A/N: Sorry for the serious lack of updates, but as you all know by now this is not my first priority fan fic. My times goes mainly to Magnetic Attraction and Where White Meets Black, so this one will get updated maybe every other week. That's actually pretty good compared to some of those, 'I'll update every five months' authors. But anyway, next chapter should be pretty good.

IMPORTANT! Just so you know, this chapter has a tiny bit of Remus/Lily, but do not run screaming! This fic will have a bunch of switching ships, especially for Lily and Remus, so do not run for the hills! Okay? Promise?

And the angst will end soon; this is really the last chapter of total suicidal ranting.

Summary (revised and added to): Battle scarred and slightly insane, Harry recreates his sixteen-year-old mother. Of course, the spell is permanent, and she has to continue her schooling at Hogwarts, with both Remus Lupin and Severus Snape as teachers. Of course, a lot happened in the twenty years she skipped, and it's up to them to fill her in on just what happened. Angst, drama, Luna Lovegood's slutty American cousin (no joke), and oh so many random ships can be expected. Just trust me, it's good, if not random. You've been warned. Oh, and Draco comes back! Yay!

I'll just stop my rant, okay?

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Chapter 4: Remus

I'll admit that when things get bad in life, I look back at when they weren't so totally crap. Of course as far back as I can remember things haven't been sipping cool drinks on the beach. I was bitten at a young age, and until Hogwarts I'd never had friends who could understand what I went through. Even then I had problems to deal with: my parent's divorce, my hidden transformations, the death of my friend's parents, and eventually the death of my own. After school was the war, then the funerals. Facing prejudice and death my whole life had warped me, and everybody knew it. I was shy, solemn. Nymph used to call me on it. "The world's so much more beautiful when you smile, Remus! Please join us in the land of the living," She teased me, smiling brilliantly as her pink hair reflected the light that seemed to follow her everywhere.

Her hair didn't shine in the pictures; I've always hated that. Staring down at her picture isn't the same as standing next to her, holding her hand like we were seventeen. For one week I had been happy, away from the war on our honeymoon. The picture shows her grinning shamelessly on the beach in California, without a care in the world. For that week I didn't think about the full moon or Voldemort. It was just us.

We didn't know that that would be it.

And now Lily was here, the girl who had left my life abruptly in my twenties when she died to protect her son. Lily Evans, not snared by James' charm. Not Potter, Evans! The effect her presence would have on the world I couldn't calculate. Only her old teachers and acquaintances would recognize her, since she was known to the world as a Potter, but the presses couldn't find out. And what would Severus say? He was still teaching potions, and if I remembered correctly, they had been friends before James had ruined it in 7th year. He would treat her like she was twenty-one again; she wouldn't know what to do!

A lot had changed since I was sixteen; I'd fallen in love and done my best to forget about my school days, since I really was the only one left. But now with her walking back into my life, I was forced to remember it all; the infamous nights of Marauder Truth-Or-Dare, the nights in the Shrieking Shack, the dateless Saturdays I spent in the library with that traitorous rat Pettigrew.

I threw back another gulp of whiskey, staring down at a picture of Sirius and James at graduation. He didn't know that he faced thirteen years in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit. And James, he would get married to the women of his dreams, start a family, and then die. I turned the page, and then saw me absorbed in a book in the library, saying goodbye to Hogwarts the only way I knew how. Even then I wasn't naive or ignorant, but I had no idea what troubles I would face without Dumbledore's protection.

Unable to look at photos from my teenage years without getting completely sloshed, I closed the album and looked over at Lily. She was sitting cross-legged against the wall, with a periwinkle blue scrapbook in her lap. I recognized it immediately, since it occasionally haunted my dreams, I'm not even being sarcastic. Anyway, Lily's mouth was slightly open as she watched one of the photos toward the back. Feeling the need to explain what the book was, I said softly,

"I was going to give that to you for your birthday." She started as if she had forgotten I was in the room. Her hair swept across her eyes as she looked up, confusion in their depths.

