshing iced drink too.
"There is something quite wonderful about drinking iced cold Lemonade with snow covering the ground," agreed Millicent. "Especially while in this warm and cozy Suite!"
"Looks like Lemonade for all three of us, Colton!"
"And perhaps some of our special Biscuits and Tea Sandwiches with a few treats, too? I'm afraid it's a long time till Dinner, Sir. If there's nothing else, I'll go see to everything as soon as I check in on the Gentlemen across the hall. Welcome aboard all! We are truly honored to have all three of you with us! And Miss Allie since this is your first visit with us, you just let me know if there is anything at all you need!"
"Thank you, Mr. Colton! That's very nice!"
"Thank you, Colton," smiled Nathan as he shook his hand and passed him a very nice tip.
"Thank you, Sir! Very much, indeed!"
"Our pleasure! This is one special trip for all three of us and we couldn't be more excited about it!"
"And rightfully so! It isn't every day one travels to their Wedding! We plan to make it absolutely perfect for all three of you, Sir!"
"You don't have to do a thing, Colton! It is already perfect..."
As Nathan closed the door behind the Conductor, he felt so many different emotions coursing throughout his body, most of which were wonderful!
First, there was disbelief, excitement, and even relief that Millicent, Allie and he were finally on board traveling to their Wedding in Montreal.
Second, there was deep love and gratitude for this, his new family, including both present and extended.
Third, ever the Mountie, he also held a degree of warranted concern hoping that everything would run smoothly in the big city from a safety perspective, as he had faced their unruly crowds before.
Fourth, he even felt a tiny shred of angst mingled with the hope that one beloved brother named Richard would somehow miraculously be reined in from his typical practical jokes.
But last and mostly he was feeling pure happiness, joy, and deep profound love.
Perhaps even jubilation, something prior to Millicent, he had not ever known.
But now he was experiencing all of that along with this glorious feeling of exhilaration.
He knew no other word to describe it, except in that way.
He was exhilarated!
All of which was new in his life and had come to him only with Millicent's presence.
He watched her as she helped Allie out of her coat.
How he adored her!
As a family, the three of them fit in a way that left no doubt they belonged together.
As a couple, the two of them were made perfectly for each other, and both of them knew it.
They had found each other all over again in the newest and best of ways, from childhood best friends to grownup best friends, to being a couple and soon, each other's life partners.
His breathing still rapidly spiraled when by her side, quickening to a pace he thought would no longer be manageable, but then her regal smile always brought this calm that took him beyond his understanding to a place of perfect peace.
It was that same brilliant smile that had never failed to bring him joy while at the same time calming him every single time, and deep inside he knew it never would.
As strong as he was, he was not at all ashamed to admit he needed her strength in order to be whole.
It was as though there was an unspoken covenant between them, that had existed from the first time they had met as children.
An unbreakable bond and understanding of each other, that even one quick glance brought to the forefront.
Only her wealth and social status, along with his insecurity, had stood in the way, which now shamed him. Because neither defined her at all. They never had. And by allowing those two things to stand in his way, he had wasted precious time they couldn't recapture, but he would spend the rest of his days making up for it.
They were totally themselves with each other, and each of them was so much better together.
He knew she would never intentionally fail him, just as she knew he would never intentionally fail her.
It was a rare thing, but each truly cared more about the other than themselves.
Yes, they both were strong independent individuals, but together they soared.
Life would happen, of course, both good and bad, and they weren't oblivious to that at all, as both knew for various reasons that life wasn't a fairy-tale.
But they would face whatever came together, supporting each other and filling in what the other needed to get them both through.
And that was an incomparable gift.
It was that strength, along with their love, that would set the tone for their life together, and get them through whatever their future brought with grace...
"Wow! This is the best place ever! I didn't even know Trains had rooms like this!"
"Wait till you see the bedrooms, Allie!" grinned her Dad.
"I want to see the bathrooms too. Momma told me they won't be so crowded and we don't have to share!"
"All true. Go check them out for yourself, Sweetie!"
