There was a knock at the door and Emma answered it for Henry and Cora to come in.
"Are you ok?" Regina said, moving forward to meet them. She had been pacing for the last 10 minutes as they waited for word from her parents.
"I'm fine," Cora said, placing her hand on Regina's forearm. "I was in no danger."
"Good," Regina said, but she stepped back half a step and so their contact broke. Cora also took a step back; feeling like her closeness wasn't welcomed by her daughter.
"I'm sorry," Regina said, after a moment of silence. "I'm sorry for earlier today. It doesn't even feel like it was the same day. You told me about your past and my response was to walk out. It was inconsiderate and childish of me. I … I just want to be able to know my mother and I find it difficult when you aren't upfront with me. I don't want to live a life of lies."
"Oh Regina," Cora said, and stepped forward with her arms open and Regina met her there and allowed herself to be hugged. "I'm sorry too."
They stayed like that for several seconds until Cora pulled back but cupped Regina's face in her hands. "My beautiful, wonderful daughter, I hope you can understand that while you may not understand the decisions your father and I have made, we made them because we thought it would protect you. We love you."
"I love you too," she said, and she looked over at her father. "I love you both."
Henry came up too and also hugged her.
"Emma I hate to ask this of you," Cora said. "But could you give us some time alone with Regina?"
Emma immediately looked to Regina.
"She doesn't have to leave," Regina said. "Emma knows. She knows about my magic."
Cora and Henry looked from Regina to Emma and back again, but neither said anything. Regina walked over to Emma and took her hand in hers. "She stays."
"Of course," Cora said. "Maybe we should sit."
There was plenty of room in their outer chamber and Emma and Regina took seats on the couch while Cora and Henry took the chairs.
"What happened out there?" Regina asked.
"It was as I said, another magic-user was somewhere down there and what you felt was magic – a sweeping magic that passed through all of the people up there. But as magic users you and I felt it," Cora paused, thinking through her next words carefully. "I may have panicked a little in my reaction. The magic was meant to cause us to react. If I hadn't have rushed down there, perhaps whoever it was would not know anyone up there could do magic. It was seeking magic and if I had done nothing perhaps they would have merely believed none of us were magic users."
Regina considered this, but Emma spoke up immediately. "Yeah, but everyone that has been around the festival today probably knows about that story that was told so they would know you do magic."
"It's possible that it spread that quickly I suppose. I assume Regina told you the reasoning behind us not wanting that information out."
"She did, which doesn't explain why you wouldn't at least tell your daughter," Emma said. "I mean do you guys have any idea what you have put her through."
"Emma …" Regina started to say but Emma cut her off.
"No, I have to say this. I can't be silent about it any longer."
"Go ahead," Cora said calmly before Regina could object further. "Say what you need to say."
"I don't understand," Emma said. "I don't understand how you could do this to your daughter. Whether you intended it or not you made her afraid of something that is inside of her – something that makes her special. You damaged your relationship with her over what, over this little thing. If you would have chosen to teach her, show her that she can use this magic safely then there would be no reason for her to fear. When she told me that she could do magic, she was so hesitant because of your edict that she never speak of this, but all I thought was how brave she was for speaking of something that was so personal to her. I didn't look at her differently for having magic, I looked at her different for sharing her pain with me, and the reason she and I are here today and the reason I love her is because of the entirety of her – all that makes her the unique, strong, beautiful woman she is. What you did to her was intentional and I would just like to know why."
Regina's attention had been on Emma while she spoke, listening to the heartfelt words, and by the time she had said special, she took Emma's hand and squeezed it. Hearing her say the words gave her some insight into how Emma viewed her.
When she was done speaking, Emma looked down at their joined hands and then up at Regina. Their eyes locked on each other and Emma squeezed her hand this time before they turned back to looking at Regina's parents.
Cora and Henry had also been looking at each other, but it was Henry who spoke up.
"I don't expect you to understand Emma or even you Regina. You don't have children. You don't know what it's like to fret every decision you make and whether it is a good or a bad decision," he said. "Do Cora and I wish things had been different? We do. Do we wish Regina never had to deal with these things? We do. But the decisions we made are what we thought was for the best at the time we made them. We love our daughter very much. I know I speak for her mother as well when I say she is the best thing about our lives together."
"But why did you do this?" Emma pressed. "Why tell her she couldn't learn magic? Why tell her she could never even speak of it?"
"Because we were afraid," Cora said. "We were afraid for you Regina. Knowing magic, it's not easy. It's not easy to master and it's not an easy thing to resist either."
She closed her eyes a moment again to think before she spoke and then opened them to make eye contact with Regina.