"Why didn't you?" she asked, and I pushed my school album off my lap and crawled over to sit next to her, placing my drink beside me. She didn't shrink away. With an amused smile I realized the picture she was looking at was of Sirius and James trying to feed formula to a six-month-old Harry. They both had more of the mush on their faces than Harry had in his mouth.

"Because you died before I could give it to you." She winced at my brutal honesty, before turning the page. It revealed Peter, with the baby on his knee. I scowled at the picture, before ordering, "Turn the page," my voice strangely gruff. Lily didn't, and instead looked up inquiringly at me.

"Why?" she asked innocently. "What did Peter do?"

"He killed my best friends and my wife," I snarled, not at her but at the miniature brunette, who waved at me. Horrified, she quickly moved onwards to the next snapshot, which showed Sirius and her leaning happily against his flying motorbike, a fall wind blowing her hair around behind her, while Sirius' shaggy locks were cemented under his helmet.

"Is Black dead as well?" she asked quietly. Biting my lip, I answered,

"He fell through the Veil of Whispers at the ministry, so chances are you." Poor Lily must have felt so confused. "Chances are that anyone you remember from school is gone or changed by the war, Lily," I told her sadly, thinking of myself. She sighed.

"I can imagine." She turned the page to see her and Alice Longbottom drinking tea while Harry and Neville played with blocks at their feet. "Alice and Frank?" she asked nervously.

"Crucioed into insanity."

"Amy?"

"Dead, killed during an early raid."

"Severus?" I froze. She looked at me, fearing that he had died as well. What could I say, that he was a recluse who played mind games with his students and was constantly plagued by guilt? That it was partially his fault that Voldemort had chosen Lily and James to kill? Snape wasn't the same sixteen-year-old potions making teenager who put up a front around the world but took it down for her. He would treat her like the twenty-one year old who hated her and all she stood for with a passion, not the innocent, unaware girl that she was now. He would push her away deliberately. But him and I, we were the only ties she had to her time in the late 70s. "Remus, did he die as well?"

"No," I said. "No, he's unhurt." Other than the bruised ego, that is. She relaxed noticeably, but still looked concerned. Perhaps she had noticed my shifty eyed glances at my whiskey bottle.

"Then why are you so nervous?" Oh, how to answer?

"He was also effected by the war and isn't the same person. It would be best if you stay away from him when you are at Hogwarts." She arched an eyebrow sonically, that ironically reminded me of Severus himself.

"Why is he at school? Does he teach?" I nodded, relieved that that was the topic she had chosen to harp on. If I remembered correctly Severus had become a death eater sometime in December of our sixth year, so she still was blissfully unaware.

"He is the potions master. I actually teach as well, Defense Against the Dark Arts." She smiled, laying her hand on my arm in a congratulatory gesture.

"That's great Remus, you always do tutor me! In fact, just last night you helped me with my Transfiguration homework!" She paused, remembering it was not last night for me, but over twenty years ago. "I'm never going to get used to this." I laughed nervously, feeling the same way. "I mean, before I went to bed last night I was worrying about what I was going to wear to Truth or Dare tomorrow night, not meeting my own son." I froze, feeling my stomach clench. Had she just said what I thought she'd said? Damnit.

"Lily, what say was it when you went to sleep?" I asked, my voice suddenly shaky. She looked up from the album to watch me, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"October 14th, why?" Shit.

Friday Night Marauder Truth-Or-Dare was legendary back at school, and was invitation only. It had started in our fifth year and had become tradition, with every one in the school clambering for one of the red and gold invitations. Several dares had gone down as Hogwarts myths, such as Sirius' wonderful production of Madonna's 'Like A Virgin' on the top of the North Tower. Of course, admitting secrets was never a good idea, and I was lucky that no one had thought to ask about my monthly disappearances. However, the tradition had ended during our sixth year, when James had unearthed a very personal secret of Lily's. After that, the game hadn't been fun anymore. And it just so happened that that specific game had taken place on October 15th.

