A/N: I know, I know, I know! It's late! I'm sorry! This chapter was just a pain to write, because I don't like writing Harry as much as Lily. But anyway, it should pick up from here on. Anyway, pretty soon it will get good. I just realized how stupid that sounded; let me try again. The action starts very soon, when they all go to Diagon Alley and Lily, and Remus go to Hogwarts! Better?

And I realize this is short, so deal with it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything you may recognize. Please don't sue me, JK!

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Chapter 3: Harry

It had been a while since I'd lost it like that. I hadn't screamed at someone even when Ginny died. That rush of anger and adrenalin hadn't bubbled up inside me since Dumbledore had died, I had learned to control it, but with Remus I… couldn't. It wasn't fair, what he'd said. Ron and Hermione wouldn't understand, they still had each other.

Lily sat down next to me and guided my head onto her shoulder, just like I had wished someone would have when Ginny had died. I let her, sobbing openly onto her shoulder. No matter how surreal the experience was, I was still grateful. I hadn't cried for a while either. The last time I had let myself indulge in tears had been at Professor Dumbledore's funeral, but after that it had been required that I be strong. Even though I was not the Ministry's poster boy, I was still an icon of hope to many, and I could afford to show weakness. Afterwards, I was in a bit of a funk. People celebrated my defeat of Voldemort, but I could not bring myself to join them. Sure he was gone, but at what cost? Lives had been lost, and as I sipped white wine with Ron and Hermione a week or two after the funeral, trying to put everything behind us, I realized that I'd done what I had been put on earth to do. And I had nothing left. There was no purpose to live for.

Ron and Hermione got married. Wedding plans distracted them from the pain. I helped them out where I could, and went to all the parties and social gatherings that had sprung up. Many times I was the guest of honor at fancy dinners. I received an order of Merlin, first class, for everything I'd done and was even offered the position of Minster of Magic. I turned it down, and once Ron and Hermione were off on their honeymoon, I holed up in Sirius' house. It had been four months and I hadn't left since.

They all think I've gone insane. I read the tabloids, and each rag houses a new theory to where I've gone each day. Most newspapers understand that I'm simply broken hearted. Thankfully out of respect neither the Quibbler, which was now controlled by Luna Lovegood, not the Daily Prophet mentioned me. Currently the latter was owned by Draco Malfoy, my relatively new ally. During the later years of the war Draco had turned spy for the Order, helping me in my hunt for the horcruxes. Of course contact between us was awkward at first, we had been enemies for years and that's not something you can easily forget. Later, however, I began to depend on his feed of information, and we became friends. I haven't seen him since the Weasley's wedding either.

So I cried because I could. I cried because I had messed up in so many ways. I could have done so many things to make my life better, but I hadn't. And now my mother, who I was never supposed to meet, was rocking me back and forth, letting me cry onto her shoulder. I tried to ignore the guilt I'd received from yelling at Remus. He was my friend, he stood by me and yet I'd intentionally used his weakness against him. I'd expected Lily to be angry with me for hurting him and bringing her from her time, but she was as nice as everybody had said, and I saw so soon.

"You know I've only known you twenty minutes but I can already see you're my son," she whispered softly. At first I didn't think I'd heard her correctly, she'd only seen my bad traits so gar, selfishness, and furtiveness to a degree. "You got my temper." I really would have laughed if I hadn't been so mind-bogglingly out of sorts. Of course Sirius used to tell me about my parent's teenage arguments that used to shake the Gryffindor common room. "Although I'm sure I must give some credit to James, he's got a strong furor at times, but I take full recognition for your ability to fire off comebacks." I laughed though my tears, making her smile. Sensing that she was helping, she continued talking, somehow realizing that hearing about her and my dad made me feel better. "Of course James should take acclaim for your ability to bawl your eyes out. You should have seen him this one time last year when he broke both his legs before a quidditch match and wasn't allowed to play. Remus and Peter had to carry him away from the pitch, he was so upset." The thought of my dad being dragged out of the quidditch stands forced the image of Remus' tearful glare out of my mind as I laughed more strongly. Lily pulled backward, forcing me to look her in the eye. She smiled sadly as she thumbed away my tears and tutted softly under her breath.

I had never been a big fan of irony, but you didn't need to be one to see the irony of my situation. My mother, who at this point was younger than myself, was doing something I'd only let a very close friend do. And yet I'd only known her for a little less than a half an hour. "Feeling better?" she asked. I nodded, feeling small.