"Allie, if you want to get more comfortable first, I'll wait to change later," noted Millicent, as she removed her huge winter hat, and Nathan set it on the desk for her.
Ever attentive, he had already taken and hung Millicent's White Fur when they first entered the Suite, as well as Allie's new Red Velvet Coat she loved so much.
But for one split second, as the Red and White hung there together, he saw his blood on the White Fur and had to shake his head to obliterate the unwanted memory that kept coming back from the shooting. It wasn't the coat per se. That coat held more happy memories than sad ones, as Millicent had worn it on her very first visit to Hope Valley, as well as the week they had first gotten together in Montreal and also on the night of their engagement.
And although she had offered to give it away and get something else totally different to wear, he didn't want that.
Because he associated the coat as a part of their memories together and he knew getting rid of the coat wouldn't stop these awful images coming to his mind.
This was something inside him, not outside, that he still had to work through.
It had happened again during Church this morning, of all places, as a stream of light shone through the window and lit his face.
And then again as he got into their car with Millicent to drive to the Livery when he had caught sight of Lucas's automobile and that horrid night flashed back to him.
There was no singular trigger he could pinpoint, for truthfully everything was potentially a trigger, and they all came fast and furiously when he least expected them.
But thankfully, at least the nightmares were much less frequent.
Though deep inside, he still felt like a target and both from his past experience and from what Bill had shared, he knew that wasn't going away anytime soon.
Maybe it would be better if he could have blamed Lucas all this time, but somehow he couldn't, as he simply couldn't see what that would ultimately accomplish.
Still, he was giving it his all to not let any of this struggle blemish these happiest of days for Millicent, Allie, and himself.
God would eventually heal his emotional wounds, just as He had healed his physical ones, remarkably with minimal scarring.
"He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds." Psalms 147:3 (*79)
It was one of God's many promises, and Nathan was hanging tightly onto it.
He was just going to have to be patient, as in time he knew God would take care of the first less tangible part too.
Thankfully, his girls had been talking, while having turned away from him, unable this time to see his flashback.
But Millicent seldom missed them when present.
He prayed that at least the remaining nightmares wouldn't come on their Honeymoon, for he had no doubt, she would absolutely know.
And he desperately wanted their time together to not be tainted by that.
"What should I wear, Momma?"
"Whatever you want, Sweetie!" answered Millicent. "Your Lemonade will be here soon, though."
"I'd better hurry and change now, then!"
Allie snuck a peek into her Dad's quarters first with a huge "Wow," then she snuck a peek into her Dad's bathroom.
"Dad this is great! You even have a bathtub! And you have a giant bed too!"
"Finally, one long enough, right, Allie?"
She grinned, along with her Dad.
"Dad's beds are always too short," she explained authoritatively to Millicent. "Because he's so tall!"
"I can see where that absolutely would be the case!"
"Can we just live here on the Train? Pretty please! I love it here!"
"You might not want to live here when you see our home in Montreal," noted her Dad with a grin. "It's pretty nice too, with a huge park across the street. Not to mention the Ranch with an awful lot of acreage and horses to boot!"
"I can't wait!"
"Don't forget you have a beautiful bedroom waiting for you at the Townhouse, Allie! I know because it used to be mine! Essie and I got it ready adding touches that we thought looked like you before I traveled to meet your Father at the Ball."
"Really, Momma?"
"Yes, it sits at the front of the townhouse and looks out over the park, so you can watch the carriages go by, which is one of my favorite things to do. I think you will love it! But if you want to change anything at all, from wallpaper to rugs to bedspread to drapes, that will be great too! We just want it to feel like yours."
"It will Momma! I love that it was yours. But where will you stay?"
"I'll stay in the guest room just down the hall for a while."
"But where will Dad stay?"
"He'll stay in the Master Suite, next to you!"
Allie brightened.
"That's perfect!"
She then crossed the Suite to hers and Millicent's bedroom and bath, and let out a huge whoop!
