Chapter 2

Adrian gave Samantha a wary look at what she had just suggested. He watched as she laughed brightly, doubling over in laughter.

"Oh come on Adrian! Eating ice cream at the beach isn't going to kill you!" She exclaimed in between her gasps for breath. He looked at the ice cream cone that the man was holding out for him to take. He took it and gave Samantha another look before barely licking it. She paid the man and put her arm around his. They walked slowly down the boardwalk. Adrian laughed in delight and looked over at the bright redhead beside him.

"It's actually not bad!" Adrian exclaimed, smiling brightly. She smiled and giggled, her hazel eyes danced with a new light that he was finding that he liked.

"I told you. See, isn't life amazing?" She asked him, pulling away from him to spin quickly in a circle in front of him. Adrian laughed and nodded, smiling at the youthfulness of the woman that he had come to know as a friend more than anything else.

"It is. I'm sorry I checked out of it for so long," he agreed. He watched Samantha smile softly as she returned to his side. They walked silently down the boardwalk, contently enjoying their ice cream. Adrian watched the scene around them. He had always been so afraid of this place. It had taken Samantha a week to convince him that he couldn't be afraid of other people and places where other people visited.

It had taken another week for her to convince him to wear a t-shirt and swim shorts. He had protested hard on that issue. He had no idea how to swim and he figured learning how to swim in the ocean wasn't that brilliant of ideas. Samantha had agreed that learning to swim in the ocean wasn't a great idea. So she had proceeded to talk him into allowing her to give him a crash course in swimming. That had been an experience, but he was proud to say that he could swim now. No thanks to that correspondance course he had taken.

"Life is an adventure, Adrian. If you worry about everything, if you fear everything, then you aren't living it. That's what you were doing. I've known you for nearly three months now and the first two you never smiled. Your favorite expression was a grimace. Now look at you!" Samantha replied excitedly, giving him a small nudge. He could feel his cheek tingle at her comment. He marvelled at how she could make him blush. It had been far too long since he last blushed.

He stopped walking when he realized the last time he had blushed was when he courted Trudy. His face darkened and looked down at the ground. Samantha stopped in front of him and raised his chin with her finger.

"Hey now. What's wrong?" She asked him softly, searching his eyes. He looked up at her. How could he betray Trudy like this? He had promised to love her until he died. Here he was blushing with another woman while she was in heaven watching him. The thought made him sick.

"Trudy," he mumbled. Samantha nodded and pushed a strand of her red hair behind her ear.

"You don't have to become acquainted with the real world, Adrian. If you feel like you are somehow betraying Trudy's memory then just tell me to stop being pushy," Samantha said quietly. He swallowed hard. He could see the care that she had for him, care he hadn't seen in a woman since his beloved was alive.

"No it's okay. It's. . . just hard. I never moved on after. . ." he trailed off.

"I know, but it's time to move on. Trudy wouldn't have wanted you to live your life in fear," she said softly. He looked away, knowing that she was right. Yet would she have wanted him to find another woman that cared for him just as much as she had? He pushed the thought away. He could ask his therapist that question later. He gave her a smile.

"Let's go try that beach you've been telling me about."

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"You know Adrian this is a real break through for you. You've not tried to organize something in over eighteen sessions. So this new assistant Samantha is really changing your life huh?" His therapist asked him. Adrian no longer noticed how gray his hair was, or had been before. He was no longer noticing anything that had once seemed important to him. He couldn't understand it. There had only been one other time that this had happened and he had believed that Trudy was alive. It had been a horrid mistake made by a woman that was just using Trudy's memory as a way to get what she needed. It had cut him to the core and he had never been at that place again. Until now.

He nodded and smiled, a warmth radiated from the middle of his core. Samantha caused him to feel such wonderful emotions that he had tried very hard to supress.

"Yeah. She's wonderful. We went to the beach and had some ice cream. Then we went swimming in the ocean," Adrian reported, he smiled at the memory. He could still hear her gentle laughter as a wave knocked her down. He had come to her rescue, not wanting her to get hurt, but had fallen down in the sand himself.

"Swimming? In open water? Well good for you Adrian. That is an amazing turn around. Before you met this woman you never would have stepped foot in that ocean, let alone on the boardwalk," his therapist pointed out. Adrian nodded. He looked down at his hands and took a deep breath.

"I think . . . I have feelings for this woman," he rushed. His therapist's blue eyes widened.

"Really? Are you sure Adrian?" He asked him. He put down his pencil and just watched Adrian. Adrian licked his lips and nodded.

"She makes me feel like I can fly and I can't because I'm afraid of heights! I am always blushing and laughing and smiling! I can't stop smiling. Especially around her," Adrian replied.

"And how does that make you feel, Adrian?" His therapist asked quickly.

"Scared. I'm scared that I don't know what Trudy would think," Adrian replied, looking up at the man that he knew better than his old friends.He watched as he scratched his chin slowly.

"Well, we've talked a lot about Trudy. She was a wonderful woman that loved you deeply, Adrian. Do you really think that she would want you to have suffered so long? Do you think that she would mind that you were finally moving on?"

Adrian shrugged his shoulders. They had never discussed that subject. He had never dreamed that he would lose her or that she would lose him. It had never come up and now he was sitting here wondering if it was alright to feel this way again.

"I guess she wouldn't want me to be alone," Adrian made out slowly.

"Exactly. Trudy would have wanted you to find someone to be with and it dating isn't that bad. I say, let go of your mourning and live life." Adrian looked up and sighed deeply. If only it were that simple.