"The more you use magic, the more you will want to use magic," Cora said. "When I decided to stop using it, it was … difficult for me. I was so used to having it there at my fingertips ready to use it to move a book from across the room into my hand just because I could. Could I have gotten up and walked over to get that same book, yes, I could but I always chose magic. It's all the more challenging because you are having a war with your instincts – instincts that have been honed like a sharpened blade but instead of a sword it's your own power. Magic is seductive. There is no other way to put it. If I had continued to use magic, I wouldn't have the life I have now. I wouldn't have your father and I wouldn't have you. Of that I am sure."
"The day I gave birth to you," she continued, "Was among the happiest of my life. I remember holding you in my arms, your father right there beside me and I thought what an amazing gift I held. I used to think of my magic as a gift until that moment – that is when I knew what a true gift was. And I swore at that moment I would do whatever it took to protect you, so yes I denied you the legacy of magic that was your birthright. I did it knowingly and I admit with some reservations, but seeing you here now as this truly remarkable young woman you have become, and seeing you here with Emma and hearing the obvious love she has for you, well, I can only say that if you had set out on the path of magic you wouldn't be here now. Having that kind of magic, it doesn't work; it doesn't allow you to have any other priority in your life but it. If you want to live a life of magic, you have to make a decision Regina, a decision that would effectively mean giving up the life you have made here with Emma."
Her hand slipped from Emma's as her mother said this last part. She stood up and walked a few steps away, feeling the need to be on her feet. Suddenly, she realized what she had done, realized she had put a physical distance between her and Emma and as she saw her wife now, she could see that it had hurt her. Emma wasn't even looking at her, instead keeping her eyes on the floor in front of her.
Again, she felt that urge to flee. This was all too much her mind screamed at her. Why couldn't she have her magic and have Emma too if she so wished? Why did it have to be one way or the other? Wouldn't having mastery over her magic make her more secure with who she was and thus allow her to be completely open with her wife? These are the thoughts that swirled around in her mind. Her parents were watching her, waiting for her to say anything.
"Earlier when we wanted to speak to you and Emma's parents alone, we wanted to tell you that we are ready to rule our kingdom without your stewardship," she said. "She and I are ready for this, for all that it entails. And you need to let us do this on our own. This year, it's been … in the beginning, it was everything I dreaded. Being locked in a marriage with someone I didn't know and someone I didn't want to know because I would rather hold on to this hurt I felt at being forced to marry her. I thought it was unfair and I let that and the emotions it evoked consume me. But now, I … I don't want to tear apart what we have built here. I believe in what we are doing here and I believe in Emma."
Emma raised her head and gave her a small smile. It made Regina feel a little better for having stepped away.
"It's not a choice," Regina said. "If I have to choose between magic and this, then it's not a choice – I choose what we have built here. But I need to learn to control this magic. I can't keep going like I have been. Just in the past couple of days, I feel like the magic is going to burst from me at any moment. I can't live like this. I can't be a danger to others."
Cora saw her daughter's fear on display and knew that when it came down to it, this was her fault, and her responsibility to fix.
"As I promised, I will do my best to teach you to control it. Perhaps instead of leaving the day after next, I should stay here for the next month so that we can work together," Cora said. She and Henry had already spoken of this. They both couldn't stay, but since Cora had not left the kingdom at all this year it wouldn't be suspicious if she decided to stay on to visit with her daughter a bit. The truth was Cora didn't feel comfortable leaving Regina here with another magic user around.
"I would like that very much," Regina said. "Thank you."
"But you can't tell anyone else about this, you and Emma must keep this a secret. It won't do for others to learn you can do magic."
"Do you think she is in some danger?" Emma asked. "What do you believe was behind that magic being used tonight to get a reaction from you or Regina?"
"Well we don't know for sure that it was targeted at either of them," Henry said.
"It would be quite a coincidence if it wasn't," Emma said.
"The important thing is that Regina didn't use any magic up there," Cora said. "If she had the person who sent that magic out would know she had it. There is no reason to believe that she was targeted. If anyone was, it would most likely be me, but even as I went down there, no one tried anything against me. It may simply have been someone who heard the story about me and was curious."
"We shouldn't take any chances though," Emma said. "I'm going to have the guards doubled around her at the very least."
"I don't think that is necessary," Regina said.
"No, I think Emma is right," Henry said. "It won't hurt to take a few precautions at least in the short term."
"Fine," Regina conceded.
"It's getting late, we should probably retire to our rooms," Cora said as she stood up.
"Yes, I think that is a fine idea," Henry added.
"I'm going to go speak with the guards on duty out there," Emma said. "Give you a chance to say good night to your parents."
She left the room and as soon as the door shut, Cora was there next to Regina. "You haven't told Emma about why you two had to marry, have you?"
"Um no," Regina said.
"Good," her father said. "You must not tell her. We can understand why you would tell her of your magic, but that other thing, it must not ever be spoken of."
She faced them both and nodded. "Is this it? Is this the end of the secrets and lies between us? Have you told me all there is to know about your past with Emma's parents and this Maleficent?"