"Sorry you had to witness that," I said regretfully, ashamed at how I had behaved in front of her. I hoped she hadn't gotten a bad impression of me. She shook her head.

"Don't worry about it. You provided me with a crash course on what's happened since I was sixteen." She laughed softly and glanced downwards nervously. Then se noticed the faded state of my jeans, along with the large gaping hole in the knee and one of my battle scars displayed through it. "If you don't mind me asking, how on earth did you get that?" Her tone was anxious and concerned, reminding me of Molly Weasley. I didn't want to tell her. Lily seemed like the epitome of innocence at this age, she hadn't seen war or death. I wanted to keep her that way, since as her son I needed to protect her.

"Nothing, just a scar." But she didn't back down as she looked over my body. She traced a finger over my arm, which was displayed because of my short-sleeved shirt, then up my shoulder and neck to my face. As her brow furrowed she pressed her index finger to my lightening bolt scar on my forehead.

"You've got them everywhere. And according to magical theory, a scar like this would be the outcome of Avada Kedavra if anyone were to survive it!" She shifted onto her knees and leant forward as I bit my lip. I really didn't want to get into this now, not after I'd cried my eyes out in front of her. "So it's true what Remus said, I did die to protect you."

"I'm so sorry Lily," I said quickly, not sure what to tell someone when they found out they were dead. She shook her head quickly, her eyes never leaving mine.

"Don't apologize, I'm here now. And I'm not leaving anytime soon." Sighing with relief, I stood up and extended a hand. She took it and stood up along side me. "But you really should apologize to Remus." I turned to look at her, a little annoyed that she had brought him up. Upon seeing my doubt, she added, "I know he shouldn't have pushed you like that, but you really do owe it to him. If he's as alone as he says he is, then you may be all he's got." This was true; he was more alone than I was. Plus seeing Lily after knowing she was dead for twenty years had to be upsetting. If James had come with her, Remus would have died from shock. "Harry, you know you should."

"I guess you're right," I admitted quickly, convinced by the earnest look on my mother's face. She smiled victoriously, before dropping my hand and heading towards the door. I just stood for a moment, my own smile growing. I wasn't alone any more. As she stood in the doorway she turned around, raising an eyebrow. "Well, aren't you coming? I don't know where to go!"

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My confidence had faded when I stood outside Remus' door, Lily waiting patiently at my side. A classic bad sign could be heard from the other side of the door, pages turning. Lily didn't know Remus well enough yet to know that when he was upset, he reminisced, searching through photo albums as if the pictures could reassure him and give him answers. I could almost predict which album he was looking over now, his wedding album.

"Just get it over with, Harry," Lily urged, crossing her arms. I glared at her, before tentatively knocking on the door. The muffled sounds of his album stopped, before the sound of staggered steps came in our direction. Finally Remus opened the door, revealing dozens of photo albums strewn out across the floor, most of which showing pictures of the Marauders hanging out by the lake, or playing quidditch. He looked like death walking, with his hair scuffed up and his shirt untucked. He didn't even bother hiding the Firewhiskey bottle he was holding by its neck. I cringed under his blank, hollow stare, but Lily was distracted. She swept past Remus to kneel down next to a scrapbook, the photo showing featuring her. I watched her pull the leather bound book into her lap, her expression dumbfounded as she looked down at her seventeen-year-old self, who smiled and waved to the camera as James pulled her into his lap. The real Lily just bit her lip sadly, fingering the corner of the page. Remus didn't notice and continued looking at me, completely empty.

"I just wanted to…" I looked in vain to her for support but she wasn't paying attention. "To apologize for what I said earlier." I looked down anxiously. Remus didn't comment. "It was out of line."

"It's fine Harry," he responded quietly, still holding the doorknob. I shifted anxiously, hesitantly looking back to Lily. She was still flipping through the pages, fascinated by the snapshots of her, then her and Sirius, then James and Sirius, then her and Remus, then Peter and Sirius.

"I suppose I'll just… go… then," I mumbled quietly, seeing that Lily would rather stay with him. Remus nodded, and Lily still said nothing. He closed the door as I walked down the hallway. There was one thing off my list. Next I had to enroll her in Hogwarts.

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A/N: I think next chapter Remus will comfort her and I'll do their trip to London. I promise it gets better, and not as angsty. And I still don't have a teaser for you, I've just been really busy. I'll update faster next time, since the next chapter should be more fun to write. Thank you for all the reviews! And yes, the romance starts soon.

Final Word Count: 1985 (I promise these will get longer.)