"No reason," I answered, reaching for my whiskey. This was going to be harder than I thought. "You know, Dumbledore managed to salvage some of your old stuff, we might have a couple boxes in the attic." She smiled nervously, realizing something important had happened on the 15th. "I'll go poke around for you."

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Blowing dust off the top of the school trunk, I unclasped the lock to push it open. Lily sat down beside me, biting her lip. We were greeted by another puff of dust as Lily waved it away to see the old trunk's contence. She smiled as she saw the faded gray skirts and robes, amid the mix of old muggle clothing and sets of platform shoes. Lily eagerly dove in, rummaging through it for something as if searching for gold. I pulled a photo off the inside of the lid where it was pinned, to see it was the official picture of our truth-or-dare game, stamped October 15th. It had been taken before the game had started, and all of us were still smiling, with Sirius' girlfriend Amy in his lap, and James' hands on a fidgeting Lily's shoulders. I cringed as I noticed her eyes kept flashing to my sixteen-year-old self.

"Head girl?" Lily breathed as she found her shiny badge in one of the side pockets. "I made head girl?" Tucking the photo away, I nodded.

"Who else?" I responded rhetorically.

"And you made head boy, right?" She wasn't looking at me, only staring down at the badge resting in her palm.

"No, actually James did." She laughed, looking over to me. Still smiling, still so unaware. Don't ask why, please don't ask why.

"How is that possible?" Clearing my throat, I bit my lip. Oh I wish I could tell you, Lily, just how much you missed. You missed the headlines, the letters from angry parents; you missed your own secrets being blurted out by yourself.

"I rejected the position," I admitted quietly. Her eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. "It wouldn't have been appropriate for me to be in such a position of power because of my… condition." It took her a moment to understand, but she realized what I meant with a wince. Please fall for it, please don't ask why.

"Oh." There was a pregnant pause as I silently begged her not to question further. But I needn't worry, because Lily squealed and dug a bright purple dress out from under a stack of worn schoolbooks. "I was going to wear this tomorrow! Wow, this is so weird!" Smiling at her immaturity, I agreed. "So how was Truth-Or-Dare anyway, I can't believe I missed it." Damn, think fast Remus.

"It was over twenty years ago, I don't remember it perfectly," I protested, although I remembered it as if it were yesterday. It was quite hard to forget, and it had made Lily's life, as well as mine, very difficult. She rolled her eyes and pouted at me, making me shift uneasily. I'd forgotten she'd done that. "Lily, don't do that to me."

"Oh come on Remus, you're only forty-two. You're not old enough to be losing memory." Crud. Next tactic: avoid the problem.

"It was interesting," I started as Lily shifted to sit cross-legged on the floor facing me. "James dared Sirius to sing 'Like A Virgin' from the top of the North Tower. I think we even got it on tape." Lily grinned, obviously lapping it all up. "Needless to say, he did it willingly, and with lots of flair."

"I can imagine."

"Oh, and then I asked James what would he least want the school to know. Turns out he slept with a teddy bear named Mr. Giggles." Lily laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. I smiled feebly. "Then Amy dared me to… um," I halted, blushing with embarrassment. Lily poked me in the ribs.

"Hey, don't hold out on me! What'd she dare you?"

"Alright, fine. Don't say I didn't warn you. She dared me to strip tease down to my boxers to 'Man, I Feel Like A Woman,' ok?" She burst out into laughter, falling onto her back. I glared at her before reaching over to grab my whiskey bottle. Knocking it back, I remembered the Ultimate TOD album Sirius had given me. "I think I have pictures somewhere around here." Lily didn't recover until I handed her the black bound scrapbook, only to burst into a fit of giggles when she saw James clutching a fluffy pink teddy protectively to his chest.

"You hav-haven't mentioned me y-yet," she breathed while flipping through its pages. "What idiotic things did you marauders make me do?" She stopped to stare open mouthed at a picture of me blushing madly as I unbuttoned my shirt, while Sirius and James clapped madly.

"They didn't dare you," I said softly, staring unseeing into her old school trunk. Perhaps it would just be better to tell her, avoid all the nervous dodging of questions.

