Disclaimer: I wish, oh, how I wish, I owned the Harry Potter books. But I only own the copies. Pity me.
Death Eater News
Contacts
By Adroc Alfmoy
The Dark Lord is dead!
It was a normal Death Eater meeting. The Dark Lord called us in for the usual; kill Potter, kill muggles, and for Wormtail to stop chewing on the table legs.
He was pacing, upset with how Potter foiled all of his schemes, even now that Dumbledore died in such a humiliating way. Recently, he has found a way to make little, pink, fuzzy sprites to follow all of us around, which is the reason why there may be pink glitter on this article.
Our Death Eater hideout is made of stone. Like a castle, but much smaller for obvious reasons. We all exchange the chore duties every week. It just so happened to be Goyle's turn to wax the stone floor and to change any section which have cracked due to torturing, maiming, interrogating and Wormtail.
It is very understandable Goyle missed a crack in the floor. We were all gathered on the floor and Voldemort was pacing, and tripped on the crack protruding from the floor.
So his red contacts fell out in the fall, and couldn't see a thing. He stumbled backwards, attempting to regain his lost dignity, and tripped right over a sleeping Nagini. She bit him because she was startled.
The Dark Lord died of blood loss after an hour. (1)
Marked Death Eaters have also died of blood loss due to the connection or the Dark Mark. I am lucky I am not one of them.
The war has ended. The Light Side won because The Dark Lord's pet killed him.
(1) Remember in the fifth book Mr. Weasley was bitten by a snake whose venom kept his wounds open. I imagine that would be Nagini, and Voldemort wouldn't care enough to create an antidote or, if he did, he wouldn't share it with his minions.
Short, but who said articles had to be long? And I don't agree with anyone who believes they have to be long.
Unscramble the name to figure out who wrote this...can't be that hard.