"This is just amazing! I love all the blues! It's funny. Dad's bedroom has lots of greens and our sitting area has both blues and greens. It's really pretty! But wait a minute Dad, you have blue eyes, and Momma, you have green eyes. I guess they got the rooms reversed!"
Both parents laughed, watching and listening to their Daughter's excited comments from the doorway...
When Allie finally shut the door to change her clothes, Nathan wrapped his arms around Millicent from behind and walked her to the settee.
"She's like a kid in a Candy Shoppe, Mil!"
"With that precious girl in our lives, we'll never be short on excitement, nor love, my Darling!"
"I'm afraid all this fancy stuff isn't anything she's ever been exposed to before."
"She'll be fine, Nathan. All this won't change our girl. She's well grounded, thanks to you. We'll both ensure that all this doesn't negatively impact her! Besides, don't forget there's Essie to bring her down to earth too. She sure helped my parents to do that with all of us!"
"Ah, dear Essie! How could I forget? You know, they say a child keeps you young. But I always think they should add 'That is if the child doesn't kill you first in the process!'"
Millicent laughed.
"I much prefer the 'keeping young part!' Have you fully recovered from Last night, Love?"
He pulled her down to the settee, with her flowers sitting in front of them.
She bent to take in their scent.
As she did so, the Diamond on her new Bracelet he had given her that matched Auntie Luciana's caught the sunlight streaming in from the outside while dangling on her wrist.
Both couldn't help but notice.
"I love this Bracelet, Nathan! I love most of all that the Diamond is from your family, and especially that it's identical to Auntie Luciana's Bracelet. It's a visual assurance that our love was definitely meant to be. What a beautiful thing that is! It's as though this Diamond ties us together all those years ago even before we were conceived."
He kissed her forehead.
"I was pleasantly astonished when I realized the connection. I'm so glad I remembered having it and am thrilled that you love it, too!"
Once they were comfortably situated on the settee with her nestled onto his shoulder and his arm around her, Nathan answered her previous question thoughtfully.
"To answer your question, I'm not at all sure. But at least this first dance is over, except for the huge soon-to-be recap. It's the coming ones I'm concerned about now. You know this probably just gets worse and worse as she gets older and even more into boys!"
"Nathan Grant, things could just get better and better as we all get older, you know!"
"With us, yes! With Allie, I'm not ready to give her up, Mil. All I see is her falling in love and leaving us."
"Nate, you're never going to have to give her up, not ever. And besides, we have quite a long time till Allie actually falls in love."
"You don't think this is puppy love, with Robert, I mean?"
"Puppy love, yes, absolutely, but that doesn't mean he'll be her forever love. A lot can happen between now and then!"
"But it was true love with us from the beginning."
"Yes, it was and is! But I think we might be the exception, Darling! I don't think that's always the norm."
"Thank goodness, then! Not that I don't like Robert. I just think it's way too early for them to be so tied to each other. But ultimately Allie will leave us for college, then for work and probably marriage."
"Well, that is the plan, you know! Those are all the wonderful life blessings we want for her. But, Nathan all that's so far away. In the meantime, don't you know every young man she meets will be compared to you? And those are pretty high standards, my Love. I think, when that time comes, that our Daughter will choose very well indeed! Besides, if she doesn't, you and I will be there to guide her!"
"You make it sound so easy, Darling."
"It is easy," and she took both his hands in hers before she continued. "But you have to have a little faith! My Darling Nate, if you don't get over this fear of Allie eventually leaving for college and even marriage, you're going to miss out on all her wonderful growing-up experiences that are going to happen in between, and you don't want to do that! You're too crucial a piece to all of those experiences. And you don't want to miss the joy each and every one of them is going to bring. Also, our Daughter needs you to enjoy them with her, or they won't mean nearly as much to her. It takes the two of you, and for some experiences the three of us, to make all those beautiful memories together for her. Besides as I said, I promise you'll never ever lose her! You are her Father. You will always be her Father. We just have to enjoy all the moments of her life!"
Nathan looked at Millicent as he finally understood what she was saying.