"Oh god, they truthed me. Potter asked me how I really feel about him, didn't he? Oh that must have been so much fun to call him an arrogant prick straight to his face." I laughed. "That must have bumped his ego down a few notches."

"You brought it down a few alright, but that wasn't what he asked you." She groaned dramatically and rolled her eyes again. "Although there's probably a picture of his reaction to your answer in there, Sirius wanted to document it."

"Stop stalling and tell me the question, Remus, don't make me confiscate your chocolate," she threatened. My eyes widened as she smirked victoriously.

"You wouldn't," I hissed, absolutely shocked, and partly ashamed that the classic threat still stuck.

"Try me." I sighed before saying,

"Fine. James, the plank that he was may he rest in peace, asked you fairly shamelessly who you actually fancied, and how strongly you felt about them." She dropped her book as I coughed awkwardly, her smirk sliding off her face as if she had been slapped. Feeling it was the only thing to do to help and also slightly drunk, I handed her my Fire whiskey bottle. She downed the rest of it, before I summoned another one from my closet. "That must be why Harry's spell chose the 14th to bring you here, they didn't know yet."

"Listen, uh Remus… Can we just pretend you never found out?" I nodded, preferring it that way. After all, it would be pretty hard to teach a 16-year-old Lily Evans about Defense Against the Dark Arts knowing she had had a huge crush on me when I was a teenager.

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"So then he said, 'It's not my fault Snape fancies you! If you're my girlfriend you can't hand out with that creep!'" Lily snorted into her glass bottle as I retold another infamous fight between her and James that had taken place during our final year. "And you said, 'Sev doesn't fancy me, he's bloody gay!'"

"Is he gay?" she asked through her laughter. She hiccupped softly, making me smile. We were both completely piss drunk.

"No, you were just trying to tick James off." She nodded vaguely. "Anyway James goes, 'If he's gay then why does he think I'm such a prick? I'm hot!' And you responded, 'What, do you want him to like you? Because he's been standing behind you for ten minutes!'" Lily fell backwards off my bed and onto the floor, screaming with laughter. I merely laughed at her, the joke wasn't that funny.

Although whiskey bottles four, six, and nine helped.

"And I dated that moron?"

"You married him!" The previous tension between us had disappeared, as well as my sadness that reminiscing had only increased. "But you'll be happy to know Harry's nothing like his father."

"Oh?" I nodded, my eyes zoning out.

"Yeah, much more moody and dark, though who wouldn't be in his position? Fiancé is dead because of who he was. But he's not the only one." Hiccup.

"Fiancé?"

"Yup. Weasley, smart girl. You-Know-Who tortured her right in front of him, but he couldn't do nothin'." The door creaked open, but neither of us noticed. "He could either let her die or let the world die. He chose the first. Hasn't left the house ever since his funeral, hardly speaks, since no one can really understand." Lily listened to every detail, knowing it would explain why she was brought here. I plowed on. "Feels guilty, blames himself. Course he thinks we blame him too, but we don't. He's paying the price now, poor guy." Someone coughed in the doorway. I looked up to see Harry, looking pretty miffed. "Hey Harry! Want some whiskey?" He shook his head, thin lipped. We giggled.

"I just came to say I enrolled Lily at Hogwarts and that tomorrow we can go to Diagon Alley to get her everything she needs." We nodded, and he sighed before sweeping off, glaring at our multiple liquor bottles. After the door clicked shut we once again burst out into laughter for no apparent reason.

It as nice not to be alone anymore.

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A/N: Well, I hope it was worth the wait, though it probably wasn't. I'll work on this over the long weekend, so I'll update faster next time. And I promise next chapter we'll see their trip to Diagon Alley. Really. And Draco makes his first appearance. –Smirk-

Teaser?

I took in his blond hair and familiar smirk, wide eyed. Was that Lucius Malfoy? But he wouldn't look so young; this boy was just as young as Harry! I took a step closer to my son.

Laters!

Final Word Count: 3332