"Regina, you're never going to know everything about everything," Cora said. "I am afraid that is something you are just going to have to accept – as we all do at some point in our lives. Our deal is still in place, I will teach you to control your magic, but I do not wish to rehash my past with Maleficent just so feel better about all of this."
"Honey," Henry said. "It is best if you turn your thoughts to your life here. You are right, you have started something worth cherishing here with Emma and you are right, it's time for us to give up the stewardship of the kingdom and let the rightful rulers rule it. I will speak with Snow in the morning. I'm sure she too sees that it is time. Now give me a hug good night, as I'm tired and wish to be in bed."
Regina gave each of her parents a hug and kiss on the cheek. As they were leaving Emma was coming back in and she too wished them good night.
"I spoke to the guards, they will be doubled by morning," Emma said.
"I still don't think it is necessary, but thank you for thinking of my safety," Regina said.
"Of course, I also took the liberty of having your mother's detail doubled, just as a precaution."
"Thank you," she said.
Emma embraced her. "I would do anything for you, I hope you know that."
Regina didn't respond but kissed her. "Shall we go to bed?"
"Yes, let's," Emma said.
They retired to their inner chamber, both women going to change clothes. They had long dropped the idea of waiting for the other to change clothes, and normally Emma would sneak a peek at her wife but tonight she found her mind full of other thoughts.
Technically, the festival ended with the fireworks but since many of the entertainers would not be leaving yet, they had kept performance areas open for any of them to avail themselves of tomorrow. Most of the rulers would be leaving tomorrow, but her parents and Regina's parents were due to leave the following day, although now Cora would be staying.
Despite their talk, Emma still had doubts about what they had been told. She wasn't sure why, and she wondered if it was merely because before this she had begun to form a negative opinion about Regina's parents.
And then there was the matter of the unknown magic-user. Even though it seemed Regina's parents were trying to make it sound like they shouldn't be concerned, Emma was worried. She didn't know enough about magic to know how to protect Regina if she was targeted. That bothered her the most – what use would she be to her wife if magic was used against her?
Then there was that moment out there when Regina had moved away from her. Despite what Regina said, it still bothered Emma that Regina did it. She should be someone Regina should gravitate toward not away from. Again, she wondered about the depths of Regina's feeling for her.
While she had confessed her love, she felt doubt creep in that it would ever be reciprocated by Regina.
Tomorrow was their one-year anniversary and they had a dinner prepared which their parents would be attending. She had been anticipating their actual anniversary but the events of today had chased such thoughts from her brain.
"Emma,"
She was startled by Regina putting a hand on her arm and she realized she had been standing there not even changing clothes.
"Are you ok?" Regina asked.
"Yes, lost in thought is all. It's been a long day."
"It has been," she replied. "Come on, get dressed so we can go to bed."
Regina left the room and Emma changed clothes this time. Once she was out in the bed-chamber, Regina was already settling down and in the process of extinguishing the lamp next to her side of the bed. Emma followed suit and soon they were lying there in the darkness.
"There used to be a lot of guards around me when I was growing up," Regina said after minutes had passed in silence. Emma turned to face her.
"Why is that?"
"I don't know," Regina said. "I just remember it seemed like no matter where I was there were always guards around."
"Well you were a princess, so it makes sense. There were guards around me too."
"I guess. It felt different though. It seemed like there was always someone around to watch me. I think it was all the guards that made me first want to take off on my horse – you know, escape for a little while."
"Do you ever feel like that now?" Emma asked. "Like you want to escape?"
Regina could hardly believe those words had come out of Emma's mouth. While she understood that Emma probably knew her better than anyone else at this point, she wondered if Emma was asking that as a reaction to what she had just said about the guards or because of her moving away from her out there. She found she was unable to speak because she knew if she did she would have to lie to Emma and tell her the answer was no that she didn't want to escape.
The silence in response had Emma moving back onto her back. She slid her arm underneath her head and stared at the ceiling.
"I do think about it sometimes," Regina said finally. "I think about how running away might be easier than facing a problem, like this stuff with my parents and my magic. I think sometimes what it would be like if I hadn't been a princess or wasn't a queen and I wasn't bound by the responsibilities of those titles. They are fleeting thoughts though, fantasies. But yes, I do think about it sometimes."
Emma remained still and silent.
"The other night, the night before my mother came here that morning to say she would teach me to control my magic. I thought about it then after my fight with her. I thought I would come back here and change clothes, and saddle Quicksilver myself if I had to and just ride and ride until I couldn't go any further," she said. "It was probably the closest I had ever come to truly thinking about going through with a plan to run away. But I came back here and I saw you here lying in our bed and even before you asked me if I was coming to bed, I knew I wasn't going anywhere. Not because I'm queen or because I have responsibilities to the realm. I stayed because of you Emma."
She reached out and placed a hand on Emma's stomach and Emma brought her other hand over and lightly brushed over the tops of Regina's fingers.
"But you're not in love with me, are you?" Emma asked softly.