"You and I will be the most important part of those memories," he added, letting that slowly sink in.
"Yes, Love! We'll all three take it a day at a time together, knowing we never truly lose her, just as she will never lose us. Our hearts are already bound so closely together. Nothing can change that, except that our love just gets deeper and deeper as we grow even closer living together as a family."
"You're absolutely right! I know it in my heart. It's my Father's brain that's trying to constantly play catch-up!"
"The three of us will always be there for each other, no matter what."
Nathan nodded, finally truly getting it.
"After all, when she does fall in love and there is a marriage, then we just gain a son and grandchildren," added Millicent, without even thinking about the impact of those pragmatic words on her fragile fiancé.
Had Nathan been drinking Coffee, it would have splattered throughout the entire sitting area!
"Did you have to say the 'g-word?'" he asked, once again alarmed.
His face was astounded and even contorted at the sound of the word, and Millicent couldn't help but chuckle.
"Darling, when the time comes, you'll be ready. Look at my Father! The poor man was worried you'd never come to your senses, and that I'd remain a spinster the rest of my life, no less! Because I too compared every single man I met to you! Now he can't wait for more grandchildren!"
"Now that 'g-word,' I can get on board with!" he whispered, grazing the line of her neck with his warm lips.
"You, my Love, better behave; our Daughter will be out here any moment! And we want to set a good example."
Nathan sighed and sat up on the edge of the settee, turning to look at her.
"I'm so happy, Mil. Happier than I've ever been in my entire life."
She smiled.
"Me too, Love! This is getting very real, and very wonderful."
"It is, isn't it? In a matter of just about two weeks, we'll be married, Darling!"
"I know and I can't wait!"
"Neither can I. Mil, do you think Allie will understand…things? The changes our marriage will bring and all their dynamics, I mean."
"I think so. But, honestly, I'm not completely sure. She did ask if I would be sleeping with you, indirectly. I think her words were 'After we get married, does that mean I get a room of my own on the Train and when we come back to Hope Valley together?'"
"She did? How did you answer?"
"Actually, I didn't say much except, yes, and that I would always be there for her. Then I quickly changed the subject. I thought if she did have questions you and I should answer them together."
"Of course, Love! Although, I can't say I'm actually looking forward to that talk! Allie always has a million questions. Very detailed questions! There's no telling where they'll go!"
Millicent giggled at the seriousness of her fiancé, then got serious herself.
She could remember her own incessant questions, as curiosity had always been a strong suit with her, as well.
It used to drive Richard crazy, in particular.
But if anyone was more curious than her, it was Colleen.
Maybe that was partially why Millicent understood Allie so well.
"This is a huge change in her life, Nathan. She has had you all to herself for all these years, and I've been thinking about that."
"What have you been thinking?"
"I think the two of you should make it a point to have alone time together. Perhaps do something with each other every week, just like she and I are going to do every Tuesday night. Sort of like a date afternoon or night with her Dad. I don't want her to feel any less important to you, Nate, because I'm there. She needs alone time with you too, just like she always has had."
"Only you would think of that, Mil! One of the many millions of reasons I love you."
He cupped her chin with his index finger and thumb and stretched to place his lips on hers, loving her so intensely he drew back.
"What's wrong, Love?"
"Nothing! Nothing at all. Everything is so perfect, it almost scares me, Millie! It has been perfect since you arrived at the Ball!" he smiled, then couldn't help but blush. "It's just that this 'after' our Wedding isn't a discussion that you and I have ever had, either. And if we're going to talk to Allie together, I suppose we need to do that."
She blushed as well, then smiled tenderly, reaching for his back, gently rubbing between his strong shoulders, thankful that he was finally healed from the gunshot wound.
They both longed to be completely each other's, but that was something that would come only with marriage.
They both were committed to that.
There had never been a thought otherwise.
But even though their hearts were already each other's, they were also in this limbo state of being together without being able to fully express themselves physically, all the while feeling a little skittish about the closeness that was soon to come once they were actually married.
