A/N: Just wanted to see if I could get into a Naruto character's mind. Guess who? LOL XD
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Why?
Why did this happen to me? What did I ever do to anybody?
Everyday I have to compel myself to get up and get dressed. To leave the comfort of my warm room and walk the long road until I reach 'the place', where everyone else has gathered. And force myself to wait out the unending day of loneliness sorrow, heartache... Everyone else's meeting place is a cold place to me, even though almost everyday the sun shines brightly. It's light is a dull lamp to me now, so far away that no matter what I do, not even the smallest fraction of its warmth reaches me.
I reach out and touch the water. It ripples gently under my palm, distorting the face I see starting back at me through blank, yet...sorrowful eyes. I know that...this person I see, in the water...it is me. The 'me' I have come to know and everyone hates.
Why do they see me differently? Am I really that out of place, that they deem it fit...to hurt me in any way they can?
It seems like years since I last had someone to sit beside me, to be with me...to love me for who I am...countless months since I saw a friendly face...A true smile...a hand on my shoulder,offering genuine comfort and support...I can't even count the days since the sun dawned bright and cheery, at least for me...
Each day flows into the other...endless taunts, both silent and spoken...Neverending solitude and despair, so thick that I'm wallowing, not drowning in it, much to my dismay...
Yes, there are times I want to kill myself, and then return as a ghost to gauge their reactions...if they react at all...I often wonder if anyone will notice I'm gone.
Probably not.
A small fish swims up, poking its head a little way out of the water, it's eyes regarding me with - what is that? - curiousity, perhaps...I give a small smile, content that there is someone - or something - here with me, and that I am not truly alone by this stream, contemplating my sorry life. But then...its just a fish; it can neither think nor feel like us humans...
Soon the fish swims away, further upstream, probably to find food or something. I can see that it has joined a school of other fish just like it and, as one, they swim through the water, allowing the current to help them along.
I wish that we could be like those fish, sticking together no matter what happens, no matter who we may be...Why can't they see...? See that, somehow, I am like them and that - however strange it sounds - they're like me, too...
Long hair or short, dark or light-colored, we are all essentially the same, aren't we? The only thing that differentiates us from the other is what's inside...and isn't that the part that matters the most?
They could be wrong, I know. We're all too young to know everything, but...aren't we...old enough to know better?
Maybe...maybe...
What if...they're right? What if I truly am...a monster? What if...I am what they say and I just don't know it yet?
What if...I deserve everything they've done to me and more...? What if...it's all true? What if...I'm not who I think I am...?
Do I even...deserve to...live...?
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A/N: Okay, does that count as a ramble or something? I don't know...Don't worry guys; I'm not psychotic or anything. D Please let me know what you think; your opinions are greatly appreciated.
Dewa mata! Peace out and God bless!