The desire for each other was there, intensely so, even more so since they had been apart, but they were both completely committed to the fact that would come only as Husband and Wife.
Never would either allow anything different; it wasn't even a consideration or thought. Although subliminally, that still didn't mean dealing with these longings was easy. And as much as they fought them and even tried to ignore them, that didn't mean the desires weren't there.
It was simply part of their love, and as they neared their union, it was inevitable and part of God's plan for that longing to grow, and to be considered.
Although it was a complete unknown to both.
"Everything changes with our Wedding, doesn't it, Mil?"
"Do you get nervous thinking about it…I mean about us really being together?" she asked hesitantly.
He immediately knew what she was asking as if she had read his own mind.
So instead of being serious, he decided to lighten the mood and chuckled.
"I get worried about what side of the bed you're going to take!"
"Nathan Grant!"
But then his sparkly eyes grew serious, as he turned to her, taking her hands in his.
"No, Love, not nervous exactly. Just both anxious and excited to finally be able to show you all my love for you. Do you get nervous thinking about us being together?"
"Maybe a little," she admitted nervously while blushing a deep rose-red and looking down. "I don't want to displease you, Nate."
He took her face in his hands, raising it ever so gently while looking deeply into her emerald eyes.
"Millicent Alexandria Bradford, almost Grant, you could never ever displease or disappoint me in any way. Do you understand?"
"I know that deep inside. I truly do, but it's just that I have no experience whatsoever, not even via books. This isn't a conversation Mother and I have ever had either. I know nothing, except that I love you."
"Well, to be frank, Babe, I know nothing either. But I also know with all my being, that I love you completely. Like so many other things, this is meant for us to experience together for the first time. Just like what side of the bed the Lady happens to choose! That's the way it's meant to be. We go into this unknown together, but we'll find our way as Husband and Wife, Love. Together, we'll find our way! I promise!"
She nodded, smiling radiantly, relieved to have admitted her one fear so that now it was out in the open and no longer a barrier between them.
It helped also for her to know that he had been equally concerned.
"Mil, you know how we were a bit worried about transitioning from friends to a couple, even though we were certain it was right?"
"I do. It seems silly now that it was ever a thought, much less a concern," she admitted.
"Yes, it does. And it all worked out beautifully," he bent to tenderly kiss the tip of her nose. "Exactly the way it was supposed to!"
"It was the most natural thing ever," she smiled up at him. Like we had been meant to be all along.
"It was. Because we were meant to be together all along. And I have no doubt this will be natural too. We just have to have faith, my Love, and be completely open and honest with each other!"
Then that teasing sparkle in his eyes came back in full force.
"Besides you know what they say! With anything, practice makes perfect," he grinned that boyish crooked grin that melted her heart. "And we'll have plenty of time on our Honeymoon to practice till we get it perfect. So I promise not to worry if you promise not to worry."
"It's a deal. No worries!"
"Momma, can you come help me?" called Allie from the Bedroom.
"Sure, Allie! Be right there."
"Not before I get a kiss to seal our deal," insisted Nathan wrapping his arms around her, with a flirty smile.
"I love you, Nate. With all my heart I love you! You always make me feel cherished and the truth is, I know you always will!"
He kissed her again, showing his love, rather than telling her, but she got the message loud and clear, giggling while backing away from this man she adored.
"Our Daughter's calling. Be right back, Love!"
"It's all those details of last night that I'm dreading," he admitted in a muted stage whisper. "Is that terrible?"
"Not terrible. Just being a Father! But much better she tells us those details than not, my Darling," declared Millicent with raised eyebrows. "You, my Love, need to Mountie up!"
Nathan instantly knew, once again, that his fiancée was right, taking to heart everything she had just said about their lives with Allie, feeling a release as much as fathers are allowed to feel, then grinning his crooked grin once more to prove it.
And now, even fear of or unease about relationship unknowns with each other had somehow disappeared for both of them.
Remarkably, there was a feeling of perfect peace left in their stead...
(*79) Psalms 147:3. The Holy Bible, King James Version, Public Domain